On behalf of Canadians everywhere....

Animalor · Post by **Animalor** » February 28, 2003, 4:04 pm

*edit* To clear things up a bit, This Hour Has 22 Minutes is a current events satire show. They make fun of a lot of things but about 75% of their content comes from Canadian politics and whoever's president of the US at the current moment.
http://cbc.ca/22minutes/

These is also a show in the same branshes called the "Royal Canadian Air Farce"
http://cbc.ca/airfarce/
*end edit*

Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes CBC Television:

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.

He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank You.

Cartalas · Post by **Cartalas** » February 28, 2003, 4:36 pm

Im sorry you couldnt defend yourself against a hoard of barbarians holding spears.

Im sorry your borders have about as much security as wet tissue paper.

Animalor · Post by **Animalor** » February 28, 2003, 4:54 pm

Im sorry you couldnt defend yourself against a hoard of barbarians holding spears.

We give them hockey sticks and money and make hockey players out of them.

Im sorry your borders have about as much security as wet tissue paper.

We in Canada have come to the realisation that people actually want to live in North America. If they wanna come live over here we give them the opportunity to.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » February 28, 2003, 5:07 pm

You can have them. We have way more than our share. Don't see too many refugees rafting into your country now do you?

Cartalas · Post by **Cartalas** » February 28, 2003, 5:13 pm

Animalor wrote:
Im sorry you couldnt defend yourself against a hoard of barbarians holding spears.
We give them hockey sticks and money and make hockey players out of them.

Im sorry your borders have about as much security as wet tissue paper.
We in Canada have come to the realisation that people actually want to live in North America. If they wanna come live over here we give them the opportunity to.

The problem is everytime you flush they head or way.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » February 28, 2003, 5:24 pm

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:You can have them. We have way more than our share. Don't see too many refugees rafting into your country now do you?

other than cuba you don't see it in the US either.

actually canada has a problem with asian refugees sneaking in in shipping crates and large tankers.

just thought I'd correct you. again.

Kluden · Post by **Kluden** » February 28, 2003, 5:28 pm

*edit Me "just not getting it"...so deleted reply

Vetiria · Post by **Vetiria** » February 28, 2003, 5:31 pm

Cartalas wrote:Im sorry your borders have about as much security as wet tissue paper.

And the US's border is any different? I remember reading somewhere that 400 Mexicans come into the US every night illegally, which seems like a very underestimated number considering how large the border is. There's nothing but a 10ft chain fence that marks the US/Mexico border.

miir · Post by **miir** » February 28, 2003, 5:33 pm

Kluden wrote:If your astute reporter were to check popular vote for the past election here in the U.S., well, he would see that the majority of america did not indeed vote for what he feels all americans are...morons.

Rick Mercer is a comedian, asshead.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » February 28, 2003, 5:37 pm

yeah the lax border reputation comes from the fact that one of the 911 hijackers maybe might have come in through canada. don't pay attention to the fact that the other 13 definitely came in through the states, lived in and learned how to fly jets in the states as well, but canada needs to work on their border security because obviously canada is a haven for terrorism.

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » February 28, 2003, 5:41 pm

This argument is getting gheyer by the minute.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » February 28, 2003, 5:41 pm

kyoukan type-R wrote:... because obviously canada is a haven for terrorism.

I fucking knew it! I saw some spy photos of Canadian terrorists training with chainsaws! They MUST be stopped!!!

Kluden · Post by **Kluden** » February 28, 2003, 5:45 pm

Miir wrote:Rick Mercer is a comedian, asshead.

Obviously of high respect and success in the comedic world...since I knew who he was... (that is comedic sarcasm)

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » February 28, 2003, 6:05 pm

yes all comedians that focus their material entirely on canadian issues should be well known by non-canadians. also, you are not a stupid fucking moron.

Jaxomer · Post by **Jaxomer** » February 28, 2003, 6:06 pm

Maybe G.W. should declare Canada as being a part of the "Axis of Evil (tm)". You're on our shit list now!

Jaxomer · Post by **Jaxomer** » February 28, 2003, 6:06 pm

Woo, double post. Extra /pharm

Kluden · Post by **Kluden** » February 28, 2003, 6:24 pm

Kyoukan type-R wrote:also, you are not a stupid fucking moron.

Thanks Kyo, I appreciate your sentiment...oh fuck beans...you were doing sarcasm too, werent you?

