Jon Stewart distributes a Smackdown on Crossfire (CNN)

Post by **Xouqoa** » October 15, 2004, 10:09 pm

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/ ... cf.01.html

Funny stuff.

Krurk · Post by **Krurk** » October 15, 2004, 10:27 pm

Bit to rent video clip of the segment

http://bitflood.org:8080/?file=791b2f5d ... 1e73964185

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » October 15, 2004, 10:47 pm

http://www.ifilm.com/ads/asl/fullscreen ... id=2652831
for those who don't do the bit

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » October 15, 2004, 11:26 pm

What is really fucking sad is that anyone thinks he got smacked down. He said truthfully that CNN is a news organization and that their show is a farce with the playing the game of the far right and left line BS. That show is basically Midnyte and Kyoukan screaming at each other, there is no debate, there is only party lines. How dare both those morons smack him for not being serious news on a show that as he says is preceeded by puppets making crank calls.

Jon Stewart kissed Kerry's ass, but when you are a dinky little Comdey show you do that at times, but for anyone who watches the show regularly, you will see that it picks on both sides, and this transcript clearly indicates it is because Stewart thinks both parties are ass monkies.

Jon Stewart is RIGHT!

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » October 15, 2004, 11:45 pm

Its not that Stewart was kissing Kerry's ass, he was just being polite like he is towards ALL of his guests.

And yes, he does pick on both sides.

Post by **Sylvus** » October 16, 2004, 12:38 am

I don't think anyone was suggisting that Stewart got smacked down, rather that he was smacking down. Or did I misread that?

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » October 16, 2004, 1:01 am

I definitely saw it as Stewart doing the smackdown on the Crossfire jokers.

Animalor · Post by **Animalor** » October 16, 2004, 2:03 am

I hate that litte fucker with the bowtie.

Then again, anyone with a bowtie needs to be severely beaten.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 16, 2004, 2:28 am

Reading the transcript, it looks like there was definitely a smackdown, but it sure as hell wasn't Stewart that got it.

Xatrei · Post by **Xatrei** » October 16, 2004, 2:30 am

The transcript doesn't do it justice. Do yourselves a favor and get the video.

Markulas · Post by **Markulas** » October 16, 2004, 2:32 am

Jon Stewart and Bill Maher are some of the only people I see who routinely run circles around these type of commentators. But I haven't really read or watched that many of the shows, maybe there are more.

Mplor · Post by **Mplor** » October 16, 2004, 2:34 am

Jon Stewart for fucking president!

Rivera Bladestrike · Post by **Rivera Bladestrike** » October 16, 2004, 5:39 am

Mplor wrote:Jon Stewart for fucking president!

Amen, he could definately do it too... He's very smart on the issues and as well all know funny, charming, and likable to any audience.

a_guide · Post by **a_guide** » October 16, 2004, 7:02 am

I loved this:

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE.

We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority.

Jon, you're bumming us out. Tell us, what do you think about the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story?

STEWART: I'm sorry. I don't.

CARLSON: Oh, OK.

STEWART: What do you think?

BEGALA: Let me change the subject.

STEWART: Where's your moral outrage on this?

CARLSON: I don't have any.

STEWART: I know.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Xzion- · Post by **Xzion-** » October 16, 2004, 10:24 am

a_guide wrote:I loved this:
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE.

We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority.

Jon, you're bumming us out. Tell us, what do you think about the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story?

STEWART: I'm sorry. I don't.

CARLSON: Oh, OK.

STEWART: What do you think?

BEGALA: Let me change the subject.

STEWART: Where's your moral outrage on this?

CARLSON: I don't have any.

STEWART: I know.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

It was great hearing him make fun of Carlson for wearing a bowtie. For some guilty pleasure i kind of like that show. Carville does a good job as does begala sometimes, carlson comes off as more of a moderate thats pissed off the republicans elected bush and novak is just some old stubborn basterd

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » October 16, 2004, 11:46 am

Jon Stewart could be president, of course overcoming the Half Baked factor would be rough.

