I'm a Bad American

Brotha · Post by **Brotha** » March 11, 2003, 8:56 pm

Got this email, I don't agree w/ all of them but there are several that I do. Do any of these ring true for anyone else?:

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I thi2nk fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever cancelled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're
breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies even if you are President of the United States.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

We need our country back!

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » March 11, 2003, 9:12 pm

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I've never had anyone try to sell me a Big Mac in any language other than English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

Where do you live that they aren't?!?

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

A-fucking-MEN - costs me $60 to fill my vehicle. /rude

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » March 11, 2003, 9:19 pm

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
Where do you live that they aren't?!?

Just about anywhere. We're talking about private citizens and not the city sponsored fireworks displays. I don't consider sparklers to be fireworks.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?
A-fucking-MEN - costs me $60 to fill my vehicle. /rude

Gas guzzler owners unite!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

Implying what, if you don't own a gun you're a dumb American?

Vetiria · Post by **Vetiria** » March 11, 2003, 9:27 pm

Sirensa wrote:
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
Where do you live that they aren't?!?

illegal in IL. have to go to Indiana to buy, then bring them back into IL illeg....err, let them off in Indiana. Yeah, that's the ticket.........

Ajran · Post by **Ajran** » March 11, 2003, 9:40 pm

Sirensa wrote:
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
Where do you live that they aren't?!?

They are legal in certain areas of South Dakota where I live. I live in the Black Hills area and certain areas are designated "Black Hills Fire Protection Zones" no fireworks.. not even sparklers..

In Brooklyn, New York where i was born and raised fireworks were illegal.

was a huge shock when the family moved to cailfornia and there was a fireworks stand in every parking lot months before the holiday.

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » March 11, 2003, 9:57 pm

We get the good fireworks on the Indian reservations or Washington State - some are illegal, but no one seems to care

Souldinkou Soulfury · Post by **Souldinkou Soulfury** » March 11, 2003, 10:24 pm

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're
breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

Thats not the point. Its when cops take advantage of someone and assaults them in small situations.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

I think your a dumbass. I own guns, and I dont hunt animals with them.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I thought everyone was created equal in this country.. heh. Most dont expect and entitlements, but they do expect respect for working harder then some cant even imagine.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

Everyone has to make money some how.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

Wtf is this from? Talk to the guy with the Ambercombie & Fitch t-shit and snowboard about that.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

Working on fuel cells smart guy.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

It's not your money so dont worry about it.

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

It just makes you a redneck.

Pahreyia · Post by **Pahreyia** » March 11, 2003, 10:30 pm

And just who the fuck are you, Mr. High and Mighty?

Drustwyn · Post by **Drustwyn** » March 11, 2003, 10:53 pm

I hate forwards.

Post by **Xouqoa** » March 11, 2003, 11:28 pm

This post sucks.

Acies · Post by **Acies** » March 11, 2003, 11:33 pm

It is all good Xouqoa

/pharm

Axien_Dellusions · Post by **Axien_Dellusions** » March 12, 2003, 2:08 am

I agree with most of them. Some of them are silly but well said.

As for the fireworks...Here in San Antonio it's almost impossible to set off fireworks on your own property without getting caught. My mother got a fine for $750 for letting my little sister play with sparklers on New Years inside city limits.

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » March 12, 2003, 2:10 am

I'm all for protecting small children and all but $750 is rather excessive in my opinion.

Kelshara · Post by **Kelshara** » March 12, 2003, 2:14 am

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

That is quite possibly the single most ridiculous thing I have seen on this board to this day. And that says a lot.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » March 12, 2003, 3:22 am

The HMFIC is pharming! Oh my...

Souldinkou Soulfury · Post by **Souldinkou Soulfury** » March 12, 2003, 3:44 am

And just who the fuck are you, Mr. High and Mighty?

< Check it out. Im Souldinkou Soulfury

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » March 12, 2003, 3:53 am

Souldinkou Soulfury wrote:< Check it out. Im Souldinkou Soulfury

hahahahahaha

observers · Post by **observers** » March 12, 2003, 3:58 am

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.

AWSOME!!

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » March 12, 2003, 8:44 am

Brotha wrote:
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

Because racism is completely eradicated from the land and receive equal opportunites everywhere.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

It will be sold in english, even if you buy a big mac in Russia. Then again, the idiot that conjured this gem up hasn't seen a non-english speaking individual for all his life (except for, maybe, his landscapers he hires, ba-dum-bump).

