A Trolly Kristmuz ( lengthy)

[sweetkastings]

A TrollyKristmuz
by. Sweetkastings

'Twuz da night before Kristmuz,when all troo da home
Not a creature was running, not even a gnome
Da beartraps were set by the chimney wit care
In hopes dat our dinner soon would be dere

Da yung'uns were sleepin' all snug on rock beds
While gnomes and dorf meetz danced in dere heads
And joo wit 'er manadoll, and me wit me sheild
Had just finished chasin frogloks fum da feild

When out on the lawn dere was a big bang!err...clatter
Me sprang from da bed to see wot wus da matter
Away to da window me flew like a flash
Ripped of da shutters an' burned away the sash

Da moon on da sky, and da new-fallen snow
Gave da shininess of mid-day objekts below
When, what to me wudring eyes shud appear
But a bite-sized sleigh,and even smaller reindeer

With a big old driver, ee' made everything pause
Me knew very fast it must be Santa Claus
Wit da Spirt of Wolf his reindeerz dey came
And he wistled, an' shouted, an' called dem by name

"Now,DASHER! now Dancer! Now PRANCER and Vixen!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on DONDER an' BLITZEN!
To da top uv da proch! to da top uv da wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As Dry keaves dat before da wild hurricane fly
When dey meet wit an obstakle, mount to da sky
So up to da house-top da reindeerz dey flew
wit da sleigh full of edibles, and Santa too

And den, in a twinkling, meheard on da roof
Da banging and bonking of ech noisy hoof
As me drew me big hammer, an' was turning around
Down da chimney da big guy came with a bound

Ee wuz dressed all in fur, fum his head to his foot
And 'is clothes were all dirty wit ashes and soot
A bundle of food 'ee had on his back
And he lukked like a merchant trying ta sell my dagger back

'Is eyes-- how dey twinkled! 'is dimples like lumber!
His cheeks were like olives, his nose like a cucumber!
His cherry fanged mouth was drawn up like a bow
And da beard uv his chin wuz as white as da snow

Da stump of a gnome 'ee held tight in his teef
And da spirts encircled his head like a wreef
He had a broad face and da biggest round belly
Dat shooked when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly

He wuz chubby and plump,and a jolly ole soul
And me laughed when me saw him, he was a TROLL!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know me and 'noffin to dred

He spoke not a wurd, but went straight to 'is work
An' filled all da beartraps, den trund wit a jerk
And laying a finger oaside of his nose
And giving a nod , up the chimney he rose

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away dey all flew like a heat-seekin missle
But me head him exclaim, has he drove out uv sight
MERRY KRISTMUZ TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD FIGHT!

(spelling is correct done by Sweetkastings to celebrate to Holidays, have fun , and stay safe all)

[Pahreyia]

I wanna hear Krakkerz' version now.

[sweetkastings]

my version better then all