Slower Traffic

XunilTlatoani · Post by **XunilTlatoani** » December 18, 2003, 8:35 pm

So I'm on the way to work this morning on a one lane country road near my home, very nice, peaceful morning, and my annual bronchitis pays me a visit as I start coughing up a lung so to speak. The speed limit is 50, but I probably slowed to 48 while I composed myself.

After which, I looked into my rear view and saw a black pickup tailing me like an ass. I sped up to my usual 10 over and he fell back a bit, not passing me since there was oncoming traffic. I make a left onto country road #2 and he's riding my tail again. I finally turn onto the state route (2-lanes) and proceed to about 73 MPH to get around slower traffic.

Knowing that there is a busy on-ramp coming up on the right, I typically will remain in the left lane, but 70+ in a 55 zone is obviously not good enough for this ass in the pickup, so he passes me on the right.

By now, you are thinking, what the hell is the point to this rambling. Well, on the back of this pickup is a 4 foot wide bumper sticker exclaiming "Slower Traffic Keep Right". Upon further inspection..."SlowerTrafficKeepRight.com". I figured it was a joke, but lo and behold:

http://www.slowertraffickeepright.com/

Next time I see him, I am going to be the biggest fucking jackass so I can make it into his news section

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » December 18, 2003, 8:45 pm

Heh, sounds like drivers around here. It seems his little club are all about 'their' right of way, not about simply courtesy. I say chuck a handful of loose change at him next time he displays such assholery on the open road.

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 18, 2003, 10:16 pm

I just pace another vehicle and let them worry about their blood pressure...

Krurk · Post by **Krurk** » December 18, 2003, 10:22 pm

You just need this simple bumper sticker.

"The last person who could read this bought my car"

Kyria · Post by **Kyria** » December 18, 2003, 10:48 pm

I like when someone tails me. I just take my foot off the gas completely and slowly coast my way down the road. La la la.

Deward · Post by **Deward** » December 19, 2003, 11:35 am

I tend to chew sunflower seeds when I travel long distances. Assholes like this get my spit cup emptied on them. Seed shells fly pretty far at 65 and seeing the look on their face as they are trying to figure out what is on their windshield is fucking hilarious.

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » December 19, 2003, 3:19 pm

Kyra wrote:I like when someone tails me. I just take my foot off the gas completely and slowly coast my way down the road. La la la.

I don't quite do that, but I do slow for tailgaters. Especially bling-mobiles.

Sylvos · Post by **Sylvos** » December 19, 2003, 3:21 pm

I just have a complete episode of Road Rage and usually make the 6'oclock news.

Fizzlewhip · Post by **Fizzlewhip** » December 19, 2003, 3:56 pm

I just want one of those scrolling message lights in my back window......

and the words "fuck off" pretyped and ready to go on at the touch of a button.

Siji · Post by **Siji** » December 19, 2003, 5:00 pm

Fizzlewhip wrote:I just want one of those scrolling message lights in my back window...... and the words "fuck off" pretyped and ready to go on at the touch of a button.

Carrying a paintball gun in your car is much more fun.

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » December 19, 2003, 5:20 pm

I always wanted a rear mounted spotlight.. great for tailgaters and the assholes that can't work out how to adjust their headlights.

Vetiria · Post by **Vetiria** » December 19, 2003, 5:30 pm

Kyra wrote:I like when someone tails me. I just take my foot off the gas completely and slowly coast my way down the road. La la la.

I'll do basically the same thing. I'll drop to about half my speed for a while, then speed back up. One person kept tailgating me afterward so I slammed on my break. She stayed back after that.

Arundel Pajo · Post by **Arundel Pajo** » December 19, 2003, 6:14 pm

Zaelath wrote:I always wanted a rear mounted spotlight.. great for tailgaters and the assholes that can't work out how to adjust their headlights.

Many years back, when I was in high school, a close friend of mine had just that. He had this old station wagon that we would ride around in...the kind where the back window rolls down. He had bought somewhere this million-candlepower spotlight that plugged into the cigarette lighter port. You could run damn near anybody off the road with that thing - just lower the back window and let 'er rip.

...it was also useful for turning out streetlights when we were up to no good.

As for my personal scheme regarding tailgaters...some days I would just **love** to have an old beater of a car that I don't care at all about, and fill the windshield washer fluid reservoir with brake fluid. Misalign your washer jets, and let the fun begin.

Only downside is that you couldn't just get it on *their* car...it would splatter onto innocent passers by. I do keep a spray bottle of the stuff in the glovebox of my scooter, though.

