Is it necessary to degrade a woman before sex?

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » April 25, 2003, 5:51 am

Is it necessary to degrade a woman before sex?

edit: God damnit I said it;s avote, I filled in the question boxes, wtf do I have to do? I've done this before just fine.

edit: Xoquoa or pyrella make this a yes/no poll....no maybe's..screw the maybe BS..no fence sitters this time. They can abstain from voting period...if you post vote yes or no....

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » April 25, 2003, 5:53 am

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » April 25, 2003, 5:55 am

My vote is "Yes"

Ive decded this after watching all my friends get laid both male and female while I remain single....it always seems like the chicks dig the guys who call them sluts or tell them they look like shit. It's like the girls say "if I look like shit or I'm a slut, why did you fuck me?" as a kind of counter strike.

I don't get it...

I got 2 people upstairs right now probably fucking thier brains out as usual....after he called her a slut with no reason. I just don't under fucking stand it. How does this shit work?

It's not in my nature to call a girl I like a slut or ugly or anything like that...because I wouldn't ask out or flirt with or definately have sex with a girl I didn't like.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » April 25, 2003, 7:27 am

Lots of women have self-esteem issues and a lot of guys are able to either consciously or unconsciously home in on that kind of woman and use her to get out their passive-aggresive little fight club angst out on them and the women just keep taking it and going back to them. It really depends on the girl.

Generally speaking if a guy said I looked like shit or called me a slut I would boot my foot so far up his ass that I could paint my toenails by sticking the brush in his ear, and I haven't had too many problems finding men that treat me with the same amount of respect I expect to be treated (a little demeaning dirty talk in teh bedroom is a different story tho 8)8)).

You sound like you are a little cranky that you haven't gotten any poon lately. That's alright. Girls that don't put up with that kind of horse shit are harder to find and have a relationship with because their lives aren't defined as worthy dependant on whether or not they have a boyfriend or not, and generally only date guys they are interested in. But when you do generally find one at least you know that she is seeing you because she likes you. Women with really bad self-esteem issues are pretty much guaranteed to either go crazy and kill you/cut your penis off and stick it in your ear, or have an epiphany one day and become a militant man-hating lesbian or turn into some jesus freak crazyhead that just tunes out all the bad aspects of her life and mumbles to herself a lot, or all three.

But the number one question my guy friends always as me is that; why do girls always fall for guys that treat them like shit. The answer is they don't, but some girls do.

Being a girl isn't easy; there is a lot of peer pressure and pressure from the mainstream to look a certain way and behave a certain way and have a particular body type, and to always try to look young (god help you if you don't look at least 29) and wear clothes that cut off your fucking circulation. Men of all kinds are constantly judging you; sometimes out loud to your face when they are trying to impress their fellow closet homosexual friends. If a guy isn't staring at your breasts or ass then he isn't looking at you at all. It is really not a hard thing to just buckle under and collapse under all the bullshit women have to put up with. A lot of women do.

noel · Post by **noel** » April 25, 2003, 7:58 am

kyoukan wrote:Lots of women have self-esteem issues and a lot of guys are able to either consciously or unconsciously home in on that kind of woman and use her to get out their passive-aggresive little fight club angst out on them and the women just keep taking it and going back to them. It really depends on the girl.

Generally speaking if a guy said I looked like shit or called me a slut I would boot my foot so far up his ass that I could paint my toenails by sticking the brush in his ear, and I haven't had too many problems finding men that treat me with the same amount of respect I expect to be treated (a little demeaning dirty talk in teh bedroom is a different story tho 8)8)).

You sound like you are a little cranky that you haven't gotten any poon lately. That's alright. Girls that don't put up with that kind of horse shit are harder to find and have a relationship with because their lives aren't defined as worthy dependant on whether or not they have a boyfriend or not, and generally only date guys they are interested in. But when you do generally find one at least you know that she is seeing you because she likes you. Women with really bad self-esteem issues are pretty much guaranteed to either go crazy and kill you/cut your penis off and stick it in your ear, or have an epiphany one day and become a militant man-hating lesbian or turn into some jesus freak crazyhead that just tunes out all the bad aspects of her life and mumbles to herself a lot, or all three.

