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Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » March 27, 2003, 1:05 pm

http://home.fuse.net/kylere

Jaxomer · Post by **Jaxomer** » March 27, 2003, 1:23 pm

Ha ha, I love your banner ad!

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » March 27, 2003, 2:17 pm

Nice we have his phone number, lets all call at 2am

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 2:22 pm

Did your wife hate you for playing EQ all the time, although I know you filed for the divorce?

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » March 27, 2003, 2:31 pm

Pherr feel free to call me at 2am. But be aware that protruding into my real life will cause you to suffer physically, legally and mentally.

Sabek · Post by **Sabek** » March 27, 2003, 2:35 pm

Kylere wrote:Pherr feel free to call me at 2am. But be aware that protruding into my real life will cause you to suffer both physically, legally and mentally.

PK IRL!!!11!111!!

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » March 27, 2003, 2:42 pm

My divorce was a mixed bag.

Long story short, my wife decided she was going to divorce me about 2 months prior to actually letting me know. We lived in Arkansas and she got a job transfer back home to Michigan. She had to leave right away to help the business start-up and what-not.

I continued to live and work in Arkansas for another 2 months. I was finishing my college classes out as well as trying to sell the house. One night as we were talking on the hone I got a bad feeling from our conversation. I mean, a really bad feeling. The next day, I dropped my classes, hired a relator and rented a Ryder. 48 hours after that phone call, I was finally back with my wife. I missed her so much it hurt. However, she gave me the cold shoulder when I first saw her. I knew something bad was coming, but I was not prepared for the worst.

The next day, Ryder truck full of our stuff with the car still on the carrier, she told me that she needs some time apart. I'm not stupid. People do not take "time apart" and get back together. I had no job, no car (it was in her name. we only needed one car in AR), no place to live, and $27.00 in my pocket. What followed ended up being the darkest and most troubling time of my life. I honestly feel I only survived due to close friends.

My wife was a beautiful woman who never meant to hurt me. The hardest part to accept was the fact that she really did love me deeply. She wasn't cheating on me or anything obvious like that. Turns out that she had never had to survive on her own like she had for the previous 2 months since we had been together since we were 18. She considered it a genuine, wonderful, and self-empowering experiance. At first, she wanted her space, which I gave her. However, either without realizing it or simply not caring, she put me through living hell for the next 9 months. She just kept me hanging. I would go months without hearing from her and suddenly she would appear on my doorstep. We would have a really sincere talk (always promising to keep me in the loop about what she was thinking and feeling), and then she would break her promise everytime and never call me again for weeks or months. Short of losing a child, I cannot imagine anything that would cause so much emotional depression. I had built my life around her and she meant the word to me. Keep in mind the entire time I was in financial dire straits and was living at my best friend's dad's house. Dude, it fucked me up.

To make a long story longer, we eventually got back together and got a really nice apartment. Things actually got back to normal rather fast. However, there were little things that bothered me. I started to realize that all the fantastic things I had missed and fantasised about my life with my wife were different. Whenever she did something I would deem as petty, I would ask myself "I went through emotional hell for this?". That is obviously simplfying things, but you get the point. Also, Michigan was not like life in Arkansas, where neither of us had any family within 800 sq. miles. In the previous 9 months she had aquired some new frineds that I didn't like. They were all in thier late 40's and 50's and I had absolutely nothing in common with them. Ths further stressed the relationship.

We lived together for about 6 months and she stated asking about buyin a house. That's when it really hit me. I did not trust my wife. Everything was absolutely perfect in Arkansas and she turned her back on me without even bothering to talk about things first. I was suddenly concerned about getting another house with her, or even worse, having children. I didn't trust her and I couldn't forgive her no matter how hard I tried. I really wanted to, but I honestly think the previous 9 months had destroyed a vital part of my reason for being in love with her.

To make matters worse, I had a girl who I work with who made me feel like a school kid again with constant flirting and an obvious attraction. I looked at this girl and realized how much I could love her. Only after I felt that did I realize how much I could never love my wife the same way again. All potential was gone in my eyes. It crushed me. I made the decision to talk about these concerns with my wife. I moved out less than 20 days after the talk. Divorce proceeding took another year and 5 months. Neither one of us was really willing to make the final death blow to our marriage. During that time we severed all ties with each others friends and family. Money, furniture, and things like that were never once argued over and I don't recall an angry word being spoken. Only lots of crying and hugging. I haven't spoken to my ex-wife since, even though she lives 1/2 mile from me.

