2009 NCAA Football (Zamtuk Sucks!)

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 5, 2009, 4:07 pm

OhioSU barely squeaks by Navy this week?

If Pete Carroll doesn't call off the dogs next week, USC might score 100 against OhioSU, and that's with a rookie QB. of course, OhiOSu will only drop one spot from #6 to #7 due to the East Coast football fanboi favoritism.

The Pac 10 needs a new rival conference!

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 5, 2009, 8:48 pm

You are a fucking idiot in many ways. One, its football not foorball, but aside from that, Navy has a triple option offense that if you noticed (probably not), was the top in the nation in rushing last year. We held them to 324 yards, which by our standards is terrible, but by their standards is even worse. Other than that, it wasn't like it was a close game, just a really sloppy last part of the 4th quarter. With 6 minutes to go, we were up 15, they caught us snoozing (that late in the game with that lead, it happens) and got a score. Pryor responded with a good pass that went right through the receivers hands for the int. We still had the ball with 2:30 left to play and took it right down to the 25 before kneeling on it. Even if they tied, we still would have won.

It's no secret that the spread gives us fits (hello SEC domination), so trying to compare USC's offense to that of a triple option spread, is borderline retarded, but when dealing with your stupid ass (still can't root for a college you went to so you still have to bandwagon it up), its hard to expect otherwise.

This east coast bias thing is still old, especially when you renew it every year. Maybe if the jailbirds from your shit conference wouldn't resort to punching out the opposition, the poll voters might like you guys.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 5, 2009, 9:46 pm

Who's trying to compare Navy's offense to USC's? Are you drunk? I don't care if they have a quadruple option offense, OhioSU should have smoked them and if a Triple Option Offense is so good, everyone would run it and Navy might be a decent team in the top 10.

USC will smoke OhioSU next week in their own house, with a rookie QB and it doesn't matter how many options the OhioSU offense has. No excuses.

You're just lucky OhioSU pulled out a win over ASU with 28 seconds left in the Rose Bowl so I can't claim Arizona State's total dominance over both Michigan and OhioSU.

LOS ANGELES - Matt Barkley passed for 233 yards after a slow start to his Southern California debut, and the No. 4 Trojans' fleet of tailbacks ran for six touchdowns in a 56-3 victory over San Jose State on Saturday.

I wonder how many offensive options San Jose had!

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Brian Rolle intercepted a potential two-point conversion in the closing minutes and returned it for two points the other way, helping No. 6 Ohio State hold off pesky Navy 31-27 on Saturday.

Spang · Post by **Spang** » September 5, 2009, 11:02 pm

Debating football with Winnow is like debating politics with Sarah Palin.

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » September 6, 2009, 1:14 am

I don't think you can see Russia from Arizona.

Tyek · Post by **Tyek** » September 6, 2009, 3:12 am

You can see Mexico!

Winnow that was a hell of a storm this morning!!!

We need that in LA, would stop all the fires. Weather was so nice in Fountain Hills, I almost went golfing.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 6, 2009, 3:03 pm

Tyek wrote:You can see Mexico!

Winnow that was a hell of a storm this morning!!!

We need that in LA, would stop all the fires. Weather was so nice in Fountain Hills, I almost went golfing.

The monsoon season makes for some interesting weather, although a little humid sometimes between mid July to mid September. There's a nice Golf Course up there in Fountain Hills!

ASU throttled the Idaho State Bengals 50-3 at Sun Devil Stadium. ASU gave up only 37 yards - none in the first half - the fourth-lowest total in school history.

"Defensively, we totally dominated," ASU coach Dennis Erickson said. "That's how it is when you have only 65 scholarships" like Football Championship Subdivision Idaho State. "I've been there. That is hard."

Hmmm ASU gave up ZERO yards in the first half and 37 total in garbage time...rumor has it that Idaho State has a Quintiple Option Offense, putting Navy's triple option to shame!

Oh, and that 3 points Idaho got was from a 55 yard field goal. Give them credit if they can make a 50+ yard field goal to put some points on the board.

Sun Devils were like a monsoon rolling over the Bengals!

