New Character in Return of the King

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » January 9, 2003, 1:02 pm

Fans Outraged at New Character in The Return of the King
By Brian Briggs
Wellington, New Zealand - A recently leaked trailer for The Return of the
King has Tolkien fans outraged over the apparent addition of a new
character - Jar-Jaromir. The scene depicted in the trailer shows
Jar-Jaromir shouting, "Gondora gonna fallsa";
he then trips over a corpse and knocks down a couple of Uruk-hai.

Producers of The Lord of the Rings trilogy confirmed the addition of the
half-brother of Boromir and Faramir.
"While The Two Towers is performing better at the box office than The
Fellowship of the Ring, we are worried about a demographic that is skewing
much older than desired. More mature fans are very good to have, but it's
the younger fans who buy the merchandise. That's really what brings in the
bucks on a movie like this," said producer Tim Wilcox.
"People complained a lot about Gimli just being there for comic relief,"
continued Wilcox. "We answer that criticism by directing the humor through
Jar-Jaromir in The Return of the King. There's this funny scene where
Jar-Jaromir decides it's best to hand the ring over to Sauron, but then he
drops it and kicks it into Mount Doom. Hi-larious."

Purists, miffed by the deviations in The Two Towers, were so enraged by
Jar-Jaromir as to be rendered speechless. A less pure, calmer fan who was
able to form words said, "Tolkien mentioned a lot of different races and
creatures, but never a Gungan or even a half-Gungan. I think I'm going to
vomit."
One fan tried to rationalize the move. "Maybe the Star Wars universe and
Middle-earth intersect. Middle-earth certainly is a long time ago and why
couldn't it be in 'a galaxy far, far away?' Nothing said it's our earth."
He then broke down and started crying.
Director Peter Jackson explained how the Jar-Jaromir character was added
after all the other footage had already been shot. "That's the brilliant
thing about digital editing and graphics. We didn't even imagine
Jar-Jaromir in the movie until a couple of weeks ago, but now we can just
edit him right into the key scenes. I really think it's going to be a hit
with the toddlers."
Jackson added, "I just love it when he shouts, 'Yousa steala precious

Post by **Xouqoa** » January 9, 2003, 1:07 pm

dumb

Shaion · Post by **Shaion** » January 9, 2003, 1:45 pm

First i got disturbed, then i laughed.

Millie · Post by **Millie** » January 9, 2003, 2:33 pm

"Yousa no sayin' yousa betta dan de Gungans? Meeeesa like dis!" *shakes head violently*

kurzweil · Post by **kurzweil** » January 9, 2003, 3:07 pm

Jar-Jaromir will meet Aragorn as he emerges from the water; a horde of orcs coming at them. Aragorn discovers that Narsil has shorted out in the water and, to save them, grabs Jar-Jaromir and hurls the two of them into the water, and over the Falls of Rauros.

ARGH, MY EYES!!!

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » January 9, 2003, 3:12 pm

Slightly shifted topic but I must say I was impressed with how the 2nd movie portrayed ranger tracking.

noel · Post by **noel** » January 9, 2003, 3:27 pm

Adex_Xeda wrote:Slightly shifted topic but I must say I was impressed with how the 2nd movie portrayed ranger tracking.

Yes!

/joke
Although I really wish we could have seen all the color coded green mobs in Aragorn's tracking window.

Kwonryu DragonFist · Post by **Kwonryu DragonFist** » January 9, 2003, 3:29 pm

I wonder how much AA points Aragorn got in that Helms Keep fight.

Normal orcs green and Uruks blue?

Was Helms Deep a good xp zone tho?

Senwen Aelabon · Post by **Senwen Aelabon** » January 9, 2003, 3:37 pm

Attention George Lucas.

Please read the article above. It contains a lesson for you.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » January 9, 2003, 3:42 pm

fuck jar jar

in the ear.