Real Quotes

[Millie]

My dad actually sent me these via e-mail. Now that I think about it, it kinda weirded me out.
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1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event:

"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warmup, and it was amazing."


2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator:

"This is really a lovely horse. And I speak from personal experience, since I once mounted her mother."


3. Grand Prix Race Announcer:

"The lead car is absolutely, truly unique -- except for the one behind it, which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."


4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer:

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."


5. Ringside Boxing Analyst:

"Sure, there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them were really that serious."


6. Baseball announcer:

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."


7. Basketball analyst:

"He dribbles a lot, and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."


8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988:

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."


9. Metro Radio, College Football:

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."


10. US Open TV Commentator:

"One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?!"

[Bubba Grizz]

BHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Ennia]

"I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."
-Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf

"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."
-Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model

"I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much prettier than all the other women in sports."
-Martina Hingis in Detour Magazine, 3/98 issue.

"[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse."
-Boxer Mike Tyson, on writer Wallace Matthews


"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
-Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977

[Lexien]

That's been circulating for a while..

But, nonetheless funny.