I thi2nk fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think so too. Nothing funnier than reading about fat drunk white guys with missing thumbs the day after.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

Except for those towelheads I bet. Ohh, and I'm sure this isn't the guy who says, "Damn them Jews got off on our holidays and theirs". Also, don't force me to pray anywhere public and don't think those little laws about movie theatres or classrooms that are always trying to get passed aren't a trojan horse for this.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I'm sure his local yokal church has never solicited money from him.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

I love this, maybe people will finally buy a car I can see around on the fucking road and only take up the parking spot they were supposed to be aiming for.

We need our country back!

Because all the coloureds, mexicans, and iiiiiiranians be stealing it from us *hic*.

Animalor · Post by **Animalor** » March 12, 2003, 8:58 am

Sirensa wrote: A-fucking-MEN - costs me $60 to fill my vehicle. /rude

Yes hello there are other cars than SUV's

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » March 12, 2003, 9:18 am

Quote:
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

Except for those towelheads I bet. Ohh, and I'm sure this isn't the guy who says, "Damn them Jews got off on our holidays and theirs". Also, don't force me to pray anywhere public and don't think those little laws about movie theatres or classrooms that are always trying to get passed aren't a trojan horse for this.

Oh that's a little harsh. They're of COURSE welcome to worship so long as they GO BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM TO DO IT.

Poor, huddled, white skinned, christian, english-speaking masses. Right?
Seems these BAD AMERICANS are a pretty parochial, small, bitter, narrowminded bunch.

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » March 12, 2003, 9:51 am

Chidoro wrote:
I thi2nk fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think so too. Nothing funnier than reading about fat drunk white guys with missing thumbs the day after.

Spoken like a true New Jersyite

If Bubba didn't do it with fireworks, some other act preceded by "Hey Billy Bob, watch this" would do it anyway. You can't protect people from thier own stupidity

vn_Tanc wrote:Poor, huddled, white skinned, christian, english-speaking masses. Right?
Seems these BAD AMERICANS are a pretty parochial, small, bitter, narrowminded bunch.

The vocal idiotic minority yes, we have morons of all races, creeds and colors here that spew idiotic mumbo jumbo all the time.

I generally ask the Nation of Islam guys who're on the corner asking for donations about thier church stance and policy on race. They get mad and walk away.

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » March 12, 2003, 10:41 am

Aabidano wrote: I generally ask the Nation of Islam guys who're on the corner asking for donations about thier church stance and policy on race. They get mad and walk away.

You should head down to the corners of 7th and 34th or 14th and 5th in lovely Manhattan. People usually don't ask these nation of islam guys anything. They just walk past hurriedly and hope they make it in one piece. You won't make them mad as they've been mad all of their lives.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » March 12, 2003, 10:47 am

/yawn

Cartalas · Post by **Cartalas** » March 12, 2003, 10:53 am

Chidoro wrote:
Aabidano wrote: I generally ask the Nation of Islam guys who're on the corner asking for donations about thier church stance and policy on race. They get mad and walk away.
You should head down to the corners of 7th and 34th or 14th and 5th in lovely Manhattan. People usually don't ask these nation of islam guys anything. They just walk past hurriedly and hope they make it in one piece. You won't make them mad as they've been mad all of their lives.

ALL i have to say on that is fuck em

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » March 12, 2003, 10:55 am

Just don't say it TO them

Fallanthas · Post by **Fallanthas** » March 12, 2003, 11:26 am

Brotha wrote:

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

Because racism is completely eradicated from the land and receive equal opportunites everywhere.

Because entitlements and quota hiring are racist by definition. They accomplish nothing except prolonging resentment between people who ought to know better.

The post is a bit extreme, but there is a hell of a lot of good old common sense in there. Thanks Brotha.

observers · Post by **observers** » March 12, 2003, 11:42 am

Found the origional post.

PS. edit: George Carlen is a comedian in the USA.
Subject: Bad American
AMEN GEORGE
YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican! I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything, you don't work for!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English. And if you are a citizen of the United States start speaking the language.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, which branch of the Government he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.
Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents, a married man and woman.
I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies even if you are President of the United States.
And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know. We need our country back!