But in this country because of the people who think they are Christians, and he is a Jew it will never happen. Hell the moral majority types wigged out over Kennedy being Catholic, and now 40 years later Kerry is noted as one also. It would be bitter and ugly with everyone from Jedrry Falwell to the American nazis screaming ( and the difrference between Jewrry Falwall and the American Nazis is just a matter of uniform.

Rivera Bladestrike · Post by **Rivera Bladestrike** » October 16, 2004, 1:11 pm

I doubt people would care as much if he was jewish, just because of his likable attitude and most people wouldn't even know that he was jewish until told. Hell, I didn't. It wouldn't make any difference on my vote either.

As Jon Stewart no one would care, but I have trouble thinking that if he used his real name "Leibowitz" the red neck south would still look past it...

President Stewart yes, President Leibowitz no... it just would never happen.

Even though now it was legally changed, but the first person to mention that in an election would be branded an antisemite and rightfully so.

Post by **Xouqoa** » October 16, 2004, 1:56 pm

Perhaps the title was misleading, but I was intending for it to be known that Jon Stewart was the one doing all the smackdown... ing.

Rekaar. · Post by **Rekaar.** » October 16, 2004, 2:05 pm

I thought it was well known that Jon Stewart has political aspirations?

Kaldaur · Post by **Kaldaur** » October 16, 2004, 2:17 pm

Who wouldn't in his position? He is in an extremely well-off position. For some reason, his show is more popular than many others found in the political pundit corner, and it isn't even real news. Imagine what he could do as a political candidate. He was able to take the kid on crossfire to town, he's smart, funny, and knows how to push people's buttons for laughs or incite. He'd be a great candidate for office.

Rivera Bladestrike · Post by **Rivera Bladestrike** » October 16, 2004, 3:32 pm

I've heard it a lot that he had political aspirations, just haven't heard it from shows where he's on or anything, and seriously whats he waiting for? Hes almost 40, he could probably really pose a great appeal like another JFK in the next ten years as a young president.

Aaeamdar · Post by **Aaeamdar** » October 16, 2004, 3:53 pm

Him being a Jew is not relevant. Him being just a little less anti-religion than Bill Mahr is. All his opponent would have to do (assuming Stewart changed his tune for the election) is play one clip where he bashes Christians for doing what Christians do, and he'd be done.

Just look at Kerry. Do any of you believe that he attends services regularly? Yet in this campaign, he can't go more than a question or two in a debate without telling everyone how deeply spiritual he is (while similtaniously telling everyone how "private" or "personal" his faith is). Can you really see Stewart carrying on like that?

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » October 16, 2004, 4:06 pm

You all can disregard it as much as you like, the redneck south, the beer swilling union north, the liberal pansy ass west, and the ignorant steel mill east would all have a fit over him being jewish.

The fact that he has already shown himself more mentally fit than any president in living memory is moot next to the mentality of the average voter.

Aaeamdar · Post by **Aaeamdar** » October 16, 2004, 6:40 pm

Right. Which explains, of course, how Al Gore won the popular vote with a radical religious Jew as his running mate.

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » October 16, 2004, 7:25 pm

Aaeamdar wrote:Right. Which explains, of course, how Al Gore won the popular vote with a radical religious Jew as his running mate.

The Bush/Cheney ticket explained that perfectly, Lieberman probably hurt Gore more than helped.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » October 16, 2004, 11:24 pm

If Gore had chosen a different running mate, he may very well have been President. His own home state did not vote for him, which I would expect from Tenn.

BTW I got a decent video of the episode off BT, and was blown away by how perfectly he stated the facts, and they could not deal with it. It felt like reading Midnyte and Kyoukan going at it, with my internal dialog running with Jon Stewarts voice.

Aruman · Post by **Aruman** » October 17, 2004, 3:50 am

Kaldaur wrote:Who wouldn't in his position? He is in an extremely well-off position. For some reason, his show is more popular than many others found in the political pundit corner, and it isn't even real news. Imagine what he could do as a political candidate. He was able to take the kid on crossfire to town, he's smart, funny, and knows how to push people's buttons for laughs or incite. He'd be a great candidate for office.

