George Lucas is a fag, and here's why:

noel · Post by **noel** » April 13, 2005, 3:35 pm

I just thought of this, and I'm curious what other people think...

I was just reading this article on msnbc.com and particularly the following passage:

Why Ewoks?
The trouble started with the Ewoks-plagued third film, “Return of the Jedi” (1983). It continued with the misbegotten movies Lucas produced (1986’s “Howard the Duck,” 1994’s “Radioland Murders”) and with the return of “Star Wars” with “The Phantom Menace” (1999) and “Attack of the Clones” (2002). Kael’s review of “Jedi” hinted at the problems the series would face.

I was 9 or 10 when I saw RotJ, so at the time, Ewoks were cool by me, but I was just thinking... How much better would it have been, how much more would the original trilogy have stood the test of time if instead of RotJ culminating on and around the Ewok-infested 'Forest Moon of Endor', the action had culminated on and around Kashyyyk, the savage home of the wookies? What if 6 foot+ asskickers had taken the place of those idiot teddy bears?

Seems to me like that would have been a 100% improvement, and if Lucas hadn't decided to change parts of the original trilogy in his special edition release and almost wholely delete the inane races that infested Naboo, Ep 1 might have been good for something other than a great lightsaber duel that was interrupted by one of the most annoying little brats flying around in a starfighter and accidentally destroying an enemy capital ship/space station.

Personally, I liked Ep2. It wasn't the greatest movie of all time by any means, but it was a decent continuation of the story (with horrible dialogue), and I think if Lucas would stop trying to make everything so fucking cute (which it appears he's doing in Ep3), he'll be ok.

That said, what do you all think of my subbing wookies for Ewoks thing?

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » April 13, 2005, 4:10 pm

noel wrote:
That said, what do you all think of my subbing wookies for Ewoks thing?

That's been discussed for years. If you came up with the idea on your own that's good too but that theory has been out there for at least the past 15 years.

http://www.trickykid.com/2001/08/okay.html

noel · Post by **noel** » April 13, 2005, 4:38 pm

I've been reading, playing, and watching a bit too much Star Wars lately. I wasn't aware of the history of it, but kinda funny that we have the Ewoks now when we actually could have had wookies.

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » April 13, 2005, 5:00 pm

Yea I will admit Lucas has done some pretty cheesy things but as you said, the Ewoks worked when I was 13. Would it have been more cool with a planet full of wookies? probably so but I don't think it would have been Star Wars. To me part of the attraction is the simple focus.

In regards to the new films I initially didn't like either. Not because of Jar Jar or Ani or because 2 had too much "love story" but because to me they didn't flow, the dialogue was not only bad but often the scenes felt hurried, especially with QuiGon. However after watching the first 2 about 50 times with my son I've found a lot of "Lucasesque" lines and subtle themes I missed the first few time because I couldn't get past how bad I thought it was.

I'm really looking forward to RotS though. I would like to be able to take my son who is very excited and has watched the trailer just about ever night since release but I'm sure it's too dark for a 2 year old.

One of the other articles linked on that page is about why we like Darth Vader so much. I found it to be very true. It's interesting that my son who is one of the sweetest kids in the world (IMHO right?) immediately started looking down with his eye glaring up like Evil-Ani in the trailer every time he wants to play "lightsabers."

Marb

noel · Post by **noel** » April 13, 2005, 5:03 pm

That's a good point Marb.

I am fairly aware of the Ep3 script/what happens, and I would definitely recommend that parents screen it before taking their children to see it. Oddly enough with a PG-13 rating, 13 is actually a reasonable age for it...

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » April 13, 2005, 5:03 pm

There should have been an adult and child version of each Star Wars movie. An R rated episode 4-6 would have been great but I also wouldn't want to have given up being able to see them as a kid.

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » April 13, 2005, 5:23 pm

Yea I haven't gotten a copy of the script (please send me one if you have a copy, marbus@gmail.com) but I have read all the stuff on the Internet and pretty much know the blow by blow. My only real concern is how they will take out the younglings. Eventually it will be on DVD though so he will see it, would just be cool to take him to the theater for it.

