Drama 101: A user's guide to the #1 game in TSO and SL
By Pat the Rat
Ordinarily I prefer dishing to mentoring, but so many many sims have come to me and said "Pat, how can I be playah and create mucho drama in my little virtual orbit." It's a fair question, and well, frankly, when they come to Pat with that question they've come to the right person. Following are some simple rules for being an 3L33T Drama Playah in TSO, SL, There, or any other social game…
Step 1: Find your mark. Keep your eye on the prize here. Your goal is to find some sensitive soul, play them, and crush their little heart. For this reason your mark should be sensitive, and not particularly familiar with the art of sim love. This is good. You want an innocent. When you are finished with them what you really want is for them to be afraid to venture back into another virtual relationship. If you're really good you can even put them off of real life relationships.
Step 2: Study your mark. You've found someone that has a heart worth breaking. Don't go charging in, however. Take your time. Study your prey. Drop in now and then. Chat them up. Leave a bit too early. Get to know them on the "just friend" level. Use this time to gather info. Every bit helps. You never know what might help when you drop the hammer on them.
Step 3: The seduction begins. Start dropping in more regularly. IM them as soon as they come in game. But be coy. Drop in and out of game on them. Keep them off balance. Make them log on praying you'll be there, and then only be there half the time. Tease them. Flirt with them. Flatter them.
Step 4: Make them feel unique. You are a playah, but you don't want them to know that, and if they already know you're a playah you've got to figure out a way to make them feel extra special. "It's never been like this before." If you can get away with it tell them you've never experienced sim love before. If you can't get away with that you need to think up some reason why this one is special: first time I felt like I had a real friend, first time I could share my deepest feelings, first time I felt comfortable talking about x. You know the drill.
Step 5: Plead vulnerability. If you insist that you are vulnerable, they may overlook their own vulnerability. Insist that you feel vulnerable with someone so much older/younger, smarter/intuitive, energetic/thoughtful, disciplined/spontaneous. Keep reminding them how you are afraid they might dump you.
Step 6: Cyber their little asses off. Cyber isn't crucial in this game but it doesn't hurt. Now the key rule here is that you are not cybering to get off, you are cybering to get them to fall for you – to make them vulnerable. As such, for heaven's sake keep typing with both hands and work them over good. You can get off later to some porn or something.
Step 7: Confess your love (i.e. pretend to confess your love). Do it with great hesitation. Hint that you *want* to say you love them but don't spill it all at once. Let them cajole it out of you. Now cajole the same out of them. Once they say it, get them to say it a lot – this will reinforce their feelings. But don't you repeat *your* confession of love. Now and then is good enough. Now is the time to keep your prey off balance.
Step 8: Keep your prey off balance. Now is the time to start ignoring your prey for large stretches of time. Maybe at the end of the day you can hook up with them, but optimally for every hour you spend with them you should spend three hours ignoring them.
Step 9: Wait for their feelings to max out. This is an art, not a science, but after time you will be able to tell when your prey loves you so much they are about to explode from the sheer weight of emotions and endorphins).
Step 10: Slowly cut them off. Just dropping the hammer is no good. Taking a week to cut them loose will maximize both the pain, humiliation, and drama. Start ignoring them way too much. Stop trying to think of good excuses for ignoring them. Begin hanging with other potential cyber-partners. Don't hide it. Flaunt it.
Step 11: End it, but don't tell them that you are ending it. An honest conversation would only help them to get over it and move on. You don't want that. You want this to be unresolved. Don't tell them what went wrong. Don't talk to them at all. If they contact you be elusive. Break off the conversation ASAP. Remember, honesty is for chumps, not playahs like you!
Step 12: If you did step 11 right then your prey will be heartbroken and in a panic all at the same time, but if you are a true playah this is where the fun just begins. Maybe your prey will try to contact you ("I just want to talk, I don't understand" – pathetic, no?). This is when you can tell them to stop stalking you. Threaten to report them. Even if they stop, you might want to report them anyway. You certainly want to tell all your friends that you are being stalked.
Step 13: It's all over now except for the humiliation, which you can extend for a long time if you handle this skillfully. Be sure to regale your friends with stories that maximize the humiliation of your prey. Embellish them if you can. Remember they embarrassment phase can go on well into your next mark – indeed flaunting your next mark in game will help to add some delicious embarrassment to top off your humiliation of the first mark.
Congratulations! You are now a playah! See you in game!
MMORPG Drama 101
Moderators: Funkmasterr, noel
MMORPG Drama 101
I found this on a SL website (applies to any MMORPG though). It was written back in 2004. I thought some of you would get a chuckle out of it. There will always be asses out there!
