Minors and alcohol

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » May 9, 2003, 1:47 am

The poll about buying alcohol for minors got me thinking. When I was a teenager, my parents were hardcore about me not getting NEAR alcohol. I remember asking my mom for a sip of wine cooler (just to taste it) at a family gathering and my parents acted like I just asked to rape grandma with a pork rib.

Anyway my cousins who were only a year older had parents who would let them drink on occaision (at home, supervised), but my cousins never got drunk and never really seemed to care about getting alcohol. I, on the other hand, took every opportunity to try and get booze in my teenage years.

So, I'm wondering, do any of you have similar experiences? Do you think that parents who make alcohol "teh debil" only making it more desirable to kids?

Wulfran · Post by **Wulfran** » May 9, 2003, 2:47 am

Heheheh

Well, my exposure started as a kid. Dad would have a beer, so I would grab his beer and have a swig. That was fine as long as I never drank too much of his beer

About 10, my sister and I were allowed a glass of wine at "special occasion" meals, like Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter.

When we entered our teens, we were told point blank "we know you guys are going to do it, and we may not be happy at the time, but if you get drunk and can't get home/can't drive, call us and we will come get you". Occasion single drinks with Mom and Dad were also accepted.

When I was about 14-15 is when I started partying with a lot of my friends. We'd get some cash together and get someone's brother/sister (or any 18 yr old we knew... drinking age is 18 where I live) to buy us some beer or other liquor, and then we'd find a place to get hammered (lots of times house parties of high school friends whose parents were out of town) and crash at a friend's place/in a tent/etc.

For that time and place it was a pretty normal thing. My parents used to bug the living shit our me when I was hung over but my sr year of high school they were OK with things to the point where they let us have a "wet" christmas party at our house (I was just turned 17 at the time and the condition was that the messes were OURS to clean).

In the end I think it is more the actions of the peer group. Of my HS friends, some were more strict, some were more lenient, but it didn't make a lot of difference in the long run. We did what we wanted to, mostly because as a group of friends we wanted to do it. There was no pressure to drink, but we enjoyed the buzz so we did it.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » May 9, 2003, 3:06 am

Lalanae wrote:The poll about buying alcohol for minors got me thinking. When I was a teenager, my parents were hardcore about me not getting NEAR alcohol. I remember asking my mom for a sip of wine cooler (just to taste it) at a family gathering and my parents acted like I just asked to rape grandma with a pork rib.

Anyway my cousins who were only a year older had parents who would let them drink on occaision (at home, supervised), but my cousins never got drunk and never really seemed to care about getting alcohol. I, on the other hand, took every opportunity to try and get booze in my teenage years.

So, I'm wondering, do any of you have similar experiences? Do you think that parents who make alcohol "teh debil" only making it more desirable to kids?

Alcoholism aside, I think that giving kids a little exposure to beer/wine helps to demystify it. Starting around age 16, my dad would let me drink a beer at a family get together etc or have a glass of wine.

I'm not sure if this helped anything but it made those extended family get togethers more tolerable!

Kids want what they can't have. I went to boarding school in Switzerland my Senior year of high school and my parents signed a release so I could drink beer and wine. Pretty cool eh? So what did we do...we would sneek around and buy hard liquor because there was a risk to it.

I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what's legal and what's not, teens are going to want to push the edge and take risks during that stage of growing up. Excitement is what they're after. Make Pop Rocks illegal and you'd see Pop Rock parties spring up.

Nice topic for discussion Lalanae.

Aaeamdar · Post by **Aaeamdar** » May 9, 2003, 3:55 am

I was not allowed to drink as a kid, so I did. But, frankly, I think even if I was allowed to drink, as soon as I hit college I would still have spent most of it high and drunk.

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » May 9, 2003, 4:46 am

My father had an alcohol problem when I was little.

My mom was strict (they divorced when I was 2).

So when I grew up I kinda was scared I might have inherited the acloholic gene a bit but also I watched it mess with my dad etc...and I was never really told not to drink.

My first taste of alcohol was the last week of my Sophmore year of COLLEGE. I had 10 beers I was moderately drunk, claritin was REALLY drunk.

2 girls peer pressured me....one of whom I had a crush on. Not that I hadn't been pressured before...but I had never been pressured by a girl I liked.

