Sent at: Wed Apr 09, 2008 3:45 pm
From: Winnow
To: Sylvus
Off the record, I really just want a stupid fuckslut to bang and blow me while I post jibberish on VV.
Go Suns!
Is nothing private anymore!?
Huh?
Noysy wrote:
Then 1 day, she calls me at work (no idea how she got the #) and invites me to a movie like 5 years later. I figure 'what the hell, maybe ill tap that shit again'. And we go out a couple times, once with my then best friend. Bahm, now they have the chance to start seeing each other so they do, and it opened up a whole lotta hurt left inside me. Now I'm back where I was before minus 1 best friend.
Girls aint worth the trouble. Bang-em while you can then move on. But I'm a cynical mysoganist now so whateve.
Damn. That has to be close to as bad as it can happen. Once you're over than hump you'll be able to handle anything.
This was my actual non-edited response on this thread:
Winnow wrote:
Markulas wrote:I know how you feel. In a way relationships are like history. Once things stop being exciting (good or bad) people stop caring.
There's also the issue of seeing too much of a person which IMO, leads to lack of excitement. I probably won't explain this well. The ideal relationship is one where you would spend maybe two days a week with your partner. The other five would be spent with both parties doing things that interest them as an individual. I'm assuming that both parties are educated and have careers or hobbies that capture their attention. The two days/nights spent together become much more enjoyable as you look forward to them and also don't spend so much time together that you get irritated or bored with each other. I'm not talking about sex. This only works with two individuals that don't need to be dawdled over with attention.
Find someone that doesn't need everything planned out for them or needs your attention 24/7. There's also the extrovert/introvert thing. It's not going to work out if someone keeps asking if everything's OK or if something's wrong. Keep that in mind when dealing with your partner and their personality type.
Executive Summary: Find someone that is independent and smarter than you (or at least strive to find someone smarter than you (not you as in Leonaerd but as in anyone, male or female). Make sure they can entertain themselves and that there is enough trust in the relationship to not worry about your partner when they're out and about doing their own thing. Find someone you can have conversations with for longer than five minutes (that aren't about a movie or the weather) without them or you losing interest.
Keep the cuddling to a minimum outside of your two day window. Spooning is OK. Find someone that will battle for the covers in bed. If they complain when they wake up and you've rolled yourself up in the covers and they're coverless on the other side of the bed, it's a sign of weakness and they're not the one for you. Find someone who will grab the covers back and push you off the bed. Tough love.
You've got to face facts. Sometimes, while maybe the sex is good or you have fun out on the town with your partner, you may bore each other while not having sex or partying.
Plan B: find a deadbeat with a fast metabolism that's happy playing console and computer games all day and night that swallows (or is a master of the tongue tornado technique)
Winnow wrote:...while maybe the sex is good or you have fun out on the town with your partner, you may bore each other while not having sex or partying.
That part's true anyway.
Depends on what your expectation is, prior to meeting my wife I'd walked away from every woman I'd ever been with, no regrets and not a look back.
Don't remember how the quote went, something along the lines of "You want to marry someone like June Cleaver? You probably won't meet her in a bar". Was a good one about fishing in dirty water and catching a stinky fish too but I can't remember it either
"Life is what happens while you're making plans for later."
Aabidano wrote:
Don't remember how the quote went, something along the lines of "You want to marry someone like June Cleaver? You probably won't meet her in a bar". Was a good one about fishing in dirty water and catching a stinky fish too but I can't remember it either
You'd also be the dirty fisherman fishing in the dirty water!
I agree with the point in general. It's a smaller scale of what happens when people meet online. You're only exposed to the side of the person that shows when they're in a "fun" setting used by both parties because it's enjoyable. Same holds true for bars, etc.
I wouldn't single out bars as being a bad place to meet someone, but I'd emphasize that no matter how you meet someone, before entering a long term relationship, you need to have time for both parties to observe all sides of how the other person deals with life.
On Topic: Stay away from her. As others have said, delete her number from your cell phone. Label her email as Spam so you don't have to read it. Delete pictures of her from your photo album, if you need to. For your own mental sanity, you need to move. Any reminder of her, throw away or, better yet, regift to an acqaintance/relative.
Regarding maintaining the health of a long-term relationship, nothing is better than finding hobbies or activities which you both enjoy. Key word there is finding. Whether it's playing MMORPGs, going to movies, geocacheing, hiking/camping, ... whatever, find something you both can do and enjoy which brings you closer together. If you have lots of things you both enjoy doing, you'll be able to share that with each other. It also helps to have your own interests as well for your own sanity.
