Americans giving up friends, sex for Web life

[Winnow]

One thing is accurate for sure in this article. The only reason I have cable/DirecTV is for sports. It's no contest between which would go between the Net and TV if I had to choose.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070920/wr_ ... iction1_dc

Americans giving up friends, sex for Web life

By Belinda GoldsmithWed Sep 19, 8:53 PM ET

Surfing the net has become an obsession for many Americans with the majority of U.S. adults feeling they cannot go for a week without going online and one in three giving up friends and sex for the Web.

A survey asked 1,011 American adults how long they would feel OK without going on the Web, to which 15 percent said a just a day or less, 21 percent said a couple of days and another 19 percent said a few days.

Only a fifth of those who took part in an online survey conducted by advertising agency JWT between Sept 7 and 11 said they could go for a week.

"People told us how anxious, isolated and bored they felt when they are forced off line," said Ann Mack, director of trend spotting at JWT, which conducted the survey to see how technology was changing people's behavior.

"They felt disconnected from the world, from their friends and family," she told Reuters.

The poll, released on Wednesday, found the use of cell phones and the Internet were becoming more and more an essential part of life with 48 percent of respondents agreeing they felt something important was missing without Internet access.

More than a quarter of respondents -- or 28 percent -- admitted spending less time socializing face-to-face with peers because of the amount of time they spend online.

It also found that 20 percent said they spend less time having sex because they are online.

Cell phones won out over television in a question asking which device people couldn't go without but the Internet trumped all, regarded as the most necessary.

"It is taking away from offline activities, among them having sex, socializing face-to-face, watching TV and reading newspapers and magazines. It cuts into that share," said Mack.

"I don't suppose their partners are too pleased about it."

Mack said a clear trend to emerge from the survey was the increasing need for mobility with people no longer satisfied with just broadband access from home and wanting hand-held devices like iPhones and BlackBerrys.

JWT, whose parent company is WPP, has come up with a new advertising category for people whose lives are so tied up with new technology.

"We are calling them 'digitivity denizens,' those who see their cell phones as an extension of themselves, whose online and offline lives are co-mingled and who would chose a Wi-Fi connection over TV any day," said Mack.

"This is how they communicate, entertain and live."

I can't live without the net for more than an hour at work! (more like ten minutes)

[Funkmasterr]

One thing is accurate for sure in this article. The only reason I have cable/DirecTV is for sports. It's no contest between which would go between the Net and TV if I had to choose.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070920/wr_ ... iction1_dc

Americans giving up friends, sex for Web life

By Belinda GoldsmithWed Sep 19, 8:53 PM ET

Surfing the net has become an obsession for many Americans with the majority of U.S. adults feeling they cannot go for a week without going online and one in three giving up friends and sex for the Web.

A survey asked 1,011 American adults how long they would feel OK without going on the Web, to which 15 percent said a just a day or less, 21 percent said a couple of days and another 19 percent said a few days.

Only a fifth of those who took part in an online survey conducted by advertising agency JWT between Sept 7 and 11 said they could go for a week.

"People told us how anxious, isolated and bored they felt when they are forced off line," said Ann Mack, director of trend spotting at JWT, which conducted the survey to see how technology was changing people's behavior.

"They felt disconnected from the world, from their friends and family," she told Reuters.

The poll, released on Wednesday, found the use of cell phones and the Internet were becoming more and more an essential part of life with 48 percent of respondents agreeing they felt something important was missing without Internet access.

More than a quarter of respondents -- or 28 percent -- admitted spending less time socializing face-to-face with peers because of the amount of time they spend online.

It also found that 20 percent said they spend less time having sex because they are online.

Cell phones won out over television in a question asking which device people couldn't go without but the Internet trumped all, regarded as the most necessary.

"It is taking away from offline activities, among them having sex, socializing face-to-face, watching TV and reading newspapers and magazines. It cuts into that share," said Mack.

"I don't suppose their partners are too pleased about it."

Mack said a clear trend to emerge from the survey was the increasing need for mobility with people no longer satisfied with just broadband access from home and wanting hand-held devices like iPhones and BlackBerrys.

JWT, whose parent company is WPP, has come up with a new advertising category for people whose lives are so tied up with new technology.