I spent Junior and Senior year getting drunk...but usually only one night a week...

To me it wasn't a big deal...after I graduated I stopped drinking pretty much all together....maybe drink once every 6 months for 6 years...until this last year...now I get drunk 1x a week again.

I mean my dad would have given me unlimited free pot if I wanted back in the day....but I don't smoke....

Tonight I didn't get drunk I just had 2 beers and a shot....never even got a buzz because it was over a 6 hour period. Kinda a waste of cash. No point really in drinking alcohol unless you get a buzz, water is way cheaper and better for me.

My cousins have a very strict mom and were expressly forbidden to drink...they drink and drive, smoke pot etc....to the point where one was under the influence of pot and beer and got pulled over for the 3rd time in 2 years and punched the cop...so now noone knows where she is because she ran when they gave her a summons. So I guess strict doesn't always work....her mom was similar to my dad though....I think your just predispositioned to do that type of shit.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » May 9, 2003, 5:41 am

My dad never let me drink at home and I was a fucking lush in high school when I was out with my friends. I very rarely drink now. In fact almost all of my hard drinking days were before I was legal.

I'm not a huge fan of the smell and taste of most kinds of alcohol so when I was younger I jsut drank it to get shit faced with my friends.

Zepheria · Post by **Zepheria** » May 9, 2003, 10:58 am

My parents (although very strict on OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of things) let us experiment with drinking when I was about 14. I would sip off of my dad's beer, they would let my sister and I have wine coolers,.......hell, my mom would make a batch of pina coladas and split it with my sister and I. Later on I started drinking OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS more when I hit about 19 or so. I partied and drank OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS whereas my sister didn't and very rarely drinks. Now I am dating someone who has never had a drink in his life and so I am only a social drinker...and even then it is few and far between.

I think being allowed to try alcohol early took the mystery out of it for me. It took away that need to want to do it because it "wasn't allowed" and as I grew older and my social situations changed so did the appeal for wanting to do it altogether.

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » May 9, 2003, 11:06 am

My parents didn't drink, I never drank, and I never intend to drink. However, the group I hung out with in High School partied exceptionally hard from ages 13-18 or so. After that, they all became social drinkers. But those 5 years were pretty much a blur to all of them. During my entire time with them I was never once pressured to drink or experiment with drugs.

miir · Post by **miir** » May 9, 2003, 11:08 am

My family had pretty lax views on alcohol.

I remember coming home one night after drinking too much (i think i was 17). I was in the bathroom throwing up for about 20 mins and woke up with the biggest hangover. My dad forced me to mow the lawn as soon as I got up... cruel but effective.

Since I turned 20, I find myself drinking often, but not large quantities.
I never go out with the intent to 'get loaded'.
I can't recall the last time I was really 'drunk'.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » May 9, 2003, 11:32 am

Honestly, I did more drugs in high school than booze. Speed, weed, and poppers were just so much easier to get.

In college, I was a fucking lush my freshman year, then I got in with the hash/weed crowd. My drinking tapered way off, and I quit binge drinking. My grades went up, and my social life improved because I wasn't fucking incoherent an hour into every party. HOORAY POT!

Now, I go out with the intent to get trashed a couple times a season, more over the holidays. I prefer to keep myself sober, so that when I do decide to get drunk or roll or get coked up it takes less to do it and hurts less the next day. I still smoke every weekend tho

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » May 9, 2003, 11:51 am

Being Polish I think I can stop explaining right here lol
Alcohol is something I grew up with, casual drinking was something so normal you just never questioned it. There was always an occasion to have a shot. And there was always some sort of alcoholic beverage in my folks house.

Somehow though I never developed a need to drink, the smell of a drunk person and seeing how it affects their ability to function is sickening to me.

My experience with alcohol was very short, it involved one party at a summer camp, I don't remember much

but I got a picture of me throwing up into some sort of bucket as a party favor.
After that alcohol could stop exist as far as I was concerned.
These days I indulge in one or two sips of champagne on New Year's Eve hehe

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » May 9, 2003, 11:54 am

i didnt read this thread. but the combination of 3.5 hours of sleep and lots of beer makes me feel like ass this morning

that is all

Kluden · Post by **Kluden** » May 9, 2003, 11:59 am

My uncle was an alcoholic and he hung himself (before I was born) so my parents were very strict about booze. This led to me drinking at an early age...and I probably would not have been so gung-ho about it if my parents were not so strict.

