Jesus - a bad leader

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Drolgin Steingrinder
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Jesus - a bad leader

Post by Drolgin Steingrinder »

According to the Swedish magazine 'Chef' ('Chef' means boss - it's not a culinary publication), had Jesus been an executive today, he wouldn't have been remembered for the good things.
Jesus was a weak personnel administrator:
Already before Judas became one of Christ's disciples, Jesus felt that he would create problems. He was still hired.

Jesus was a workaholic:
Today he would have suffered from stress. He drove his mid-level exec group - the twelve disciples - hard, but worked even harder himself.

Jesus was a chauvinist:

He was the leader of a strictly male workplace. Something that would definiately have been considered discriminatory today.

Jesus was ambiguous:

'Chef' magazine feels that many hundreds of years of religious conflicts could have been avoided had Jesus skipped the imagery and clearly expressed what he felt.

Jesus was moody:

'Chef' considers Jesus one of the most temperamental executives known to history. When he got angry you did not want to stand in the way.

Jesus lacked company loyalty:

His parting was unexpected. Jesus stepped down without properly warning his employees about his resignation.

Jesus was inconsquent:

At first he was convinced that his calling only applied to jews, but he later realized that the messaged had to be globalized, and so the businessplan was changed.

Jesus lacked fiscal overview:

He did not have his tax forms under control. Constantly he was tormented by tax officials.

Jesus left his family:

He's not the only one who's struggled with combining career and family, but on one occassion he even denounced his own mother in public.

Jesus lacked a strategy for the future:

He abandoned his disciples without leaving a strategy detailing how to implement the international expansion.


(my crappy translation, taken from http://ekstrabladet.dk/VisArtikel.iasp?PageID=309627 - a danish newspaper)
IT'S HARD TO PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT; SOMETHING IS WRONG
I'M LIKE THE UNCLE WHO HUGGED YOU A LITTLE TOO LONG
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Post by Arborealus »

Yeah but his water to wine trick was great on casual fridays...
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Post by Tangurena »

If Jesus were running for office, we'd see ads like:
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Post by Winnow »

I'd vote for Bush over some delusional dude that thought he was the son of god anyday.
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Post by Aslanna »

Winnow wrote:I'd vote for Bush over some delusional dude that thought he was the son of god anyday.
So you're voting Bush either way?
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Post by Winnow »

Aslanna wrote:
Winnow wrote:I'd vote for Bush over some delusional dude that thought he was the son of god anyday.
So you're voting Bush either way?
Bush is grouped in with all the other yahoos that believe in jesus, some sort of god and all the hoopla that goes with it. That's still at least one step below totally losing your grip and thinking you're actually a part of the scam like Hey-soos did back in the day of sandals and tall tales.

There's no chance of an atheist becoming president. People talk about gays being oppressed, think of all the politicians that have to fake believing in fairytales to get elected. I'd like just once for a second term president to come out and admit they were an unbeliever. Polls on this board show 50% of its members are atheist or at most agnostic. You know damn well there's a percentage of politicians close to that but, like most things, they have to lie about it to win an election.
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Post by Canelek »

Makes sense to a certain point when you take a look at a cross section of Americans and their beliefs. Hey, if it would help me win an office, I would show up at church once a week... a small price to pay for getting all that power and monies.

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Post by Funkmasterr »

Jesus was a fucking looney. I would place him in the same category I put Jim Jones (I think thats the poison kool aid guy, right ? )

Anyways, like I said. He was a looney that got a shit load of people to believe what his crazy ass was saying. He was so effective at doing this that a bunch of guys for years and years afterwards wrote books about the lies and exxagerations Jewsus spewed out of his pie hole.

Then even more years later, all these loonies books got compiled into one big book, which the government later used to control the masses of the sheep.. I mean people that inherited the earth. And Nowadays this is still true.

Man I wish I could be there to see the expressions on peoples faces when they find out there is no jesus, no god, no afterlife, and that when they die their body is just going to fucking rot in the pine box they were buried in.
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Post by Canelek »

Funkmasterr wrote:Jesus was a fucking looney. I would place him in the same category I put Jim Jones (I think thats the poison kool aid guy, right ? )

Anyways, like I said. He was a looney that got a shit load of people to believe what his crazy ass was saying. He was so effective at doing this that a bunch of guys for years and years afterwards wrote books about the lies and exxagerations Jewsus spewed out of his pie hole.