But the number one question my guy friends always as me is that; why do girls always fall for guys that treat them like shit. The answer is they don't, but some girls do.

Being a girl isn't easy; there is a lot of peer pressure and pressure from the mainstream to look a certain way and behave a certain way and have a particular body type, and to always try to look young (god help you if you don't look at least 29) and wear clothes that cut off your fucking circulation. Men of all kinds are constantly judging you; sometimes out loud to your face when they are trying to impress their fellow closet homosexual friends. If a guy isn't staring at your breasts or ass then he isn't looking at you at all. It is really not a hard thing to just buckle under and collapse under all the bullshit women have to put up with. A lot of women do.

Wow. Make this a sticky?

Xzion · Post by **Xzion** » April 25, 2003, 8:01 am

never had any problems there, usually the opposite approch with a little sarcasm when they say stupid shit like that goes a lot farther from what ive seen, depends how drunk there are tho

Akaran_D · Post by **Akaran_D** » April 25, 2003, 8:10 am

Very insightful post by Kyucan.. summed it better than I could have.

/hugs the Kooky one

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » April 25, 2003, 8:39 am

Perpetually 29 is the goal I think. My wife is annoyed at the fact that she's 33 but she knows she looks younger than that age.

So what's the story Pils, you more interested in some lays or a relationship. That's not meant as condescending btw at there is a point in most guys lives where they'd rather "play the field" than "settle down".

I didn't think I was ever going to be married until I met my wife 4 years ago. My 20's were a blur when it came to dating. There was somewhere around 12-15 different relationships that varied in length from 2 weeks to 6 months. But I never treated a woman "like shit". There's plenty of normal women out there that don't go for that garbage and typically, it's because they are confident in themselves and what they have to offer, much like Kyou said.

Be careful for what you ask for though. My wife baffles me all of the time. Preventing it from spinning out of control is what I'm in the process of working on. Not every woman is the type-a personality that my wife is though and that's where most of the disagreements come to play.

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » April 25, 2003, 8:40 am

It's not "necessary". It's "optional". Kinda like foreplay!

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » April 25, 2003, 8:54 am

I agree it's posted partly because I haven't had any "poon" lately.

But also because a gy I kow who just degraded his woman is fucking in my guest bedroom right now.

Another guy is screwing a girl he doesn't give a shit about across town.

Another guy who treats his women shitty, but doesn;'t understand what he does is screwing a girl right now.

My other 2 best friends....they are probably getting laid right now and treat women like shit (cheat on women, tell women not to tell other people they ever had sex, etc..)

In the meantime the girl I liked, that all my friends said was beneath me to even like....who turned me down 3 months ago with "let me think about it"....she is dating some dude who makes maybe 10% what I make, he has 7 kids...none of the women he has a relationship with...all with different women btw....and from what I hear...he isn't attractive either....

Wtf? I don't get it. I'm in decent shape....I make decent money....I have a decent number of friends....I'm nice....

Now do I have too many friends? Doubt it.
Do I make too much money? Doubt it.
Am I in too good of shape? Doubt it.

Am I too nice?.....I dunno I've been told this many times...by guys and girls.

The girl I liked (not the one I mentioned above, I gave up when she said "I'll think about it") at my party tonight gave me a hug on her way out...she was leaving to meet up with an ex-Boyfriend. My friends said "Oooo she gave you a hug....she's single you know" please don't egg me on....I'm not a fucking retard....I know hugs don't mean shit. I hug my grandpa and my dad, I hug some of my best friends under the right circumstances (marriage, or parting ways for a long ass time). Besides she is leaving *my* party to go hang with some *other* guy. A guy that deemed her unworthy previously.

That's not the fuel for this post...it's a long story of what brought me to my current hypothesis,,,but that's what I think now....I should be an asshole more often, because that's what chicks want. They want an asshole or they want a aguy not necessarily who has money...but gives off the impression he has money..nice car, nice clothes...don't care what his bank looks like, don't care what his house looks like...don't care if he treats his friends well.

I watch chicks who get physically or verbally abused come back for more ALL THE TIME. I see them literally get spit on...in the face...and ask what else they can do to make the guy who spit in thier face happier. I mean literally, spit in thier face, dropping down off thier face, big drips of slobber. wtf? I shit you not.

