Fatherhood

[Sueven]

I love it when serious mmorpg players see fit to lecture others on addiction. Holy hypocrisy batman!

I also love it when people who make a positive change in their lives (like quitting smoking weed) feel that this suddenly makes them the authority on what would constitute a positive change in everybody else's life.

[Asheran Mojomaster]

Considering I've smoked pretty much every day since I was 16 (I will turn 21 in July), and I completely stopped 1 week ago, I can pretty safely say that weed is not addictive. I had no adverse side effects, and I have no cravings. The worst "withdrawal symptom" I have is that my head is no longer perpetually clouded over. I actually think I may not start smoking again, even once I can. Well, I may smoke if I can, but it would be more of a time to time thing like drinking, or for medicinal use, but never like I was before. Its too fucking expensive, and school is getting so much easier now. I can't believe I thought my Principles of Chem Engineering was hard.

[laneela]

I'm definitely not one to advocate smoking weed. In my opinion, people who are under the influence of it tend to act like utter idiots and I avoid them like the plague. Having said that, I smoked weed daily for about 4 years, from 18 to about 22 and then I quit with no outside help whatsoever. I haven't read into the addictive qualities of it, but from personal experience I can't believe it's all too *physically* addictive (I do believe that weed is emotionally addictive). I have an extremely addictive personality and I've tried quitting a number of things in the past and have had a very tough job of it. Weed was one of the only things that gave me absolutely no trouble.

[Zaelath]

I would say the same thing about alcohol that people are saying about weed here. So I think "personal experience" as to the addictive hook of weed are just that.

[Trias]

hopefully all of your past drug use doesn't deform your baby in some way!...or maybe you will get lucky and it will deform in a good way and evolve into like Cyclops, Wolverine or the Toad.

[MooZilla]

my parents were heavy on the drugs their entire life and still are. i came out pretty normal i think

[Dregor Thule]

I love it when serious mmorpg players see fit to lecture others on addiction. Holy hypocrisy batman!

Wow. I didn't notice this comment at first. When I start ramming WoW dvd's into a pregnant womans stomach you can lecture me. Holy another imbecilic comment from Sueven, Batman!

[Sueven]

Perhaps I'm confused, Dregor. Could you explain to me what this

it's a dirty fucker of a drug (I've smoked it a lot in past years, but it looks disgusting once your dependence/infatuation with it ends.

comment has to do with pregnancy? Or what about this

Habitual smokers who stop DO go through some withdrawal symptoms. Believe me, I've experienced with with someone close to me who stopped. It's a mood altering substance and ANY chemical you put into your body on a regular basis will have dependency effects. Even caffeine.

(I hate idiots but I hate idiot potheads the most)

one? Oh, nothing? That's right.

And I can lecture your ass for as long as you choose to read my posts. Up to you!

[Asheran Mojomaster]

I love it when serious mmorpg players see fit to lecture others on addiction. Holy hypocrisy batman!

See, I admit I was addicted to Everquest. Thats why I do not play WOW.

Also, I haven't used any harder drug than weed in the past year. I did acid once and shrooms a few times a little over a year ago. Before that, the last time I did anything else (coke one time) was early freshman year.

I am addicted to cigarettes however, though I quit today (its for the baby), and I do take klonopin every day (insomnia and social anxiety), but I am not addicted to the klonopin. I don't know how, as I've heard its extremely addictive,but I can take it every day for a month then not take it for 2 weeks and have no side effects other than I go back to having insomnia and being nervous in public.

[Asheran Mojomaster]

BTW, to whoever said "even caffeine" when referring to addiction and weed...um caffeine is proven to be pretty damn addictive.

[Zaelath]

I'm not addicted to coffee! I can give it up any time... that I never have to get up before 1pm or be able to think for the first 2 hours I'm awake.

[Spang]

I usually only drink coffee during the winter months, but this winter I had no coffee. I think my last cup of coffee was over a year ago.

[Truant]

I would say the same thing about alcohol that people are saying about weed here. So I think "personal experience" as to the addictive hook of weed are just that.

I'm confused. Are you saying that alcohol is merely a psychological addiction (feel good) vs. a chemical one (dependency)?

[Ashur]

"I'm going to be a Dad!" turns into an argument on whether alcohol is addictive. JFC, only on VV!