[Show]

The worse is when a dust storm rolls in. Get ready to wipe off everything!

masteen · Post by **masteen** » September 8, 2009, 1:05 am

We know one thing for sure: the ACC sucks balls.

Sabek · Post by **Sabek** » September 8, 2009, 12:37 pm

Zamtuk wrote:You are a fucking idiot in many ways. One, its football not foorball, but aside from that, Navy has a triple option offense that if you noticed (probably not), was the top in the nation in rushing last year. We held them to 324 yards, which by our standards is terrible, but by their standards is even worse.

Actually they have lead the NCAA in rushing the last 4 seasons straight. That happens to be a record.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 8, 2009, 3:02 pm

Sabek wrote: Actually they have lead the NCAA in rushing the last 4 seasons straight. That happens to be a record.

I wonder if USC would lead the nation in Rushing every year if they played the powder puff schedule Navy does. After week one, ASU probably has the #1 ranked defense in the nation but we know that's not the case.

USC is traveling to OhioSU with a rookie QB. If you can't beat them now, may as well switch the Big Ten's (11) rival conference to the Big Sky.

Beanie Wells does look really good though. Maybe if the Cardinals let him put stickers on his helmet after good runs he'd be more motivated!

Raistin · Post by **Raistin** » September 8, 2009, 10:33 pm

You forget one thing.

San Jose State and Idaho State Bengals.

I would want my team to play vs both of them in a double header in 1 day,than play vs a triple option running team. I'm pretty sure Navy would have put up the same points as ASU and USC vs those high school teams.

Have ASU take it easy on Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks. I would hate for them to stay #1 in defense for 2 straight weeks.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 8, 2009, 11:35 pm

Raistin wrote: Have ASU take it easy on Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks. I would hate for them to stay #1 in defense for 2 straight weeks.

lol, ASU lowers itself to Big Ten powder puff pre-conference schedule for once.

09/19/09 vs. Louisiana-Monroe (Faculty/Staff Appreciation Night) TV

Note the Faculty/Staff Appreciation Night!

Then again, how many other teams have this team on their schedule every year?

11/07/09 vs. USC TV Sun Devil Stadium (Tempe, Ariz.)

ASU has decent defense but no offense this year. We will have a bad record this year. The USC game will be ugly...like 55-0 ugly. It's a rebuilding year. We'll never lose to an Appalachian State though.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » October 17, 2009, 7:39 pm

Wow, two bad calls in a row against Arkansas, Is College footbal fixed? SEC is bogus conference. They fix it so their top team wins. Florida sucks! Try playing in Pac 10 where it's wide open and not corrupt.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » October 18, 2009, 3:20 am

Lol hardly a bogus conference, nice try though, lol.

Although I am bummed that the Razorbacks lost, it was nice to see them be competitive with Florida. Sadly though, it was another loss and reminded me of the 2006(?) SEC title game that was close until Florida won at the end. Well, at least the 'backs took out Auburn this season. Hopefully the close game against an unranked team gets 'Bama some more 1st place votes. They deserve it.

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » October 19, 2009, 11:21 am

Canelek wrote:Hopefully the close game against an unranked team gets 'Bama some more 1st place votes. They deserve it.

It would also make the Sylvos happy.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » November 16, 2009, 8:21 pm

The awesome part about the situation with Florida/Bama (and the SEC in general) is that we will settle it on the field. No popularity contest, no history lesson about who did what back when radio and dinosaurs ruled the Earf, none of that bullshit. We got a fucking grudge match in the ATL to determine who gets to kick Texas' ass come January.

Gzette · Post by **Gzette** » November 19, 2009, 8:17 pm

This is the best TX defense I have ever seen. I'm hoping Florida makes it to the championship so there's a whole week of "Is Florida the greatest college football team evar??? Of course!" just like when USC played Texas.

Also, Mark Mangino (KU's coach) stepped into some shit after former players. Espn's story. All this after a five-game losing streak and they get to face my horns, who are knocking on the door with a QB poised to break the record for most wins by a QB. Sounds like it could get ugly. Believe me though, I'm knocking on wood.

And in honor of Mangino I present:

Mangino fat jokes I wrote today. There's a lot, and maybe some fu fu fatties read the board, so I'm spoilering them.