Then even more years later, all these loonies books got compiled into one big book, which the government later used to control the masses of the sheep.. I mean people that inherited the earth. And Nowadays this is still true.

Man I wish I could be there to see the expressions on peoples faces when they find out there is no jesus, no god, no afterlife, and that when they die their body is just going to fucking rot in the pine box they were buried in.
Pine is so 80s....

also, way to continue your hatred of everyone that is not some crazed spitting-neo-nazi. wtg you!
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Post by Funkmasterr »

Neo Nazi?

Way to go you for regurgitating the same recycled shit that dozens have before you in attempt to get a rise out of me.

The fact is that organized religion is for weak pathetic people. I am in no way racist, or prejudice at all, nor do I have an issue with people having their own personal beliefs. But organized religion should be a criminal offense.
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Post by Dregor Thule »

Funkmasterr wrote:nor do I have an issue with people having their own personal beliefs. But organized religion should be a criminal offense.
So I hit quote, cut it down to this statement, all ready to make some witty reply, and found myself dumbfounded. I am speechless. You have rendered me unable to speak with the volume of stupid drivel you're posting lately.
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Post by Funkmasterr »

How is that drivel?

There is a far cry of a difference between having faith (even if god doesn't exist) and needing a church to tell you what day of the week to eat meat on.

Have your faith, live a good life, and if you are right then you should be fine. But you don't need a church or a priest or pastor or whatever else to dictate these to you.
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Post by Sabek »

Funkmasterr wrote: Man I wish I could be there to see the expressions on peoples faces when they find out there is no jesus, no god, no afterlife, and that when they die their body is just going to fucking rot in the pine box they were buried in.
Same could be said for narrow-minded people such as yourself that find just the opposite.
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Post by Sabek »

Funkmasterr wrote:There is a far cry of a difference between having faith (even if god doesn't exist) and needing a church to tell you what day of the week to eat meat on.
Hmm I have never had a leader/member/pastor of my church tell me when to eat anything.

So is it just Catholics you hate or all Christians?
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Post by Funkmasterr »

That was just an example, and is far from the only thing religions tell you how to do.

As to your comment on your first post. Great, if I go my whole life and go to hell because I didn't follow christianities silly rules, thats fine with me. I would rather go through life the way I want to and have that happen, then have any of even my most minute decisions regulated by the church and find out after a life of blind faith that it was for nothing.

You know what entertains me the most to think about ? How many different religions think everyone who doesn't believe their religion is right is going to hell ? I can think of at least 2. Then you have the Jews who don't believe there is a hell, so my question to the chrisitans that think people are going to hell that don't believe in god and the man jesus would be this;

How is a Jewish person going to go to a place THEIR religion doesn't believe exists becaue YOUR religion says so. Same thing for non believers, I don't believe in a heaven or hell, so why would I be worried about going there ?


What religion is right? if any of them are right then a lot of other people are fucked. I guess thats what blind faith is all about though, right?
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Post by Sabek »

Funkmasterr wrote:As to your comment on your first post. Great, if I go my whole life and go to hell because I didn't follow christianities silly rules, thats fine with me. I would rather go through life the way I want to and have that happen, then have any of even my most minute decisions regulated by the church and find out after a life of blind faith that it was for nothing.
You want to know whats funny. There is really only one "rule" you have to believe in and follow. You have believe that Christ died for your sins and that God raised him dead. That's it. That's the whole ticket to Heaven. There are other rules that you can follow that make the relationship better, but the only hard fast rule of Christianity is the one above.
Funkmasterr wrote:You know what entertains me the most to think about ? How many different religions think everyone who doesn't believe their religion is right is going to hell ? I can think of at least 2. Then you have the Jews who don't believe there is a hell, so my question to the chrisitans that think people are going to hell that don't believe in god and the man jesus would be this;

How is a Jewish person going to go to a place THEIR religion doesn't believe exists becaue YOUR religion says so. Same thing for non believers, I don't believe in a heaven or hell, so why would I be worried about going there ?


What religion is right? if any of them are right then a lot of other people are fucked. I guess thats what blind faith is all about though, right?
I don't profess to understand the special role that God has for the Isrealites. But considering God has been protecting them since they were formed and he told them that they would always be his people, I am sure he has a special purpose for them.
I know what Christianity entails. I do however find it hard to believe that God doesn't have a plan for the Jewish people.
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Post by Nick »

Well said Dregor.