Let me tell you something about the guys I know getting laid right now..I can kick thier asses...I'm stronger, faster, have more endurance....I make more money then them...I have a nicer house, nicer furniture, more cash in the bank...I'm nicer...to strangers, to women, to family (except my mom, she gets under my skin), doesn't matter...I've known these guys all 10 years+ I wouldn't trade them for the world, but that's the damn truth.

Know the fdifference between them and me which seems to work in thier favor? They treat women like shit. And the women gobble it up. Seriously.

P.S. Chidoro...I'm 29. Well I'll be 29 in a few weeks. I'm lookig for anything...a long lasting relationship, hell marriage would be cool if it was with the right woman, but just even getting to know what's out there a bit better would be nice. Right now all I get to know are my friends girlfriends or girls who treat em like a friend so much and let me in on so many intimate secrets that I can't help but to assume they think I'm gay. I mean I don't want to know when the last time you queefed was or when you farted but instead shit your pants because you were so drunk. Sure I won't hold it against you. if it's a rare case.....but I mean you wouldn't tell a guy you wanted to be with that kind of info now would you? Nope...so I'm fucked.

I have had a few girls hit on me....I'm not a total loser, but the thing is, they weren't up to par. Sorrry I won't get into more detail but you can look at a list you make in your head of things that would pretty much count against a woman and if you look at that list I'm sure these girls ahd a couple check marks next to thier names on that list.

Pahreyia · Post by **Pahreyia** » April 25, 2003, 9:02 am

Girls don't buy the "nice guy" routine anymore. Be an asshole, it makes you seem like you've got a pair, even if it's lacking.

Any other questions can be forwarded to the professor.

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » April 25, 2003, 9:04 am

The girl I liked (not the one I mentioned above, I gave up when she said "I'll think about it") at my party tonight gave me a hug on her way out...she was leaving to meet up with an ex-Boyfriend

Put her out of your mind and never waste another second hankering for her.
She knows you're a nice guy and the hug is just her way of reconfirming that you fancy her, keeping you on tenterhooks and giving her self-confidence a boost before she ships across town to fuck Snake Plisken or whoever. If you let it slip it will continue to happen. Sounds to me like this girl is going to "think about it" til she's had her fill of semi-abusive tossers then come crying to you so nice-guy can pick up the pieces and put her back together til she decides you're too boring/safe/nice and reverts to type.

Just a hunch

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » April 25, 2003, 9:09 am

Sounds like you need a change in scenery. Your friends sound like assholes too.
I used to get in the friend zone until I spoke up about my intentions early on. Treat someone your interested in like a date instead of a friend and you'll probably get a date out of it.

Ninan · Post by **Ninan** » April 25, 2003, 9:45 am

Pils, when you find the woman who wants to fuck your brains out and still be your best firend, then thats the girl you should marry. Worked for me.

As far as recruiting goes, have the girls you like as friends be just that, friends. If you want sex, and thats all you are interested in then usually divorced 30 to 40 year old women is probably your best bet.

I am certain you will find women out there that are saying the same thing as you. Good luck.

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » April 25, 2003, 9:51 am

Pils, you sound OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS like one of my best friends. I'll tell you what I told him when he asked me my opinion on why he was very unlucky when it comes to dating and women.

Simply put, he's too nice. I don't mean you have to be mean or degrading by any stretch, but you need to be more than just "friendly". That's what I mean by too nice. You don't want a women to think of you as thier best friend. You want a women to know that you find her both emotionally intriguing and sexually attractive. If a woman is not getting that impression, then you might as well be her fucking sister.

I'm not bragging here, but I've definately had great success in the dating scene and in my personal relationships. I don't think it's because I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread (although, I have a high level of confidence). I think it's because there are so many fucking lame men out there in the dating world. Give a women attention, sincerity, and honesty, and they will respond accordingly. Throw in humor and perversion, and you should have your pick of the litter. If you are really honest with a woman, you'll get some poonie points since most women in my experiance are simply not used to that.

A word of advice Pils...