The hardest part is realizing that it was nobody's fault. No one did or didn't do anything other than be true to themselves. In hindsight, I even have to admit that what my wife did to me when I returned from AR, although extremely hard on me, was very brave of her. She was true to herself and did what she felt was neccessary, which I cannot help but respect.

Even now, a year + later, it still hurts to rethink all this. Last I heard, she was still living alone with no intentions of dating.

Good luck in your divorce proceedings. Get it over with as fast as possible and get on with your life as soon as you can. That's the only advice I can give. Divorce is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

Thank you all for reading my fucked up life story

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » March 27, 2003, 2:46 pm

2 points....
1st: it isn't real smart to give out your name and addy to any fool on the web, yes we know about webtools, but posting it so openly is kinda silly

2nd: making threats about my physical well being makes you look kinda silly

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 2:48 pm

Pherr the Dorf wrote:2 points....
1st: it isn't real smart to give out your name and addy to any fool on the web, yes we know about webtools, but posting it so openly is kinda silly

2nd: making threats about my physical well being makes you look kinda silly

I sense a RL fight coming on, what city is it gonna be in?

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » March 27, 2003, 2:50 pm

The Mambo in Mendocino has a nice ring to it, but I'd have hometown (county anyways)advantage

sarlen · Post by **sarlen** » March 27, 2003, 2:52 pm

Very cool Kyl, looks like we were at Carson bout the same time.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » March 27, 2003, 2:55 pm

Pherr you can backtrack all you want newbie but you initiated a real life threat against me, and encouraged others to do the same. I think you can suck me.

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 2:55 pm

OKAY, whos next on the "Tales of Divorce?"

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » March 27, 2003, 2:56 pm

Oh yeah Gurugurmaki, EQ kept my marriage going as long as it did, without escaping into EQ I would have been divorced years and years and years ago.

Yes I hate EQ now.

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 2:59 pm

Kylere wrote:Oh yeah Gurugurmaki, EQ kept my marriage going as long as it did, without escaping into EQ I would have been divorced years and years and years ago.

Yes I hate EQ now.

Did your wife play, or was that your get away from her time? Did she mind you playing it. Obviously don't answer any of these questions, but you seem comfortable doing so. My wife hates with a passion EQ, but she wanted DSL so I am playing again. Helps that my son and duaghter play with me. EQ for the most part is teh devil to relationships, assuming only one person plays it in the household.

Arsecn · Post by **Arsecn** » March 27, 2003, 3:00 pm

Gurugurumaki wrote:
Pherr the Dorf wrote:2 points....
1st: it isn't real smart to give out your name and addy to any fool on the web, yes we know about webtools, but posting it so openly is kinda silly

2nd: making threats about my physical well being makes you look kinda silly
I sense a RL fight coming on, what city is it gonna be in?

Bend him over a stump!

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » March 27, 2003, 3:00 pm

Kylere wrote:Pherr you can backtrack all you want newbie but you initiated a real life threat against me, and encouraged others to do the same. I think you can suck me.

You really can't see the point? You really can't see that I was pointing out that you probably didn't realize your phone number was now posted on the board???? You really can't see I was actually NOT threatening you but instead was trying to HELP you see the mistake you made in enough time to take it down before it had more then 5 views (I was viewer number 5 or so to the post)??? Sorry I will speak slow and clear from here on out.

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 3:08 pm

Pherr-we know you will be pranking him all night tonight. PHERR THE phone calling of the DORF~

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » March 27, 2003, 3:10 pm

You didn't... breed... did you?

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » March 27, 2003, 3:10 pm

OMFG you found me out

Fargin Bastage

Cartalas · Post by **Cartalas** » March 27, 2003, 3:12 pm

Hmm I failed to see a threat from Pherr here he was making a joke that you left your # on the web site.

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » March 27, 2003, 3:14 pm

But I am a newb, one that doesn't edit his posts

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » March 27, 2003, 3:16 pm

Did your wife play, or was that your get away from her time? Did she mind you playing it. Obviously don't answer any of these questions, but you seem comfortable doing so. My wife hates with a passion EQ, but she wanted DSL so I am playing again. Helps that my son and duaghter play with me. EQ for the most part is teh devil to relationships, assuming only one person plays it in the household.

StarCraft didn't help my marriage any. However, my wife never talked about how much it bothered her that I played on the computer OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS. If she would've commnicated that, I would've altered my habits considerably.

