VeeshanVault Community Blog Thread

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » August 3, 2005, 4:23 am

I miss Pilsburry's useless commentaries. I propose to make this thread a place to add a comment about your day that is completely worthless to others. I'll start.

Yesterday morning I was clipping my toenails in the bathroom and didn't notice when one of the nail clippings went flying away and landed on the shelf above my toilet. Oblivious to what had happened, I went about my business for the day and had a great one. Last night I noticed the clipping and flushed it. Today didn't go so well. I'm wondering if those freaky people that save toenails might be on to something.

Tegellan · Post by **Tegellan** » August 3, 2005, 6:51 am

This morning i got up, took some laundry down to the washer, then did the dishes. It seems like my allergies are acting up a bit today, so i am not sure I can go diving this afternoon anyway, my nose is all clogged up right now.

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » August 3, 2005, 7:03 am

This thread is useless without mentioning the girl you were obsessing over during the day and how you came to the conclusion that they were lesbian or ugly in the end.

Mr Bacon · Post by **Mr Bacon** » August 3, 2005, 7:53 am

I woke up to the radio morning show and took a shower. I proceeded to dress and walk over to this computer before I head to work.

SOMETIMES I HAVE TO CUT MYSELF JUST TO FEEL SOMETHING aaaaah emo

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » August 3, 2005, 10:42 am

my cat scan shows an inoperable brain tumor
and i have the runs.

nobody · Post by **nobody** » August 3, 2005, 11:04 am

i couldn't find any clean underware this morning so i am going commando in a military uniform. oh, and i ran over an emo on my way to work.

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » August 3, 2005, 11:38 am

I love lamp!

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » August 3, 2005, 11:43 am

I was going poop when I noticed a spider running along the floor. I used toilet paper to pick it up and drop it in the toilet, sending it towards it's whirling poopie death.

It was only after I left the bathroom that I realized that I may not have had the spider firmly imbedded in the TP when I grasped it off the floor and I started to think maybe he dropped out and was currently in my pants which were around my ankles at the time of spider apprehension.

I freaked out and changed my pants just in case.

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » August 3, 2005, 11:55 am

some jackass was playing traffic cop in his car this morning by waving in three cars in front of him as they were coming out of a deli. He, of course, proceeds to run the light that turned red because he was being so "nice" leaving myself and the other ten cars behind me to stare at a 90 second red light we should have made.

i really fucking hate when someone think they are being nice. such as if someone has the right of way, noone is behind them, yet they stop to wave me through. "FOLLOW THE FUCKING SIGNS AND JUST MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR YOU SCHMUCK, I WOULD HAVE BEEN ACROSS THE INTERSECTION ALREADY!"

Drasta · Post by **Drasta** » August 3, 2005, 11:57 am

i drove home from my "friends" apartment this morning and had to pass a buncha people on the right because they don't know you shouldn't go 60 in the left lane when the person behind you is coming up at 80 mph and you don't get over .... then i came home ate a sandwitch and will proceed to get ready for work

Seebs · Post by **Seebs** » August 3, 2005, 11:58 am

PC is still down so I went to bed at a reasonable hour. 11:40 PM.

went fast asleep and awoke at 12:20 to get Max as it was his time to latch on to my wife's breast.

Awoke again at 1:30 AM when I placed Max back into his crib.

Went back to bed, found my drool spot on my pillow (now cold) and resumed sleep.

Woke up at 6 AM and played with Max while the wife was getting ready for work. Placed Max in his carseat at 7:45AM and proceeded to get ready.

Brushed my teeth in a circular motion with Original Crest Paste (hate gel) and spit when my mouth became full. Rinsed off my toothbrush and spit once more. Turned on the hot water and peed in the toilet while I waited for the water to get hot. The heater is on the other side of the house .. design flaw.

Peed on the seat a little but left it.

Showered, clothed myself and headed to work.

I passed a busstop on the way and noticed that this hot chick was kinda staring at me. She was hot, and had knowledge way beyond her years. I could tell. I pulled over and called her over, kinda like Sting did in 'Don't Stand So Close to Me'.

I said 'Listen, you're hot, I'm way hot and I think we shold make a memory". She nodded and got in the car without saying a word.