I think Jon Stewart is popular because people are sick and tired of how politics are these days.

Humor takes your mind off all the negativity, from both sides. I'd prefer that candidates concentrate on the issues instead of trying to make each other look bad.

Yes, I would say Jon Stewart smacked them down pretty good. I got some laughs from watching that video link.

Lohrno · Post by **Lohrno** » October 17, 2004, 2:51 pm

That undoubtedly was one of the greatest moments in television.

-=Lohrno

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » October 18, 2004, 12:01 pm

says you

yeah he pretty much unloaded on Carlson and Begala, and took them by total surprise. Which frankly i think is the fault of the show's producer. I read that Stewart did a similar thing at a press breakfast during the DNC in Boston. Talant/Politicians will hold these "Breakfasts" with press where they will field some questions for 45 minutes, and it affords the interviewee the chance to generate some press for him/herself, and so forth.

Anyway Stewart ripped the magazines like Newsweek, etc at that. So a repeat performance should have been forseen especially since he calls Bob Novak a "douchebag" on The Daily Show (Novak is a host on crossfire).

Since my television at my desk is connected to the CNN 'in-house' feeds, i scrambled to find a couple of the live feeds from Washington DC piped into our building in Atlanta, which we then send out to the satellites that eventually get it to your service provider and your set. So anyway, on those feeds, there are no commercials (they are added into the breaks here in Atlanta before the feed leaves the building). ANd i found the feed, because I wanted to hear what Tucker and John were saying to each other during the breaks. I'm sure it wasnt swapping cookie recipies.

Unfortunately, i can't read lips for shit, and the show producer had the mikes cut during the breaks which they usually don't do. For instance, Wolf Blitzer Reports starts at 5pm, and i changed over to his feed and he was talking to his guest (some political analyst) about Stewart's comments, and it was pretty interesting.

Anyway, i think a show like Crossfire is legitimate to criticize, but i thought the manner in which Stewart chose to ambush them, when he was appearing to promote his book was in poor taste. As I have said before, i'm a huge fan of his, and i think he does do a good job of critiquing the media and political estalblishments. I thought he could have made a more compelling case coming on and actually engaging the conversation on the show's tactics instead of lecturing the hosts.

But yeah he didn't hold back =)

Wulfran · Post by **Wulfran** » October 18, 2004, 12:51 pm

Ambushing them? Promoting his book on a show that is supposed to be "political debate"?

They knew from their opening statements that he was not a fan of the show, so where is the ambush? I'll confess I don't watch Crossfire that often and for exactly the reason Stewart presented: they don't debate issues as much as they stick to party lines and attack the supporters as opposed to discussing pros and cons. How many forums do we need to know that the Democrats and Republicans hate each other?

I think he was clear, he wasn't aggressive and he made an extremely valid point. Carlsson going after him for not being a "reporter" on the Daily Show was amazing irony IMO.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 18, 2004, 12:56 pm

I think he would have come off a bit better (less antagonistic) if he'd been allowed to explain what it was about Crossfire that he didn't like, and how he thought they could improve. Instead they started attacking him and trying to be funny and cute. Sadly for them, they forgot which one of them was actually the comedian, and they lost.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » October 18, 2004, 2:32 pm

i dont know Wulf, Stewart did call Tucker Carlson a "dick".

which maybe he is, i don't know, but stewart came across as one himself, to me.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » October 18, 2004, 8:25 pm

Voronwe,

I am ashamed of the way you toe the company line here, Stewart owned the two morons CNN has on a lame distraction from real news, and you think Stewart is the dick.

I am waiting for CNN3 where they still show the news, like MTV3 plays the music.

Hoarmurath · Post by **Hoarmurath** » October 18, 2004, 10:21 pm

<a href="http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=s ... art">CNN's Tucker Carlson, Jon Stewart Feuding</a>

Summary: Man in colorful bowtie says comedian "looked ridiculous."

