Stupid computer user re-education tool

Hesten · Post by **Hesten** » January 22, 2007, 2:39 pm

Im sure most of you know the calls, some stupid user, be it work, family, or friends, where someone fucked their computer up by acting stupid and want you to fix it.
This is the ultimate tool to re-educate them about their wrongdoings, AND make sure they dont do it again.

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » January 22, 2007, 2:44 pm

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » January 22, 2007, 4:33 pm

amen. Aunts and uncles are the worst. They call me up because they "can't find mp3s in Internet explorer."

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » January 22, 2007, 5:08 pm

In-Laws!!!

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » January 22, 2007, 5:10 pm

You know, I can excuse the average person who is generally clueless about computer technology, but I work with people whose CAREERS are centered around it who don't even understand how to archive email or unzip files properly.

The older I get and the more people I work with, the more I realize that basic critical thinking skills are pretty rare. Most people do not want to think about their job and the big picture. They merely want a., b., c. instructions that allow them to get their work done without having to think about why they have to do a., or how b. affects c. Every day I am asked stupid questions by peers that might as well say "Please think for me and tell me what to do. I'd rather send you an email than think about it for 5 seconds or read the user manual."

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » January 22, 2007, 5:28 pm

The killer thing about this is the people you have to deal with NEVER LEARN. You can write down "DON'T DO X OR IT WILL SCREW UP YOUR COMPUTER" and they will call up:

Them: "My computer and/or My Internet and/or My Word isn't working."
Me: "Did you do X again?"
Them: "Yes."
Me: "..." *beats head against desk*

My mother-in-law still sticks floppy disks in and opens word files and edits them from the floppy disk because the hard disk is "too scary".

I showed her (and documented in easy to read sentences with diagrams) how to save to the HDD and back up to a CD since she insists on having something tangible she can hold in her hand. She calls me up to ask me how the floppy ends up on CD again and could I come over and do it every month so she can just keep using the floppy.

I echo Lala's point: people don't think critically.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » January 22, 2007, 5:54 pm

Ashur wrote:I echo Lala's point: people don't think.

Fixed.

Hesten · Post by **Hesten** » January 22, 2007, 8:29 pm

My boss, who LEAD the IT department at a hospital have smashed his lotus notes mailbox 10+ times now.
Every time we tell him what he does wrong, the idiot think keeping mail = good, no archiving, no anything, so he got a 5 GB mailbox at last check.
If you insist on using wireless network even though you know its only running in test in the building youre sitting in, EVEN if you sit at your own table WITH a normal network cable next to you, and try to sync a 5 GB mailbox over 10 min before you leave, it cant finish. Then it set a flag saying how far it made it, so it can go on from there.
When you do that for a few weeks, it will have 20+ flags because it never get to finish, and it will crash.
Then hell spend a few hours shouting at my colleague because Lotus Notes is a sucky program, and insist on having him drop everything to fix it.
One should think after 5 times where we every time tell him exactly what he does wrong he would learn not to do it, but noooo.
After 12th time, he actually called for a meeting with the other nearby hospitals, having 12 Lotus Notes admins, 5 IT bosses, 3 guys from IBM, 2 guys from Noteshouse, and a few random people listen to his complaints, and of course the first thing the IBM guy ask is "how many does this problem affect", and our notes guy have to say its ONE user out of our 6600+ mail files. That kinda killed the huge error finding process about this very critical error.

And our boss STILL break it on a regular basis.

sarlen · Post by **sarlen** » January 22, 2007, 8:39 pm

Hesten wrote: Lotus Notes is a sucky program

Amen

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 22, 2007, 10:13 pm

I used to work at a newspaper and I quickly learned that most people there over the age of 25 did not have any computer skills whatsover, despite the fact their jobs centered around using one. I found a lot of women there (and a few guys) basically knew exactly what buttons they had to press to make their computer do what they wanted to do, but they had no understanding of what the buttons did or why they had to press them.