I'd have to agree with Dar though, as soon as I got to college, all fucken bets were off

And to make Voronwe feel better...lastnight was Boddingtons for me...getting several comments about "smelling like a brewery" today...coworker jealosy? I think so!

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » May 9, 2003, 11:59 am

Was allowed a sip now and then growing up, didn't find much special about it. It wasn't until drinking became associated with socializing that I cared for it at all... of course now I really like it ><

I can see how being strictly told no could pique a kids interest to the point of actively pursuing it. The more relaxed attitude my parents took with me and alcohol was probably the best way to go.

rhyae · Post by **rhyae** » May 9, 2003, 12:00 pm

My parents weren't strict about it, which seems odd now since my grandpa was an alcholic, so there was no mystery.
Drank a lot in college as per usual, just called to let them know I wouldnt be home on the nights I drank too much. Now I rarely drink.

Post by **Sylvus** » May 9, 2003, 12:56 pm

It's funny because I remember being pretty anti-everything when I was a freshman in high school, to the point of saying things like "I don't want to go to that party, people are going to be drinking there." Then I moved to a new city for Sophomore year and the combination of my parents not wanting me to drink and everyone I was making friends with being drunks led me to become a world-class lush today.

My dad's rule, as far as anything was concerned, was just don't do it while you're in high school. As soon as you graduate you're enough of an adult to make those decisions for yourself. And while I didn't really follow it, that's probably the rule I'll have for my kids. I think educating them on what drinking does to you, as well as encouraging them first to avoid alcohol but to be safe if they are going to disobey me is most important. Being too strict about it is only going to encourage them to rebel; that's what teenagers do.

Fredonia Coldheart · Post by **Fredonia Coldheart** » May 9, 2003, 12:59 pm

I grew up on a vineyard (grapes went to Welch's) so my dad made wine every year. He would have a small glass now and then after coming in from the vineyard on really cold days to help warm up. So I would have a sip now and then. Blackberry brandy was kept in the house for medicinal purposes. I didn't drink in high school and only socially drank in college. Now it's usually just a glass of wine with dinner or late at night with cheese and crackers.

My husband and I really like trying different wines. When we find a new one that we really like we will let our 12 year old daughter have a sip but she usually declines. She hates the taste of alcohol. Education is very important. We talk to her about alcohol, drugs, and sex - what the consequences are. We answer her questions with honest answers. This is one area we we don't have to worry about her. On the other hand, I love her dearly, but she is going to be one BITCH when she grows up. I pity the guy who marries her.

Moderation is the key to everything!

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » May 9, 2003, 1:02 pm

I grew up being offered wine at dinner / special occassions, etc. I think there is a baby picture of me sippin on a beer. (A downgrade from the baby picture of my dad and a bottle of whiskey - crazy irish parents).

My parents rule was that they knew I would probably drink underage, but that no matter what I was not to drive or get in a car with someone who had been drinking. I was to call them for a ride and they promised no questions asked, no groundings. I had to call them once. Went to a party that got out of control. My Dad held my stomach while I hurled and my Mom washed the puke out of my hair with vinegar (shampoo alone just wouldnt kill the stench), and I never got that drunk again.

Spangaloid_PE · Post by **Spangaloid_PE** » May 9, 2003, 2:06 pm

i couldn't stand the taste of alcohol as a kid so i stuck with smoking dope. it wasn't until i was 18/19 years old that beer started tasting good and once i hit 21 i was an alcoholic.

Spankes · Post by **Spankes** » May 9, 2003, 2:30 pm

The first time I really drank I was 13...my Aunt's wedding. It was fun. That summer I was telling my friends about it and 3 of us drank a fifth. One of them passed out and threw up in his sleep...thankfully I was awake still....spinning.

Anyway, I didnt drink for years after that. After I turned 16 my mother let me drink at home. She wouldnt go out and buy me beer, but If I had it at home then she wouldnt say I couldnt drink it. She felt that it was better I drink at home than anywhere else.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » May 9, 2003, 2:43 pm

My favorite slogan from a bar is from a college bar in Tucson called Dirtbags. Taken from "A part of growing up"

Dirtbags: It's a part of throwing up

Great T-Shirt

Velasca · Post by **Velasca** » May 9, 2003, 2:48 pm

My parents preferred that if I was going to experiment that it happen under their supervision. My dad was more lenient and often encouraged me to try things, except drugs. He handed me my first cigarette, beer, whiskey, sake, wine, etc. I think because my parents didn’t make a big issue out of it and let me try, I didn’t fight them on the issue, my curiosity was satisfied, and despite lots of other kids raving about drinking, it just wasn’t all that exciting or special.