[Zaelath]

I would say the same thing about alcohol that people are saying about weed here. So I think "personal experience" as to the addictive hook of weed are just that.

I'm confused. Are you saying that alcohol is merely a psychological addiction (feel good) vs. a chemical one (dependency)?

Nah, I'm saying some people don't get addicted to some drugs.

I used to drink heavily every weekend, behaviour that most people "in the biz" would call alcoholic. But sans the environment that encouraged such a thing, I rarely if ever drink now, and I never missed it and I never drank when I was low on cash.

But, I've seen enough people that are your classic alcoholics that I know it's addictive, just not for me, despite being addicted to any number of other things; cigarettes, caffeine, mmos

[Aabidano]

Congratulations on the kid, they're an experience.

I'm kind of iffy on baby monitors of any sort, seems like a waste of money and another source of anxiety to me. The really scary shit they won't help you with, for the day to day stuff the baby will let you know, no monitor required

Mine are 21 and 22 and living on their own, what a ride that was. 99% of it was enjoyable, in hindsight anyway.

Won't dive into the weed argument. I'm glad to see Nick's extracted himself from it.

[Siji]

I'm kind of iffy on baby monitors of any sort, seems like a waste of money and another source of anxiety to me. The really scary shit they won't help you with

Baby not breathing is pretty scary stuff - the Angel Care monitor monitors the baby breathing, so if it goes off you'll know. That's pretty helpful imo. I've had a couple false alarms with mine (maybe 2 or 3 in a year) and it was mostly due to her having scooted her way sideways to the very corner of the crib where the monitor wasn't picking her breathing up. But I'd rather have a false alarm than no alarm when needed. SIDS is pretty scary, so anything that I can do to give myself some insurance and peace of mind is money well spent imo.

[Lynxe]

I've got three children ages 3 and under. If you have any questions, feel free to send a PM.

Something your fiance's mother said caught my attention about how the pregnancy would be harder because she is younger. Quite the opposite. Good ole mother nature has women start menstruating at a younger age for a reason. Physically, younger women tend to handle pregnancy/delivery easier than the older mothers. Mentally/financially is a bigger concern for younger moms for obvious reasons.

The first few months are going to be hard. Make sure you go into it together taking turns with catching up on sleep, laundry, meals, changing the baby etc but above all - communicate with each other. You are both going to be overwhelmed and over tired. That type of stress can kill a relationship swiftly.

Dads are important too. It is hard-wired into us mom's that no one else can take care of our baby's needs like we can. The ironic catch-22 is that we need the help but are reluctant to relinquish control. It was a humbling experience when my husband laid out that he was never going to learn how to be a father if I didn't back off and let him.

It boggles my mind when I read how "hard" people think breastfeeding is. It is like everything else in life meaning the more knowledge/planning you do up front and more committed you are, the better the success. For the vast majority of women, it isn't hard. I breastfed all of mine for a year - two of them at the same time so trust me when I say this. It IS cheaper, far more convenient and the health benefits for the child are unreal. Get your fiance to do her homework on what a good latch is and how to break it properly. A lot of hospitals have lactacian consultants on call and 10 mins with one will make things go much easier. Don't let her put creams or crap on her nipples unless there is a yeast infection to deal with. There is a much easier, faster way to help through the first few days of sore and if she wants details, get her to write me.

At bedtime, start a routine and stick to it. We started at 6 months with our kid's routine for all of them (PJ's, teeth, read books, kisses then bed). Now bedtime is like clockwork with everyone asleep by 8pm.

If it is a boy, point the penis down when you close up his a clean diaper. Otherwise it will leak. You'll thank me for this later!

As for not having a life, if you enter parenthood as a team there is no reason your life should end. Life might slow down for a while and priorities shift (ie: you might want to be home with the baby instead of out) but it gets better. It takes creative planning, but my husband plays 3-4 games of hockey a week. I play volleyball and take guitar lessons. We go when the kids are in bed and arrange our it is rare if we can't make functions with friends/family that are planned in advance.

[Aardor]

Just saw this today on BBC: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scot ... 456625.stm . It doesn't say anything conclusive or definite, but the reasoning behind why they say it could effect a fetus seems valid.