What's funny is that I was concerned that the 3rd Harry Potter movie would be too scary but it doesn't seem to bother him at all, not nearly as much as the Mirror in Snow White or the Shadow Dancers in Big Bear's Blue House Potty Book story... go figure

He is also convinced that my Undead Rogue is a "mean guy" while my Tauren Shaman is "cool."

Marb

noel · Post by **noel** » April 13, 2005, 5:44 pm

The graphic novel is up in the comics section, read through that. You should see everything you need there.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » April 13, 2005, 5:44 pm

IIRC on one of the 12 thousand different special releases made over the years before dvd, Lucas actually mentioned having wookies instead of ewoks.

Xzion · Post by **Xzion** » April 14, 2005, 7:36 am

with a PG rating its hard to make a movie that appeals to kids as well as adults (although LOTR did an exceptional job) in order for star wars to unleash its potential it needs an 'R' or PG13 rating

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » April 14, 2005, 9:50 am

The Wookies would of made it a bit harder for the empire. I think they were just looking for a quiet planet/moon to rebuild their precious Death Star which makes sense. Go to the path with the least resistance.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » April 14, 2005, 12:02 pm

here is the central problem to all of this.

we LOVED all of this stuff when we were 12.

Lucas hasnt changed the way he makes movies that much. We have changed. And because we have the sentimental attachment to the movies of our youth, we let a lot more slide than we do with the newer ones.

that being said, Empire Strikes Back is excellent, and the changes they made in the special edition were even very nice (windows in Bespen for example).

Yeah in retrospect Ewoks were pretty lame. but i'm with Winnow, i heard the Wookie option back in the 80s

Tenuvil · Post by **Tenuvil** » April 14, 2005, 1:20 pm

Voronwë wrote:...the changes they made in the special edition were even very nice (windows in Bespen for example)...

except...HAN SHOT FIRST

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » April 14, 2005, 1:35 pm

The R-Rated version would have had Jabba sticking it to a naked Princess Leia.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » April 14, 2005, 3:54 pm

Tenuvil wrote:
Voronwë wrote:...the changes they made in the special edition were even very nice (windows in Bespen for example)...
except...HAN SHOT FIRST

i was only talking about Empire NOOB!

dibit_eq · Post by **dibit_eq** » April 14, 2005, 6:03 pm

yeah, I think many of the visual updates with the special editions were decent. It's the audio and plot tweaks that sucked. Some of the little things that dont alter the way that one would perceive the story didn't bother anyone I think.

Simple facts:

RotJ had ewoks and honestly, those bastards should have been dead long before the rebels arrived and put into the stormtrooper rations.

Han did shoot first... he's not a hippie and the life of some slackass bounty hunter wont make him lose any sleep at night.

that is all

Jice Virago · Post by **Jice Virago** » April 14, 2005, 7:57 pm

In as far as I can remember, the Wookie thing was the original plan, but the toy and marketting thing made him change it to the fucking care bear assault. A lot of other things got changed from early development too, like Jabba being just a normal guy (The added scene they did in SE was originally with the 'Inconcievable!' guy from princess bride playing a human Jaba the Hutt that they digitally overwrote with the ROTJ Jabba) and Han actually being a prince of the Correlians. The original dialog of the first trilogy was really horrendous, too (Carry Fischer was originally brought in to script doctor Lucas's dialog into something less clumsy) before Lucas got pressured into it being changed. The real issue now is Lucas has too much control over his creation and he is doing revisionist work on his own material. Also, no one can really stand up to him and critique his current projects either.