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » March 12, 2003, 12:59 pm

Chidoro wrote:
Brotha wrote:
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
Because racism is completely eradicated from the land and receive equal opportunites everywhere.

Being treated BETTER because your skin is a different color is JUST AS RACIST as being treated WORSE because your skin is a different color. For some, organizations such as the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, Black Entertainment Television, Miss Black America, United Negro College Fund, etc are not racist organizations. Substitute White in any of those organizations names and watch the riots level LA, NY and DC.

Chidoro wrote:
Brotha wrote:I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.
It will be sold in english, even if you buy a big mac in Russia. Then again, the idiot that conjured this gem up hasn't seen a non-english speaking individual for all his life (except for, maybe, his landscapers he hires, ba-dum-bump).

I think what they are saying is, if you have 10 people working at a McDonalds, why the fuck do you put the person with the worst accent on the drive-through? This happens every day at MANY businesses. Can this person not work at a different station? Is this person God's gift to drive throughs, with the one exception being that whole "the customers can't understand a fucking word she's saying" thing?

Chidoro wrote:
Brotha wrote:I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
I think so too. Nothing funnier than reading about fat drunk white guys with missing thumbs the day after.

White guys? You're right, racism isn't eradicated from the land. Apparently, sexism isn't either.

Chidoro wrote:
Brotha wrote:I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
Except for those towelheads I bet. Ohh, and I'm sure this isn't the guy who says, "Damn them Jews got off on our holidays and theirs". Also, don't force me to pray anywhere public and don't think those little laws about movie theatres or classrooms that are always trying to get passed aren't a trojan horse for this.

The author said anyone. Why must you change their words? You're so keen to trash the person on a point by point basis that you're now making shit up. That's fucking lame.

Chidoro wrote:
Brotha wrote:I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I'm sure his local yokal church has never solicited money from him.

Who cares if his church solicits money from him? WTF does that have to do with the fact that Jesse Jackson is funded to act an ass?

Chidoro wrote:
Brotha wrote:And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?
I love this, maybe people will finally buy a car I can see around on the fucking road and only take up the parking spot they were supposed to be aiming for.

Yeah, it's not like they're making 10 parking spots each 1 foot smaller so that they can fit 1 extra car in. I mean, hell, cars have always been small! Ever since the old days of the compact covered wagons! Who the hell do these people think they are to buy a vehicle large enough for their family! The nerve!

Chidoro wrote:
Brotha wrote:We need our country back!
Because all the coloureds, mexicans, and iiiiiiranians be stealing it from us *hic*.

You have a half-track mind.

Atokal · Post by **Atokal** » March 12, 2003, 1:05 pm

Good Post Shae

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » March 12, 2003, 1:10 pm

I seriously doubt George Carlin wrote that.

beyond that, this thread makes me want to visit AOL messageboards in hope of finding slightly more engaging content.

edit: 2 years ago Carlin denies writing this:

http://www.georgecarlin.com/georgecarli ... bogus.html

TWO YEAR OLD BULLSHIT SPAM IS GETTING POSTED?

you are lucky i am not a mod, i'd give you a 24hr ban Brotha!

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » March 12, 2003, 1:36 pm

I love George Carlin and I think some of what is listed above is pretty funny as well.

However anyone who has ever truly listened to George Carlin knows he is more of a socialist. No, not a Commie for all you freaks out there, but a socialist who believes in free enterprise but also that we should take a little more care of each other (see Germany, Switzerland, Denmark etc...). I mean he was the "Hippy Dippy Weather Man" and all

of course many people reading this board weren't even born then and even I was only a little tike myself.

Lets all face it, people who actively smoke a LOT of dope (like George) just aren't looking to bomb people or be pissed off if someone isn't speaking english when serving a Big Mac. They just WANT the Big Mac... and some Cheetoos... Extra Cheese Pizza... Funions... Pop Tarts etc...

Marb

Gurugurumaki · Post by **Gurugurumaki** » March 12, 2003, 1:39 pm

did someone say Freedom Fries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » March 12, 2003, 1:40 pm

I think we need a new thread on that!

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » March 12, 2003, 1:42 pm

It will be sold in english, even if you buy a big mac in Russia.

What about in France? What if I want a quarter pounder with cheese?

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » March 12, 2003, 1:44 pm

That's a Royale with cheese. You see they have the metric system over there. But check this out! You know what they put on fries? Mayonaise. I seen 'em do it. They drenched them in that shit.