Toshira · Post by **Toshira** » October 18, 2004, 11:03 pm

Well, he did call him a dick after what, 11 minutes of being ridiculed and not listened to, with the Crossfire guys basically not even trying to comprehend the position that their show should be more direct. If you listen to the first 8 or so minutes, Stewart is actually extremely calm and sincere (which is one reason why it's so damn funny).

Truant · Post by **Truant** » October 19, 2004, 7:29 am

I just want to set the record straight. Tucker Carlson is, in fact, a dick.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » October 19, 2004, 11:27 am

Kylere wrote:Voronwe,

I am ashamed of the way you toe the company line here, Stewart owned the two morons CNN has on a lame distraction from real news, and you think Stewart is the dick.

I am waiting for CNN3 where they still show the news, like MTV3 plays the music.

i think i clearly stated that I believe "Crossfire" is a show that is legitimately a target for critique, and i also think many of Stewart's points were valid.

My contention was that I think it is unprofessional to go on somebody's television program to make money for yourself (promoting his book) and call them a "dick".

but if you think I'm wrong, that's fine. my take on this situation really isn't important =)

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » October 19, 2004, 11:28 am

Vor, when are they going to give you your own show? and when they do can I come be a guest sometime?

Marb

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » October 19, 2004, 11:30 am

I thought it was great. What other chance would Stewart have to make his point in such an obvious and powerful way? Making snide comments from the chair of a comedy show is far less powerful than going to someone elses turf and criticizing them to their face.

Also, I believe that the point Stewart was making was a point that desperately needs to be made more and more often in the coming years. I applaud him for saying it, regardless of tact.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » October 19, 2004, 11:35 am

i agree that his points were extremely valid and that for the good of society it is important to have entities that can check the media - especially entitities that are commercially viable like The Daily Show.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 19, 2004, 12:00 pm

Out of curiosity, are you aware of any internal discussion at CNN regarding the points Stewart was trying to make?

As much as I like seeing a 35 year old in a bowtie getting smacked down, I agree that it wasn't the most professional way to do things... I do think he tried to be nice, but Tucker especially just kept talking over Stewart.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » October 19, 2004, 12:01 pm

Having Voronwe here is like having a spy in the enemy capital. GOGO leet insider infoz!

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » October 19, 2004, 1:11 pm

i have no idea Noel. I am sure the show producers have talked about it, and to be frank, i doubt the network executives really have given it a lot of thought this week. We are less than 2 weeks from the election and that is basically the culmination of the substantial portion of the business focus of the network for the year. Meaning building the viewership, meaning making sure the advertisers are satisfied. Meaning promoting and building the CNN brand. Etc.

The network has been actively working to improve the manner in which shows are prepared to handle 'talking points', and in my view with some degree of success. Watching the shows, i think particularly "Wolf Blitzer Reports" has been a show that it has always been more difficult to pass that kind of bullshit off.

Crossfire is not a show that is a centerpiece of CNNs political coverage, of the ad sales strategy, of the programming schedule (4:30pm eastern), and i think further, most people understand that it is a news based commentary show that is supposed to be entertaining and perhaps informative at the same time.

If you want a more thoughtful debate show, tune into "The Capital Gang" at the more desirable timeslot of 7pm on Sat night.

The campaigns are excellent and at times brilliant at handling the media and pushing their agendas, and it is a challenge now more than ever for media outlets to filter the propaganda from both sides.

but you could even tune in right now and watch a thougtful debate show that has to do with the doctrine of pre-emption, with the roll of America in the world, terrorism, and homeland security. It is co-chaired by anchors from CNN - US and CNNI

quite frankly i think it is an excellent rebuttal to the 'charges'. A rebuttal that of course has been in the works long before the charges were levelled.

