The Paradox of Our Time

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Ravenwind
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The Paradox of Our Time

Post by Ravenwind »

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but
shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast,
get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life,
not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the
street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies
than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character;
steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun;
more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken
homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality,
one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from
cheer to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom;
a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can
choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

* George Carlin



Rav :mrgreen:
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noel
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Post by noel »

That's one minute of my life, I can never get back. :(
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Post by Cotto »

Dont know about that,
you could kill him and steal the last few minutes of his time on earth
It could be that the only purpose for your every existence, is to serve as a warning to others.
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Post by Homercles »

If your gonna quote Carlin, make it something good.

"How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two.
One to screw in the bulb, and one to SUCK MY DICK!"
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Post by Ravenwind »

All of Carlin is good.
Rodney Dangerfield is good to.
Life! You know what life is?
Life is haveing a Mother inlaw that Sucks! and a Wife that doesn't!






Rav :mrgreen:
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Post by Kwonryu DragonFist »

Good thoughts Rav
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Post by Ennia »

I've never fucked a ten. But one night, I fucked five two's.

Dosen't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place!?!

If paranoia is healthy I'm gonna outlive all you motherfuckers.

I wouldnt fuck that with a stolen dick.

now that's Carlin
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Post by noel »

What about...

"Things you'll never hear... Stop sucking my dick, or I'm calling the police!" :D
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Post by Auerilian_Moonfrost »

Paradox of our time? Or paradox of the human race not being able to handle the great responsibility of freedom of will and choice. The greatness of being free contradicted with responsability of our actions/choices in an ethical and moral sense. Oh how the great endeavor bears burden to us all, human freedom. Society is the ongoing experiment of human freedom, it feeds off itself.. we teach each other what to feel and how to act. So what do you want? What do you expect? We are a culture product of mass consumerism, capitalistic, gung ho America. Not that its a bad thing...ZZzzZZZzz....oh yeah nobody is interested in philosophy.
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Post by noel »

Another minute... gone forever. :(
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Post by Skunki »

Baseball is different from any other sport; very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs.

In most sports the ball or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.

Also: In football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball, and without the ball you can't score. In baseball, the ball prevents you from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager; and only in baseball does the manager (or coach) wear the same clothing as the players do. If you had ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders football uniform, you would know the reason for this custom.

Now I've mentioned football. Baseball and football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And, as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values. And maybe how those values have changed over the last 150 years. For those reasons I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!
Football is played on a GRIDIRON, in a STADIUM, sometimes called SOLDIER FIELD or WAR MEMORIAL STADIUM.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything is dying.

In football you wear a helmet
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs. "What down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups. "Who's up? Are you up? I'm not up! He's up!"

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting, and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: Rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...can't see the game, don't know if there is a game going on; mud on the field...can't read the uniforms, can't read the yard markers, the struggle will continue!
In baseball if it rains, we don't go out to play. "I can't go out! It's raining out!"

Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch.
Football has the two-minute warning

Baseball has no time limit: "We don't know when it's gonna end!"
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end "even if we have to go to sudden death."

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling. Emotions may run high or low, but there's not that much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you were perfectly capable of taking the life of a fellow human being





And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:



In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! "I hope I'll be safe at home!"


nope nope this is Carlin(yea i cheated copy and pasted but nonetheless...) and its OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS better if you can actually hear him do this monologue..still great tho
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Post by Ennia »

ah what the hell, copy/pasted :lol:

Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise... somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Ho-lee Shit!!
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definately not work friendly

Post by Skunki »

not work friendly at all but i laughed my ass off..heard it before but still funny stuff...

http://www.georgecarlin.com/georgecarlin/index.html
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Post by Paruhdox »

eh! ; )
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Post by Truant »

I have always enjoyed the baseball monologue.

It was included in the baseball documentary that was done by pbs a few years back.
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Post by Skunki »

Yea Truant,


THe cool thing about George Carlin is i can totally hear his voice and see his expressions when reading this stuff. Like as if i were watching him. I can imagine its not very funny to people that have never heard him deliver these clever monologues.
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Post by Searyx »

According to the website, the post that started all this George Carlin shit isn't even from George Carlin.
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Post by Skunki »

Searyx, you should watch his hbos specials, its all material he has been doing for years....


even if some of it isnt his material, its his delivery of it that makes it great! so stfu and go back to posting Pokeman Anime that noone gives a shit about :)
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Post by noel »

Honk wrote:...so stfu and go back to posting Pokeman Anime that noone gives a shit about :)
BEST. QUOTE. EVAR!
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