[Show]: Mangino is so fat ...
HOW FAT IS HE?

He's so fat his insecurities lead him to project his own self loathing on to those he loves most in the form of hateful remarks.

He's so fat he doesn't even know if he has a penis anymore.

He's so fat that he often accidentally calls his wife "baconator."

He's so fat that he scares Bevo. Frankly he scares every cow, pig and chicken within a 100-mile radius of himself.

He's so fat that he is greatly at risk for diabetes and heart disease.

He's so fat that while at University of Florida, he was verbally reprimanded for eating a gator.

He's so fat that when fans cheer "rock chalk Jayhawks" all he hears is "pass the fucking ranch you shit fuck before I fucking strangle you."

He's so fat he calls is required to notify the National Weather Service prior to any gaseous emission. He calls the National Guard when he shits.

He's so fat when his wife gave him the gift of a puppy for Xmas he named it Pastrami on Rye. Ten minutes later, he had devoured the thing whole.

He's so fat, Louis Anderson often recruits him for bar hopping, so he can be the skinny one.

He's so fat than when he rolls out of bed, he starts in Kansas and ends in Wyoming.

He's so fat the offensive line drills consist of him lounging in repose while the entire line attempts to push him one entire inch. In 8 years at KY, not one single squad has come close.

He's so fat, that when asked if he would resign at a recent press conference, his reply was "yes, extra mayo please."

He's so fat, that when asked if he preferred ranch or bleu cheese with his wings, his head exploded.

He's so fat, doing a sit up is like trying to divide by zero.

He's so fat, that when he tells people he's going home, they assume he means the local all-you-can eat bbq buffet. They're right.

He's so fat that he voted for McCain because he thought the ballot said McRib.

He's so fat, he winds down his evenings with his usual cocktail, whiskey mixed with Papa John's garlic dipping sauce in a 64-oz Big Gulp trucker cup.

He's so fat, he often confuses Nazis with Vegans.

He's so fat, a common practice at KU games for him to use his gravitational force in their favor.

He's so fat, he attempted to recruit hot-dog eating guru Takeru Kobayashi as KU's starting QB.

He's so fat, he thinks the Gettysburg Address was something Civil War troops dipped their wings in.

He's so fat, a fan attempted to create a Lego effigy of the coach only to be foiled when he realized he had used the entire world's supply of Legos and was only 23% complete.

He's so fat, many have theorized the Tsunami of 2004 was caused by a Mangino cannonball. This theory was later debunked when scientists realized it is physically impossible for Mangino to jump.

He's so fat, he constitutes the world's 12th largest economy.

He's so fat, he believed his infant son had been kidnapped and notified authorities. Three weeks later the lifeless corpse of his son was discovered when Mangino sneezed and it popped out.

He's so fat, it is not uncommon for the physically fit to die of a heart attack just by shaking his hand.

He's so fat, doctors count his blood cells instead of cholesterol because it is much, much faster.

He's so fat, he turned down a job to coach the Detroit Lions after he realized he had misread the team's name as the Detroit Sirloins.

He's so fat, his ultimate sexual fantasy is to gangbang Wendy from Wendy's with Ronald McDonald, Jack, and the King whilst shoveling down a marathon of Baconators.

He's so fat, he has never heard of or seen any salad besides potato salad. There is a federal law against bringing a green salad within his eyeshot for fear of starting an international incident.

He's so fat, the worst day of his life was when the NCAA informed him he could not replace the team's giant Gatorade coolers with titan-sized chocolate malts.

He's so fat, had the NCAA allow him to switch to chocolate malts, the Jayhawks would have never lost a game because of his intense desire for a chocolate malt victory shower.

He's so fat, a medical marijuana initiative was defeated in Kansas solely for fears of Mangino depleting the entire state's food supply, should he wiff an errant toke.

He's so fat, the current recession was the result of one of his poos.

He's so fat, the original NASCAR race resulted from several rush hour drivers attempting to escape his gravitational pull.

He's so fat, he once killed a man because he accidentally served him Diet Pepsi.

