[Contest] - Limericks [done!]

Post by **pyrella** » May 8, 2003, 2:19 pm

In honor of teh drunken newfs - a Limerick contest! Same deal as everything else before - in theme or at the very least funny.

100 VV's to participants - no 'winner' per se, though feel free to donate a few extra VV's to the person who makes you laugh the most.

This one ends tomorrow night/saturday morning, so get em up quick!

Rianna · Post by **Rianna** » May 8, 2003, 2:23 pm

Damn, I already used my good ones!

Sabek · Post by **Sabek** » May 8, 2003, 2:42 pm

There was an old man from Heath
Who sat on a pair of false teeth
He said with a start
Oh God bless my heart
I've bitten myself from beneath

Ajran · Post by **Ajran** » May 8, 2003, 2:42 pm

There was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I admit
I am a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save".

Rojer · Post by **Rojer** » May 8, 2003, 3:04 pm

The Rathe sucks OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS
Should've used more forethought
Designers are smokin' too much crack
My gun is about to go Clack Clack.
Bullet proof vest, I hope you got.

I think USA has a big problem.
I think we can blame that damn Sadam.
I bet he thinks hes just fine.
But he should know hes running out of time.
I wanna be the man who can say he gotem.

My new girl makes OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of fuss.
I was about to get laid then I saw the puss.
I ran out the door.
She said, I'm not a whore.
Then she called me a cuss.

I suppose I can make another one for shits.
I am such a big fan of the tits.
They say some women have oral fixations.
Most guys will help with that participation.
The women say, damn, it barely fits.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » May 8, 2003, 3:42 pm

This guy chased Citra with big love
She ran off and gave him a shove
He held on her arm
trying his lame ass charm
Until Citra showed off his cock above

masteen · Post by **masteen** » May 8, 2003, 3:43 pm

I've dug up a childhood classic:

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who'd dick was so long he could suck it.
It dragged on the ground,
When he walked around,
So he carried it rolled in a bucket.

Ajran · Post by **Ajran** » May 8, 2003, 3:48 pm

hmm not how i remember the nantucket one...

There once was a man from nantucket
with a dick so long he could suck it
he said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
if my ear were a cunt I would fuck it..

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » May 8, 2003, 4:02 pm

There was once a woman from Wheeling
Who had a most peculiar feeling
So she laid on her back
to tickle her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling

Rianna · Post by **Rianna** » May 8, 2003, 4:03 pm

There once was a man named Ray
Who fashioned a cunt out of clay
But the heat of his prick
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » May 8, 2003, 4:03 pm

There was once an old man from Trent
Whose dick was so long that it bent
to save him some trouble
he stuck it in double
So instead of coming, he went.

Rianna · Post by **Rianna** » May 8, 2003, 4:04 pm

Here's to the girl named Louise
Who's pubic hair hung to her knees
the crabs came together,
and knitted a sweater
so in Winter her cunt would not freeze

Rianna · Post by **Rianna** » May 8, 2003, 4:10 pm

hehhe, here is one for Thess!

There once was a woman named Thess
Bisexual, she would confess
She loved a good dick
but pussy she'd lick
and leave both a wet gooey mess

Tenuvil · Post by **Tenuvil** » May 8, 2003, 4:16 pm

There once was a penguin named Tux,
Who noticed that Microsoft sucks.
So his OS is free.
And will continue to be
Because it's not done for the bucks.

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » May 8, 2003, 4:35 pm

Just Curious before I even begin to try and make my own...

Is a limerick like this with rhyme?
A
A
B
B
A

and is there a certain number of syllables required per line? Or is it just kinda play it by ear?

Mezzdat · Post by **Mezzdat** » May 8, 2003, 4:37 pm

There once was a collage made of faces,
Ustins all over the places!
They got lots of snatch,
Man they were a catch,
Now they just sit on thier aces!

Rianna · Post by **Rianna** » May 8, 2003, 4:44 pm

There was an old fellow named Paul
Whose prick was exceedingly small
When in bed with a lay
He could screw her all day
Without touching the vaginal wall.

or

There was a young man from Bellaire
Who was screwing his girl on the stair.
But the banister broke,
So he doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.

