Simon says

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » January 22, 2003, 4:48 pm

"Go back to your vocal coach and demand a refund."

"If you lived 2,000 years ago and sang like that, I think they would have stoned you"

"If you were to win and sing a song, you would kill the American record industry. That's how bad you were."

Yes American Idol is back

watch the egos crash

Coatlicue [KoE] · Post by **Coatlicue [KoE]** » January 22, 2003, 4:53 pm

I loved it

It was absolutely horrid, and I loved it

That Nathanial kid was a walking disaster, and that Enrique-Wannabe was even better. My god, what entertainment

Although, I probably would have been one of the ones crying if Simon ever said some of those things to me! lol

Millie · Post by **Millie** » January 22, 2003, 4:55 pm

I don't know, but American Idol seems to have lost its magic this season. Simon is WAY too eager to send people to Hollywood -- even those with sub-par vocal talent. And his insults come across as half-baked and cliched, now that we know what to expect from him.

And what's with the double-standard on looks? That ugly dude with the amazing voice got beaten up over his "image," yet the fat ugly chick with the good voice got accepted without any fuss. Something's not right there, and I'm not sure I agree with the message the show is sending out.

And Simon seems to be unaware that his show IS killing the American music industry, whether he accepts 'talented' people or not. Just say no to pre-fab pop.

I'll give them one bit of credit: they had the good sense to shit-can that Dunkelman guy. God, why was he ever on the payroll to begin with? Totally redundant. They should have fired Seacrest, too. And the black guy. All the show needs to succeed is Simon. The rest is superfluous padding. The producers of that show need to trim more of the fat off their above-the-line roster.

Post by **Xouqoa** » January 22, 2003, 5:01 pm

The only one I liked was the chick from Austin with the really deep, rustic sounding voice... reminded me of like old 20's singers and stuff. The twins had pretty amazing voices too. Other than that, bleh.

Millie · Post by **Millie** » January 22, 2003, 5:02 pm

Xouqoa wrote:The only one I liked was the chick from Austin with the really deep, rustic sounding voice...

She had an amazing ass, too.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » January 22, 2003, 5:03 pm

Yay!

Simon

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » January 22, 2003, 5:04 pm

Millie wrote:
Xouqoa wrote:The only one I liked was the chick from Austin with the really deep, rustic sounding voice...
She had an amazing ass, too.

She's from Katy, Tx.

Bakara is from there

Nick · Post by **Nick** » January 22, 2003, 5:09 pm

And Simon seems to be unaware that his show IS killing the American music industry, whether he accepts 'talented' people or not. Just say no to pre-fab pop.

Hooray for that quote!

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » January 22, 2003, 5:12 pm

Xouqoa wrote:The only one I liked was the chick from Austin with the really deep, rustic sounding voice... reminded me of like old 20's singers and stuff. The twins had pretty amazing voices too. Other than that, bleh.

The wife and I were very impressed with her as well.

Some good voices though. Some great personalities on the losers as well.

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » January 22, 2003, 5:19 pm

I was amazed that Simon didn't even peep about the fat lady, but I'm thinking he took both of them to have someone to rip apart later in the show.

Some great voices but also some unbelievable attitudes from the losers. Don't those people ever record themselves to see how truly bad they sound?

I forget who said it (probably Simon too) but it went something like " a lot of today's pop singers can't sing at all" or some such. So true.

Vetiria · Post by **Vetiria** » January 22, 2003, 5:30 pm

I didn't watch last season, so it's all pretty new material to me. I thought it was hilarious, especially Simon's dig at Christina Aguilera.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » January 22, 2003, 5:36 pm

Vetiria wrote:I didn't watch last season, so it's all pretty new material to me. I thought it was hilarious, especially Simon's dig at Christina Aguilera.

Amen! I loved that part!

And as far as why he let the fat chick go, well if you recall the first American Idol, they sent a similar chick "to Hollywood" and told her in the next cut that they liked her voice but she would never be an American Idol cause of her image. She'll get cut in the next round.

I hope the guy who's wife had a baby makes it into the next round. He was way cute and dressed so snappy.

Millie · Post by **Millie** » January 22, 2003, 5:38 pm

Lalanae wrote:I hope the guy who's wife had a baby makes it into the next round. He was way cute and dressed so snappy.

That guy was awesome. I dug the fact that he had the style to wear a suit to the audition, and that he was well-spoken and smooth. He was a class act, and he has my vote.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 22, 2003, 5:47 pm

I thought singing fever was pretty fucking gutsy. I mean, that song is old. I think that crazy slutty chick from the first american idol (ryan starr or whatever) sang OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of old songs too though so it isn't like she is pioneering anything fresh.

but what was with Fox making fun of that retarded guy? I mean I was thinking it was awfully nice of them to let the retarded guy audition just to humor him, but then they started making fun of him big time. And THEN they brought him BACK and started making fun of him again. It was fucking relentless. I don't think making fun of retarded people is very compelling television (even though I do it here a lot when I reply to midnyte).

And what is with those two hosts? Are they married to Fox executives' daughters or something? Christ those morons have the charisma of a box of plastic spoons. That one asian guy that won his audition comes out, and the host was like right out of the blue "HEY DOOD DO YOU KNOW KUNG FU?!" What the hell? What the fuck does that have to do with anything? I was waiting him to start in, "SO I BET BEING ASIAN YOU MUST REALLY LIKE EATING DOGS HUH? HEY DOES UR DAD OWN A LAUNDRY?"

The one black dude pimped out in the yellow suit and pimp hat that started to cry when he lost was fucking hilarious though.

