Customer Service

Donall Ican · Post by **Donall Ican** » July 14, 2002, 3:40 pm

I think the IGN and Neiman-Marcus have teamed up

QUOTE:

CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS? THIS IS A TRUE STORY
My daughter and I had just finished a salad at a Neiman- Marcus Cafe in Dallas, and we decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are
such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus cookie."

It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe, and the waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not, but you can buy the recipe." Well, I asked how much, and she responded, "Only two fifty-it's a great deal!" I agreed to that, and told her to just add it to my tab.

Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement, and the Neiman-Marcus charge was $285.00! I looked again, and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe-$250.00." That was outrageous!

I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress said it was "two-fifty," which clearly does not mean! "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase.

Because, according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money at this point." I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Texas. I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and the Texas Attorney General's office for Neiman-Marcus refused to budge.

They would not refund my money engaging in fraudulent practices. I was basically told, "Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money back. I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of fun."

I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a $250 cookie recipe from Neiman- Marcus...for free. She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this.."I said, "Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you ripped me off!" and slammed down the phone.

So here it is!

Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid $250 for this, and I don't want Neiman-Marcus to EVER make another penny off of this recipe!

NEIMAN-MARCUS COOKIES (Recipe may be halved)
2 cups butter
24 oz. chocolate chips
4 cups flour
2 cups brown sugar
2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 - 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
5 cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)

Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the
butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts.
Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.

PLEASE READ THE RECIPE AND SEND IT TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO HAS AN E-MAIL ADDRESS! THIS IS REALLY TERRIFIC!! Have a great day!! >>

LOL what a bunch of fucktards

Zvenn Eaglefist · Post by **Zvenn Eaglefist** » July 14, 2002, 3:56 pm

ummm just curious but dont you have to sign that credit slip before you leave? and wouldnt you notice on there a 285 dollars for some salads and a recipe?

Laliana · Post by **Laliana** » July 14, 2002, 4:17 pm

That is soooo old.

GTFO

Zvenn Eaglefist · Post by **Zvenn Eaglefist** » July 14, 2002, 11:38 pm

yeah it is but it still amazes me how gulible some people can be )

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » July 15, 2002, 10:35 am

This is an Urban Legend. Too many inconsistancies, and I have heard another variation of it as well.

Just another chain-email spam letter used to get valid email addresses.

Zvenn Eaglefist · Post by **Zvenn Eaglefist** » July 15, 2002, 11:30 am

aye hence my how gulible people can be post ) just curious how many people actually did it

Karae · Post by **Karae** » July 15, 2002, 12:32 pm

*gasp* Those rat-bastards.

For sale: One bridge, slightly used.

KilornCloudwalker · Post by **KilornCloudwalker** » July 15, 2002, 5:13 pm

Can't you at least post a good urban legend? Like the lady who had sex with a lobster and died from the lobster eggs hatching in her uterus and eating her insides? That one was much more entertaining...

Cadienie · Post by **Cadienie** » July 15, 2002, 5:32 pm

geez Kil..thats just gross!!

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » July 15, 2002, 5:41 pm

If you read one disgusting story this year . . . LET IT BE THIS ONE !
Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life. One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police.

When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion.

The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's cunt when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » July 15, 2002, 5:46 pm

Thank you for that story Kyoukan, I am glad someone told me that beautiful story, I am filled with nothing but pride for the human race when I read that sort of thing!

masteen · Post by **masteen** » July 15, 2002, 5:58 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

That is the nastiest thing I've read in a long while!

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » July 15, 2002, 6:54 pm

Mmmmmmm Shrimp

KilornCloudwalker · Post by **KilornCloudwalker** » July 15, 2002, 6:55 pm

Thanks Kyo! Been looking for that again for a while...much better than the old cookie recipe, don't ya think?:)

Cadienie · Post by **Cadienie** » July 15, 2002, 7:43 pm

oh that is just disgusting.... omg yuck

Lindila · Post by **Lindila** » July 15, 2002, 7:48 pm

Excuse me while I go throw up now.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » July 15, 2002, 8:58 pm

The cookie recipe is old as hell...I made that recipe after a friend showed it to me like....6 years ago I think. Story is gay, cookies are good.

Kyo, I remember that. Hilarious. I think it deserved a darwin.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » July 15, 2002, 8:58 pm

I always love it when net newbies run across this stuff for th first time.

See ref : http://www.tafkac.org/ulz/twofifty.html for full info

BTW the actual recipe is (from Nieman Marcus website)
Ingredients
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1-3/4 cups flour
1-1/2 teaspoons instant espresso powder, slightly crushed
8 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

Directions
Cream the butter with the sugars until fluffy.
Beat in the egg and the vanilla extract.
Combine the dry ingredients and beat into the butter mixture. Stir in the chocolate chips.
Drop by large spoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes, or 10 to 12 minutes for a crispier cookie. Makes 12 to 15 large cookies

Rikk Wolvenkin · Post by **Rikk Wolvenkin** » July 16, 2002, 1:21 pm

Lobster is good, I don't like mud shrimp though.

Hammerstalker PE · Post by **Hammerstalker PE** » July 16, 2002, 1:27 pm

Those aren't mud shrimp anymore they are bearded clam shrimp!

Millie · Post by **Millie** » July 16, 2002, 1:36 pm

Wow. I never thought I'd see this one again.

The whole "Neiman Marcus cookie" story is one of the oldest chain letters in Internet history. It's right up there with the infamous "Microsoft is giving away $250 to everyone who circulates this letter," and the preposterous "My kid is dying of cancer; sending this e-mail out to a buttload of people somehow gets me the money to pay his medical bills."

The last time I saw the cookie mail passed around was about 8 years ago. Probably longer. And I'm 22, so I'm not dating myself by saying that.

Pimple · Post by **Pimple** » July 16, 2002, 1:50 pm

I dont ever remember Buba (Forrest Gump) mentioning any recipes for Vagina Mud Shrimp. THat one must have slipped his mind but it sure sounds appetizing.

dalur · Post by **dalur** » July 16, 2002, 1:56 pm

Anyway, how do the cookies taste?

Lor · Post by **Lor** » July 16, 2002, 2:12 pm

Aww man, How the hell are they gonna get the smell outa them shrimp?

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » July 17, 2002, 11:32 am

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Wonder what they did with the shrimp. Did they just flush the toilet or what?

Arundel Pajo · Post by **Arundel Pajo** » July 17, 2002, 11:38 am

mmmmmm.........scampi.