Jice Virago · Post by **Jice Virago** » October 19, 2004, 2:44 pm

Fuck those guys. Any amount of research on their part would have prepared them for this, but their own haughtiness bit them in the ass and they were made to look like the fools they are on their own program. Stewart was more than cordial with them in the early part and frankly I would have lost my patience with those assclowns a lot sooner. He forced them into unknown waters that they were not prepared for and their inability to think on their feet was laid bare. You might think Stewart showed a lack of class, but I think that he gave them more class than they deserved. Maybe next time they will actually research their guests a little more thoroughly, instead of assuming they can just play their normal game of partisan penis jousting.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » October 19, 2004, 5:57 pm

Those fucktards only needed to watch Stewart on the Factor. He was very funny, but also very sharp, and kept O'Reilly on his toes through the interview. Very few people are really able to do that, because say what you want about his personality or interview technique, he's one smart motherfucker.

The fact that they expected a dancing chimp shows how little respect they had for John Stewart, not the opposite.

Wulfran · Post by **Wulfran** » October 19, 2004, 6:01 pm

I had to laugh at the shots Stewart gave out last night all the way through his show

My main stance on this whole thing is I compare the way things occurred on Crossfire to the way Stewart was treated by someone like Bill O'Reilly and treated him in return. O'Reilly wasn't "soft" on him but he wasn't completely domineering like Tucker Carlson was. Bagala appeared to me to be polite but Carlson was an asshole and antagonistic from pretty much word one. I would contrast this with the Stewart handles his guests: he is polite, he pokes a bit of fun at the more politcal types and hushes his audience when they want to boo. Now there is a marked difference in the shows, approaches and audiences but in my mind Carlson killed any possibility of reasonable discussion with Stewart.

I also agree with Jice that some research into the temperment and opinions of a guest is something that should have been done before he was asked to appear. That they weren't prepared for his approach/outlook was painfully obvious.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 19, 2004, 6:25 pm

If anyone cares, here's the transcript of Stewart's appearance on the O'Reilly Factor:

Copyright 2004 Fox News Network, LLC

Fox News Network

SHOW: THE O'REILLY FACTOR (20:37)

September 17, 2004 Friday

Transcript # 091705cb.256

SECTION: News: Domestic

LENGTH: 1658 words

HEADLINE: Personal Story

O'Reilly Discusses "The Daily Show"

GUESTS: Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show"

BYLINE: Bill O'Reilly

BODY:

O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly. In the "Personal Story" segment tonight, he is the darling of the television critics, the host of "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central, and now has a book called "America: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction" -- 'inaction,' one word. Welcome, Jon Stewart, to the no spin zone, everyone.

JON STEWART, "THE DAILY SHOW": How are you, sir?

O'REILLY: OK. You know what's really frightening?

STEWART: Uh oh.

O'REILLY: You know what's really frightening?

STEWART: You've been reading my diary.

O'REILLY: You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary.

STEWART: If that were so, that would be quite frightening.

O'REILLY: But it is. It's true. I mean, you've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night, OK, and they can vote.

STEWART: Yeah.

O'REILLY: You can't stop them.

STEWART: Yeah, I just don't know how motivated they would be, these stoned slackers.

O'REILLY: Yeah, it just depends if they have to go out that day.

STEWART: What am I, a Cheech and Chong movie? Stoned slackers?

O'REILLY: Come on, you do the research, you know the research on your program.

STEWART: No, we don't.

O'REILLY: Eighty-seven percent are intoxicated when they watch it. You didn't see that?

STEWART: No, I didn't realize that.

O'REILLY: Yeah, we have that there.

STEWART: We come on right after, I believe, puppets that make crank calls...

O'REILLY: Yeah.

STEWART: ... so we are, I think, the appropriate follow up...

O'REILLY: Yeah, and that's a great lead-in for you.

STEWART: It's a wonderful show, by the way.

O'REILLY: Puppets can't vote, but these dopey kids who watch you can.

STEWART: They actually can -- in Florida, they can.

O'REILLY: Puppets can vote in Florida.

STEWART: As long as they vote Republican.

O'REILLY: And they haven't committed a felony.