"We are calling them 'digitivity denizens,' those who see their cell phones as an extension of themselves, whose online and offline lives are co-mingled and who would chose a Wi-Fi connection over TV any day," said Mack.

"This is how they communicate, entertain and live."

I can't live without the net for more than an hour at work! (more like ten minutes)

My job consists mostly of working on bug fixes right now.. After I approve each one I test, I refresh VV. I would say that I refresh and read the new posts every 30 minutes at most.

[Leonaerd]

Meh. I like the net and I'm in dire straits without my cell phone (currently without one as mine was stolen a few days ago) but I still party and socialize all the time. I'd say the net enhances sex possibilities, especially with the advent of Facebook and being able to set up parties hours / days / weeks in advance. It's really quite convenient.

[masteen]

Meh. I like the net and I'm in dire straits without my cell phone (currently without one as mine was stolen a few days ago) but I still party and socialize all the time. I'd say the net enhances sex possibilities, especially with the advent of Facebook and being able to set up parties hours / days / weeks in advance. It's really quite convenient.

Sexual predator, IMO.

[Sueven]

There's definitely a lot of truth in there.

I do the majority of my web-surfing while sitting around on the big comfortable loveseats at school (like right now, for instance). Most of the time, I bring my laptop home with me at night. While I don't do an awful lot of pure surfing at home, I generally have AIM on, carry on a few slow conversations over the course of the evening, argue on VV if anything catches my eye, refresh my email constantly, etc.

I find that I'm only really interested in checking websites that deal with social occurrences. Basically, I need people to be communicating, and preferably directly to me. Based on this, my most frequently checked sites are my email, VV, and facebook. Following this, I go to sites that update in real-time; mostly current events / politics / sports blogs and news sites. I prefer blogs because I like watching conversation develop around the topic. I only rarely look at the static content on the internet. Every now and then, if I'm bored, I'll go to wikipedia and read about wild animals or dog breeds or something like that.

I do get anxious if I don't have the internet at home. There are days when I leave my laptop at school or at a friend's apartment for one reason or another, and I really do feel anxious about it. I know it's stupid to feel anxious about it, and so I do it anyway, but the feeling is there.

So I guess I am a person for whom my digital self is an extension of my personal identity. Every day, I walk from campus to the subway, which takes maybe 15 minutes. I almost always pull out my cell phone sometime during this walk and end up talking on the phone or texting a friend or something. It's unconscious; I rarely plan to call anybody on the walk, but somehow I do anyway. Boredom I guess. I suppose I fall under the extrovert category in that intro/extro thread, based on my cell phone use.

That said, I'm very disdainful of people who construct elaborate online identities. I strive, as much as possible, to make my online identity simply an extension of my real-life identity, and not a separate person. Someone who met me in real life might be surprised by some aspects of my character (there are some things that are impossible to communicate on the internet, and there are other things that are not appropriate subjects for public communication), but would also likely think "OK, that makes sense, that's Sueven." It creeps me out when I stumble across the online world of a friend I know in real life, and the identity they project on the internet is something totally different than what I encounter in person. People use the internet (ESPECIALLY Second Life, MySpace, MMO's in general, etc) as a method to construct the identity they'd like to have. The identity I'd like to have is myself, and so I try to construct my online presence around my real-life sense of self, but there are of course a whole assload of interpretations and subtleties inherent in the choices I make regarding my self-presentation.

It's going to be very interesting to watch the effects of the internet on humanity throughout the remainder of our lives.

[Winnow]

That said, I'm very disdainful of people who construct elaborate online identities. I strive, as much as possible, to make my online identity simply an extension of my real-life identity, and not a separate person. Someone who met me in real life might be surprised by some aspects of my character (there are some things that are impossible to communicate on the internet, and there are other things that are not appropriate subjects for public communication), but would also likely think "OK, that makes sense, that's Sueven." It creeps me out when I stumble across the online world of a friend I know in real life, and the identity they project on the internet is something totally different than what I encounter in person. People use the internet (ESPECIALLY Second Life, MySpace, MMO's in general, etc) as a method to construct the identity they'd like to have. The identity I'd like to have is myself, and so I try to construct my online presence around my real-life sense of self, but there are of course a whole assload of interpretations and subtleties inherent in the choices I make regarding my self-presentation.