Lust is a fleeting emotion. Love is more lasting. The hard part is differenciating between the two.
Funny story. I'm driving Sarah back to her place this morning (giggity) and Jane sees us in the car as she's walking to class. Awkward!
But I'm done with that ho. Deleted her aim screen name, long-since erased her from my facebook friends and unbookmarked all websites pertaining to her... She called yesterday, but only to ask something about drug testing (which I'm regrettably well informed about). That was the first time I'd heard her voice in months, and I didn't feel the urge to kill her or anything. I don't think I want to maintain contact with her, in case the wound opens up again. But I think I'm at a comfortable stage at the moment. I just wish I would stop randomly seeing her on campus! Although she lost weight and her already slim ass is looking too slim for comfort, which makes me happy. Ha!
So...I skipped a bit through this thread...but aside from the imagined infidelity and your own insecurities, what did this woman do to you to morph from someone you were in love with into a ~'complete ho bitch that you could care less about'?
edit: I'd just like to thank Firefox's spell-checker for correcting my entry of "hobitch" to "ho bitch".
Keverian FireCry wrote:So...I skipped a bit through this thread...but aside from the imagined infidelity and your own insecurities, what did this woman do to you to morph from someone you were in love with into a ~'complete ho bitch that you could care less about'?
It wasn't so much that there was a distinct transormation. Our relationship degenerated as the "new fun" wore off and we started to really undertand each other. At that point, we both realized the incompatibility issues were relevant and there wasn't any amount of fixing that could reignite what had been lost. At least we had a year of fun, though. I don't regret our time together and I hope I can find somebody else some day that can provide me / us another year+ of fun.
I say she's a "ho bitch" in jest. I'd like to be in contact with her some day, ideally. We shared a lot and it losing all of that after all the time we spent together would seem like a waste, when compared to being able to enjoy our time together and integrating our past experiences into our new, platonic relationship. It's idealistic thinking, but it's something to strive for at least.
If you keep running into her on campus, you just might have to bury her underneath a log.
"There is at least as much need to curb the cruel greed and arrogance of part of the world of capital, to curb the cruel greed and violence of part of the world of labor, as to check a cruel and unhealthy militarism in international relationships." -Theodore Roosevelt
I'm dating an older woman. She digs that I'm not stupid. I like her ass and legs. She likes that I'm more mature than her ex boyfriends. I like that she wakes me up with her mouth. How do I keep it casual when she eventually brings up settling down / getting serious / annihilating casual relations?
Also, we have many shared interests and can hold conversations for hours. There's just no way I can see myself investing much into this, which I hate to admit because I know she'll end up getting hurt. We're at different stages in life. She's a graduate with a career and I'm a poor college student. She realizes the inevitability of our doom, yet comes back for more every time. The chemistry is big, but the future is bleak.
It's hard to say this without sounding corny, but if you love her age doesn't matter as long as it's within reason (which it sounds like you are). I dated an older woman for a couple of weeks once. I was 24 and she was 36. She was the very definition of MILF. I didn't break up with her because of the age thing, it was because she was a smoker. Also, she wanted to pee in my mouth.
Keverian FireCry wrote:So...I skipped a bit through this thread...but aside from the imagined infidelity and your own insecurities, what did this woman do to you to morph from someone you were in love with into a ~'complete ho bitch that you could care less about'?
edit: I'd just like to thank Firefox's spell-checker for correcting my entry of "hobitch" to "ho bitch".
You mean we don't have a VV filter for OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEHOBITCHISTWOWORDS?
I let my wife read your post for her thoughts and she said something like this:
"Physical attraction and sex are the easiest part of a relationship. If he found a woman that he connects to on a whole other level, then he owes it to himself to run with it since that is usually the hardest part."
She also thinks you may be a bit naive thinking that the woman will be the one who ends up getting hurt.
Fairweather Pure wrote:I let my wife read your post for her thoughts and she said something like this:
"Physical attraction and sex are the easiest part of a relationship. If he found a woman that he connects to on a whole other level, then he owes it to himself to run with it since that is usually the hardest part."
She also thinks you may be a bit naive thinking that the woman will be the one who ends up getting hurt.
I say that because she's really happy with our connection. The only bottleneck in our relationship is my willingness to commit.