STEWART: And they haven't committed a felony, that's exactly right.

O'REILLY: But you do have some influence. Now, how do you see that? You have influence. John Kerry bypassed me and went right over to you. You're only four blocks away. He said, "O'Reilly, I don't think so. Stewart, I'm going to go talk to you."

STEWART: Well, I have to tell you -- and again, I mean no disrespect, but the snack selection backstage, quite frankly...

O'REILLY: Yeah, it's...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You know, I don't want to shake Guantanamo Bay, but it's a little sparer back there.

O'REILLY: It's close, it's close. We want people to be hungry when they come out.

STEWART: I think that's wise. We have, what I like to call, snack- size Three Musketeers, some Snickers, some Milky Ways. If I were a presidential candidate and I had to choose, I think a place that had an energy pick-me-up might be the place I would go.

O'REILLY: Do you think that Kerry does himself any good talking to you? Because I think most of your audience is going to vote for him anyway, aren't they?

STEWART: If I thought...

O'REILLY: The stoned slackers.

STEWART: If I thought honestly that their strategy hinged upon his coming and talking to me, I would suggest that they were in some deep trouble. I don't know. I feel like, you know, we don't have an agenda of influence. If we have influence, it is peripheral. And I don't imagine that people who watch the show are watching it to make up their minds in terms of who they think would best prosecute the war on terror. I think they watch to see who would maybe have the best jokes on the war on terror.

O'REILLY: No, here's what I think. I've been on the show a couple of times. I mean, you obviously make fun of everybody. You know, I'm making fun of your show now. But you get everybody.

STEWART: We are, in fact, crass and immature.

O'REILLY: But you are a show that your target audience is younger, left leaning, so you have to play to the choir sometimes.

STEWART: But the real estate is younger, just because it's Comedy Central.

O'REILLY: And it's at 11 o'clock at night.

STEWART: I don't know if it's left leaning. I mean, would you suggest that -- you know that blue collar TV show that does all the -- like Foxworthy and all that? You'd consider that a red state show -- you know, Foxworthy and -- (UNINTELLIGIBLE)...

O'REILLY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

STEWART: OK. They're our lead-in on Monday nights, and there's really no difference between...

O'REILLY: But even so, younger people tend to be a little bit more, you know...

STEWART: When you say younger, are you talking 9, 10? What are you talking here?

O'REILLY: No, I'm talking 18 to 25, you know. The people who are on your intellectual level.

STEWART: Thank you.

O'REILLY: They seek that.

STEWART: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

O'REILLY: You ask some serious questions too.

STEWART: Very rarely. Every now and again.

O'REILLY: Well, you asked me why I was such a bad person, didn't you, or something like that? Wasn't that a serious question?

STEWART: Did I ask you why you were a bad person?

O'REILLY: Yeah, I think so.

STEWART: No, I wouldn't have done that.

O'REILLY: ... "scum of the earth, O'Reilly," I think that's the way you put it.

STEWART: No, I wouldn't have put it that way. I think it would have been, why do you have such je ne sai qua?

O'REILLY: Yeah, some French. We're boycotting France, so I couldn't answer...

STEWART: By the way, I couldn't agree with you more about the French thing. They are such an important country, and I think really deserve a boycott.

O'REILLY: Yeah, they do.

STEWART: Because of the influence they wield in the world.

(CROSSTALK)

O'REILLY: Well, you know, I know you don't agree with...

STEWART: They have a variety of cheeses, and...

O'REILLY: I was just going to say, you have to have your brie before you go on.

STEWART: Do you really believe France is, in any way, worthy of a boycott?

O'REILLY: I do. I think France has really hurt the USA, to be...

STEWART: Really?

O'REILLY: Yes, I do.

STEWART: More than like Saudi Arabia? You would advocate a boycott...

O'REILLY: No, I'm not going to say more than Saudi Arabia. But I'm saying we do a lot...

STEWART: So why not boycott them?

O'REILLY: France is supposed to be our friend. Saudi Arabia is...

STEWART: Since when?