I sped back to my house to close the deal and noticed that this girl was still staring at me. Just blankly staring at me. I didn't blame her. I'm probably the best looking guy she had ever been with, even this far.

Pulled into my garage and got out of my late model sports car worth $80,000. The girl didn;t budge. She wants me to open her door obviously, I'll oblige this once.

I help her out of the car and lead her into the bedroom, still no words are spoken. She obviously is stunned with her luck. I threw her on the bed and started working my magic. She had to be 17 .. or 12 .. I can't tell, but the blue eyeshadow made her legal.

I was rounding third base and asked her to say something. Not a word, just a stare. It became clear to me this chick was way out of her league. I decided to make her millenium and mounted the lucky lady. I thrust and thrust, being careful since I am so large, trying to elicit a response from this lottery winner.

Nothing. She just blankly and now confusingly stared at the ceiling fan. I started to pummel her. Hard and violent pooundings. nada. I went into fever pitch. Nope. No response. Is she testing me?

I pick up the lamp on the end table and demand some response. "Validate my existance, Validate my existance' I cried .. still nothing.

I swung the base of the lamp striking her in the temple. She let out an enourmous scream but it was a sream like I had just stomped a dog's tail. She would not shut up. I struck her again, and again, and ahain until the sweet sound of silence permiated the room.

I thrust a few more times and finished my business. The girl lie motionless and bleeding in my bed. She must thank God that her last memory on Earth was with me. Fortunate lass.

I wrapped her cold body in my sheet and picked up her backpack. I then noticed that she was from the Blind and Deaf school up the road. Man, how lucky is this girl that a hot guy like me showed her pleasure.

I placed the body in the Jacuzzi and plugged in the hedge clippers preparing for dismemberment. I took the arms from the elbow, the legs from the knees and the head from the clavicle. Placed them all in a tarp and removed the golf clubs from my trunk ($1,200 custom made Calloways) and laid the butchered defective girl in my cool ride.

I showered again, put on my really nice clothes and drove to one of my favorite parking spots. I Unloaded the goods from my trunk nextto an old couch an headed to work.

I had 14 emails and made it ontime for my first meeting.

I logged on to the Internet and told my story on VV.

nothing too new.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » August 3, 2005, 1:51 pm

Went to the doctors and he touched my willy without permission, then I cried

Fortunately, I was able to wait until the surgery closed and laughed heartily whilst smacking him in the back of the head with my car.

In other news, I watched "the day after tomorrow" and can't believe I wasted 2 whole hours on that piece of shit.

miir · Post by **miir** » August 3, 2005, 2:00 pm

Nick wrote:In other news, I watched "the day after tomorrow" and can't believe I wasted 2 whole hours on that piece of shit.

Fuck.
I was going to make a crack about the length of the movie and your wasted two hours... but the movie, minus credits is almost exactly two hours.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » August 3, 2005, 2:04 pm

Haven't I suffered enough for one day dammit!

Jice Virago · Post by **Jice Virago** » August 3, 2005, 2:48 pm

Fitter, Happier, More Productive.

Kluden · Post by **Kluden** » August 3, 2005, 3:28 pm

You listened to Radiohead?

I went to work. Still here.

Moonwynd · Post by **Moonwynd** » August 3, 2005, 11:55 pm

I woke up this morning and found out I had to drive 120 miles each way just to install a modem at one of our remote branch offices. I was pissed that I had 4 hours of driving for a 10 minute job. But when I got there I met this country bumpkin sort of gal...dressed in a denim dress...and even though I know "lust" is a sin...I fantasized about taking her out to the barn and doing it like farm animals.

Lisandre · Post by **Lisandre** » August 4, 2005, 12:40 am

My tranny friend invited me to go watch the pageant (s)he joined. Had a blast!

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » August 4, 2005, 12:57 am

I killed spiders for an hour today, it was enjoyable

Trias · Post by **Trias** » August 4, 2005, 1:01 am

Stragi wrote:my cat scan shows an inoperable brain tumor
and i have the runs.

ditto

Mr Bacon · Post by **Mr Bacon** » August 4, 2005, 7:46 am

Today I shot myself with heroine and showed up late for work. I just dropped a turd in my boss' desk. More details to come.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » August 4, 2005, 11:58 am

Well, I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » August 4, 2005, 12:17 pm

Last night I looked up at the sky, and as I saw various constellations I thought to myself... Is there a such thing as a little star, I mean, they are really big. Not to mention something so enormous would not twinkle, but more like shine.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » August 4, 2005, 12:25 pm

I'm listening to the moldy peaches smoking a cigarette.