Women can sense desperation like a dog senses fear. I don't imagine that would help your cause at all. I think once you start giving yourself more credit and build up some self-confidence, your success rate will increase. Don't go out of your way looking for women. Some of my best dates/relationships started with a conversation at the grocerey store or laundromat with women I'd never met before.

Kyo is also dead on in her description of women IMO. There are OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of fucked up, weak-willed, head cases out there (in all age groups). Finding a woman with her own identity is hard. I'd say 1 out of every 10 in my dating experiance. That's the only real challenge of dating. Any man with a dick and 2 brain cells can have a "fuck hole" girlfriend. You gotta get beyond that.

The "Golden Age" of my dating came after I realized I don't need a woman in my life at all in order to be happy. I am perfectly content with hanging out with my friends and whacking off two or three times a day. Once my frame of mind shifted to the content mode, I seemed to have relationships fall in my lap. /shrug

P.S. Always remember to stick in in her ass.

Axien_Dellusions · Post by **Axien_Dellusions** » April 25, 2003, 10:16 am

Some women dig being treated badly before sex. I'm not one of them. I like to know that I'm wanted and respected beforehand. Peronsally my husband and I are very confident and that's what I like. It's different when you get into bed though for every woman.

Depends on the girl whether or not you can talk dirty in bed. It's the Chris Rock thing he talks about in his stand-up. Women are nasty but you have to talk to them with some cajones. Other women if you call them a slut those Victoria Secret specials come up mighty quick. You can't ask in a 5 year olds voice for a blow job. You have to sound like you know what you want and you know what your doing. (Not saying you don't.)

Tegellan · Post by **Tegellan** » April 25, 2003, 10:20 am

Been in the same place you are in often enough Pils, women say they want a nice guy, but really, they don't. So it seems from my end at least, I always treat women with respect personally, yet the cheating tossers always seem to win.

Personally i have reached the point where I just don't care, I am the way I am, if women don't like it that's just too bad. I have met a few I like along the way, and I am sure I will meet more of them eventually.

Deward · Post by **Deward** » April 25, 2003, 10:21 am

The nice guy angle doesn't work at all. I tried it for years to get laid. You don't have to be an asshole though either. What women want is a guy with confidence. If they see you begging for a date, then they don't see you as confident.

What did it for me was learning how to swing dance. I took a bunch of lessons through a local college on friday nights and it gave me a chance to meet people. I got good at the dancing and I gained a lot of confidence and cockiness which helped get the attention of women a lot more. I would then go to swing dances or a swing concert and there were shitloads of women just begging to dance. Even if they didn't know how they still wanted too. I would grab one for a song and if she was cool I would dance with her again. If she wasn't then I would grab one of her friends the next time.

My point is find something that will give you a shitload of confidence. Women dig confidence. For me learning to dance was the boost I needed plus you get the added benefit of getting into great shape and that adds more confidence as well. If you look in the mirror and see some flabby ass body then women will see it too.

Deward

Kindo · Post by **Kindo** » April 25, 2003, 10:28 am

Pils, I think your main priority is to find some new people to hang out with. I don't think I'd be too happy in your shoes if one of my best buds went around calling his love interest of the moment "slut" and another one spit in the face of his. When you hang out with them you are probably frequenting places where loser men like your friends can get pussy. Trust me, their days are numbered and if you are still single in 10 years (not a horrible thing) you will see the tables being completely reversed.

You just need to relax some. Don't focus so much on finding a woman to have a relationship with or sex with for that matter. Just enjoy your life. Don't be afraid to talk to women because you think that you're beneath them or they're beneath you. Don't rely on your friends for advice on who you should be "going after". I wouldn't exactly trust their judgment.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » April 25, 2003, 10:30 am

Fairweather wrote:Always remember to stick in in her ass.

Yes. >_<

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » April 25, 2003, 10:34 am

Dancing is my Achilles’ Heal. It's like dating Kryptonite to me. I don't like dancing and I'm sutiably rancid at it whenever I make the attempt. Guys who dance get lots of poon since there is usually an unbelieveable guy to girl ratio on the dance floor.

You guys better hope I don't suddenly learn how to dance and start enjoying it. I'd be the Godzilla of dating. RWAAAR!