This is going to sound odd, but I found a way to relieve OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of that "computer time tension" in a relationship. Don't keep you computer in a seperate room. My GF and I have our computers networked in my living room. It is set up in such a way that the living room/dining room are seperated by our set up. It's one huge living area where you can eat, watch movies, and play cards. My friends love the set-up because it looks very good and when they visit, the guys don't just wander off into the office, leaving the women to talk in the living room. It's all one big social setting.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » March 27, 2003, 3:21 pm

LOL, Pherr claims that he was just trying to help me by being an annoying newbie.

Sigh, some people just do not GET IT.

BTW all it takes for EQ not to have a negative effect on a relationship, is for the relationship in question to be a positive one to begin with. A time waster like EQ can conceal or reveal problems but it cannot of itself create them.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » March 27, 2003, 3:24 pm

And my mother wonders why I laugh in her face whenever she asks me when I'm gonna get married

Cartalas · Post by **Cartalas** » March 27, 2003, 3:26 pm

masteen wrote:And my mother wonders why I laugh in her face whenever she asks me when I'm gonna get married

Just dont do it man. Marriage is like Old Country Bufffet, same old shit
everynight.

Edit: If my wife is reading this I was just kidding Hun!

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 3:30 pm

BTW all it takes for EQ not to have a negative effect on a relationship, is for the relationship in question to be a positive one to begin with. A time waster like EQ can conceal or reveal problems but it cannot of itself create them.

Sure it can create problems in and of itself. My wife and I have a great relationship for the most part, but like any addiction, EQ was fucking it up. My wife would say stop playing, but the urge was there and I continued. I respect my wife because she wanted more time to spend with me, now I just play it mainly when shes at work, two days a week. It all comes down to handling an addiction. My wife should have just thrown the comp out the window~

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » March 27, 2003, 3:51 pm

I am a newb.... wow, that hurts... again, sorry if you didn't see the point, which quite obviously you didn't.

Kguku · Post by **Kguku** » March 27, 2003, 3:51 pm

I R PEEKAY U PHERR RAWR

I think Kylere took some Masekle pills or something with that comment.

Adelrune Argenti · Post by **Adelrune Argenti** » March 27, 2003, 4:12 pm

EQ can be and is an escape. I used it that way during the last part of my marriage. It helped me to survive in a situation I knew I was unhappy in but didnt know how to get out of. People change, and sometimes, that change is not something that is compatible with you anymore. I definately am not putting all the issues onto my ex as I know where I am at fault. I have however noticed I dont have the pressing desire to play as much EQ or other games as I did during the marriage.

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » March 27, 2003, 4:23 pm

Fairweather Pure wrote:To make matters worse, I had a girl who I work with who made me feel like a school kid again with constant flirting and an obvious attraction. I looked at this girl and realized how much I could love her. Only after I felt that did I realize how much I could never love my wife the same way again. All potential was gone in my eyes. It crushed me.

OMFG

I'm crying at work, ass.

Oreck · Post by **Oreck** » March 27, 2003, 4:24 pm

I always wounder why people confide personal information in total strangers. In doing so you are not only asking to be judged, but you are opening your self up to be sentanced too. Mombo are you picking on people again... Your missles can not hit the US from singapor... 8P

hehe.. Anyways lighten up and have some fun go get drunk and laid and soon it will be all behind ya.

Oreo

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 4:27 pm

Shaerra wrote:
Fairweather Pure wrote:To make matters worse, I had a girl who I work with who made me feel like a school kid again with constant flirting and an obvious attraction. I looked at this girl and realized how much I could love her. Only after I felt that did I realize how much I could never love my wife the same way again. All potential was gone in my eyes. It crushed me.
OMFG

I'm crying at work, ass.

Why are you crying? I wanna be a school kid again. Speaking of that anyone watch Married by America and the sexual fantasies part? That one ho dressed up like a school kid, was shamelessly funny ROFRRORHAR!

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » March 27, 2003, 4:29 pm

this thread makes me sad

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » March 27, 2003, 4:50 pm

I shouldn't speak on Kylere's behalf, but I'll comment anyway.

Kylere's marriage was done long before EQ was even in beta. I met him back maybe around the time UO was released, or actually I think I met him before that, but we didn't know eachother that well back then, I like met him all drunk and shit one new years at like 4am....

Anyway in the 4 years or so that I have known him, his marriage was always beyond the point of no return. His wife simply was too...bleh...she frumped out, got involved in church shit, took no interest in his activities like EQ (although he took none in her church shit, but I don't blame him hehe) they simply grew apart, I don't even think I *EVER* saw them speak to eachother, I take that back, one time she told Kylere that I was waiting at the door for him.