I agree with the first part of your statement above in that people that feel the need to misrepresent themselves on forums like this, besides hiding your identity from the wackos, aren't doing themselves or others any favors. I disagree in the case of games like Second Life though. That's the entire purpose of the game and there's nothing wrong with roleplaying a character different than your real life. People want to do things that they can't do in RL. Now, Second Life isn't entirely about roleplaying. It is usually ends up being a virtual social engine where you go and chat away. You may look like a furry or an alien, etc but you're chatting about current affairs, etc. Sometimes things get into personal life and then it's up to each individual to decide what they feel like divulging...now if someone starts lying about their RL in these cases, it's only an issue if a RL meeting ensues later down the road.

I'm typically interested in the imagination of the people I meet. I have this quote from, The Conscience of a Hacker, by Mentor in my SL profile:

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.

By default, I assume everyone has no gender and is a shapeless figure IRL when I'm messing around in SL and games like it. Who cares? It's a virtual genderless world IMO. Again, if it starts to turn into something that may go RL, then it matters. But in general, I don't give a shit who's behind the Avatar IRL as long as they're entertaining and interesting in SL (or any other online social application)

I think what you're getting at is more like if someone who's in their 30s, 40's 50's is actively telling people on a forum such as this they they're 20 and the opposite gender of what they are IRL for example. It doesn't seem to serve any purpose. While people are mostly anonymous here, the discussions about current affairs, etc, are helped along from personal experience from people participating in the discussion. Unless the Cliqué gives special favors because you're a hot chick IRL, wtf does it matter? If I could get people to stop whining about embedded YouTube videos, I might create a new profile named "Slutetta" and get things moving along.

I suppose that's your answer. Even online, if people are perceived to fit the mold of the socially desirable IRL, their posts will carry more weight sometimes it seems.

[Leonaerd]

Meh. I like the net and I'm in dire straits without my cell phone (currently without one as mine was stolen a few days ago) but I still party and socialize all the time. I'd say the net enhances sex possibilities, especially with the advent of Facebook and being able to set up parties hours / days / weeks in advance. It's really quite convenient.

Sexual predator, IMO.

fah q

[Sueven]

Interesting.

I've never really understood role-playing very much. When I played EQ, I was not role-playing a character, I was playing a game. I understand offline RPG's, Final Fantasy and so on, but I understand them as video games that have an elaborate story component. I can appreciate them for the story, but I cannot understand adopting or seeking to adopt the identity of your character. Same goes for online RPG's and pen and paper RPG's-- I understand them as games, I don't understand them as role-playing experiences. My sense of self is not one that allows me to slip outside of it (I would be a shitty actor). However, I understand that other people are different, and other people are able to actually slip into characters other than themselves, and this can be healthy. So I guess I have to qualify my statement by saying that I don't have anything against role playing.

That said, this:

I think what you're getting at is more like if someone who's in their 30s, 40's 50's is actively telling people on a forum such as this they they're 20 and the opposite gender of what they are IRL for example.

Is starting to get at what I mean when I talk about constructing an elaborate online identity, but doesn't fully capture it. It is about deception and leading others to believe that you're different than you are. But it's not just blatant lies like "I'm 23 years old" or "I make $150k/year" or "I have DD tits and an 18 inch waist" or anything like that (although those count, obviously). Many people construct their identities in much more subtle ways. People generally describe themselves as much more assertive and in control of their lives than they really are, and work hard to rationalize or justify those things in your life that you're not happy with. A man who's single and unhappy about it might post a long explanation for why he has no need to have a woman in his life, attempting to portray his singleness as an affirmatively chosen characteristic as opposed to a complex confluence of a number of factors. He probably (sometimes) believes what he posts, and at other times, he probably feels lonely. His friends in real life have probably heard him say the same things that he posted, but they've probably also heard him speak in more vulnerable terms, and he probably chooses to self-censor these vulnerable moments online. They can also witness him in his day-to-day interactions, and observe: How does he act around women? How happy does he seem? Is he fully buying in to this explanation he gave me? These are all cues that are absent online. When on the internet, this man can describe himself as he sees himself at his best. He's not lying, he's simply portraying only one aspect of his character. This can be more or less extreme, overt, and intentional, depending on the person.