As long as you are honest with her about what you want and don't want out of the relationship, the choice is hers what to do about it. Most relationships end simply because the two people involved want different things. It's just a fact of life and no ones fault as long as you are honest. The only way you can really "hurt" her is by stringing her along. And for the record, stringing someone along DOES include silence on the issue.
Lalanae Burundi High Chancellor for Tourism, Sodomy and Pie
Unofficial Canadian, Forbidden Lover of Pie, Jesus-Hatin'' Sodomite, President of KFC (Kyoukan Fan Club), hawt, perververted, intellectual submissive with E.S.P (Extra Sexual Persuasion)
How can I talk to a great girl for hours on end, meet up with her, take her out and be civil, make her laugh for hours on end, make out with her, have a great night, drive home with all my favorite songs coursing through my veins and my eardrums, talk to her a day or two later and find out she's not interested? What is it about technology, the loss of attention spans, and women that FUCKS with all that is good? Why do girls let friends' input get in their heads? Why is finding any reason to not be happy always the better option than simply being happy? Why can't it just be simple?
I wish I'd been born in Roman times so I could just head home from a day of watching people kill each other to the nightly orgy awaiting me in my living room. I wish it wasn't so easy to say exactly what I want to say in a text message. I wish text messaging didn't exist. I wish facebook and any social-spotlight websites were exposed for the romance-ruiners that they are. And I wish that re-reading this thread every time I post to it still makes me laugh several years from now.
Guess she's just not that in to you. Move on to the next, avoid going to Gym dance classes with loaded weapons. I don't really have a rational answer, other than the classical... plenty of fish in the sea phrase.
Just because it seemed like a great evening to you doesn't mean it was the same to her.
I've been with my girlfriend just over a year, and it's become something I'm not happy with. It's hard trying to break up with someone who is so attached that she doesn't want to spend a minute apart, when that is a big reason that I'm not happy. I'm just distraught over having to break up and going through what I expect will be the worst emotional pain I've ever inflicted or seen.
Fairweather Pure wrote:I hear ya Fash. However, it is much better to be the breaker upper than the one getting dumped! It's never easy though. Do it quick like a band-aid!
Psyloche wrote:Guess she's just not that in to you. Move on to the next, avoid going to Gym dance classes with loaded weapons. I don't really have a rational answer, other than the classical... plenty of fish in the sea phrase.
Just because it seemed like a great evening to you doesn't mean it was the same to her.
Now she's blowing up my phone with texts. Seems like she wants to be just friends, or just platonic make out buddies?!?! HA!
Fash, whatever you do, just don't slowly ease away. She'll smell that from a mile away. If you like her and seeing her all the time is the problem, just say that you want a few days off a week so that you appreciate the time you're with her even more. If she takes this the wrong way, tell her to bugger off and learn some respect!
Leonaerd wrote:Now she's blowing up my phone with texts. Seems like she wants to be just friends, or just platonic make out buddies?!?! HA!
Fash, whatever you do, just don't slowly ease away. She'll smell that from a mile away. If you like her and seeing her all the time is the problem, just say that you want a few days off a week so that you appreciate the time you're with her even more. If she takes this the wrong way, tell her to bugger off and learn some respect!
You're just out of college or was I reading somebody else's post? Go find another girl, keep this one the side incase she ever realizes you're somebody she should have slept with instead of just made out with.
One more note, don't stick your dick in crazy -- although not exactly knowing what she wants isn't crazy... I'd much rather go after somebody who was more straight forward.
Psyloche wrote:One more note, don't stick your dick in crazy -- although not exactly knowing what she wants isn't crazy... I'd much rather go after somebody who was more straight forward.
Nothing wrong with crazy people, just make sure you keep them at arms length and don't get sucked into the crazy. Keep firmly in mind that you can't "fix" them. Someone who's apeshit today will quite likely be the same way or worse in a year or 5.
Most of my girlfriends were absolutely bonkers, fun times
"Life is what happens while you're making plans for later."
Everybody is at least a little crazy. However, I have dated some real doozies. Then again, I should really try to date women that are at least on the back end of their 20s. Has 26 become the new 18? Sheesh!
Leonaerd wrote:I'm dating an older woman. She digs that I'm not stupid. I like her ass and legs. She likes that I'm more mature than her ex boyfriends.
May 2003 - "Mission Accomplished"
June 2005 - "The mission isn't easy, and it will not be accomplished overnight"
-- G W Bush, freelance writer for The Daily Show.
