Fuck Women

[Leonaerd]

Seriously.


Goddamn it.

[miir]

Fuck Women

I'll get right on it!

[Chidoro]

ACK!

I don't leave work for another 6ish hours!

I promise to fuck my woman this evening just to put your mind at ease.

[Leonaerd]

lol

[Raistin]

Sounds like someone was fucking yours on the side. If you live by the rule
"You're just keeping it warm for the next guy." you will live stress free!

[Leonaerd]

I've been dating my girlfriend, "Jane," for three months as of Tuesday.

I had an itchy rash recently, and I passed it on to her through contact.

Her ex boyfriend of two years, "Joe," made a new Livejournal post today.

Oh No!

Something is terribly wrong.

I was awaken this morning by my face itching really bad.

I've been up for a few hours now. My face, arms, legs, and other parts of my body, have become red and there is a bit of swelling.

I think I might die.

I Itch Soooooooooooooo Bad!!!!!!!!!!!




I think it might have something to do with walking on water yesterday.

A few things to note:

-He knows I read his LJ and he hates me, and he would certainly say that to piss me off. He's pulled a knife on me before, tried to punch me a different time, and has made admittedly impressive attempts to oust me from Jane's life.
-Jane told me yesterday that she's been talking to him on the phone a lot recently, and that she wants to play tennis with him (she had promised me that she would never see him again two months ago, and has so far kept that promise). We resolved that "argument" appropriately (it ended with her saying she didn't want to see him because of the way the mere suggestion hurt me).
-Jane and I are very happy together except for this issue. We connect on all the right levels (including some levels that Joe and she never did [yes it means what you think it means]),and I would like to think what we have is genuinely as good as it seems.

Input please. She's at work until 4 (4 hours from this post) and I'm going ridiculously crazy. When I talk to her later today, what do I say? She hasn't seen his LJ update yet, so what do I say to her and how do I do it?

[Zamtuk]

fuckin a man i got a rash.

[Xouqoa]

Sounds like someone was fucking yours on the side. If you live by the rule
"You're just keeping it warm for the next guy." you will live stress free!

QFT

[miir]

I've been dating my girlfriend, "Jane," for three months as of Tuesday.

I had an itchy rash recently, and I passed it on to her through contact.

Her ex boyfriend of two years, "Joe," made a new Livejournal post today.

Oh No!

Something is terribly wrong.

I was awaken this morning by my face itching really bad.

I've been up for a few hours now. My face, arms, legs, and other parts of my body, have become red and there is a bit of swelling.

I think I might die.

I Itch Soooooooooooooo Bad!!!!!!!!!!!




I think it might have something to do with walking on water yesterday.

A few things to note:

-He knows I read his LJ and he hates me, and he would certainly say that to piss me off. He's pulled a knife on me before, tried to punch me a different time, and has made admittedly impressive attempts to oust me from Jane's life.
-Jane told me yesterday that she's been talking to him on the phone a lot recently, and that she wants to play tennis with him (she had promised me that she would never see him again two months ago, and has so far kept that promise). We resolved that "argument" appropriately (it ended with her saying she didn't want to see him because of the way the mere suggestion hurt me).
-Jane and I are very happy together except for this issue. We connect on all the right levels (including some levels that Joe and she never did [yes it means what you think it means]),and I would like to think what we have is genuinely as good as it seems.

Input please. She's at work until 4 (4 hours from this post) and I'm going ridiculously crazy. When I talk to her later today, what do I say? She hasn't seen his LJ update yet, so what do I say to her and how do I do it?

Did she fuck around with you while she was still going out with him?

[Leonaerd]

No. She's never cheated on anybody and is very honest about stuff like that. She used to tell Joe whenever she would almost cheat on him.

[miir]

No. She's never cheated on anybody and is very honest about stuff like that. She used to tell Joe whenever she would almost cheat on him.

So she lied to you about it.
Gotcha.

[Leonaerd]

Bah wtf I know that's not it. If I squeeze hard enough, I can get anything out of her. I just need to know how to bring this up to her so that I know she's not lying.

[Leonaerd]

FUCK. I don't want to think she's cheating on me. FUCK!

[miir]

If I squeeze hard enough, I can get anything out of her.

Ewww..

[noel]

If you even have to worry about this kind of shit, you're in the wrong relationship. Just go beat the living shit out of him and then break up with her. No motherfucker would pull a knife on me without eating it.

[Leonaerd]

some internet funny stuff instead of posting a thoughtful response to a guy in need. Damn him!

[Leonaerd]

That's what I keep thinking... that I shouldn't even have to worry about this bullshit. But what if it's not bullshit? What if he is making that stuff up? If I break up with her over that, then his plan is complete and I'm out of a relationship with a wonderful person.