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » March 12, 2003, 2:30 pm

Zamtuk wrote:That's a Royale with cheese. You see they have the metric system over there. But check this out! You know what they put on fries? Mayonaise. I seen 'em do it. They drenched them in that shit.

I don't think it's even Mayo, it's more like a Miracle Whip. Really sweet. It's also what you get if you ask for "ranch dressing". At least when I did a term of college in London.. they also called it Salad Cream.

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » March 12, 2003, 2:32 pm

Salad Cream and Mayo are indeed different. Both go with FREEDOM FRIES quite nicely.
You'll see a lot more of the former in the UK and the latter on continental europe.

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » March 12, 2003, 2:35 pm

vn_Tanc wrote:Salad Cream and Mayo are indeed different. Both go with FREEDOM FRIES quite nicely.

If it will clog your arteries, the Brits will use it as a condiment

Bubble and sqeak anyone?

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » March 12, 2003, 3:17 pm

Conditioned by thousands of years of living on an island that only supports diary farming and root vegetables, you betcha

Mind you we didn't invent cheese-fried-chilli-chicken-steak-shakes or wtf ever those crazy yanks eat

PS: Salad Cream/Mayo on chips, sorry FREEDOM FRIES, is a new thing only really done by them liberal intellectuals. Tradition demands only salt and vinegar (although in sufficient quentities to cause respiratory failure). Tomato Ketchup (Heinz, of course) is also acceptable.

Neost · Post by **Neost** » March 12, 2003, 3:42 pm

For those interested, here's a snopes article on the author of the above. Some stated that Ted Nugent was the author but apparently it appeared elsewhere:

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/carlin.htm

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » March 12, 2003, 5:07 pm

I was going to refute you Shae since you obviously have the answer to all that is white and right but it's really not worth my time. Atok's support of your post is more than enough justification to know that you're fucking clueless and that it's been shown to be as such, repeatedly.

Vetiria · Post by **Vetiria** » March 12, 2003, 5:21 pm

vn_Tanc wrote:Mind you we didn't invent cheese-fried-chilli-chicken-steak-shakes or wtf ever those crazy yanks eat

That actually sounds pretty good. Think I'll head to Steak-n-Shake now.

Marbus · Post by **Marbus** » March 12, 2003, 5:33 pm

I don't know what we didn't just start calling them "chips" rather than Freedom Fries... maybe it makes me a bad person but I think that name is kind of lame. Since we don't like the Frence would could have called them Irish Fries, or Greek Fries or English Fries or... WAIT how about just

FRIES!

Marb

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » March 12, 2003, 5:42 pm

Sirensa wrote:
Zamtuk wrote:That's a Royale with cheese. You see they have the metric system over there. But check this out! You know what they put on fries? Mayonaise. I seen 'em do it. They drenched them in that shit.
I don't think it's even Mayo, it's more like a Miracle Whip. Really sweet. It's also what you get if you ask for "ranch dressing". At least when I did a term of college in London.. they also called it Salad Cream.

/cough Pulp Fiction

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » March 12, 2003, 6:11 pm

vn_Tanc wrote:PS: Salad Cream/Mayo on chips, sorry FREEDOM FRIES, is a new thing only really done by them liberal intellectuals. Tradition demands only salt and vinegar (although in sufficient quentities to cause respiratory failure). Tomato Ketchup (Heinz, of course) is also acceptable.

IT'S THE QUEEN'S OWN KETCHUP AAHHRRRGHH!

Shaerra · Post by **Shaerra** » March 12, 2003, 6:24 pm

vn_Tanc wrote:PS: Salad Cream/Mayo on chips, sorry FREEDOM FRIES, is a new thing only really done by them liberal intellectuals. Tradition demands only salt and vinegar (although in sufficient quentities to cause respiratory failure). Tomato Ketchup (Heinz, of course) is also acceptable.

REAL tomato ketchup, Eddie?

miir · Post by **miir** » March 12, 2003, 9:31 pm

This thread is teh win!

ps: Acies, chnage your avatar, that site doesn't allow inage linking and the image we all see is quite reoulsive.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » March 13, 2003, 12:53 am

Nice avatar miir.

VeeshanVault

I'm a Bad American

I'm a Bad American

Re: I'm a Bad American

Re: I'm a Bad American

Re: I'm a Bad American