Millie · Post by **Millie** » January 22, 2003, 5:50 pm

kyoukan type-R wrote:That one asian guy that won his audition comes out, and the host was like right out of the blue "HEY DOOD DO YOU KNOW KUNG FU?!" What the hell?

LOL, yeah. That bit just screamed anti-defamation lawsuit.

And did you notice that the black host switched into Ebonics mode every time a black guy auditioned? I've never heard so many people addressed as "dawg" in so little time.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » January 22, 2003, 5:51 pm

gaw kyou, don't be so sensitive. Its just slang talk.

Coatlicue [KoE] · Post by **Coatlicue [KoE]** » January 22, 2003, 5:52 pm

kyoukan type-R wrote:I thought singing fever was pretty fucking gutsy. I mean, that song is old. I think that crazy slutty chick from the first american idol (ryan starr or whatever) sang OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of old songs too though so it isn't like she is pioneering anything fresh.

/agree

Fever is one my most favorite songs to sing, it's gutsy like you said, and no one ever expects that kind of song at an audition of those sorts. I might have chosen that song myself had I went to audition. Adn Ryan Starr is a fucking idiot who can't sing, she only got in the top 10 cause she's got a fab body. /shrug hey, my 2cp

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » January 22, 2003, 6:03 pm

Ryan Starr may not be the worlds best vocal talent, but I would buy a DVD of her trying on new slutty outfits

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » January 22, 2003, 6:10 pm

I am watching again this year and so far I haven't seen anyone stand out as incredible. I guess that will come after the next round of cuts down to 30.

I can understand why Simon let some people through. I'd say that those judges were all just exhausted listening to all those people that it got to the point of saying, "Fuck it, you're going to Hollywood".

Will be fun to watch tonight's show.

Burke · Post by **Burke** » January 22, 2003, 6:28 pm

Did anyone catch the American Idol judges on Howard Stern yesterday morning? While they were there to promote the new season, Stern had a few aspiring singers come in to give his listening audience a taste of the show. The second singer was a guy in his 30s, to which Simon said something equivalent to "bad start, too old". Then he did a rendition of "Hero" from the Spiderman soundtrack.

Simon said something along the lines of " meh, so so" and I think the other judges concurred. Then it was revealed that the guy was the lead singer of Saliva, the band that plays that song on the soundtrack.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 22, 2003, 6:32 pm

Burke wrote:Did anyone catch the American Idol judges on Howard Stern yesterday morning? While they were there to promote the new season, Stern had a few aspiring singers come in to give his listening audience a taste of the show. The second singer was a guy in his 30s, to which Simon said something equivalent to "bad start, too old". Then he did a rendition of "Hero" from the Spiderman soundtrack.

Simon said something along the lines of " meh, so so" and I think the other judges concurred. Then it was revealed that the guy was the lead singer of Saliva, the band that plays that song on the soundtrack.

they don't judge on how accurately they can reproduce the original song. if the guy from the band that sang it on the soundtrack sounds like crap when he sings it live, any judge is going to call him crap.

aside from paula abdul, the other two judges are responsible for producing 100's of millions of dollars in record sales. they probably at least have a tacit knowledge of what sells.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » January 22, 2003, 6:34 pm

simon is a dicklicker though

you tell him I said so

you tell him that sunnovabitch that if he wants to talk about it come see me
H.I. McDunough
Maricopa County Penatentiary
State Farm Road
Tuscon Road

I'll be waitin

I'll be waitin.

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » January 22, 2003, 6:35 pm

I'd say that those judges were all just exhausted listening to all those people that it got to the point of saying, "Fuck it, you're going to Hollywood".

Listening to thousands of people screeching must be hard. When you finally hear something resembling a melody you'd accept them too.

Burke · Post by **Burke** » January 22, 2003, 6:53 pm

Kyo,
Tacit knowledge or not, the guy sounded just like he did on the album version of the song and the song has sold over 8 million copies.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » January 22, 2003, 7:35 pm

Ennia wrote:
I'd say that those judges were all just exhausted listening to all those people that it got to the point of saying, "Fuck it, you're going to Hollywood".
Listening to thousands of people screeching must be hard. When you finally hear something resembling a melody you'd accept them too.

i dunno, they can always just sit back and count dollar bills in their minds...their eyes rolling like slot machines as the numbers stack up.

Legenae · Post by **Legenae** » January 22, 2003, 7:45 pm

Burke wrote:The second singer was a guy in his 30s, to which Simon said something equivalent to "bad start, too old". Then he did a rendition of "Hero" from the Spiderman soundtrack.

Simon said something along the lines of " meh, so so" and I think the other judges concurred. Then it was revealed that the guy was the lead singer of Saliva, the band that plays that song on the soundtrack.

Chad Kroeger (the person who sang "Hero") is the lead singer of Nickelback, Josey Scott (Saliva) sang backup on the song.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » January 22, 2003, 7:48 pm

is that the song..."Well i can be your hero baby!"

god that song rocks.

Legenae · Post by **Legenae** » January 22, 2003, 7:55 pm

Voronwë wrote:is that the song..."Well i can be your hero baby!"

god that song rocks.

Oh god no! LOL

masteen · Post by **masteen** » January 22, 2003, 8:07 pm

I missed the dig at Christina Aguierra.

She has an amazing voice, but her music is 99.94% shit.

I'm looking forward to when all the so-so peeps get the axe. Nothing like giving a gimp hope, and then crushing their dreams utterly

Vetiria · Post by **Vetiria** » January 22, 2003, 8:08 pm

He called her a slut and all kinds of good stuff