Take a look at what he quoted Funkmaster, you're a fucking hypocrite of the most blatantly retarded order.
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Post by Funkmasterr »

Last comment before I am done with this thread.

Nick, take a look at what he quoted again, and look at what I put in BOLD LETTERS.
nor do I have an issue with people having their own personal beliefs. But organized religion should be a criminal offense.
I think anyone that needs an organization to make them whole is weak, and there is no place on this planet for weak people.
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Post by Zaelath »

But apparently we have vast continents reserved for stupid ones.
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Post by Nick »

Who is fit for this planet is not dictated by you, nor any of us, unless we want to be fucking assholes.
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Post by Wulfran »

Funkmasterr wrote:Jesus was a fucking looney. I would place him in the same category I put Jim Jones (I think thats the poison kool aid guy, right ? )
Your whole commentary on this thread is assinine but to me this one stood out. "Love thy neighbour" is the same as "I am God! Serve me and die!"? Your ignorance is truly sinking to new depths on each thread you post.
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Post by Atokal »

Funkmasterr wrote:Jesus was a fucking looney. I would place him in the same category I put Jim Jones (I think thats the poison kool aid guy, right ? )

Anyways, like I said. He was a looney that got a shit load of people to believe what his crazy ass was saying. He was so effective at doing this that a bunch of guys for years and years afterwards wrote books about the lies and exxagerations Jewsus spewed out of his pie hole.

Then even more years later, all these loonies books got compiled into one big book, which the government later used to control the masses of the sheep.. I mean people that inherited the earth. And Nowadays this is still true.

Man I wish I could be there to see the expressions on peoples faces when they find out there is no jesus, no god, no afterlife, and that when they die their body is just going to fucking rot in the pine box they were buried in.
Your last statement makes no sense at all, I will leave you to figure that one out.
Funkmasterr wrote:The fact is that organized religion is for weak pathetic people. I am in no way racist, or prejudice at all, nor do I have an issue with people having their own personal beliefs. But organized religion should be a criminal offense.
Again you show your profound stupidity. Like leaving you in a round room looking for a corner I will leave you in the kindergarten of your own mind to figure this out.

Why don't you leave the commentary to intelligent folks, and go beat up someone for looking at your car the wrong way.
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Post by Fairweather Pure »

Funk, you may not believe in Jesus, but he believes in you. He also thinks your kind of an asshole sometimes.
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Post by Bubba Grizz »

Funkmasterr wrote: Man I wish I could be there to see the expressions on peoples faces when they find out there is no jesus, no god, no afterlife, and that when they die their body is just going to fucking rot in the pine box they were buried in.
Ok now reverse it a bit. I bet they'd like to see your face when you find out that there really is a God and he is pissed at you. :twisted:
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Post by Fairweather Pure »

God and he is pissed at you.
Why would he be pissed?
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Post by cid »

I wish I was there on Funkmasterr's Judgement day.
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Post by Noysyrump »

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Kwon told me to do it.
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Post by Siji »

As has been said before, Religion != Faith.
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Post by Winnow »

I went to McDonalds for lunch today because it's the closest place to eat near the BofA I had to go to.

Ordered my Grilled Chicken Supreme meal and sat down for a nice peaceful meal...until I noticed that the Trinity channel was playing at high volume...

I was first treated to a commentary by Zig Ziglar. He informed me that we should not be afraid of terrorists because our fates are determined before we are born by Christ. That seems like one step away from strapping a bomb on and blowing yourself up because it was predetermined by your religion.

*stomach starts to churn a bit*

Next up was a religious song about how Jesus loves me performed live by a lady with a stiff poofy hair sprayed hairdo that looked like it might protect her head better than a Kevlar helmet.

*losing appetite at this point but a couple sat down next to me and provided some comedy relief as they made fun of the singer on TV*

The final segment I had to listen to was the begging for money part of the show...no, not for the refugees in New Orleans but to keep the station alive.

I'm pretty sure McDonalds didn't intentionally have this station on but I can tell you from the reactions of the customers that it wasn't good for business.
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Post by Siji »

Winnow wrote:I was first treated to a commentary by Zig Ziglar.
I first read this as Dirk Diggler and since you said is was on Trinity I ended up with iced tea all over my keyboard.