Rianna · Post by **Rianna** » May 8, 2003, 5:12 pm

hehe, a few more

There once was a woman from Arden
Who was seen sucking a man in the garden
Her mother said, "Flo,
Where does it all go??
And she said, "Gulp, Beg your pardon?"

There once was a girl from Sidney
Who could take it right up to her kidney
But a guy from Quebec
Shoved it up to her neck
He had a long one, now didn't he.

Clatis · Post by **Clatis** » May 8, 2003, 5:24 pm

damn, you guys come up with this shit? and i thouht i was perverted

Kguku · Post by **Kguku** » May 8, 2003, 5:30 pm

There is this mod named pyrella
who had a thing for some Xouqoa fella
One they got hot
and had sex a lot
Now they really enjoy man love I tellya

Extraliten · Post by **Extraliten** » May 8, 2003, 5:39 pm

The cheerleader skirt of Sue Deaver,
Barely covered her pantyless beaver,
Which she used in her act,
As a means to distract,
The opposing team's star wide receiver

Rianna · Post by **Rianna** » May 8, 2003, 5:43 pm

There were 3 friends from Newfoundland
Who when drank, got quite out of hand
Whether headbutting walls
Or using tribbles as balls
You could never say that they were bland.

Lynxe · Post by **Lynxe** » May 8, 2003, 6:33 pm

Meet my poetic friend, the dirty ho named Rianna

who picked his character for her boob size and mana

He thought flatulance was a true art

Till Zoggmak woke him with a HUGE fart

At his favorite fan faire in Las Vegas Nevada!

Acies · Post by **Acies** » May 8, 2003, 7:28 pm

There once was a man named Xouqou,
Head of the Veeshan Vault show.
His love is Pyrella,
Who is also a fella,
In the relationship though, who is da ho?

(Nothin but love for you two

)

Spangaloid_PE · Post by **Spangaloid_PE** » May 8, 2003, 8:33 pm

frazy velvet, frazy velvet
where did you get your dime store shoes?
if i had a dollar for everytime i said your name,
i'd have 2 dollars
frazy velvet
3

oh wait, that's not a limerick...

here's one...

i once knew a girl named Sue
she had no idea what to do
so i gave her a buck
and she gave me a fuck
was so good, when i left, forgot my shoe

Syndaen Crystalthorn · Post by **Syndaen Crystalthorn** » May 8, 2003, 8:50 pm

There once was a man from Peru.
Who went for a ride in his canoe.
While dreaming of Venus,
and stroking his penis,
He woke up in a puddle of Goo!

Fizzlewhip · Post by **Fizzlewhip** » May 8, 2003, 9:47 pm

There once was a lady from Arden
who sucked off a fella in a garden
He daid my dear Flo,
Where does that stuff go?
She said "Gulp" I beg your pardon?

Mumblefug · Post by **Mumblefug** » May 8, 2003, 11:05 pm

There once was an old man from Nicaragua,
He bought a whole case of Viagra,
His wife wandered in,
His dick reached to his chin,
When she touched it he came like Niagra

Korell · Post by **Korell** » May 9, 2003, 1:11 am

There once was a guy named Korell,
who never had really good oral.
So he found a slutty ho,
and told give him a blow.
This story has no moral.

Korell · Post by **Korell** » May 9, 2003, 1:11 am

Did you give out the 100VVs from the MSPaint Monday contest yet? I am missing mine

Spangaloid_PE · Post by **Spangaloid_PE** » May 9, 2003, 1:15 am

Korell wrote:Did you give out the 100VVs from the MSPaint Monday contest yet? I am missing mine

*psst* read the MSPaint thread

Braxter · Post by **Braxter** » May 9, 2003, 11:03 am

There once was this druid you know
Who came here from solusek ro
And spammed us with gay
Polls and anime
Till we told him GTFO.

But he still had the FoH site
To spam with all of his might
And Furor to stalk
Whose virtual cock
The dr00d had his lips around tight.

Lweniel · Post by **Lweniel** » May 9, 2003, 11:20 am

There was a young man from japan
Who's limericks never did scan, or have any meter whatsoever
They were always too short.

Ahmik · Post by **Ahmik** » May 9, 2003, 11:26 am

I sure hope I don't get in trouble for this...