The entire time I knew him it was already pretty much just a marriage out of convienance...she said she would ruin him if he filed for divorce and he had no real reason to want to be ruined. And it's damn hard to just write off half of everything you own unless your actually mad or have a reason.....but he wasn't really "mad" he was just "stuck"....hell I'd love to have someone chip in for utilities and groceries around here.

Eventually he just realized that in order to improve his situation, he had to end it. He wasn't mad but he was unhappy, she certaintly didn't look happy either...to be honest I don't know why she is being such a bitch...she should be happy too, but I guess that's what those church people teach you...if your unhappy stick with it and if the other person still won't stay, do as much damage to them as you can, it's what jesus would do.

I don't hate Kylere's Ex- I didn't know her well enough to hate her, and I didn't want to either. I just don't like the childish shit she is trying to pull on the way out, it just further validates Kylere's reason for filing for divorce.

I mean think about it.....if you don't want a marriage to end wouldn't you maybe start to take an interest in your spouse again? Be nice, take an interest in what they are doing....no..she moves out without saying a word, drags her feet on the paperwork, and starts hassling him through the public utilites, even dragged him to court on some stupid loophole I won't get into because I *NEVER* want to see that loophole used on anyone again. It's lame.

So you can just tell by her actions, there was no love left there to save. They both knew it, but Kylere is handling it in a more mature fashion.

P.S. I still hate lawyers, politics, and our legal system.

Ahmik · Post by **Ahmik** » March 27, 2003, 4:55 pm

heh my ex-wife and I had networked computers in our kitchen so we could hang out together and stufff.....

her brothers told her about EQ... we got a copy, she started to play, I was watching... I went and got EQ for myself...

We grouped together, hunted together, joined guilds together, and had a damn good time together...

then she started to play while I was at work (she was an unemployed housewife)...

One day I realized that my wife had been stolen by a 52 Druid!

A few months later we were divorced and she was on a plane to another country!

My life improved significantly after that...

retiredwikit · Post by **retiredwikit** » March 27, 2003, 4:58 pm

Glad I quit EQ long ago, and glad I'm not married yet

Pilsburry · Post by **Pilsburry** » March 27, 2003, 5:02 pm

Fucking druids, I bet it was a halfling.

retiredwikit · Post by **retiredwikit** » March 27, 2003, 5:02 pm

probably

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 5:03 pm

Lets here her side of the story!!

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » March 27, 2003, 5:03 pm

what is it w/ chicks going to Europe for EQ hook ups.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » March 27, 2003, 5:13 pm

Because it's not cheating if you're on another continent?

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 5:14 pm

masteen wrote:Because it's not cheating if you're on another continent?

Always thought it was another state. Where I live its called the 270 rule. If you cheat on your partner outside of I-270 (freeway that goes around our city), then its coolio~

retiredwikit · Post by **retiredwikit** » March 27, 2003, 5:15 pm

Actually, I thought it was another zip code...

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 27, 2003, 5:16 pm

retiredwikit wrote:Actually, I thought it was another zip code...

Lets just compromise and say neighborhood

retiredwikit · Post by **retiredwikit** » March 27, 2003, 5:16 pm

alright

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » March 27, 2003, 5:24 pm

Gurugurumaki wrote:
retiredwikit wrote:Actually, I thought it was another zip code...
Lets just compromise and say neighborhood

what if the person you bang is simply *From* far away. Like if you were to give some love to a lovely brasiliana?

retiredwikit · Post by **retiredwikit** » March 27, 2003, 5:26 pm

Voronwë wrote:
Gurugurumaki wrote:
retiredwikit wrote:Actually, I thought it was another zip code...
Lets just compromise and say neighborhood
what if the person you bang is simply *From* far away. Like if you were to give some love to a lovely brasiliana?

If you were in a different neighborhood as your wife/husband then it would be alright, per the rules set forth by Guru and myself.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » March 27, 2003, 7:24 pm

Voronwë wrote:
Gurugurumaki wrote:
retiredwikit wrote:Actually, I thought it was another zip code...
Lets just compromise and say neighborhood
what if the person you bang is simply *From* far away. Like if you were to give some love to a lovely brasiliana?

I don't think that should be cheating because most of those girls are so brutally hot as to reduce a man's brain to slag.

Oreck · Post by **Oreck** » March 27, 2003, 8:38 pm

Cant it just be the next door neighbor?

That would make things so much simpler...