Kindo · Post by **Kindo** » April 25, 2003, 10:40 am

Oh yes, guys that can dance are very, very hot. And not the get on the dance floor, feet stay in one place while the rest of the body bobs dancing.

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » April 25, 2003, 10:44 am

I'm 6 foot 5 so my nerve impulses don't reach my feet fast enough to dance

It's undignified in men of my age anyway.
Fortunately I'm devastatingly witty and have a prehensile tongue

Silvarel Mistmoon · Post by **Silvarel Mistmoon** » April 25, 2003, 10:46 am

Kyos post was right on about a lot women and what has caused them to be the way they are.

One thing I notice is several of you speaking about being a nice guy doesn't work, and then soon after it comes to the getting laid part.
Well DUH! Do you think women are just stupid. If you "being a nice guy" to get laid then you deserve not getting it.

IF you looking for a relationship that involves more then getting laid, yes such a thing does exist

then being a nice guy that acts his age will eventually find a woman for you. If you not looking for that then go for the woman that doesn't or wants to be treated like that.

You might also ask yourself if you are trying to meet women in the right places OR are these so called friends the ones your meeting women thru or thru their women. I can tell you right now if your meeting women thru those girls then you will get the same type of women your friends have.

miir · Post by **miir** » April 25, 2003, 10:46 am

The nice guy angle doesn't work at all. I tried it for years to get laid.

Worked for me.... but then again I never really had to try any 'angle' to get laid. I'm normally a pretty nice guy.

Whenever I went out, I never went out with the intent to 'meet chicks'.
I went out just to have fun with my friends.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » April 25, 2003, 10:48 am

I have had a longstanding theory about women and I can guarantee that the women that post here will all disagree. I won't say it applies to every single woman on the planet, but I would say it is a very large majority.

Women are very emotional creatures. Men tend to think with their cock and the eyes are the direct pipeline to teh cock. We evaluate everything based on looks for the most part. Some may have different tatses in women, but what we see is what influences HEAVILY in whether we are interested or not. Women are not quite as influenced purely through the eyes like we are. They tend to follow their emotions. The thing is, they confuse different emotions easily. They like things that are emotional stimuli. This is why they love the tear jerking dramas. It is why they read the sappy love stories. They gravitate towards things that stimulate different emotions.

The "bad guys" do nothing more than stimulate different emotions and women mistake these different emotions for "love". In most cases the women have low self esteem and are just very confused. I could never really bring myself to be an ass to them, but it does work. The only female I never really gave a shit about I could not get rid of and was just a complete slut who would pretty much do anything I wanted.

Fash · Post by **Fash** » April 25, 2003, 12:03 pm

A few months ago I came to almost the same conclusion... It seemed to me that a guy had to be at least somewhat decieving or misleading, to get anywhere with a girl.

I'll be 24 in 2 weeks, I'm a well paid intelligent guy who has never been disrespectful or hurtful to a woman, and I've never gotten to first base. I've always been content without having a gf, working on my career and myself, and though I do desire the physical interaction with a woman, I'm far too passive to get anywhere.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » April 25, 2003, 12:12 pm

One trip to the Philipines or Thailand will cure what ails you. Just be sure to bag it. Mail order brides are an option. You could become one of those guys that travels the country going to where the FCOTI (Fat Chicks Of The Internet) live and find true love that way.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » April 25, 2003, 12:17 pm

Deward wrote:The nice guy angle doesn't work at all.

It worked for the guys who have dated me. I can't stand guys who are even the slightest bit arrogant. I've ALWAYS been attracted to the sweet guys. A guy acts the slightest bit indifferent and he's out the door. Having a sweet guy who worships the ground you walk on makes a relationship incredible, and I've never had a problem finding those guys.

I think its the type of women you guys are hanging around because most of my female friends don't put up with any kind of degradation or horseshit. Stay out of the trailer parks and strip clubs guys.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » April 25, 2003, 12:18 pm

man all you need to get in a woman's pants is a bottle of wine.

there aint no big ass mystery.

just make sure it is pretty decent wine. search for bigno aguirre's posts on the thread that Millie authored for tips on buying

but seriously, you just have to be yourself, and confident about it. i have always tended to be pretty passive myself, and as such never hooked up as much as I could have. certainly part of me regrets that, because i am a heterosexual man, and sex is sex! but in the big picture, no big deal.

i think being friends with somebody before hookup isnt a necessarily bad approach. it worked for me and my wife. but i also think you cant be in a friendship where you are the support structure for the girl, as described up above. just has to be a normal friendship.

hell, just start conversations w/ female coworkers, etc. there are women out there who will jump you just have to get them in the right setting =)

Psyloche · Post by **Psyloche** » April 25, 2003, 12:19 pm

Start off talking about candy and teddy bears and it'll end up on the friendship tip.