There was a mangina named Jice
Masterbations was his only vice
He thought with a grin
As he slipped it in
"Bitch, my hand feels twice as nice"

Braxter · Post by **Braxter** » May 9, 2003, 11:36 am

HI VESHANVUALT MY NAEM IS BRAX
YUOR MEGAHURTZ I WILL HAX
BRITTNEY IS GAY
OR BI NE WAY
HE LIEKS LICKING MANGINA SACKS!!1!

ROFLL

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » May 9, 2003, 1:14 pm

There once was a board called VV
where anyone lurking could see
that Dregor's a tool
but Sparty's way cool
and Acies can't count up to three.

Acies · Post by **Acies** » May 9, 2003, 3:48 pm

Shaerra wrote:There once was a board called VV
where anyone lurking could see
that Dregor's a tool
but Sparty's way cool
and Acies can't count up to three.

Man, I got pwned

Hehehe, makes me feel like a Gully dwarf:

One, two, two, two, two

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » May 9, 2003, 5:02 pm

Acies wrote:One, two, two, two, two

That made me laugh, and I was in a Shaerra mood. (Getting pwned too much in LoGD)

Acies · Post by **Acies** » May 9, 2003, 5:17 pm

Shaerra wrote:
Acies wrote:One, two, two, two, two
That made me laugh, and I was in a Shaerra mood. (Getting pwned too much in LoGD)

There once was a farmgirl called Shaerra,
The villagers all said that they hate ya.
So she slept out of town,
got pwned like clown,
By someother intrepid game playa

Spangaloid_PE · Post by **Spangaloid_PE** » May 9, 2003, 5:22 pm

"shut up bitch!" he yelled at her
"i fucking hate you!" she said in a loud blur
he grabbed her as if to be a vice
she pulled the trigger not once but twice
she ran off in the distance, blood covered

Toshira · Post by **Toshira** » May 9, 2003, 6:07 pm

Slyvos was a young lad from Veeshan,
Who’d cybered a list many were on,
He’d brag “endless quivering!”
To keep ladies shivering,
If only he’d fess up about Juan ~

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » May 9, 2003, 6:31 pm

There once was a man from Madras
Who's balls were made out of Brass
When he rubbed them Together
They played Stormy Weather
And lightning shot out of his Ass

Soriathus Serpentine · Post by **Soriathus Serpentine** » May 9, 2003, 8:06 pm

Well Aranuil is best dressed I suppose
but I know something no one else knows
As a young child
he drove Tunare wild
because he was always wearing her clothes!

Soriathus Serpentine · Post by **Soriathus Serpentine** » May 9, 2003, 8:17 pm

This is one of my fav's

There once was a frenchman named Jacques
who's love life ran 'round the clock!
The women reveared him
and some of them feared him
Because he had a 19 inch...

Scarf! It was a horible dreadful thing!

Asheran Mojomaster · Post by **Asheran Mojomaster** » May 9, 2003, 8:33 pm

There once was a man named Asheran
Who fucked up his hand on his spearin
Now he cant jack off
And he has lots of sauce
Built way on up to his earrin

Soriathus Serpentine · Post by **Soriathus Serpentine** » May 9, 2003, 8:49 pm

Oh oh, this one is COMPLETELY original
Ok so I don't know a monk named Zidaine, but it's still funny.

There once was a monk named Zidaine
who really enjoyed a good train
He went to Paudal
and agroed them all
So in front of the newbies he'd feign!

Laliana · Post by **Laliana** » May 10, 2003, 5:54 am

I love these contests!

Kelgar · Post by **Kelgar** » May 10, 2003, 6:45 am

There was once a gay paladin named Cthuldan
Who's face now seems to be quite golden
He's a bit fruity and dim
Like Stiffler before him
When piss rained he wasn't beholdin'

Kguku · Post by **Kguku** » May 10, 2003, 7:12 am

There was this GM named Saiphos
Who always pretended he was moss
One day he was stepped on by an Troll
And tossed their whole race in a hole
Now the Trolls have to serve their new Frog boss.

Xyun · Post by **Xyun** » May 10, 2003, 8:29 am

There once was a guild named P.D.
Their leaders were corrupt and seedy
Their kills weren't legit
Their guild went to shit
That's what they got for being so greedy