[Xouqoa]

If you even have to worry about this kind of shit, you're in the wrong relationship.

I agree. If you really have to worry about that sort of thing, it's bad news anyway. She should at least have the courage to break up with you first before fucking somebody else.

That said, don't sweat it. I mean, you're 19. There are like 2.3 billion females on the planet. The odds are definitely in your favor.

[Leonaerd]

My concern is that "that sort of thing" isn't even an issue. If she's not fucking him, then I'm completely off base and if I break up with her for something she didn't do, I'd be certifiably paranoid.

[noel]

That's what I keep thinking... that I shouldn't even have to worry about this bullshit. But what if it's not bullshit? What if he is making that stuff up? If I break up with her over that, then his plan is complete and I'm out of a relationship with a wonderful person.

You told us that she wanted to play tennis with him, and whatever.

Look man, there's two sides to this. There's the you side and the her side. On the you side, you need to be comfortable enough to trust her out and about with any guy without worrying 'what's going on', because you trust her. On her side, she needs to be be cognizant enough of your feelings to not put herself in situations that make you uncomfortable. Very clearly you don't have that in your relationship on either side and therefore this is the wrong relationship.

[Morgrym]

If you value your relationship with her one bit...

Don't push the issue! You have no proof without seeing this "rash" that the other guy has and comparing it to yours. Chances are he somehow knows about the rash and is trying to drive a wedge of male ego in there. Don't fall for the bait and wait for hard evidence.

[Xouqoa]

My concern is that "that sort of thing" isn't even an issue. If she's not fucking him, then I'm completely off base and if I break up with her for something she didn't do, I'd be certifiably paranoid.

Well, you could always go find the other guy and see if he really has a rash. If so, I wager you'd get your answer.

You've only been seeing her for three months you said? I'm not sure your "instincts" are quite in tune after that period of time. But personally speaking from past experience, you can normally tell when things are beginning to go wrong. Don't ignore it. Address it before it becomes a relationship breaking problem. Sometimes you can correct it, and sometimes not. But it's better to confront the problem than to silently hope it goes away. (It usually won't.)

/Dr. Phil off

[Leonaerd]

That's what I keep thinking... that I shouldn't even have to worry about this bullshit. But what if it's not bullshit? What if he is making that stuff up? If I break up with her over that, then his plan is complete and I'm out of a relationship with a wonderful person.

You told us that she wanted to play tennis with him, and whatever.

Look man, there's two sides to this. There's the you side and the her side. On the you side, you need to be comfortable enough to trust her out and about with any guy. On her side, she needs to be be cognizant enough of your feelings to not put herself in situations that make you uncomfortable. Very clearly you don't have that in your relationship on either side and therefore this is the wrong relationship.

That statement looks so damn true and so reasonable.

If you value your relationship with her one bit...

Don't push the issue! You have no proof without seeing this "rash" that the other guy has and comparing it to yours. Chances are he somehow knows about the rash and is trying to drive a wedge of male ego in there. Don't fall for the bait and wait for hard evidence.

looks equally true and reasonable.

I'm fucking torn and it sucks.

[noel]

I agree he shouldn't really push the issue without truth, but there's a big underlying problem in his relationship if some lack of faith, be it verbal, or oral or whatever is the first thing that pops into his mind when he reads this guy's bullshit.

[Leonaerd]

Address it before it becomes a relationship breaking problem. Sometimes you can correct it, and sometimes not. But it's better to confront the problem than to silently hope it goes away.

I plan on it, I just am not sure if I can bring it up and be sure she's not lying. She's incredibly intelligent and would probably see an interrogation coming from a mile away.

That said, I don't like that I should even need to worry about HOW to "interrogate" her. I feel like I should do something drastic about this, but if "this" doesn't even exist, then I'm a stupid sucker and should die!

[Leonaerd]

I agree he shouldn't really push the issue without truth, but there's a big underlying problem in his relationship if some lack of faith, be it verbal, or oral or whatever is the first thing that pops into his mind when he reads this guy's bullshit.

It's not so much a lack of faith as it is a rerun. Like I said, he's pulled stunts like this before, and this one is no different.

What's different is that she and I had a "discussion" yesterday about how she wanted to play tennis with him. That's abnormal and that's why I'm fucking off my rocker.

[Morgrym]

Just relax and act like you suspect nothing. If there is nothing to worry about and she catches wind that you are up to somthing....it's over. She will feel that you can never trust her and other psychological mumbojumbo.

The only safe thing to do is to see the other rash for yourself before it goes away and compare the two. The only person that needs to know you don't trust her is you.

Don't live by "what if (s)" it will drive you insane.