Diae Soulmender · Post by **Diae Soulmender** » August 4, 2005, 1:41 pm

I woke up, showered, got dressed, walked out the door... car wont start. Great coil died yet again. 4th time this year. I really need to replace the distributor.

Got to work after being out sick 1 day.

655 emails.

God I hate my job.

I need to win the lottery.

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » August 4, 2005, 2:09 pm

Mmmmmmmmmm goat cheese

Nick · Post by **Nick** » August 4, 2005, 2:55 pm

Important update! I went to log into WoW and then remembered, after weeks of not logging on, that it was indeed a steaming pile of crap, so I ate a cookie, since I thought I deserved one.

P.S - Flu is shit.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » August 4, 2005, 8:58 pm

Dude you are SOOOOO gay for Pils

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » August 4, 2005, 9:13 pm

Hey look my account is still active....

I was told of your posts, and I don't really care Winnow, continue....

But just keep in mind while your still visiting this web forum for the last few years with nothing to really say, I've been absent for a reason.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » August 4, 2005, 9:27 pm

the blue eyeshadow made her legal.

yup

Jarori Bloodletter · Post by **Jarori Bloodletter** » August 4, 2005, 11:10 pm

Woke up, fell outta bed
Dragged a comb across my head.
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up I knoticed I was late.

Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

n stuff..

Moonwynd · Post by **Moonwynd** » August 4, 2005, 11:11 pm

Pilsburry wrote:I've been absent for a reason.

\

Making flaky crescent rolls?

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » August 4, 2005, 11:14 pm

Walgreens has two for one cereal deals often. I have 6 light saber spoons. 5 Red, 1 Blue. Expiration dates for Frosted Flakes boxes with light sabers spoons = April 10, 2006.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » August 4, 2005, 11:54 pm

My cat has fallen asleep.

I am eating a ham sammidge.

I may or may not watch that piece of shit "The bourne identity"

I am an insomniac.

I just noticed this is my 1984 th post. George would be proud.

I misspelt George Goerge first time and had to press delete a few times before remedying the bastard.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » August 4, 2005, 11:56 pm

Pilsburry wrote:Hey look my account is still active....

I was told of your posts, and I don't really care Winnow, continue....

But just keep in mind while your still visiting this web forum for the last few years with nothing to really say, I've been absent for a reason.

And I think its safe to say that 4 posts went by with no mention of what you said for a reason. . . .

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » August 5, 2005, 12:30 am

Wanna tell you a story,
About the house-man blues
I come home one Friday,
Had to tell the landlady I'd-a lost my job
She said that don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come I didn't get the rent,
And out the door I went

So I goes to the landlady,
I said, "You let me slide?"
I'll have the rent for you in a month.
Next I don't know
So said let me slide it on you know people,
I notice when I come home in the evening
She ain't got nothing nice to say to me,
But for five year she was so nice
Loh' she was lovy-dovy,
I come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?",
I said, "No, can't find no job"
Therefore I ain't got no money to pay the rent
She said "I don't believe you're tryin' to find no job"
Said "I seen you today you was standin' on a corner,
Leaning up against a post"
I said "But I'm tired, I've been walkin' all day"
She said "That don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday"
Now next Friday come I didn't have the rent,
And out the door I went

So I go down the streets,
Down to my good friend's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
Can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house,
I could see it in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda funny, you know"
I said "I know, everybody funny, now you funny too"
So I go back home
I tell the landlady I got a job, I'm gonna pay the rent
She said "Yeah?" I said "Oh yeah"
And then she was so nice,
Loh' she was lovy-dovy
So I go in my room, pack up my things and I go,
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go
She a-howlin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get any back rent,
She ain't gonna get none of it
So I stop in the local bar you know people,
I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
Need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