Anyhoo, it is friday, and I will be sneaking out of work early to partake in consumption of libations....all of which are probably imported....

See you all on monday.

miir · Post by **miir** » February 28, 2003, 6:27 pm

Kluden wrote:
Miir wrote:Rick Mercer is a comedian, asshead.
Obviously of high respect and success in the comedic world...since I knew who he was... (that is comedic sarcasm)

Is that the new measure of one success as a comedian?

He does this great bit called 'talking to americans'.
He exploits american ignorance of canada and gets people to say the supidest, most hillarious things. He's interviewed governers, university professors and even Dubya.

"Bush, for example, didn't even blink last fall (2000) on the presidential campaign trail when Mercer brought him greetings from "Prime Minister Poutine."

"Congratulations, Canada, on making Beaver Balls your national dish."

Atokal · Post by **Atokal** » February 28, 2003, 6:41 pm

kyoukan type-R wrote:
Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:You can have them. We have way more than our share. Don't see too many refugees rafting into your country now do you?
other than cuba you don't see it in the US either.

actually canada has a problem with asian refugees sneaking in in shipping crates and large tankers.

just thought I'd correct you. again.

DAMN YELLOW MAN SNEAKING INTO OUR COUNTRY TO IMPROVE THEIR WAY OF LIFE!1!1! I SAY SHOOT THEM ALL.

Ceredwin · Post by **Ceredwin** » February 28, 2003, 6:56 pm

I'm sorry you are Canadian?

Toshira · Post by **Toshira** » February 28, 2003, 7:32 pm

Damn. I thought it was funny. Can't you fuckers laugh at yourselves now and again? Sheesh.

Legenae · Post by **Legenae** » February 28, 2003, 7:44 pm

miir wrote:
"Bush, for example, didn't even blink last fall (2000) on the presidential campaign trail when Mercer brought him greetings from "Prime Minister Poutine."

That was the best

masteen · Post by **masteen** » February 28, 2003, 7:50 pm

Bush, for example, didn't even blink last fall (2000) on the presidential campaign trail when Mercer brought him greetings from "Prime Minister Poutine."

Legenae · Post by **Legenae** » February 28, 2003, 7:55 pm

masteen wrote:
Bush, for example, didn't even blink last fall (2000) on the presidential campaign trail when Mercer brought him greetings from "Prime Minister Poutine."

There is no Prime Minister Poutine in Canada. Poutine is actually something you eat... french fries with gravy and cheese. It's actually quite good.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » February 28, 2003, 8:30 pm

Legenae wrote:
masteen wrote:
Bush, for example, didn't even blink last fall (2000) on the presidential campaign trail when Mercer brought him greetings from "Prime Minister Poutine."

There is no Prime Minister Poutine in Canada. Poutine is actually something you eat... french fries with gravy and cheese. It's actually quite good.

Id probably just shake his hand as well and move along. No time for jackasses!

The real Prime Minister! Canada's Military cutbacks didn't help with other expenses I guess.

Legenae · Post by **Legenae** » February 28, 2003, 9:00 pm

Winnow wrote:
Legenae wrote:
masteen wrote:
Bush, for example, didn't even blink last fall (2000) on the presidential campaign trail when Mercer brought him greetings from "Prime Minister Poutine."

There is no Prime Minister Poutine in Canada. Poutine is actually something you eat... french fries with gravy and cheese. It's actually quite good.
Id probably just shake his hand as well and move along. No time for jackasses!

The real Prime Minister! Canada's Military cutbacks didn't help with other expenses I guess.

Oh I'm not a fan of our Prime Minister heh. I think I'd rather see "Poutine" in office

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » March 1, 2003, 3:08 am

Rick Mercer owns. I loved his rants back on 22 minutes.

As for not knowing who he is and critizising his "world wide popularity", thats just doesn't make sense. Im sure there are famous people from wherever you're from that the world doesn't know yet.

He didn't sell out to the US...yet.

Kelshara · Post by **Kelshara** » March 1, 2003, 12:59 pm

I have learned one thing since I moved to USA: Americans have a harder time laughing at themself than anyone else. Not really an insult or anything, just an observation I've made.

Quarkk · Post by **Quarkk** » March 2, 2003, 3:51 am

Haha!

I can laugh! I am laughing.

I am amused.