[miir]

some internet funny stuff instead of posting a thoughtful response to a guy in need. Damn him!

I haven't had to worry about a relationship with a woman in over 10 years... I'm afraid there's not much advice I could offer.

[Leonaerd]

What will probably happen is:

I will confront her at 4 PM EST when she gets out of work, and she will promise on all things that she didn't see him. I will then say that I am sick and tired of incessently worrying about his impedance in our lives, and am requesting that she cease contact with him. Should she say "No," I'll start the "I'm breaking up with you" topic, and depending how that goes, I may or may not have a girlfriend tonight.

On the other hand, if she says that she was seeing him, I'll know I can trust her. If she says they didn't do anything cheat-esque (such as... he just showed up at her dorm randomly and she had to push him away), I will believe her and all will be as close to "great" as I see possible.

What do you think?

[Morgrym]

I think if you go down that road, you are single.

There is only one way around it and I gave it to you already.

[Leonaerd]

Just relax and act like you suspect nothing. If there is nothing to worry about and she catches wind that you are up to somthing....it's over. She will feel that you can never trust her and other psychological mumbojumbo.

That's the thing... she knows that my paranoia is partially justified, because of how fucking loopy this jackass of an ex-boyfriend is. She would most certainly -not- break up with me if I brought it up.

The only safe thing to do is to see the other rash for yourself before it goes away and compare the two. The only person that needs to know you don't trust her is you.

Don't live by "what if (s)" it will drive you insane.

I can't exactly see this guy. I don't know where he lives, I don't know his schedules. More importantly: if I -did- go out of my way to look for a rash, he would know that his shenanigans are working and he'll just do them more often.

[Morgrym]

Sounds like you are in a lose / lose situation then.

Cut your losses now and look for a new girlfriend because you will never, ever trust this one and things will only get worse.

[noel]

I think you're 19 years old and you're better off single anyway. All of this added drama is completely unecessary. The fact that you're trolling some dude's livejournal is unecessary. Just based on what you've said, I think it's worth your while to back the fuck away from all of this and keep your dignity.

[Leonaerd]

I think you're 19 years old and you're better off single anyway. All of this added drama is completely unecessary. The fact that you're trolling some dude's livejournal is unecessary. Just based on what you've said, I think it's worth your while to back the fuck away from all of this and keep your dignity.

It sounds so easy on a message board, but it's much tougher when there are deep feelings involved.

[Morgrym]

I think you're 19 years old and you're better off single anyway. All of this added drama is completely unecessary. The fact that you're trolling some dude's livejournal is unecessary. Just based on what you've said, I think it's worth your while to back the fuck away from all of this and keep your dignity.

I agree. In retrospect, you are coming across like a creepy stalker guy. Don't worry about a "girlfriend" until you are out of college unless you find "the one" before that. And, trust me, this "Jane" is not the one.

[Leonaerd]

Sigh, I hope you guys are wrong.

Fuck women.

[noel]

I think you're 19 years old and you're better off single anyway. All of this added drama is completely unecessary. The fact that you're trolling some dude's livejournal is unecessary. Just based on what you've said, I think it's worth your while to back the fuck away from all of this and keep your dignity.

It sounds so easy on a message board, but it's much tougher when there are deep feelings involved.

I know exactly how tough it is. I wasn't always happily married.

Your problem is you're too caught up to see the forest from the trees. It's extremely difficult to get any perspective when you're in a relationship and you have the deep feelings. It was for me, and it has been for my friends who've been in similar situations. I don't fault you at all for feeling the way you do, but just based on what you've told us so far today, the *best* thing for you to do is get the fuck out of Dodge, worry about yourself for a while, and meet some new people.

[Leonaerd]

I think you're 19 years old and you're better off single anyway. All of this added drama is completely unecessary. The fact that you're trolling some dude's livejournal is unecessary. Just based on what you've said, I think it's worth your while to back the fuck away from all of this and keep your dignity.

It sounds so easy on a message board, but it's much tougher when there are deep feelings involved.

I know exactly how tough it is. I wasn't always happily married.

Your problem is you're too caught up to see the forest from the trees. It's extremely difficult to get any perspective when you're in a relationship and you have the deep feelings. It was for me, and it has been for my friends who've been in similar situations. I don't fault you at all for feeling the way you do, but just based on what you've told us so far today, the *best* thing for you to do is get the fuck out of Dodge, worry about yourself for a while, and meet some new people.

I know that's my problem but it's inescapable. However, there are intangibles here that I couldn't possibly express on a message board, and those, along with my deep feelings, are keeping me in this at least until motherfucking 4 PM.