I try hard to be as accurate as possible when discussing myself. I could post an exceedingly flattering characterization of myself, and it could be entirely accurate. I could also post a characterization of myself which portrays me as a worthless loser, and it'd also be entirely accurate. People are complicated, and it's the attempt to reduce that complexity to a rigid, flattering simplicity that I disdain.

Edit: Apologies for my RAMPANT abuse of proper pronoun usage in this post.

[Neziroth]

maybe the internet is the cure for aids!

[Fash]

A man who's single and unhappy about it might post a long explanation for why he has no need to have a woman in his life, attempting to portray his singleness as an affirmatively chosen characteristic as opposed to a complex confluence of a number of factors. He probably (sometimes) believes what he posts, and at other times, he probably feels lonely. His friends in real life have probably heard him say the same things that he posted, but they've probably also heard him speak in more vulnerable terms, and he probably chooses to self-censor these vulnerable moments online. They can also witness him in his day-to-day interactions, and observe: How does he act around women? How happy does he seem? Is he fully buying in to this explanation he gave me? These are all cues that are absent online. When on the internet, this man can describe himself as he sees himself at his best. He's not lying, he's simply portraying only one aspect of his character. This can be more or less extreme, overt, and intentional, depending on the person.

Why you gotta talk about me, man?... j/k. I'm not happy to be single, but I'm not easily ensnared into a relationship either. I've turned down more sex in the past 2 years than most men would turn down in their lives (if they ever would)

True story:
*making out on her couch*
girl: "you mean you don't want to have sex with me right now?"
me: "I do and I don't"
girl: "YOU'RE WORSE THAN A BITCH!!!"
I'll never forget that...

I also don't truly understand the role playing aspect... I made an occasional flirting comment in EQ to Thess, Gemily, or Aslanna(!) but it's kinda pointless... I was just playing around, unlike some people I know who've actually formed relationships and transferred them to RL. I talked to Thess on the phone a few times, I don't recall about what, but I know it wasn't anything sexual.

As far as giving up friends and sex for a web life, I can understand this... It's not about the MMO or the RPG or Facebook/Myspace, etc... It's just the computer takes the place of a companion, no matter what you're doing... I spend a lot of time with my computer when I'm not out with friends. I go out almost every night now, but there have been times in the past where the only thing that existed in my social life was my computer. It's sad, but true... or... is it really sad? does it really matter what we do with our time? If you're happy, who cares, right?

[Midnyte_Ragebringer]

I've turned down more sex in the past 2 years than most men would turn down in their lives (if they ever would)

Not this fella. But, you know that. Poontang is the very pinnacle of life to me. Computers are fun and all, but nothing in life is better than a warm, juicy vagina. I'm fillin' up just typing this.

[Winnow]

I've turned down more sex in the past 2 years than most men would turn down in their lives (if they ever would)

Not this fella. But, you know that. Poontang is the very pinnacle of life to me. Computers are fun and all, but nothing in life is better than a warm, juicy vagina. I'm fillin' up just typing this.

Man, what kind of conversations do you two have at family get togethers?

[Dregor Thule]

I keep forgetting Fash and Mid are related. Fash always seems much more reasonable, it makes it easy to forget!

[Midnyte_Ragebringer]

I've turned down more sex in the past 2 years than most men would turn down in their lives (if they ever would)

Not this fella. But, you know that. Poontang is the very pinnacle of life to me. Computers are fun and all, but nothing in life is better than a warm, juicy vagina. I'm fillin' up just typing this.

Man, what kind of conversations do you two have at family get togethers?

haha pretty good ones. I still enjoy many of the same dorky things as Fash, but poon is the one thing we differ on. He values a relationship with a woman over just sex. He isn't interested in just sex. He wants sex to be the result of a relationship. I don't fault him at all. It's quite admirable actually. All I know is, I sure as hell couldn't do it. The only reason I spend as much time on this infernal machine now is because I have an 11 and 6 year old mood killer running around the house. They suck up every opportunity I have these days.

The other day my daughter was home sick, sleeping up in her bed and my wife came home from work. I pointed to spotless kitchen and said, "hey baby, look what I did between work calls today." She sauntered over and dropped right to her knees, unzipped me and we heard little footsteps upstairs heading down stairs. /sigh So I ended up at my computer. yay! grrr

[Midnyte_Ragebringer]

I keep forgetting Fash and Mid are related. Fash always seems much more reasonable, it makes it easy to forget!