You don't wanna be the guy in the rated G movie who everyone is REALLY hoping he makes it. You wanna be the guy in the Rated R movie who everyone's not really sure what he's about.

You're like this big bear man... with these claws and you're trying to kill the bunny and you don't know how...

Small, horrid paraphrasing of Swingers. I used to be able to quote both lines but its been a while.

miir · Post by **miir** » April 25, 2003, 12:22 pm

Women are not quite as influenced purely through the eyes like we are. They tend to follow their emotions. The thing is, they confuse different emotions easily. They like things that are emotional stimuli. This is why they love the tear jerking dramas. It is why they read the sappy love stories. They gravitate towards things that stimulate different emotions.

I somewhat agree, but I can attest to the fact that good looking men tend to have a much easier time getting women...

Stay out of the trailer parks and strip clubs guys.

That's what I was thinking.
What sort of shitholes are you guys going to that seem to be filled with these loser women with low (no) self esteem?

Ravvenn · Post by **Ravvenn** » April 25, 2003, 12:24 pm

I'm not even going to vote on this one.

Pills, if a girl enjoys being called a slut or whatnot - would you really want to be with her anyways?

If a guy I was interested in me called me any name besides my own, the chances of him getting some would be none. That would hurt my feelings way before it would be a turn on.

It's a silly poll, all girls/women are different. There are sluts, there are girls who only 'dig' the assholes ,some who are seeking their soulmates and some who could give a shit less about dating.

If youre just looking to get laid, I guess be a dick or something and see what happens. If not, then you need to look somewhere else.

Women really don't go seeking the nearest prick to date, shit happens.
We are complicated, just as men are complicated too. I don't think that will ever be solved.

I personally don't date, not that I am a man-hater or whatever. I just am very content alone, and between work and EQ - I don't have time for it.

Anyways, it isn't about being a nice guy or being a jerk. Its about being yourself.

Edit: After the boob post, I change my mind. You already degrade women and still get no snatch. Its because of the person you are and you suck.
'Nice guys' wouldnt say anything as horrid and the bullshit you can spew out.

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » April 25, 2003, 12:29 pm

Well, here's how it is with me, but you all know I'm an emotional train wreck, so ignore it if ya like, but I'll bet I'm not the only one like this...

What guys considering being a "nice guy", I see as weakness. If you let me walk all over you because you want to get into my panties, I will. If you keep taking the abuse, I'll see you as a wimp, and you'll never get anywhere.

I go for "the assholes" because:
1. You know they're not a wimp. I like feeling secure.
2. Confidence turns me on.
3. If they act like they are unattainable, it makes me want to "attain" them.
4. You know how people say that if a boy is picking on a girl, it's because he likes her? I believe this to be true.

Of course there is a point of acting over-confident, and that's just annoying. AND, none of it matters if the guy is ugly. If you're ugly, you have to put in some serious time. I've fallen for guys that I wasn't initially attracted to because of intelligence and wit, but don't expect to just get laid in the first month if you're ugly.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » April 25, 2003, 12:32 pm

Well, they DO live in the same area. They both have played enchanters and seen high end content. Ravvenn drinks like a fish. Pils drinks like a girl. Ravv has a nice ass and Pils likes nice asses. Seems like a match made on-line.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » April 25, 2003, 12:40 pm

Shaerra wrote:Well, here's how it is with me, but you all know I'm an emotional train wreck, so ignore it if ya like, but I'll bet I'm not the only one like this...

What guys considering being a "nice guy", I see as weakness. If you let me walk all over you because you want to get into my panties, I will. If you keep taking the abuse, I'll see you as a wimp, and you'll never get anywhere.