My biggest gripe with the new movies are the atmosphere and the contrived (and plagurized) plot concepts. The whole mitochondria thing is a complete rip off of the anime Parasite Eve, for example. Why even bother trying to assign some sort of scientific explanation for the force? Just let the audience have their suspension of disbelief. As far as atmosphere is concerned, one thing that made the original movies stand out was how all of the technology and ships looked used and lived in. The Millenium Falcon looked like a lived in ship, with run down and jury rigged sections. The Hoth Base looked haphazardly set up with lots of worn down and hard worked machinery. The prequels are all dominated by these pristene and too perfect CGI creations of ships that all look like they just rolled off of the assembly line. Even Mos Eisley looked like a fucking tourest attraction compared to how it was in the original trilogy. There is no grit to it, no undercurrent of character development, just a bunch of dazed actors stumbling around from one blue screen to the next (Ewan McGreggor and the guy playing Palpatine, being the exceptions).

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » April 14, 2005, 8:40 pm

Jice Virago wrote:
My biggest gripe with the new movies are the atmosphere and the contrived (and plagurized) plot concepts. The whole mitochondria thing is a complete rip off of the anime Parasite Eve, for example. Why even bother trying to assign some sort of scientific explanation for the force? Just let the audience have their suspension of disbelief. As far as atmosphere is concerned, one thing that made the original movies stand out was how all of the technology and ships looked used and lived in. The Millenium Falcon looked like a lived in ship, with run down and jury rigged sections. The Hoth Base looked haphazardly set up with lots of worn down and hard worked machinery. The prequels are all dominated by these pristene and too perfect CGI creations of ships that all look like they just rolled off of the assembly line. Even Mos Eisley looked like a fucking tourest attraction compared to how it was in the original trilogy. There is no grit to it, no undercurrent of character development, just a bunch of dazed actors stumbling around from one blue screen to the next (Ewan McGreggor and the guy playing Palpatine, being the exceptions).

I've mentioned in the past the character development and interactions between the main characters in the original trilogy that are missing in the new episodes but you bring up a good point in the worn and lived in look of everything in the originals. The garbage compacter scene was one of the best. There was extra tech junk all over the original movies (especially the first two)

noel · Post by **noel** » April 14, 2005, 8:43 pm

Actually in Ep2, even Ewan McGregor falls victim to having to spend his time in front of a bluescreen. During the battle in the colliseum like thing with the three big animals, there's at least two instances where just for a short period of time, he totally blows it.

That said, McGregor is probably the best thing going in the current trilogy.

Ramseis · Post by **Ramseis** » April 15, 2005, 1:29 am

Thought this was an interesting link for sw3 http://nuar.lunarpages.com/video/SW_mirrors.htm

I probably screwed the url thing up so you may have to copy patse but its a good laugh for all the leet speakers.

PS. Wording is NWS

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » April 15, 2005, 5:58 pm

Lucas is worth 3 billion dollars. His body of work doesn't even come close to deserving that amount. To put it into perspective, Ted Turner is worth 2 bil and Spielberg 2.7. I'd say, regardless of how irritating it is to see child-like characters with awful and juvenile dialogue in his movies is(and I agree wholeheartedly), he's managed to make people want to see it.

Taraos · Post by **Taraos** » April 19, 2005, 8:46 am

As I understand it, Lucas wanted all of his wookies to be close to 7 feet tall. He had a good bit of trouble finding tall people, as well as recreating Kashyyyk.

So instead, he dressed kids and midjets up and handed them crude things to swing at Stormtroopers.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » April 19, 2005, 12:49 pm

Heres' one wookie

Get Yao Ming, Manute Bol, George Muresan, Bradely and a few more and you're set!

masteen · Post by **masteen** » April 19, 2005, 1:07 pm

Even as a kid, I did not like the fucking Ewoks.

Keverian FireCry · Post by **Keverian FireCry** » April 22, 2005, 9:00 pm

As far as the whole ewok thing...The original movie wasn't free of annoying little fuckers either:

And don't forget The Empire Strikes Back had a fucking walking trash can

I really think George Lucas just likes giving job opportunities to midgets and children(even if that means sticking them in a trash can). What a fine fine man he is.

Sionistic · Post by **Sionistic** » April 22, 2005, 11:32 pm

That l337 trailer rocked

VeeshanVault

George Lucas is a fag, and here's why:

George Lucas is a fag, and here's why:

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