Nods. He relates better to the a larger portion of the people on this boards than I do. No doubt.

[Truant]

Meh. I like the net and I'm in dire straits without my cell phone (currently without one as mine was stolen a few days ago) but I still party and socialize all the time. I'd say the net enhances sex possibilities, especially with the advent of Facebook and being able to set up parties hours / days / weeks in advance. It's really quite convenient.

Sexual predator, IMO.

fah q

Sexual threat! Alert local authorities to keep an eye on this one!

[Keverian FireCry]

haha pretty good ones. I still enjoy many of the same dorky things as Fash, but poon is the one thing we differ on. He values a relationship with a woman over just sex. He isn't interested in just sex. He wants sex to be the result of a relationship. I don't fault him at all. It's quite admirable actually. All I know is, I sure as hell couldn't do it. The only reason I spend as much time on this infernal machine now is because I have an 11 and 6 year old mood killer running around the house. They suck up every opportunity I have these days.

The other day my daughter was home sick, sleeping up in her bed and my wife came home from work. I pointed to spotless kitchen and said, "hey baby, look what I did between work calls today." She sauntered over and dropped right to her knees, unzipped me and we heard little footsteps upstairs heading down stairs. /sigh So I ended up at my computer. yay! grrr

...

[Sueven]

Oh there's plenty of people who are happy being single. They're just the people who are never going to post a long, elaborate explanation justifying their singlehood on an internet message board.

[Funkmasterr]

Oh there's plenty of people who are happy being single. They're just the people who are never going to post a long, elaborate explanation justifying their singlehood on an internet message board.

I agree with pretty much everything you have said in this thread. I would like to add something: I feel like for every person that tries to pretend like they are something they aren't, or hide things about themselves on the internet, there is a person that does the same thing in real life.

[Xyun]

I'm with Mid on this one. Nothing in this world trumps pussy. NO.THING.

Any man who chooses computer over sex when given the option is a fool.

[Funkmasterr]

I'm with Mid on this one. Nothing in this world trumps pussy. NO.THING.

Any man who chooses computer over sex when given the option is a fool.

/agree.

Now a truly lucky man with his priorities in check will do both at the same time

[Zaelath]

haha pretty good ones. I still enjoy many of the same dorky things as Fash, but poon is the one thing we differ on. He values a relationship with a woman over just sex. He isn't interested in just sex. He wants sex to be the result of a relationship. I don't fault him at all. It's quite admirable actually. All I know is, I sure as hell couldn't do it. The only reason I spend as much time on this infernal machine now is because I have an 11 and 6 year old mood killer running around the house. They suck up every opportunity I have these days.

The other day my daughter was home sick, sleeping up in her bed and my wife came home from work. I pointed to spotless kitchen and said, "hey baby, look what I did between work calls today." She sauntered over and dropped right to her knees, unzipped me and we heard little footsteps upstairs heading down stairs. /sigh So I ended up at my computer. yay! grrr

...

The bit I couldn't work out was Mid is the married one, and Fash is single... just me?

[Leonaerd]

Yeah. My guess is Mid's wife is either hot or he lives vicariously through Fash.

[Fash]

Yeah. My guess is Mid's wife is either hot or he lives vicariously through Fash.

She's hot... it would be pretty frustrating for him if he were to live vicariously through me.

[Sueven]

I agree with pretty much everything you have said in this thread. I would like to add something: I feel like for every person that tries to pretend like they are something they aren't, or hide things about themselves on the internet, there is a person that does the same thing in real life.

Definitely. It's just tougher, and more complex, in real life.

[redeemed]

Unless the Cliqué gives special favors because you're a hot chick IRL, wtf does it matter?

you mean I should be getting special favors? damn

[Winnow]

Unless the Cliqué gives special favors because you're a hot chick IRL, wtf does it matter?

you mean I should be getting special favors? damn

Hmm, maybe I need to start PM'ing you with my VV board suggestions and have you post them...then all the sudden they'll be brilliant ideas!

[Neziroth]

The internet is the cure for AIDS!

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