Lost Boys (1987)
A family relocates to California where the oldest son gets involved with a gang of rough and feisty teenage vampires. There are some fun twists and turns during this movie, and Corey Feldman turns in one of his best 80's film roles. What an ending! Forget The Usual Suspects, Seven, American Beauty, or The 6th Sense... When I was a kid, the ending of this move caught me completely off guard.
The Lost Boys is a vampire movie, teen film, and classic 80's flick all rolled into 1 hour and 37 minutes of viewing pleasure. When I think back on films during my youth that helped defined my love of movies, Lost Boys springs to mind in the same way as Goonies, Ghostbusters, and Big Trouble in Little China. It has a little bit of everything and never takes itself too seriously. Yet, it also has momments of genuine scares and violence. The updating of the vampire mythos is done extremely well IMO. Looking back, I learned many vampire superstitions from this film and it made me curious to find out more. A great follow-up to this movie is Fright Night. Watch them back to back sometime and see how Hollywood succesfully updated vampires and brought them into 80's suburbia.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
Here are the 4 things you need to know about this movie before you decide if it's something you might enjoy.
1-Blood drinking, alien Klowns.
2-Popcorn guns.
3-Ray guns that cocoon their targets in cotten candy.
4-Circus tent spaceships.
If the above sound totally fucking awesome to you, welcome to my world.
I can't put my finger on why I enjoy this movie so much. It's poorly acted and often times so silly you can't believe what you just saw. I guess it's because this movie captures that 80's spirit of film making so well. The Klown effects are top notch, even by today's standards. The music is also perfect for the movie and oh so 80's. My wife kind of gave me "the look" when I brought it upstairs to watch, but in the end she said she really enjoyed herself. She even suggested we have a scary circus theme for our next Halloween party and play this in the background. I have to say, the very thought almost made my head explode. Cotten Candy. Carmel Corn. Scary Puppets. Cream Pies. Corn dogs. Elephant Ears. Roasted Peanuts. I officially cannot wait until next year. We can even play the latest Zombies!!! boardgame expansion "Send in the Clowns".
Btw, the quality of the DVD is so much better than what I was expecting. It's sharp and crisp with great sound. This is one of those DVDs that I've held off buying for years and now I wished I would've gotten it sooner.
Below (2002)
This movie went straight to DVD and I have no idea why. Darren Aronofsky (Pi, Requiem For a Dream, The Fountain) helped write and produce this never heard of feature. It's about a haunted WW2 submarine. Yeah, you read that right.
The submarine crew picks up some survivors from a torpedo attack and head back towards the mainland. Of course, spooky shit starts happening, like morse code being banged on the outside of the hull, and people catching glimpses of dead things and ghosts in shadows. On top of that, the ship itself becomes plagued with problems and seems to always want to return back to the spot of the torpedo attack.
If you think about it, this movie has all the greatest and virtually required prerequisites for a fantastic horror movie. Isolation? Check. Confinement? Check. Paranoia? Check. Add in ample opportunities for total darkness and of course, water, just to make things more interesting.
If you watch this movie in the daytime while playing PC games or something, it may not seem to be all that great. However, if you watch it at night with a nice sound system, you're going to get some goosebumps. The scares include all the basics, from jumps and loud noises to drawn out creepy build-ups. There is even a great depth charge scene reminiscent of Das Boot in it's intensity.
I thought Below was an above average scary movie. I was dissappointed to read only fair reviews. I would rate it a solid 8/10.
In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
Ah, the thinking man's horror movie. This movie starts at the end and tells the backstory of how the beginning came to be. Did that make sense? You may think that once or twice while watching the movie too!
This is about an insurance fraud detective who is hired by a publishing company to find it's elusive and weird horror novelist, Sutter Kain. The detective starts to think the whole thing is a publicity stunt set up by the publisher to promote the last book in a series of horror novels. He sets out to find Sutter and loads of eeriness ensue. The creeps and scares slowly ramp up as the movie goes on, and I have to say, I really liked the ending. The movie unfolds at a good pace. This movie is a staple during my yearly Halloween movie marathons.
I would rank this as one of the only movies that has done a somewhat decent job approaching HP Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos. It also has scary deformed children, a black church, and an original take on the end of the world. All these things are huge bonuses for me.
Hatchet (2007)
A group of people take a haunted swamp boat tour during Marti Gras and get stuck in the swamp at night with an axe murder on the loose. BAM! That's it.
I promise that you'll get your fill of scares, tits, and gore if you watch this movie. (Especially the gore) It's not Shakespeare, nor is it trying to be. However, this movie is without a doubt the best 80's horror movie ever made in the year 2007. Hatchet is to slasher flicks, what Slither was to 80's invasion flicks (like Night of the Creeps). Also of note, there is no CGI gore at all. Everything you see is practical effects. It was a welcome change of pace!
The creators obviously wanted the villian, Victor Crowely, to be the next Jason/Micheal Meyers. I think they failed because Victor Crowely is just not scary at all. The make-up effects are more stupid than frightening. He looks like the retard from Goonies. When they were explaining his backstory, all I could think of was the episode of South Park where Cartman makes up the creature known as Scuzzlebutt. I do give this movie some major props for not trying so hard to hide the obvious rip off though. In the end, it's actually a great homage to those types of slasher flicks. It was surprisingly funny as well. I wouldn't hesitate to categorize Hatchet as a horror/comedy. It simply has a much stronger emphisis on horror. Keep an eye out for cameos by the guys who played Freddy Kreuger, Candyman, and Jason Vorheese.
