How to Raise Santa Faction

[Ninan]

Thought this was pretty funny. Written by an EQ friend.

You say: Hail, Santa Claus

Santa Claus says: Hello, Leirra. I am the bringer of goodwill. Are you interested in [Christmas cheer]

You say: What chismas cheer?

You say What Christmas Cheer?

Santa Claus says: Excellent, I knew you were a good soul. First, you must go to Best Buy and and bring back a [Video Game] to give to your nephew. Before giving it to him, though, it must first be [Wrapped].

You say: What video game

Santa Claus says Very good, your Nephew is looking for Tomb Raider and the Angel of Darkness for the playstation 2.

You say: what wrapped

Santa Claus says: The gift must be wrapped in wrapping paper. I can provide the materials for a small fee, but you must provide the skills to make the wrapping on your own.

You shout: WTB a port to Best Buy!

{crickets}

/who wiz

There are no wizards in Texas

/who Druid

There are no druids in Texas

You say: GRRRRRRR.

(much travel time)

Zoning into Best Buy.

A Credit Card Pusher tries to solicit you, but misses.

A Credit Card pusher tries to solicit you, but misses.

A Sprint PCS pusher tries to solicit you, but you are invulnerable.

You have foraged a Tomb Raider game.

You say out of character: Camp Check.

Bob says out of character: Checkout line camped.

You tell Bob: I need that spawn, will you be long?

Bob tells you: My group is almost done, but there is a waiting list. I can put you on it if you like.

You tell Bob: How long a list?

Bob tells you: 230 people.

You tell Bob: ?!!!!

Bob tells you: You can always try doing the alt quest.

You tell Bob: Alt quest?

Bob tells you: Yes, hehe. Its not really a quest but an exploit using the shoplifting bug. If you get caught though, you get banned from the zone permanently and your account banned for a day or 2 AND you do not get the item.

You tell Bob. 237 people it might be faster, but I can't take the faction hit. Put me on the list.

{much time passes)

Hail, a cashier.

You crush a cashier with Visa for $50 of damage.

You have slain a bill.

You say: Drat, a greenie. No exp.

Zoning into home.

You give Santa Claus $10

Santa Claus says: Perfect. Here is your wrapping paper.

You lack the skills to wrap this gift, but have fashioned an alternate product instead.

You have dropped your cat toy.

You lack the skills to wrap this gift, but have fashioned an alternate product instead.

You have become better at wrapping [6]

Are you SURE you wish to destroy your Wad of Tape?

You have made a wrapped gift.

You say Hail, Santa Claus.

Santa Claus says. This gift is very nice. Next you must got to Fry's to get a [Gift] for your sister.

You have increased your faction with Santa Claus.

You say: $%^*@!

Santa Claus says: That was not very nice

You have decreased your faction with Santa Claus.

Santa Claus says: You must prove your worth before completeing the Christmas Cheer quest.