It would have been a better TV show at least..
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Post by Noysyrump »

Why do people get so Butthurt about beeing forced to see religion?

I'm an athiest. There is no god. but im not offended by a cross beeing up on a mountain top (current legal battle here in San Diego about the Mt. Soledad Memorial). Why would that show churn your stomach? I just dont get it... Bad TV is just bad TV.

Theres too much "I dont like it so you cant do it" goin on in our world now. Man what I wouldnt do to see that all go away, and let the people have there freedoms back... /sigh
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Post by Bubba Grizz »

Noysyrump wrote:Why do people get so Butthurt about beeing forced to see religion?

I'm an athiest. There is no god. but im not offended by a cross beeing up on a mountain top (current legal battle here in San Diego about the Mt. Soledad Memorial). Why would that show churn your stomach? I just dont get it... Bad TV is just bad TV.

Theres too much "I dont like it so you cant do it" goin on in our world now. Man what I wouldnt do to see that all go away, and let the people have there freedoms back... /sigh
Guilt. Maybe they can't stand being reminded of things that they should be doing but aren't. Maybe they are not as strong in their faith (and Athiest is a faith of sorts) as they thought they were or should be. Then again maybe they are just lapdogs of Satan and it physcially pains them to be around those items.
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Post by Winnow »

Noysyrump wrote:Why do people get so Butthurt about beeing forced to see religion?
I don't like to be forced to do anything. In this case I wasn't forced to be there or forced to watch but couldn't help but listen. Unless I wanted to go ask for a bag and take my lunch back to work, it was a little too late to leave and not worth taking the time to go pursue the manager to get the channel changed back to a news channel which it's normally on.

When I'm walking down a city street, I don't want to be bothered by some religious peddler. If I was looking for religion, I'd go to a church where I'd expect a religious assault by jesus freaks.

Organized religion is a waste of my time. I don't want to think about it and certainly don't want to be bothered by it while I'm taking a break from work at lunch. Religious peddling losers are so weak minded that they need to continuously try and reassure themselves by babbling on and on about scripture and other nonsense to the detriment of anyone within earshot.
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Post by Noysyrump »

Winnow wrote:
Noysyrump wrote:Why do people get so Butthurt about beeing forced to see religion?
I don't like to be forced to do anything. In this case I wasn't forced to be there or forced to watch but couldn't help but listen. Unless I wanted to go ask for a bag and take my lunch back to work, it was a little too late to leave and not worth taking the time to go pursue the manager to get the channel changed back to a news channel which it's normally on.

When I'm walking down a city street, I don't want to be bothered by some religious peddler. If I was looking for religion, I'd go to a church where I'd expect a religious assault by jesus freaks.

Organized religion is a waste of my time. I don't want to think about it and certainly don't want to be bothered by it while I'm taking a break from work at lunch. Religious peddling losers are so weak minded that they need to continuously try and reassure themselves by babbling on and on about scripture and other nonsense to the detriment of anyone within earshot.
Actually i dont belive its to anyone "detriment" more along the lines of your savior. =)

...and i really hate beeing pestered by those bastards with petitions at Fry's. Goddamn lets do away with that stupid voting crap, I dont wanna be bothered by it when im buyin computer games.. /geesh. :wink:
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Post by Fash »

Faith == Bullshit!
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Post by Fairweather Pure »

Why do people get so Butthurt about beeing forced to see religion?
It's all about challanging the status quo. Many Christian organizations consider themselves superior to others in terms of morality and basic moral principles. They feel that thier message/skew on religion should be displayed without question or afterthought. Hell, many consider it their sworn duty as soldiers of god. Worst of all, they believe in their heart of hearts that they are right, which by default makes everyone oppossed to them wrong or misguided.

Christians need to realize that they're exactely like the uneducated masses on some tropical island that worship the fish god. They are not high and mighty. They are not infallible. They are not privilaged. They are just like everyone else, and like it or not, they have to abide by the same rules. If they want to disply their message or signs of faith, we have to open the floodgates to all religions. Anything else is unjust and discriminatory. It's all extremely black and white. There's no room for debate. So, unless you want a statue of the fish god embossed in the Supreme Court right next to the 10 Commandments and the Koran, shut the fuck up and keep your religion where it belongs: in a goddamn church.