As an adult I don’t do drugs or smoke, and only occasionally drink. Plus it helps that Grundale doesn’t do any of it either so I can be an oddball with him instead of just by myself.

Cartalas · Post by **Cartalas** » May 9, 2003, 3:05 pm

"I remember coming home one night after drinking too much (i think i was 17). I was in the bathroom throwing up for about 20 mins and woke up with the biggest hangover. My dad forced me to mow the lawn as soon as I got up... cruel but effective. "

Our Fathers must have gone to the same class on dealing with drunk kids.

I had to do the same thing.

Toshira · Post by **Toshira** » May 9, 2003, 6:35 pm

Have to agree that a lot of the hardcore drinking was before I became legal. Last time I threw up, I was on acid, so that wonderful experience curtailed my intake a bit.

Then one fateful day I went to get checked for all STDs with my roommate, between all the blood being taken and the little steel swab they shove in your urethera, I passed out. Went home, took a valium to calm down. Later that night went to a costume party as Humber Humbert (see RL pics thread) with a friend of mine, had a few hits, couple beers and some shitty blackberry brandy (see what you get sold when you ask a liquor store owner what child molesters drink)...had to hand over the keys to Lolita and crash at her place. Was sick for four days. Since then I haven't ever lost control.

Xzion · Post by **Xzion** » May 9, 2003, 7:52 pm

being spaniard i started drinking wine at the age of 5, and by the age of 7 i knew the difference between good rioja, faustinos and shitty 5 bucks a bottle wine

i used to get drunk pretty hard for fun and get uber stoned at the same time, nowadays i just like to grab a couple shots or a few drinks to catch a buzz or hit a bowl occasionally for the same purpose, not really into getting fucked up anymore...

Krindol · Post by **Krindol** » May 9, 2003, 8:15 pm

My first experience with alchol was christmas eve 1983. I was about 8 years old and looking forward to the next day when I recieved a strange phone call from my dad after he had been away from the house an unusually long time that day. He called to tell me (and my mom) not to worry about him, and that he would be home in a while. At that time mom was asleep, and I didnt know to ask where the fuck he was at.

He originally left the house that day to to last minnute christmas shopping for his father, and after being gone for 6 or 7 hours my mother and I decided we needed to go look for him. We had driven about two miles when he passed us going the other direction. My mom was kind of freaked because the was not usual behaviour for the man.

When we pulled into the driveway dad was rolling in the grass, the newly bought coffee maker was laying in the yard. I had no clue what was wrong with him, and remember being afraid of him for acting so strange.
As I watched from inside the house, my dad rolled around on the ground, puked his guts up, then wished all the neighbors a merry christmas.
It was my mom could do to get the 300lbs man inside.

To my mother and I, it looked as if someone had just beaten the shit out of him. His face was all fucked up, and he stunk of heavy alcohol.

I should tell you at this point where he had been. (He didnt tell us untill the next day) He had gotten shitfaced at the local service station which his best friend owned. 5 of them had tried to drink 4 fifths of Jack Daniels, chasing with an open pepsi machine. Needless to say, the JackD was the only thing still standing, but that didnt stop him from driving home. His face had gotten fucked up after he attempted to step off of the curb on his way out to the car. He said later that it looked like 10 feet down at the time.

Once inside he dropped his pants to his ankles, and made his way to the bathroom. One loud crash later he was laid out in the bathroom floor, head first through the bathroom wall.... backwards. I thought for sure he was in desperate need of medical attention, but mom was more worried about weather or not there had been another woman involved, and why someone had fucked his face up so bad.

The wall did not keep him. After finally doing whatever the fuck he was doing in the bathroom, he stepped out, pants still around the ankles, and made a mad dive for the bed which was only about 6 feet away. Sooperdrunk missed his assumed landing by mere inches, crashing face first into the steel bedframe. There he lay, face in the carpet, pants around ankles, still awake. Once mom had gotten him to bed, she asked him if any part of his face hurt. We were both stunned to hear "Nahh".

