Day life in Sparty

Sparty · Post by **Sparty** » July 23, 2002, 11:05 am

I'm often asked what my days are like. So I figured I'de carry a notepad around 1 full day and write how my day goes. So, here she is, a day in the life of Sparty.

Monday, July 22

3:30....Hi, its 3:30 am, and I just woke up to get ready for work. I'm going PP right now, and there is a little bit of a sting. Im guessing the is there because I accidently pinched my penis on the toilet seat.

3:43....Im dressed up and ready for work, but I dont have to leave for another 20 minutes. Im not really sure what the fuck to do for 20 minutes. I was thinking, if my brother wears my shirt while hes having sex with his girlfriend, does that mean ive had sex with his girlfriend? I hate when he takes my fucking clothes. He always brags, I gotta a bunch of fucking money but he never buys clothes. he gotta fucking take them from me. And he stretches them bitches out to. Seriously, I dont really mind that he takes my clothes, but I hate how disrespectful he is towards them. he doesnt bring them back. He stuffs them under his bed and I dont see them for months. Im gonna fucking shoot him. Maybe.

3:56....Im leaving for work now. I love driving around at 3:00 in the morning. Some times, I like to wake up really early, then drive over to main street and watch the bums sleep. If I was a bum, I would have a kickass house. I would chill behind some store and get a bunch of boxes, then I would make like a mansion box house. Windows and everything.

4:07....I just hit my fucking hand on the fucking door. I hate fucking door.

4:10....Works starting, cya in a bit

9:45....Ok, works over. It was a shitty day at work, my tricks brought no money in. Nah, im fucking with you, im not a pimp, I just sort boxes. If I was a pimp, I would slap my bitches.

10:15...Im taking a shower. Showers are so depressing. I wonder if I shave my pubic hairs, my penis would look bigger. Well, I'll just shave a little. Hmm, not even, i'll shave a little more. OMG, i looked like im friggin ten yrs old and I just got done watching mary-kate and ashley. Fuck, I can believe I just shaved it all off. It looks like an elderly mans nose.

10:26...After shave....AHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

10:35...Time for my daily nap. Im turning on a little sublime to relax me.

1:15pm...Awake! Im hungry as a mo fo. I just grabed some chips, and im in the process of eating them. Im going to name my son Maverick. I wish my name was Maverick. I would be all like, hey, im Maverick. Yup. Damn I shouldnt have shaved down there.

4:15....Just got back from my volunteer job at the handicap home. Its a home for retards and stuff. Great place.

5:45...Time for summer football workouts. Im heading to the school now. I may show the kids my penis just to see what they think of it while its shaved.

6:40...Hey, my name is coach fag, im writing to a bunch of dumbasses on the internet. I eat dog shit. Bah, one of the kids just grabed my note pad and wrote that. What a little fuck.

7:15... Mike says hes gonna tell his dad that I showed him my penis. So, i baught him the new brittney spears album and he says he wont tell.

8:30...I just robbed a jiffy store. I rob a jiffy store about once a week. I give the stolen money to the bums on main street. Basically im like robin hood. Sparty hood. HAHAHAHHAHAH, sparty hood. fuck you.

9:15... I hate you guys

10:45...Time for bed, I just put on my Dukes of Hazard undies, and im laying down to watch a little TV before I go to sleep. Sweep, sponge bob is on.

11:45...ZzZzzzZ, Hellow, this is Sparty's Penis. Someone help me. Take me away from this prison.

There ya have it, a day in the life

My name is IUHLL

masteen · Post by **masteen** » July 23, 2002, 11:15 am

ROFL!

Aarinu · Post by **Aarinu** » July 23, 2002, 11:25 am

HAHAHAHAHAHA too funny

Post by **Xouqoa** » July 23, 2002, 11:28 am

haha

thanks Sparty, I needed that.

Apollyon · Post by **Apollyon** » July 23, 2002, 11:29 am

Hehehehehe

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » July 23, 2002, 11:33 am

I think I just spit water on my keyboard. ROFL Sparty!

Maxxer - Valhall · Post by **Maxxer - Valhall** » July 23, 2002, 11:42 am

Dindolur · Post by **Dindolur** » July 23, 2002, 11:44 am

Hahaha

Peny · Post by **Peny** » July 23, 2002, 11:54 am

LMAO that was funny

Sparty Hood lol with a cardboard mansion lol would make a fun movie

dalur · Post by **dalur** » July 23, 2002, 12:37 pm

Hehe

Somebody needs to save this off for when we are having a bad day.

