Husbands Diary Entry

Fredonia Coldheart · February 12, 2004, 8:41 pm

Diary Entry

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT???"

So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that, "I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman." I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different, very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewelry department where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

I figure that I won't be having sex again until some time after the spring of 2008.

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » February 12, 2004, 8:49 pm

Bwahahahaha.

Though I must confess to being mildly offended on the basis of my gender, but at least I know I am nothing like that.

Nilaman · Post by **Nilaman** » February 12, 2004, 9:12 pm

Oh man.

Classic.

Topper · Post by **Topper** » February 12, 2004, 9:39 pm

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » February 13, 2004, 12:02 am

Oh yea, that's a keeper baby, rofl.

Mplor · Post by **Mplor** » February 13, 2004, 12:17 am

Yes, I will remember that one.

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » February 13, 2004, 1:37 am

OMG! No you didn't... HAHAHAHA...

While I think it's funny, I will personally never try this because I too would not have sex until sometime in 2008 and I don't think I can wait that long...

Marb

Sanaelya · Post by **Sanaelya** » February 13, 2004, 2:10 am

haha.. i would so do that

i don't care, it would be worth it

give em a taste of their own medicine

Badpassion Seelentrinker · February 13, 2004, 4:37 am

Oh my and you are still living?
That is amazing

Animalor · Post by **Animalor** » February 13, 2004, 9:12 am

I'd seen this before =)

Still good though

Fredonia Coldheart · February 13, 2004, 9:16 am

Badpassion Seelentrinker wrote:Oh my and you are still living?
That is amazing

Sorry - should have said someone sent this to me. I'm female in game and IRL and no, my husband has never done this to me either.

Rasspotari · Post by **Rasspotari** » February 13, 2004, 11:04 am

what you mean "he has not done this to you" .. don't you mean that neither of you have done this to one another. you do realize that she, the woman in that story did something to the man just as much as the man did something to the woman

Fredonia Coldheart · February 13, 2004, 11:08 am

Rasspotari wrote:what you mean "he has not done this to you" .. don't you mean that neither of you have done this to one another. you do realize that she, the woman in that story did something to the man just as much as the man did something to the woman

Aye - I mean that neither of us have done this.

Actually, I've found that if I have a headache, a little lovemaking with the husband drives it away! So in my house its "Yes honey, tonight, I have a headache!"

Melrin_Specclaster · February 13, 2004, 1:05 pm

Actually....

The I have a headache thing is an excuse....sex really does help ease headaches.

Dups. · Post by **Dups.** » February 13, 2004, 2:08 pm

Vary good!!

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » February 13, 2004, 2:18 pm

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:Actually....

The I have a headache thing is an excuse....sex really does help ease headaches.

Maybe depends on a headache, the type I sometimes get, thankfully very rarely, won't go away that easily. Sex with all the emotions, increased blood flow to the head only makes it worse. So when I had used the headache excuse I really meant it

Great joke by the way

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » February 13, 2004, 9:42 pm

oh man no sex for four years is worth a pwn of that magnitude

Badpassion Seelentrinker · February 14, 2004, 3:29 pm

hehe
Yes sex is great for relieving headache's..
Bye going to find Mal and tell him mines really bad atm

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » February 15, 2004, 6:08 pm

Melrin_Specclaster wrote:Actually....

The I have a headache thing is an excuse....sex really does help ease headaches.

It's never helped mine

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » February 15, 2004, 8:35 pm

Lalanae wrote:
Melrin_Specclaster wrote:Actually....

The I have a headache thing is an excuse....sex really does help ease headaches.
It's never helped mine

Helps mine...parasympathetic stimulation > vasodilation and decreases blood pressure (the cause of most common headaches)...Extended foreplay would probably be more effective than actual intercourse...Of course if you have a smashing headache it can be hard to get past the irratibility...