He's so fat, he insisted his contract be written in cake icing on a tapestry of bacon. Thankfully a lawyer took a photo of the bacon-icing contract prior to Mangino devouring the 4ft by 4ft agreement in 13 seconds flat.

He's so fat, taking one step burns 8 pounds. Luckily after that first step, his inertia can carry him anywhere on the planet with no further exertion.

He's so fat, when he visited the Sears Tower, the entire populace of Chicago thought they were witnessing a solar eclipse.

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » November 19, 2009, 10:07 pm

Winnow wrote:Then again, how many other teams have this team on their schedule every year?

I'll let this speak for itself.

PS: He's talking about USC.

PPS: If you want to get credibility for playing a good team, you have to at least occasionally beat them. If they're good. Which, this year, they're not.

Tyek · Post by **Tyek** » December 6, 2009, 10:15 pm

Boise vs TCU?

Once again the BCS proves it is nothing but a sham. Instead of risking your beloved Feifdom, you remove any chance at an embarrassing loss. Now you can continue to argue that the winner would never have beaten a power conference opponent.

3 minutes after it was announced, the ESPN boards were screaming FRAUD!!!

I would love to see this be another nail in the BCS, but clearly the NCAA is clueless.

Gzette · Post by **Gzette** » December 7, 2009, 4:20 pm

As a Texas fan this system has screwed me and helped me over the past two years. This year we got in on a week schedule. I'd say we're in solely on reputation alone -- not that being undefeated doesn't help

-- but I do feel for TCU and Cincinatti fans. Not enough to give up our bowl berth, but enough to say "gee that's a sham(e)."

I nearly had a heart attack saturday at the end of that game, and we got lucky as hell.

Gonzoie - Luclin · Post by **Gonzoie - Luclin** » December 7, 2009, 7:20 pm

I broke my remote twice in the last 2 minutes of the Nebraska v Texas game. First at the horse-collar, then again after they put the second back on the clock.

Im not saying that they shouldn't have put that second back because the ball clearly hit the ground with 1 second to spare, but throughout the entire game there have been 2 second runoffs after each incomplete. That's just inconsistency.

Edit: wanted to add that I thought both teams played well, but Nebraska deserved the win for Texas' poor playing throughout the game. Nebraska was really giving it all they had defensively and I enjoyed watching them play defense the entire game. Suh was a fucking sick defenseman.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » December 7, 2009, 9:28 pm

why are u calling it football when its called american football?

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » December 7, 2009, 10:15 pm

Nick wrote:why are u calling it football when its called american football?

Is Euroball the sport where the players spend half their time rolling around on the ground faking injuries? No time for that! If you'll notice. No one pusses out or complains in real football. If they're injured, they're actually injured. Euro Soccer is like the WWF. Lots of acting.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » December 7, 2009, 11:15 pm

hehe eurosoccer

the worlds biggest sport is called eurosoccer btw now guys fyi

miir · Post by **miir** » December 8, 2009, 1:12 am

American Football... a game where a foot rarely touches the ball.

Americans really love their football because it suits their short attention spans.
30 seconds of action followed by 90 seconds of commercials.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » December 8, 2009, 7:17 pm

Gotta admit that SEC title game was hard for me to watch. Still, it's hard for me to feel too bad for Tebow and Spikes, as back to back titles is a dream that very few teams even get to HAVE, much less get so close to achieving. Grats to Bama, and I really hope that the team comes to the bowl against Cincy more focused and brings a pair of pliers and a blowtorch with them.

Gzette · Post by **Gzette** » December 8, 2009, 7:44 pm

Gonzoie - Luclin wrote:I broke my remote twice in the last 2 minutes of the Nebraska v Texas game. First at the horse-collar, then again after they put the second back on the clock.

Im not saying that they shouldn't have put that second back because the ball clearly hit the ground with 1 second to spare, but throughout the entire game there have been 2 second runoffs after each incomplete. That's just inconsistency.

Edit: wanted to add that I thought both teams played well, but Nebraska deserved the win for Texas' poor playing throughout the game. Nebraska was really giving it all they had defensively and I enjoyed watching them play defense the entire game. Suh was a fucking sick defenseman.