Ninan · Post by **Ninan** » July 23, 2002, 1:25 pm

Rofl....another classic

Hammerstalker PE · Post by **Hammerstalker PE** » July 23, 2002, 1:31 pm

LOL Dukes of Hazard undies HAHAHA!

Searyx · Post by **Searyx** » July 23, 2002, 2:08 pm

I think I just spit water on my keyboard.

You THINK? You have an idea that you just might have possibly in some retrospect spit water on your keyboard?

Isn't that something you know immediately if it has or has not happened? Are you fuckin' retarded?

Great story, Spart!

Vyrulian · Post by **Vyrulian** » July 23, 2002, 2:10 pm

The question im sure thats on all our minds is....

So, does it make it look bigger?

Zvenn Eaglefist · Post by **Zvenn Eaglefist** » July 23, 2002, 2:25 pm

ROFLMAO damn thats funny shit sparty )

Revs · Post by **Revs** » July 23, 2002, 3:45 pm

We need a story about the handicap home next, please!

LOL

Ravenwind · Post by **Ravenwind** » July 23, 2002, 4:32 pm

DAmm it Sparty! When will I ever learn not to be drinking anything when I am reading something from you. Man I have Pepsi all over my desk and computer.

Rav

Vailex Darkfury · Post by **Vailex Darkfury** » July 23, 2002, 5:52 pm

HAHAHA! Someone, for the love of god, save his penis!

Drolgin Steingrinder · Post by **Drolgin Steingrinder** » July 23, 2002, 6:30 pm

Sparty scares me. In a good way.

Anyone else happy they live FAR away from this guy?

Ebumar · Post by **Ebumar** » July 24, 2002, 3:43 am

Shrug... I shave my pubes about once a week. It doesn't make it look any bigger, but the girls like it, I can tell you that.

Wait... what girls?

I meant my right hand ofcourse, SINCE I CANT GET FREAKING LAID GOD DAMNIT... im gona go shoot myself now >_<

Akaran_D · Post by **Akaran_D** » July 24, 2002, 3:49 am

I will tell you right FING now, it hurts like HELL if you get the skin caught in the razor. If you thought a zipper was bad...

Cotto · Post by **Cotto** » July 24, 2002, 4:24 am

LoL Another Genius post![/b]

Aedryn · Post by **Aedryn** » July 24, 2002, 9:12 am

Forthe · Post by **Forthe** » July 24, 2002, 10:11 am

Another glimpse into the fucked up world of sparty. Only thing missing was some illustrations.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » July 24, 2002, 6:00 pm

Thanks sparty

needed that after a shitty day

Kaldaur · Post by **Kaldaur** » July 25, 2002, 2:29 am

That is quite possibly the funniest thing I have read all day. God, what patch day will do to a man.

Krimson Klaw · Post by **Krimson Klaw** » July 25, 2002, 2:40 am

Sparty, you should bottle your nonsense and sell it on ebay, you'd be one dumb rich guy. You're funny as hell you idiot.

Sparty · Post by **Sparty** » July 25, 2002, 1:02 pm

thanks for laughing )

when i climb trees, i think about outer space.

sPArTy

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » July 25, 2002, 1:19 pm

you cant spell sparty without ART!!!

Nick · Post by **Nick** » July 26, 2002, 3:49 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sparty, I am in love with you.

Pacish · Post by **Pacish** » July 27, 2002, 6:40 am

hahaha

Physcodr00d · Post by **Physcodr00d** » July 27, 2002, 10:25 am

hahahahah, oh yea pacish eats the asscock

...

what.. ass means donkey

Joramile · Post by **Joramile** » July 27, 2002, 10:40 am

that one fag druid Twistedwolf is Pacish's lover. I wish he'd stop telling me about their experiences it is getting annoying. Help me!!!!

Oh yeah that's some funny shit.

My day is:

4:30pm wake up

4:45 - Bathroom. You know how to do it no need for detail...if you need it email me at youarearetard@DIE!.com

5:00pm - Go to mall, walk up to people, tell them you've having a shitty day and ask for a hug and watch people look at you funny. They really get pissed if you ask for their phone number...*sigh...women*

7:00pm --> whenever....TV, board postings, and stuff...yeah I have friends but they all got jobs, i was dumb and didn't find one so now i'm bored all summer.

Laterz.