Eight Legged Freaks (2002)
Toxic waste + exotic spider farm = awesome
We need more giant spider movies. Seriously. Hell, I'll even take more regular sized spider movies. I agree with Barry Sonnenfeld by saying that spiders are the perfect villans. When I see them in video games, I take glee in killing them. When they are a boss battle, they are usually the most memorable boss battle in that particular game. Daniel Craig needs to fight either a giant spider, or a horde of normal spiders in the next Bond film. It would be the greatest movie ever made.
Speaking of great movies, 8 Legged Freaks isn't one of them. Not by a long shot. However, it is fun. The only thing that really annoys me about this movie is the fluffy sounding "voices" they gave the spiders. They all sound like Gizmo from Gremlins. It's distracting and stupid. The spiders themselves are great though, and that is where this movie shines. There are also some good wacky momments that make me chuckle everytime. Keep an eye open for a young Scarlett Johansson. It kind of makes you feel icky because she's only 15 or 16 in this movie, but she's already smoking hot and makes you want to jack off.
This is a decent horror/comedy, which happens to be one of my favorite genres. Therefore, I tend to go easy on them when doing reviews
I've been looking for a copy of this for years, but could only find the fullscreen versions when I was lucky enough to actually find a copy in a store. I went ahead and tacked it on my last Amazon order since it was Halloween time and I only needed a couple more bucks to get free shipping on my order.Eight Legged Freaks is the kind of movie that I would've loved to have seen as a kid. Like most horror/comedies, I think it's a great introduction to scary movies for younger viewers.
Monster House (2006)
A CGI kids movie about a house in the burbs that is so haunted, it's actually alive. A few neighborhood kids ban together to defeat the house.
This is a kids movie? Fuck that noise. If I were a kid this movie would scare the shit out of me. This is like the Poltergeist of today. Parents will take kids to see it thinking it will be all cutsie and fun, but it's fucking terrifying. People die. Lots of people! To be fair, the various victims walk out of the basement at the end showing that everyone is really ok, but you certianly don't know that at the time of the deaths!
Now, I'm not suggesting it's scary for an adult at all. It's really pretty fun IMO. I found it a refreshing take on the whole haunted house theme. However, I would never subject a child to this flick. It's rated PG-13 for a reason! This sure the hell ain't Finding Nemo.
If/when they release a 3D version of this, I am so going to double dip and add it to the collection. I watched Polar Express in 3D the other night and was floored. Monster House uses the same motion capture technology as Polar Express, so I would imagine it would be just as impressive.
Willard (2003)
Marty McFly's dad can communicate with rats.
I don't understand why this movie doesn't get more respect. I think it's one of the very few horror remake/reinventions that hits the mark on pretty much every level. This movie isn't overly scary to me, but I'm not afraid of rats either. If you don't like rats, I imagine this movie would be pretty hard to watch. I thought it was directed well and I felt sympathy for Willard.
Incident at Loch Ness (2004)
A mockumentary of a film within a film about a film. Confused? You should be!
Ok. You have a film crew who is filming a guy who is making a documentary about the making of a movie about the loch ness monster myth. I think I got that right. Anyway, this movie is an extremely fun little mental trip. As the movie unravels, you start to find out that some people from one of the film crews are perpetuating the hoax of Nessie. Eventually, really scary shit starts happening on a foggy night on the production boat. Is it real? Is someone fucking with them? Is the entire movie a hoax to perpetuate the myth? During the movie itself, you will pretty much be focusing on one scene at a time, but after it's all over it sure is fun looking back and trying to figure things out!
This is yet another one of those movies that no one has ever heard of, yet it's better then the vast majority of Hollywood horror that hits the theaters and gets loads of advertising. Give this one a chance if you see it!
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)
One of the very best tellings of Dracula IMO. Gary Oldman was amazing, Winona Ryder shoplifted my heart, and Anthony Hopkins played one of the best versions of Anthony Hopkins I have ever seen in on film. I think Keanu was still pretty wooden during this movie, but he's made a fortune doing that so I'll just shut up.
When this movie opened up with the stabbing and bleeding of crosses, golden cherubs weeping blood, and the denouncement of God, I knew my face was going to get a dropkick of awesome. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't any of that! The movie only got better from there. Sex with a werewolf creature? Dracula turning into a bunch of rats? Victorian era titties? Check, check, and double check. It even had those 3 lesbo vampires screwing Neo and eating a baby!
Whenever I catch this is on TV, I will always watch it. It doesn't matter at what point in the film I stumble upon it either. It's great from it's impalement beginning to it's decapitation ending. I think it holds up really well 15+ years later.
Interestingly, if you've ever seen the original 1922 black and white, german silent move "Nosferatu", you would see how far ahead of it's time it truely was. Coppola lifts many shots directly from that movie. Maybe I'll get bored and do a bunch of reviews on silent movies sometime. Movies like Metropolis, Nosferatu, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and many others hold up very well IMO!
What I really remember most about this movie was that I took a girl on a date to see this opening night at the theater and had to wait in line about 3 people behind my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend. My date kept saying "why does that girl keep giving me dirty looks?" Awkward!