I go for "the assholes" because:
1. You know they're not a wimp. I like feeling secure.
2. Confidence turns me on.
3. If they act like they are unattainable, it makes me want to "attain" them.
4. You know how people say that if a boy is picking on a girl, it's because he likes her? I believe this to be true.

Of course there is a point of acting over-confident, and that's just annoying. AND, none of it matters if the guy is ugly. If you're ugly, you have to put in some serious time. I've fallen for guys that I wasn't initially attracted to because of intelligence and wit, but don't expect to just get laid in the first month if you're ugly.

I think you need to do some work on yourself if you feel that treating the other person like shit is part of a relationship. You seem to say, well I'm going to do it to him, so he better do it to me first! Thats a pretty skewed idea of what relationships are about.

Crav · Post by **Crav** » April 25, 2003, 12:40 pm

Out of curiousity, how many woman here on the board think that they can change men? What I mean by this is do you think you can take that asshole who has a lot of passion and provides excitment in your life into someone who is nicer, but still has that passion? I've always thought that woman go back to the assholes because they some how think they can change them into someone more workable. More importantly though do women look for men who have flaws you can change, men they think need just the right woman in order for them to become better people? I am probably wrong on this, but still it's just something I've observed.

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » April 25, 2003, 12:42 pm

What sort of shitholes are you guys going to that seem to be filled with these loser women with low (no) self esteem?

They are everywhere. There must be a factory somwhere cranking them out. Almost every woman I have met has had self esteem issues at one time or another. It's always linked to looks in one way or another. It's a chick thing, so I don't really know or understand the ins and outs of it all.

Samoseus · Post by **Samoseus** » April 25, 2003, 12:43 pm

Bro,

Just be yourself.

Thats the best that you can do.

Whenever I go out, I just go to have fun. Get crazy...i dont care lol If punani happens.....it'll happen naturally.

Just dont give that hungry look....like you were in a desert for days and now dying for a drink. Ladies got that weird radar bullshit that can detect that shit and it sets off a red flag in their mind as to why havent you had sex or maybe theres a valid reason you havent had sex so they should stay away, etc

Who knows...lololol

I dont have a poblem scoring...but then again im not looking for it either. I just go to have fun..to party...

All in all....just be yourself. Dont think about needing to have sex or else all the time. Just enjoy life and let it happen....

Samo out....

miir · Post by **miir** » April 25, 2003, 12:52 pm

What guys considering being a "nice guy", I see as weakness. If you let me walk all over you because you want to get into my panties, I will. If you keep taking the abuse, I'll see you as a wimp, and you'll never get anywhere.

There's a big difference in being a nice guy and being a spineless loser.

There's a lot of grey area inbetween the 2 extremes.

I guess I have a different outlook on this situation as I was rarely the one to make the first move. I wasn't into pickup lines and 'meet markets'. I went out to bars and clubs and hung out with several different groups of friends. When I met women through friends, my motives were just to hang out and be 'friends'. My intentions were genuine as I was usually dating a few different women any given time.. (had a few bad experiences with 'steady' relationships when I was younger) and didn't have much desire to complicate my life more.... I guess I was just lucky.

miir · Post by **miir** » April 25, 2003, 12:54 pm

Out of curiousity, how many woman here on the board think that they can change men?

The oath they recite at the end of the Red Green Show....

I'm a man
And I can change
If I have to
I guess..

Cracks me up....

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » April 25, 2003, 12:56 pm

Crav wrote:Out of curiousity, how many woman here on the board think that they can change men? What I mean by this is do you think you can take that asshole who has a lot of passion and provides excitment in your life into someone who is nicer, but still has that passion? I've always thought that woman go back to the assholes because they some how think they can change them into someone more workable. More importantly though do women look for men who have flaws you can change, men they think need just the right woman in order for them to become better people? I am probably wrong on this, but still it's just something I've observed.

You can't change anyone, male or female. You may be in a situation that helps the other person realize some things about themselves which may lead to a change, but you're just incidental. People change only when they want to make the effort and thats really rare, considering most people can't look at themselves objectively enough.