The next morning I woke to find him in the bathroom looking at his face in the mirror. He was touching parts of it to test for pain. It looked as if the whole damn thing hurt to me.

The whole experience took the want to drink out of him, and he never did anything like that again. Im sure the crease across the bridge of his nose where he broke it on bed frame served as a good reminder.

I, on the other hand, have not had a sober christmas since. ;P

Krin

Keverian FireCry · Post by **Keverian FireCry** » May 10, 2003, 12:02 am

My parents have let me drink occasionaly since i was 16 or 17, with them around. And i was given tastes of various alchohol since i was in maybe 7th grade. Never drank much at all till sophomore year in highschool when there were OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS more parties starting up(ironically this is because kids can drive at this point).

Almost all of my friends who have really strict parents about even light alchohol use are the ones who have problems abusing it, also the same with smoking. The only friends i know that smoke(cigarettes) are ones who have strict parents and they ahve been smoking since like middle school. My personal opinion is that most kids are going to drink at some point, whether their parents like it or not. As parents you might as well be there to teach them about it and respect it.

I think the problem with being strict about it is when the parents tell their kids they are never allowed to do it, but the parents use it themselves and often with their kids around.

The "im older than you so i can do it" routine works backwards.

murr · Post by **murr** » May 10, 2003, 1:05 am

as a currently drunk minor (as I post this), i'd just like to say, go underage drinking...yea

Clatis · Post by **Clatis** » May 10, 2003, 11:15 am

<- made the buying for minors poll =)

Anyways, im 17, and for the last 3 years or so ill get plastered on the weekends, not every weekend, but some of them, least once a month.

Getting liquor is easy, takes maybe 30min or so max to get enough for 6 people or so to get wasted. Getting bums is the easiest, or just havin some dude who works with you whose over 21 also works.

but my parents are like super strict on alcohol, cept my mom drinks a lot of wine, and my dad i dont think ive seen him with anything harder than a mikes hard lemonade in 6 years or so,

One time i had abotu 9 people over, and we had to get wasted off beer, and so i stored the 120'ish or so empty beer cans....under my driveway in the lil water pipe thing...Next big thunderstorm Woooooshhhhhh my yard has all those beer cans layin in it..and i got away with it by blaming it on the shithead down the street.

I havent been totally wasted in like, 3 months. When i was about 3months ago it was with my gf, and she got cought by her parents and like grounded for 3 weeks, then another 3 weeks for sneakin out in the middle of hte night with me....and im the one that quits drinkin from this lesson how gay is that.

But yea, tonights Prom, but im drivin so, yep.

seiffil · Post by **seiffil** » May 11, 2003, 1:33 am

I don't think I ever really got much of a talk about alcohol, my dad was always drinking, and still does. My first experience was before I was even in kindergarten and asked my dad what he was drinking, so he'd give a little white wine, or red wine every so often.

Whenever we visited his parents in NYC, it was customary for wine of some sort to be served at dinner, so again, I'd be given something to drink, even while being only like 9-10 years old. My mom wasn't too happy with it, but I was never given more then 1 glass. Not sure she knew I was given the moonshine his cousin's made though.

Throughout high school, the basic rule was don't drink and drive, either stay there, or call us. This made it hard when my sister and I were invited to parties, I'd get my beer, take one sip, then she'd find out grab a bottle drink it in front of the parents who were watching us, toss me the keys since we could only leave if one of us hadn't been drinking, and I had to give up the damn beer, and I hadn't been seen yet.

I still didn't drink too much during high school though, was too much of a risk with getting caught and kicked off of the teams I was on.

The approach that my parents took was probably what made me not feel so necessary to go out and find something to defy them. That and seeing my grandpa one night while visiting NY, lying on the grass outside the house passed out drunk.

Axien_Dellusions · Post by **Axien_Dellusions** » May 11, 2003, 1:59 am

I was allowed drinks every now and then. My parents bought for me after I turned 18 and I'm an occassional drinker now. Usually when I shoot pool at the local sports bar is when I get loaded due to I'm trying to keep up with my husband who has been drinking for 15+ years. I usually never do but I have fun trying

VeeshanVault

Minors and alcohol

Minors and alcohol

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