But I'm sitting now at the bar,
I'm getting drunk, I'm feelin' mellow
I'm drinkin' bourbon, I'm drinkin' scotch, I'm drinkin' beer
Looked down the bar, here come the bartender
I said "Look man, come down here"
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since the night before last,
Gotta get a drink man I'm gonna get gassed
Gonna get high man I ain't had enough,
Need me a triple shot of that stuff
Gonna get drunk won't you listen right here,
I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Now by this time I'm plenty high,
You know when your mouth a-getting dry you're plenty high
Looked down the bar I say to my bartender
I said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want this time?
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
He said "The clock on the wall say three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Fash · Post by **Fash** » August 5, 2005, 1:17 am

I remember a lot of total bullshit bragging in pilsburry posts...

last weekend i went to a party at an old friends lake house.. the chicks were hot, and they were all over my jock. at one point, we went down the road and shot clay pigeons... it was my first shot with a shotgun ever, and i hit the fucking thing. i am so great. i took some of the girls back to my place and they were all impressed with my pier1 brica brac, and then we spooned. i rule.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » August 5, 2005, 1:28 am

I always assumed he was being facetious, he wasn't?

Update: Still haven't watched The Bourne identity. I deserve more than this. Everyone does. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING MATT DAMON.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » August 5, 2005, 2:56 am

I was in Times Square just now. It was smelly. The girl I was with was 5'0 and tasted of raspberries. She was no hooker, but I bought her a drink anyway. We went to Atlantic City last weekend and thought it would be cool to have BOGSEX(loads of bogs in jersey). We did not have any bogsex, opting to play blackjack instead.

I had a hooker ask me if I wanted any luck, but the girl I was with showed up next to me and ruined the moment.

I am sleepy.

noel · Post by **noel** » August 5, 2005, 3:59 am

Pilsburry wrote:Hey look my account is still active....

I was told of your posts, and I don't really care Winnow, continue....

But just keep in mind while your still visiting this web forum for the last few years with nothing to really say, I've been absent for a reason.

Your boyfriend got you pregnant?

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » August 5, 2005, 4:50 am

says the guy that shaves his legs.

Tegellan · Post by **Tegellan** » August 5, 2005, 6:31 am

kyoukan wrote:says the guy that shaves his legs.

Says the girl who doesn't...

noel · Post by **noel** » August 5, 2005, 12:23 pm

kyoukan wrote:says the guy that shaves his legs.

And?

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » August 5, 2005, 12:49 pm

what? you need that explained?

noel · Post by **noel** » August 5, 2005, 12:55 pm

Yeah I'm not following. You're saying that I shave my legs, and it's almost like you're saying that as some kind of a negative.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » August 5, 2005, 1:01 pm

Come on Noel, everyone knows that men shaving their legs is the bane of all that is evil. Just look at the twin towers, the terrorists found out that bush shaved his legs and took action.

signed,
Pilsburry

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » August 5, 2005, 1:24 pm

so you've never been exposed to the joke of guys shaving their legs appearing to be effeminate before, or is this some wimpy passive-aggresive way of "calling me out?"

okay, it's cause only women and queers shave their legs.

noel · Post by **noel** » August 5, 2005, 1:45 pm

I don't know if queers actually shave their legs, no knowledge on the subject.

However, you forgot to mention that: Swimmers, Water Polo players and cyclists also shave their legs. Since I'm a cyclist, I shave my legs. Glad I could clear that up for you.

Sylvos · Post by **Sylvos** » August 5, 2005, 1:46 pm

lol you femmy lollz

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » August 5, 2005, 2:55 pm

I don't know about shaving your legs but shaving your ass prevents dingleberries.

A mass of toilet paper and feces that clings to the anus and surrounding anal hairs.

While scratching my rectum, I was pleasantly suprised to find a plethora of dingleberries suspended in my pubic hair.

a festuring smouder of anal dreads that are formed from sloppy droppings that decend from ones anal cavity and clings to ones ring pubis.

dingle smell single smell dingle through my fray.. oh what fun it is to tug on my back yards ropey clay.

Dingleberries are found in the anal and choad region of the body. They are a combination of toilet paper and sheot. This combination is practically indestructable.

Little pieces of toilet paper that remains tangled in one's asshairs after wiping.

You ever sit in the tub and have your dingleberries break loose and float up around you? It's gross.