And Samo, yeah that "hungry" look is creepy shit. Guys at bars lurking around usually have that look. 90% of the times I was approached in a bar I blew the guys off because they looked like they were desperate. The other 10% were guys who weren't wandering around apart from their friends and who approached me with a real jovial friendliness that I liked.

Edit: A nice smile is everything. If Winnow had approached me in a bar during my single days I would have talked to him. Of course I don't know how long I would have talked to him though

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » April 25, 2003, 12:57 pm

The vast majority of women are headcases with self-esteem issues, and the vast majority of men are too stuck in the frat-boy stereotype to see anything beyond it. While I agree with Kyoukan about the social expectations put upon women, keep in mind that these expectations cut both ways. The source of hope is that most guys are just as bad as most girls.

If you're the kind of girl who likes assholes or who likes to be degraded, see you. I don't want a passive woman, I want an equal.

Pilsburry, think about it this way. That girl who's getting fucked in your guest bedroom right now: would you want to fuck her? Without knowing anything about her or what she looks like, I can guarantee you that I would not.

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » April 25, 2003, 1:07 pm

It's sad times when someone even feels the need to post a poll like this. Degrading someone intentionally is never ok. Any self respecting female(male) knows this. Any female(male) with low self esteem should be taught this. Don't conform to unacceptable behavior just because it gets you laid. And don't excuse unacceptable behavior by claiming "well she was a slut anyways".

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable if degredation of any form was a common behavioral pattern in my friends. I'd suggest a new circle of friends.

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » April 25, 2003, 1:10 pm

Lala, may I take a moment to point out that this was not about "relationships"? Pils asked what it takes to get his dick wet.

Crav · Post by **Crav** » April 25, 2003, 1:11 pm

Yes I know people don't change, if there is any change it's just that person developing more fully into what they have always been. Real change is rare hence the term "life changing experience". However, I don't know how many people realize this. I was just wondering what the people on the board thought, since I've met some of you in rl and others I've known in game or through other friends. It's just an observations I had made

.

Ooga[foh] · Post by **Ooga[foh]** » April 25, 2003, 1:12 pm

Confidence is the key. You can't ever love someone else unless you love yourself. Being a cocky asshole will get you laid, but it won't get you a life long partner. Relationships that are built on a foundation like that are doomed for failure. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high nowadays? People are so trapped in this material culture and bling bling facade that relationships are being built for all the wrong reasons. Confidence radiates from a person. You can see a self confident person a mile away. Confidence brings success in every aspect of your life.

If you don't have self confidence, don't even bother trying to date. Make a list of the reasons you aren't self-confident and figure out what you need to change in your life to acheive that confidence. Talk it out with friends, family or even someone professioanl if you need to. The good ones don't come easy, but when one does come your way, it will be worth every second of the wait.

Confidence, respect and kindness is all you need. Staying true to yourself always pays off in the end. You may not be scoring a piece of ass everynight, but when you look back on this 25 years down the road and you're with the love of your life, you'll laugh at all your buddies who are on their 5th marriage with kids all over the place and probably a nice history of sexually transmitted diseases. Don't try so hard to find love, it's a lot better when you let it surprise you.

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » April 25, 2003, 1:15 pm

Ooga's turning me on. Pic's plz.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » April 25, 2003, 1:15 pm

Shaerra wrote:Lala, may I take a moment to point out that this was not about "relationships"? Pils asked what it takes to get his dick wet.

Your post doesn't read like you're talking about a one-night stand. Even still, I agree with Sirensa in that it is not OK in any situation to degrade, demean or abuse another person.

Fameen · Post by **Fameen** » April 25, 2003, 1:20 pm

Just go out with the intention of having a good time with friends. Don't go out with the intention of looking for someone to hook up with. Women can sense desperation and they don't find it attractive.

Learn to be content being single and develop your own interests. Even when you do find the right person for a relationship, you still want to be an individual and have your own interests. Nothing is more of a turn-off then someone who agrees with everything you say and likes everything you like. Nobody wants a mimic, but someone with a mind of their own.

For some reason a person content being single is more attractive for a relationship. A desperate person is a major turn-off.

VeeshanVault

Is it necessary to degrade a woman before sex?

Is it?

Is it necessary to degrade a woman before sex?

Re: Is it necessary to degrade a woman before sex?

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