[Xouqoa]

I know that's my problem but it's inescapable. However, there are intangibles here that I couldn't possibly express on a message board, and those, along with my deep feelings, are keeping me in this at least until motherfucking 4 PM.

Don't worry. Yes, you will have sex again at some point in your life.

See, that wasn't so hard.

[Leonaerd]

I know that's my problem but it's inescapable. However, there are intangibles here that I couldn't possibly express on a message board, and those, along with my deep feelings, are keeping me in this at least until motherfucking 4 PM.

Don't worry. Yes, you will have sex again at some point in your life.

See, that wasn't so hard.

Har har. I'm not worried about losing my warm source of male satisfaction. I go to motherfucking MSU and any twat here could get sex within 30 minutes.

[Morgrym]

<got an error when I hit reply to this>

Anyway, it's a done deal man. This relationship is bust and your feelings don't matter. If you honestly cared that much, you would not confront her at all and would accept the fact (true or not) that this dick is just messing with you and she is faithful. A few weeks from now, you can approach the "removing him from our lives" topic. Until then, it should be ops normal.

If you do indeed care and are beyone your male ego on this; instead of making her day hell with your discussion at 4, go buy her some flowers or a stuffed animal. Be there when she gets home, or better yet, to her car. Let her know you love her and that should be the end of it.

That is, of course, assuming that you are beyond your male ego.

[Leonaerd]

Ok. That has holes in it but it's what I'm going to do.

Big thanks to all of you for talking about this with me.

[Xyphir]

Why does Jane want to play tennis with someone who has pulled a knife on you?

Sounds like a no-brainer to me. I'm sure he has some redeeming qualities, and perhaps you're no catch either. I don't think we're getting the full story on the knife incident, but Jane is obviously not interested in keeping this guy out of her life despite the anguish it causes you.

Try to remain civil. Don't make an ass of yourself. Find someone else who won't fuck with your head.

[Leonaerd]

Fuck. It does sound like a no-brainer.

but Jane is obviously not interested in keeping this guy out of her life despite the anguish it causes you.

She dated him for two full years. He was her only other significant boyfriend. She promised to never -see- him again. I did not prompt that promise; she did it on her own. She -had- withdrawls to simply hang out with him. We were talking about insecurities recently and she said her relationship with me is one of the few things she's entirely secure about. I know that I would devastate her if I broke up with her, and that's why I think she's still in it for me. If she was really out banging this guy, I don't think it would seem as if she'd be devastated.

After we resolved the "I want to play tennis with him" conversation (resolution was that she felt like shit after seeing how the suggestion made me feel), all was great.

And now it's not a no-brainer anymore.

[Morgrym]

If she went out with him for 2 years and is the same age as you. Chances are she was not umm pure when the two of you started dating. Furthermore, he was probably her first. These things bind a woman up on so many emotional levels that us guys just don't even begin to understand. She will always have an attachment to him because of that. Accept it and move on. She, likewise, was probably his first. Due to that, his ego is both inflated and bruised and you are the direct result. The kid is doing nothing more than getting your ire up so he can "win". You have only been with "Jane" for 3 months, but, that's probably long enough for you to have tasted the selection and decide that you like it. That much is obvious.

Again, it comes down to just how mature you are or are willing to become. Look beyond the male ego and carry on.

Of course, if you indeed find out later that she has deceived you. Don't get mad, and remember to get even before you cut her off

[Winnow]

What would Furor do in this situation?

[Leonaerd]

Chances are she was not umm pure when the two of you started dating. Furthermore, he was probably her first.

I know enough about anatomy to know he was definitely, certainly, 100% not her first, which renders your first paragraph useless.

Of course, if you indeed find out later that she has deceived you. Don't get mad, and remember to get even before you cut her off

I don't cheat.

I'm starting to side with Noel on this one. It almost isn't even worth it to have the conversation. My trust is tarnished, and I don't know if I feel like finding out whether or not it will remain intact.

[Leonaerd]

What would Furor do in this situation?

Curse a lot and sellout.

Break up and have rebound sex?

Winnow for the metaphor win!!

[Sirensa]

Dump her.

Clearly she's put her relationship (even if non-sexual) with asshole-guy above her relationship with you.

Find someone better. But get rid of the rash first. I hope its not herpes!

[Morgrym]

Quit flip flopping then. Damn, are you planning a career in politics? I never said for you to cheat, I just said to get even, your mind put cheat in there. Obviously you are not mature enough for a real relationship. Walk away before you hurt yourself.

And if you think for one minute that after two years he was not her first, and you managed to get in there in under three months you are dumber than everyone here thinks.

wtf are you doing asking for advice on VV for anyway? Don't you have any friends that actually know you and her and possibly him that could offer more sound advice?