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » December 19, 2003, 7:07 pm

Well, purely for tailgaters I'd love to fill an old car's trunk w/ sand bags and jack up the back springs...

I still remember this one woman, following about 6 feet behind me, doing 40, 2 unrestrained kids in the car, looking out her side windows for a good 20 seconds...

Lohrno · Post by **Lohrno** » December 19, 2003, 7:15 pm

The simple way to get tailgaters off your ass- press on the brakes for a sec -- lightly. Usually scares them enough.

-=Lohrno

Ebumar · Post by **Ebumar** » December 19, 2003, 10:43 pm

<----- almost got hit when he slammed on his breaks with a tailgater behind him.

Seriously, the bastard almost hit me. He stayed behind me though. Next stoplight, it was an abrupt stop, we had to stop. He got out of his car, walked up to my window and started screaming, I flipped him off. He then kicked my car door and I called the cops. I backed up so he couldn't get out. Cops were there in about 2 mins and he went to jail, it was great.

Lohrno · Post by **Lohrno** » December 19, 2003, 11:16 pm

Ebumar wrote: Seriously, the bastard almost hit me. He stayed behind me though. Next stoplight, it was an abrupt stop, we had to stop. He got out of his car, walked up to my window and started screaming, I flipped him off. He then kicked my car door and I called the cops. I backed up so he couldn't get out. Cops were there in about 2 mins and he went to jail, it was great.

I salute you. Nice job dude!

-=Lohrno

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » December 20, 2003, 2:18 am

I want the scrolling msg board as well. To quote Carlin "You drive like old people fuk... SLOW AND SLOPPY"

I don't deal well with stupid people on the highway which is why, although now legal in Arkansas, I do not carry a loaded handgun in my truck.

Marb

Xzion · Post by **Xzion** » December 22, 2003, 11:00 am

shit i thought my new Z was a cop magnet...they must love that bumper sticker

nothing pisses me off more though then when some old couple is going under the speed limit on the express way

Lohrno · Post by **Lohrno** » December 22, 2003, 4:43 pm

Xzion wrote: nothing pisses me off more though then when some old couple is going under the speed limit on the express way

What pisses my of more is the old people who go under the speed limit, but also don't look when they are pulling out in front of you onto the road, causing you to have to brake to the point of smoke coming out to not hit them...It's happened to me like 3 times in the past year.

-=Lohrno

Mplor · Post by **Mplor** » December 22, 2003, 5:50 pm

Only place I mind slow drivers is on the interstate. I don't care what the posted speed limit is, if someone else is going faster than you on the road you shouldn't be in the left lane. At least have the good grace to let us by you and then go back to blocking up the fast lane if you feel like it.

If I lived in Florida, I think I would go insane. The unpredictability of some aged drivers there makes me fear for my life.

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » December 24, 2003, 5:58 pm

They will actually ticket you when driving on the interstate in Texas now if you're driving in the left lane unless you are passing someone. This applies outside of most city limits though. I only WISH it actually applied IN town as well.

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » December 24, 2003, 6:22 pm

When's the last time you made a left-hand turn on an interstate? Jackass.

Edit: outside town. Regardless, if the entire population wasn't made up of self-important retards that tailgate each other so no one can squeeze into the gap between them and the car ahead, people might hug the right-hand lane until they had to move across to turn left. As it is, if you know you have a left-turn coming up, you make sure you're in there ASAP.

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » December 24, 2003, 6:50 pm

Um, I was just stating what the law is. Oh, and there ARE still Crossovers in rural areas along Interstates where you would have to be in the left lane to turn. This is just big brother's way to supposedly stop people from getting in the speeder's way and reducing road rage I guess. I didn't write the law.

When I referred to it IN town, I meant the people who go 15 below the limit (actually had someone doing 40 in a 65 this week) which is almost as dangerous as someone doing 10 over the limit due to the moronic drivers who immediately think that the person in the left lane will be moving faster soon or something.

Personally, I don't tailgate. I hate tailgaters and do whatever I can to annoy them as much as they annoy me. I laugh and make faces at them when they finally get beside me at a light. Etc..

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » December 24, 2003, 7:23 pm

We had one of these assholes tailing us on the way to lake havasu a few weeks ago, he would just not stop tailgating me when i was going almost 90mph on the highway. All I did was drive up and kept pace with a semi in the right lane at like 60 mph for about 70 miles until we hit a city and the guy ended up passing me by driving off the road across some parking lot.

think he was pretty much owned)

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » December 24, 2003, 8:30 pm

Yeah, I pretty much agree with your whole position Boog, it's just that it's part of the problem, not the whole issue..