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: Since the revolution they haven't been our friend.

O'REILLY: OK, when you get a guy like Kerry on...

STEWART: Yes.

O'REILLY: ... and again, he bypassed me, so I took it personally, he went over to talk to you...

STEWART: But you and I are not competitors, let's be frank about it.

O'REILLY: Well, we're on our second rerun on THE FACTOR -- is now at 11 o'clock.

STEWART: I don't mean in terms of -- we're not competitors in terms of content. You're a news show, and we are a comedy show.

O'REILLY: That's true. But what do you want the audience to get out of your discussion with Kerry? Just yucks, or anything else?

STEWART: First of all, I shall rarely refer to it as yucks, and I think you should reconsider.

O'REILLY: OK, I'm sorry about that arcane term.

STEWART: "Shnicks," we call it shnicks -- shnicks and giggles.

O'REILLY: Thank you.

STEWART: All right. I am very uncomfortable going more than a couple of minutes without a laugh, because the same weakness that drove me into comedy also informs my show. So that same, what we call, neediness, neuroses...

O'REILLY: If you're not hearing the audience laugh, you're getting a little nervous.

STEWART: That would be exactly correct, because it is, at heart, a comedy show. But it's a comedy show about things we care about. So naturally, it's informed by relevant issues and important information.

O'REILLY: What do you think Kerry wants to get out of coming on your show?

STEWART: He wants to get what any politician does: access to a new constituency. He wants to get...

O'REILLY: The stoned slackers.

STEWART: ... that's exactly right, because the stoned slackers, this election is going to rely on the undecided. Who is more undecided than...

O'REILLY: Than the stoned slacker, right.

STEWART: ... the people who are high. Right now, they're thinking to themselves, ice cream or pretzels, ice cream or pretzels.

O'REILLY: Don't you think that these guys want to be hip, when McCain was on with you -- Bush hasn't been on with you, right? You would remember that...

STEWART: George Bush?

O'REILLY: Yeah.

STEWART: I don't recall the president stopping by the program.

O'REILLY: But McCain's been on.

STEWART: Yes.

O'REILLY: OK. Kerry's been on, as we mentioned.

STEWART: Yes.

O'REILLY: I've been on. So you've had the three most powerful people beside him on.

STEWART: That's probably right.

O'REILLY: What do you think Kerry wanted to get out of it?

STEWART: A hug -- just a sweet hug. I'm sure what he wants out of it is, again, that access -- it's the same thing that Budweiser wants out of it. It's the same thing that Dell computers...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: No, it's access to this market that may be untapped, an untapped potential, a reserve, an ANWAR, if you will. He wants to drill in an area that has previously been un-drilled. And don't make a dirty remark about that, because I see it coming.

O'REILLY: All right, your book is...

STEWART: But what do you think he wants out of it?

O'REILLY: I think he wants to be hip. I do. I think going on your show is a cache, and he's considered the hipper candidate than the square.

STEWART: So you think he's not looking for votes. This is middle- aged crisis?

O'REILLY: No...

STEWART: This is a mid-life crisis...

O'REILLY: No, he just wants to get that tag...

STEWART: ... buying a Corvette.

O'REILLY: ... that he's with it, that's all. And he probably wants to get hair tips from you. Look at that hair. It's great. All right, Jon Stewart, buy his book, here he is. And I'll see you on your show in a couple of weeks.

STEWART: You will see me on my show.

O'REILLY: Right back with Dan Rather -- how can you not watch it -- in a moment.

miir · Post by **miir** » October 19, 2004, 6:35 pm

THANKS AND WELCOME TO LAST MONTH, MOTHERFUCKER

noel · Post by **noel** » October 19, 2004, 6:48 pm

Thanks! I'll be here all week!

Xzion · Post by **Xzion** » October 19, 2004, 8:22 pm

Carlson: I think your funnier on your show to be honest

Stewart: You know what, your as big a dick on your show as you are on any show

That was absolutly brilliant, this will go downa s one of the best moments in modern TV history