Dennis Miller on Environmentalists

Avestan · Post by **Avestan** » September 12, 2003, 11:28 pm

Yes. . .this really is him, I thought it was funny:

Hey, get this ... I want to talk about environmentalists. You know, the full-timers. The ones who make their living off it.

You get the feeling this isn't about preservation for them, it's about self-preservation. Some of their stances have now rocketed right past obstinate and into arbitrary.

What about Alaska? Is Alaska just off limits forever? We got Alaska for like four bucks in Mallo Cup money — the Russkies were in yet another vodka stupor, they had no idea what they were doing. We called it Seward's Folly, but now all of a sudden people act like it's Valhalla. Why? Because the caribou live there? Are you kidding me?

I didn't even know what caribou were, so I researched it. Caribou are large North American reindeer. In other words, reindeer who couldn't make the show. We have now given one of the only 50 states we have to a herd of Simu-Bullwinkles!

You know, we have to be more specific about we mean when we say “the environment.” Air quality? Yeah, count me in. Caribou? No. Uh-uh. For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.

When did nature get so whiney? We're not allowed to do anything to nature anymore, except look at it. It's like porn with leaves. And where's this delicate balance I always hear so much about? Every time I watch "Animal Planet," I see a rabid harp seal popping penguins down his gullet like they were maitre d'Tic Tacs. To me, nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged eustachian tube.

And then there's global warming. I didn’t even know the details on global warming so I looked it up. There are a lot of vying statistics, but I think the crux of it is the temperature has gone up roughly 1.8 degrees over a hundred years. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? Hey, I'm happy it's gone up. I'm always a little chilly anyway.

Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids’ kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.

Got that?

Fesuni Chopsui · Post by **Fesuni Chopsui** » September 13, 2003, 1:59 am

Dennis Miller is the biggest fucking hypocrite to walk the earth...once conservatism became popular, he became a conservative...I despise him with a passion

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 13, 2003, 2:49 am

umm hypocrite my ass. He is a fucking comedian. I have seen him make fun of everyone and everything regardless of political position or evironmental position. Watch DML sometime on HBO, and not just one, like a lot, you will see.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 13, 2003, 4:52 am

Dennis Miller was always pretty conservative. He just likes to make fun of radicals and the most popular radicals are always the mouthy fat ass right wing talking heads.

That really doesn't sound like Dennis Miller either though. I mean really doesn't.

Xzion · Post by **Xzion** » September 13, 2003, 10:19 am

he did the 10 commandment thing right? that was pure genious

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » September 13, 2003, 10:43 am

I thought that was the old dude, (Carlin or something like that?) that talks like he is gargling glass.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 13, 2003, 12:47 pm

Yeah, Dennis Miller has a tendency of saying 'you know ahhhh' after every joke.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » September 13, 2003, 1:56 pm

1. Carlin did the commandments.
2. This really doesn't sound like Miller.
3. Fesuni, do you ever make an informed statement in your life? Or do you just fly off the handle for fun?

Avestan · Post by **Avestan** » September 13, 2003, 6:59 pm

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,97224,00.html

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 13, 2003, 7:59 pm

wow he's either a really poor conservative mouthpiece or he isn't very funny anymore.

miir · Post by **miir** » September 13, 2003, 9:13 pm

That really doesn't sound like Dennis Miller either though. I mean really doesn't.

"nature always appears more unbalanced than Gary Busey with a clogged eustachian tube"

and

Some of their stances have now rocketed right past obstinate and into arbitrary

Pretty typical Dennis Miller style.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » September 15, 2003, 1:05 am

Dennis Miller makes fun of anyone he can.

He does not limit his comments to a conservative agenda.

