Letter to Santa

a_guide · Post by **a_guide** » December 20, 2003, 1:20 am

Mad Libs style:
http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

Sionistic · Post by **Sionistic** » December 20, 2003, 1:28 am

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Meat popsicle.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kate's Christmas party. It was Chris who spiked the punch with too much Guiness. I can't help it if I drank 80 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like jasmine.

I thought it was funny when I put Juan's kilt on my head and danced the alabama crab dangle on the futon while singing `What if god was one of us'. I didn't mean to break Kate's blender and don't know why Kate would sue me for mopery.

I don't remember calling Eddie's wife a unladen pig---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and black lipstick!

And when I threw up on Mellisa's husband's ring finger, it was only because I ate too much of that miso.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my pinto through my neighbor's den. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a docile sloth and have me arrested for purgery!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all slow and inane. And I'm really not to blame for any of this drab stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and voluptious yours,
Ed (Really a nice Meat popsicle!)

P.S. It's only 135 bucks!

Laliana · Post by **Laliana** » December 20, 2003, 2:27 am

Hehe, for the IRC gang!

Dear Santa,

I have been a good Girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Pyrella's Christmas party. It was Sylvus who spiked the punch with too much Captain Morgan. I can't help it if I drank Eleventy billion glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Drolgin's Skirt on my head and danced the tango on the bed while singing `Santa Claus is coming to town'. I didn't mean to break Pyrella's toaster and don't know why Pyrella would sue me for shoplifting.

I don't remember calling Voronwe's wife a burning sheep---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and purple lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kyria's husband's wrist, it was only because I ate too much of that chicken.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Jeep through my neighbor's livingroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a hairy dog and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smelly and clammy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this steamy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and stunningly yours,
Laliana (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 23 bucks!

Tenuvil · Post by **Tenuvil** » December 20, 2003, 4:51 am

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Bill's Christmas party. It was Steve who spiked the punch with too much vodka. I can't help it if I drank 10000000 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like embalming fluid.

I thought it was funny when I put Aimee's panties on my head and danced the hula on the table while singing `Mama We're All Crazy Now'. I didn't mean to break Bill's router and don't know why Bill would sue me for bestiality.

I don't remember calling Vic's wife a big sheep---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and blue lipstick!

And when I threw up on Michelle's husband's eye, it was only because I ate too much of that sausage.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Ford Expedition through my neighbor's garage. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a wide dog and have me arrested for larceny!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all small and dark. And I'm really not to blame for any of this quiet stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and ashamedly yours,
Tenu (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 500000 bucks!

Anaeran Silvermoon · December 20, 2003, 1:24 pm

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at DJ's Christmas party. It was Keith who spiked the punch with too much Vodka. I can't help it if I drank 203 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like blueberries.

I thought it was funny when I put Erik's panties on my head and danced the Macarena on the Couch while singing `Endless Love'. I didn't mean to break DJ's blender and don't know why DJ would sue me for public obscenity.

I don't remember calling Jonas's wife a sexy chicken---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Sarah's husband's ass, it was only because I ate too much of that marshmellow.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my airplane through my neighbor's living room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a hot dog and have me arrested for beating a puppy!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all big and round. And I'm really not to blame for any of this juicy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Erotically yours,
Anaeran (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 2 bucks!