I won't go as far to say that Nebraska deserved to win the game more than Texas. They're offense was equally, if not more dominated than Texas' O. If Kirkendoll doesn't have that drop, we have no debate.

Suffice to say, Suh single handedly dismantled our offense. I'm glad to see him as a finalist for the Heisman. He propelled himself into contention, while at the same time likely ending Colt's bid. Ingram will win I think, since he performed so well against Florida. That one arm tackle on Colt scared me. I thought he was going to take his head off.

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » December 8, 2009, 9:14 pm

Heisman picks?

Mine (using the nominees): Suh --> Gerhart --> Ingram --> McCoy --> Tebow.

And how about this, "football isn't football" contingent: You can call the sport with the round ball "football" and I'll call it "soccer," and you can call the sport with the oblong ball "American football" and I'll call it "football," and we can all take our cocks out of our hands and return them to our pants. Sound good?

Gonzoie - Luclin · Post by **Gonzoie - Luclin** » December 8, 2009, 11:52 pm

Ingram > Suh > Gerhart > McCoy > Tebow.

That's not my opinion but how I feel the votes will go.

I think Suh should get it personally.

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » December 9, 2009, 12:51 am

Predicted actual order of finish:

Ingram --> Gerhart --> McCoy --> Tebow --> Suh

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » December 9, 2009, 12:53 am

Hey what bowl game is Arizona State going oh wait.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » December 9, 2009, 2:31 am

Sueven wrote:Hey what bowl game is Arizona State going oh wait.

What school did you go to Sueven?

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » December 9, 2009, 9:39 am

I've gone to several schools. Of the two that play big-time college football, one won 2 games and the other won 9.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » December 13, 2009, 2:31 pm

Winnow wrote:
Sueven wrote:Hey what bowl game is Arizona State going oh wait.

What school did you go to Sueven?

oddly enough, what school did you go to?

Sueven · Post by **Sueven** » December 14, 2009, 6:22 pm

Sueven wrote:I've gone to several schools. Of the two that play big-time college football, one won 2 games and the other won 9.

That's not good enough?

masteen · Post by **masteen** » December 26, 2009, 10:45 pm

Urban is stepping down as coach of the Gators. As much as he loved his job, I am afraid something really serious is wrong with his health.

Xatrei · Post by **Xatrei** » December 27, 2009, 12:54 am

masteen wrote:Urban is stepping down as coach of the Gators. As much as he loved his job, I am afraid something really serious is wrong with his health.

Don't worry. I'm sure that Tebow of Nazareth will miraculously cure Coach Meyer's (brain|heart).

Gzette · Post by **Gzette** » December 30, 2009, 8:44 pm

I hope Meyer comes back soon.

Now on to other things.

Mike Leach of Texas Tech was fired today. I can imagine Tech fans are flipping out. This is the most respectable their program has ever been, and it appears his demise was at the hands of a slap dick wide out who has an influential sportscaster dad. I'm not saying that's how it is. There's definitely more to the story. The ESPN story says Tech would have had to pay Leach $800k if he was still around on Dec. 31, so they saved some money by prematurely firing him I think. Of course it didn't help that Leach sued and filed a restraining order against his employer.

Good news for Texas A&M fans though! Tech has been stealing a lot of their recruits lately.

So with Magino and Leach out, just need Bob Stoops to swoop in at UF and the Big 12 coach trifecta will be complete! Fuck OU

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » January 1, 2010, 11:15 pm

... and Buckeyes over PAC 10's Oregon in the Rose Bowl.

Now here's hoping Alabama pulls out the big W over Texas.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » January 10, 2010, 11:29 am

Welp winnow, looks like without Carroll around in the Pac Ten your voice should get substantially lower with your fanboism. Or are you going to jump ship to another conference to brag about now?

Sabek · Post by **Sabek** » January 10, 2010, 12:22 pm

Pete Carroll to Seahawks.

Hmmm perhaps he knows USC is about to get bitch slapped for Reggie Bush and Joe McKnight, after what they did to the basketball program.

Rumors are saying the NCAA could rule "Lack of institution control" for USC which would be a huge hit.

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » January 12, 2010, 5:01 pm

Amazing how this thread's gone Winnow-free.