http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/threa ... post932175
Welcome to the World of Forumcraft | 1/20/2005 12:35:57 PM PST
What most people don't know, is when they purchased WoW, they bought two games! Included free with your WoW account is a free online subscription to World of Forumcraft!
A world of intrigue and drama awaits you in Blizzard's World of Forumcraft. From the moment you log in, experience the never-ending journey through strife, victories, pitfalls, and wage eternal struggle against insurmountable odds! What most players see as simply frustration or griping, is actually an intricate system of checks and balances, offering a complete game-forum experience! Let's begin ...
Starting Out: Classes
The first decision you'll need to make is choosing your class. This decision is not an easy one: be sure to choose one that fits your personal post-style, and not what other people think your post style should or should not be. The available classes are below:
Whiners:
Type: Primary Complaint Dealer
Standard Bars: Interest / Ineptitude (Builds points towards whining when loosing battles due to incompetence)
Available Armor: Stupidity, Denial
Example Ability:
Fury of the Nerfsayer (Class: Whiner)
Instant Post, Cost: 15 Inept. Cooldown: 30 seconds.
Upon death in WoW, the Whiner immediately gains an flaming bonus against the class of his attacker, and automatically posts no fewer than 5 reasons and/or posts as to why the attacker was overpowered and must be nerfed.
Trolls:
Type: Hybrid Incindiary Comment Dealer
Standard Bars: Offensiveness / Relevance (Increases the Trolls chance to dodge Banishment as Relevance builds.)
Available Armor: CAP-LOCK, Exclamation Points
Example Ability:
Threadicide (Class: Troll)
Finishing Move, Cost: 75 Offensiveness Cooldown: Varies (Dependant on Mood of Target Moderator).
Sacrificing his entire accumulated Offensiveness bar, a Troll with zero Relevance can force the immediate annihilation of a given thread. This results in being afflicted by Banishment. Whiners may invoke Rebirth on closed threads.
Elitists:
Type: Primary Insult Dealer
Standard Bars: Interest / 0wn4g3 (Builds points towards Insults by ganking level 20's in WoW for hours on end)
Available Armor: Counterinsult, Superiority
Example Ability:
Embellishment (Class: Elitist)
Passive
When recounting an event in game, The Elitist gains a +50% bonus to all damage dealt, a +10 bonus to the victim's level (with a chance to crit), and a +3 bonus to number of opposing players. Any event regarding failure by the Elitist is resisted. May be countered by Calculator.
Morons:
Type: Primary Insult Tank
Standard Bars: Interest (300% bonus to interest on this class)
Available Armor: Heavy Stupidity
Example Ability:
Will of the Forgetful (Class: Moron)
Instant Cast: 2 minute cooldown.
Upon activation, the Moron forgets the few things they actually know about the game. This enables them to post questions they've already posted, ask questions already answered on the front page or in the FAQ, and often times will completely forget what class they're playing. Causes a high amount of threat.
Consumers:
Type: Primary Ranged Complaint Dealer
Standard Bars: Interest / Statutes (Builds points towards ranged company attacks through discovery of new reasons why Blizzard is breaking the law, regardless of validity)
Available Armor: Terms of Service
Example Ability:
Class-action lawsuit (Class: Consumer)
Reagent: BBB
The consumer bands X posters to his cause, unifying them in a bogus and hollow claim of wrongful action by Blizzard. The only damage this causes is to the Morons, who think Blizzard might go out of business, or the Fanbois, who gain Bloodlust.
Fanbois:
Type: Primary Complaint Tank
Standard Bars: Interest / Battle.net (Powers reactions proclaiming why Blizzard Roxors the big one!!1!11)
Available Armor: Denial
Example Ability:
Nova of Blizzardic Deification (Class: Fanboi)
Type: Instant Cast, 1 hour cooldown.
In a desperate act of faith, the Fanboi creates an entire thread dedicated to why every post considered aggressive to Blizzard is not only incorrect, but blasphemous. The unbelievers will burn in righteous fire. All hail the king.
Calculator:
Type: True Hybrid
Standard Bars: Interest / Caffeine (Keeps Calculator going till 4am crunching every number they can get their hands on)
Available Armor: Counterpoint, Vanish
Example Ability:
Crushing Dissertation (Class: Calculator)
Reagent: Thottbot.com
Creates a giant wall of text, stunning nearby posters for 1-5 minutes while they try to make sense of what you have posted. Morons may flee in fear, Whiners are immune to the effects of this ability.
For the most devout fanatics of the World of Forumcraft, there's the most prestigious of titles: the hero class "Moderator".
Moderator:
Prerequisites: High forum level, Hometown: Irvine, CA
Standard Bars: Interest (Forced) / Mood (dictates % of locked threads)
Available Armor: Terms of Service, Vanish
Example Abilities:
Divination
24 hour cast, 2 week cooldown
The moderator invokes the rites of the Developers, and Divines information about the status of the game. Temporarily lowers the threat level of nearby posters for a few minutes.
Banishment:
Instant Cast, 30 second cooldown
Much like Exorcism, but targets Whiners instead of Undead.
Q: What about the developers? Where are they?
A: The word from the WoF Dev. team is that the "Developer", IE "Devnyxia" ... is a long ways off. Players often dream of the day they'll refine their skills to the degree when they'll be given a chance to encounter the Devnyxia in a furious battle of wits. However, this must be done in a raid party, as Devnyxia would undoubtedly be able to crush any lone poster, regardless of expertise, under the burgeoning weight of their design-prowess.
We hope everybody will take advantage of what World of Forumcraft has to offer!
Look for more exciting additions to World of Forumcraft: Coming soon!
Patch Notes v1.1 01/21/05
-Troll class added (Contributed by Drace)
-Added Q&A item: Developer
[ post edited by Liadov ]
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Liadov of the Order
"We were, and so we will be"