Go look up some of his Bush 41 material.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 15, 2003, 12:09 pm

we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure I want to be cruising around a mall parking lot filled with a thousand mini-Hindenburgs.

i'm sure this got some laughs from people. people who didnt even understand why they were laughing, other than the rhythm of the discourse had a pause after the sentence, and laughter dispells the frightening vacancy that is silence.

so his objection to Fuel celled vehichles is because they could potentially explode?

hmmm....gasoline.....

so in other words, its not really funny because 1. hyrdogen fuel cells arent giant gas bags. 2. our cars already are explosive as hell. Didn't this dipshit ever watch the A-Team?

i've never really cared much for Dennis Miller honestly. He was pretty good on the SNL newscast, but he has always (in my opinion) been somebody whose humor was ultimately self indulgent. He is excessively verbose to make sure he emphasizes how intelligent he is. He will intentionally make cryptic references to cultural figures that serve more to indicate his 'hipness' to their existence than to really tie anything into his joke.

i'm not surprised he's conservative, cause he's rich. there is a major financial incentive to be a conservative if you are a multimillionaire.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » September 15, 2003, 1:50 pm

Just one thing Voronwe, you are not just a little but ENTIRELY wrong with the conjecture that current vehicles are explosive. Cars (with a one in a million exception) only blow up in movies.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 15, 2003, 3:31 pm

i'm not trying to characterize gasoline powered cars as driving time bombs.

just trying to illustrate that his joke was stupid as gasoline is more flammable / explosive than hydrogen. considering a substantial portion of the atmosphere is hydrogen, i can say with relative certainty that it is pretty stable.

Chmee · Post by **Chmee** » September 15, 2003, 4:00 pm

considering a substantial portion of the atmosphere is hydrogen, i can say with relative certainty that it is pretty stable.

Breakdown of the atmosphere is roughly

Nitrogen 78.1%
Oxygen 20.9%
Argon 0.9%
Carbon dioxide, Methane, Rare (inert) gases 0.1%

(from a random google search granted, but different links seemed to have roughly the same numbers)

Chmee · Post by **Chmee** » September 15, 2003, 4:05 pm

P.S. This isn't to say that Miller's argument is valid, I don't really know what the potential danger is of a hydrogen fueled vehicle compared to a gasoline one.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 15, 2003, 4:24 pm

yes you are right =)

0.00005% is the amount of H2.

The reason is H2 nuclei are so small they often escape into space =D.

i'm getting old, i'm forgetting what i learned in college =)

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 15, 2003, 5:09 pm

You learned in college?

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 15, 2003, 5:35 pm

i can make a bong out of anything

so yes

Post by **Sylvus** » September 15, 2003, 5:49 pm

Alright, then get me an avacado, an ice pick, and my snorkel. Trust me bro, I've made bongs with less. Hurry up!

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 15, 2003, 6:02 pm

touche voro, touche.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » September 15, 2003, 6:09 pm

There used to be shirts made up to look exactly like one of the sports team's shirts, except instead of UF Varsity Swim Team (for example), it said UF Varsity Bong Team.

That particular shirt had a picture of a gator smoking a bong that used the pool as its water reservoir.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 15, 2003, 6:14 pm

Sylvus wrote:Alright, then get me an avacado, an ice pick, and my snorkel. Trust me bro, I've made bongs with less. Hurry up!

Cut avacado seed in half and use icepick to hollow out seed half and poke holes in it. Pack with weed and place on snorkel tip. Light and draw smoke through mouthpiece. Pack snorkel loosely with shaved ice to take bigger hits.

For best results turn remains of avacado into guacamole and serve with nachos with that gooey cheese shit from 711 that tastes like eating an orgasm must taste like as long as you are fucking wasted.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 15, 2003, 6:17 pm

Now that is a handy woman!

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 15, 2003, 6:21 pm

masteen wrote:There used to be shirts made up to look exactly like one of the sports team's shirts, except instead of UF Varsity Swim Team (for example), it said UF Varsity Bong Team.

That particular shirt had a picture of a gator smoking a bong that used the pool as its water reservoir.

We had the same shirt.

Ibis instead of gator though =)

Vaemas · Post by **Vaemas** » September 15, 2003, 10:54 pm

ROFL Kyou. Sup?

VeeshanVault

Dennis Miller on Environmentalists

Dennis Miller on Environmentalists

It is Dennis Miller