This is why we have a seperation of church and state. It protects christans as much as it protects the fish worshipors by not allowing a state sanctioned religion. Don't open those floodgates. It's a very slippery slope once you do.
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Post by Nick »

How many times do we need to rehash this stupid argument?

Guilt bubba? lol?

Believe in whatever the fuck type of crazy god you want, he can have purple skin naked with a cape with a dong on it for all I give a shit.

But when people start acting all "omg they feel guilty because they know they are wrong deep inside" when wondering why we are fed up listening to the endless whining about your best guess of what god is or wants, it just makes you, and therefore the other followers of your preferred religion look like a bunch of zealous fucking morons.

Of course that's a vast generalisation, but that's generally why people don't appreciate it being forced on them, because the people forcing it onto them act like dickheads.
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Post by Truant »

I think, for me anyways, it mostly has to do with the fact that Christians do not allow any individual or group to practice their religion other than hiding in their basement with the windows boarded up.

But Christians do it publically, all over...and call foul play if anyone says a word against it.

Christians cry persecution in this country...when more often than not, they are the ones persecuting. (we're not talking about torture and death, before some trigger happy retard decides to chime in)
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Post by Dregor Thule »

Bubba Grizz wrote:Guilt. Maybe they can't stand being reminded of things that they should be doing but aren't. Maybe they are not as strong in their faith (and Athiest is a faith of sorts) as they thought they were or should be. Then again maybe they are just lapdogs of Satan and it physcially pains them to be around those items.
I sure hope this was tongue in cheek, because I'm sure your God would be upset at your sinning multiple times a day in front of the computer.
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Post by landertime »

its cute the way everyone is so sure in this thread.

not one of us has all the answers, so why are some of us pretending to?
u just come off like a pretentious arsehole.

and please, dont let the bastards selling jesus to old ladies on tv become your only view of christians. they make any decent person (both christian and non) sick to the hilt.
"Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it"
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Metanis
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Post by Metanis »

Truant wrote:I think, for me anyways, it mostly has to do with the fact that Christians do not allow any individual or group to practice their religion other than hiding in their basement with the windows boarded up.

But Christians do it publically, all over...and call foul play if anyone says a word against it.

Christians cry persecution in this country...when more often than not, they are the ones persecuting. (we're not talking about torture and death, before some trigger happy retard decides to chime in)
Maybe I don't have the same sort of eyes and ears that you do.

Persecuting?

Where? When? How?

The standard definition of persecution is punishment or harassment usually of a severe nature

Where in the USA are Christians performing "severe" punishment or harassment? Where are we performing ANY punishment or harassment?
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Tenuvil
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Post by Tenuvil »

There's your trigger happy retard right on schedule.
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Post by Noysyrump »

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Canelek
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Post by Canelek »

Freedom of religion....that includes Christianity. Like it or not, that is the way it works folks. The christians may be out of whack in a general sense, but they have the right to be just as wacky as the other religions. Praise Hubert.

Now, I am unafilliated, as being atheist would imply some sense of belief in either 'faction'. However, I do have a few friends who have heavy faith in the christian religion... Sure, we get into arguments from time to time but I respect these people and do not judge them on their faith.

Point is, people bitch and moan about so many things in the news when all anyone really needs is a good handjob from a candystriper.
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Noysyrump
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Post by Noysyrump »

Now, I am unafilliated, as being atheist would imply some sense of belief in either 'faction'. However, I do have a few friends who have heavy faith in the christian religion... Sure, we get into arguments from time to time but I respect these people and do not judge them on their faith

Athiest = there is no god, religion is for silly people.
Agnostic = There may be a god, there may not be. I just dont worry about it.
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Post by Winnow »

Noysyrump wrote:
Athiest = there is no god, religion is for silly people.
Agnostic = There may be a god, there may not be. I just dont worry about it.
Athiest = Atheist (easy to screw up the ie/ei on that word)

Agnostic = hedgers

Hedger:

* Someone who counterbalances one thing against another in order to protect against loss

There needs to be one more belief category:

Asstasticism:

-don't know if there is a god/force
-don't know if there isn't
-not going to say there is just to cover myself

I'd lean toward being Asstastic if that was a category
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Post by Wonko Wenusberg »

Mussolini FTW!
cweeedit cwuunch
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