They were basically no smarter than a clever dog that knew how to do different tricks on command.

A lot of it is just irresponsibility on their part, but a lot of it is also just a huge gap in training. Most of these people don't use PC's outside of work, and were probably never given any real significant training but someone who wasn't already a geek.

But yeah, it is infuriating. My uncle and my mom will bascially click on/open anything that is sent to his email and will download and run anything "the internet" tells him to. I have to completely wipe their HD and reinstall their OS about 3 times a year. I keep telling them not to do that kind of shit, and they just nod at me, These are the same kinds of people that forward every fucking chain email and send everyone electronic greeting cards 25x a day.

Ebumar · Post by **Ebumar** » January 23, 2007, 1:27 am

My new job is basically home PC repair, and small business IT. It is so great to finally get to say, "no, sorry, I have an agreement with my company, I can not work on your computer. You can call and make an appointment, though!"

Ashur · Post by **Ashur** » January 23, 2007, 3:24 am

kyoukan wrote:But yeah, it is infuriating. My uncle and my mom will bascially click on/open anything that is sent to his email and will download and run anything "the internet" tells him to. I have to completely wipe their HD and reinstall their OS about 3 times a year. I keep telling them not to do that kind of shit, and they just nod at me, These are the same kinds of people that forward every fucking chain email and send everyone electronic greeting cards 25x a day.

So true. It reminds me of an old Mickey Mouse cartoon where Micky goes "Pluto, you big dummy. You'll never learn anything, will you?" and the dog happily shakes his head no.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » January 23, 2007, 11:38 am

sarlen wrote:
Hesten wrote: Lotus Notes is a sucky program

Amen

Double amen. We use it now and have it doing way more than it is meant to, I guess sometime this summer we are finally going to move over to support force, so I am looking forward to that.

Hesten · Post by **Hesten** » January 23, 2007, 1:48 pm

Hehe, i like Lotus Notes, although it IS kinda resource heavy. Its a waste of resources if its only used for mail/calendar, then i would go with Exchange, but if you got massive number of databases too, then Notes > Exchange.

As for idiots who open attached files uncritically, we just spend all day today at the hospital i work at, trying to get rid of a nasty virus spreading through novell and windows shares.
Its kinda hard to keep a hospital running when ALL important stuff run through Novell servers, and you have to cut off those to make sure noone else get infected.
I think i know what i have to do this week, and next week.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » January 29, 2007, 3:41 pm

We have people here that make $100k and up a year that cannot do something as simple as plug in a keyboard, mouse, or LAN cable. Not a day goes by that we don't have to go and plug something in for someone because they don't know how. It makes me wonder how the hell they get the power plugged in at home for their TV's and phone chargers etc. It is not like this is some high tech training.....most of it is even fucking color coded.

Just goes to prove.....if you make something idiot proof, they will just build a better idiot.

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » January 29, 2007, 5:01 pm

Hesten wrote:Hehe, i like Lotus Notes, although it IS kinda resource heavy. Its a waste of resources if its only used for mail/calendar, then i would go with Exchange, but if you got massive number of databases too, then Notes > Exchange.

We have thousands of Notes databases but more than likely the migration will be to Outlook / Exchange. They are in the process of cleaning them up now. Retiring the ones they can and conversion plans for what's still needed.

Notes is sucky. Thx F5 = logout. The Notes UI has to be the most unintuitive UI I've had the misfortune of using on a daily basis.

Hesten · Post by **Hesten** » January 29, 2007, 6:50 pm

Aslanna wrote:
Hesten wrote:Hehe, i like Lotus Notes, although it IS kinda resource heavy. Its a waste of resources if its only used for mail/calendar, then i would go with Exchange, but if you got massive number of databases too, then Notes > Exchange.
We have thousands of Notes databases but more than likely the migration will be to Outlook / Exchange. They are in the process of cleaning them up now. Retiring the ones they can and conversion plans for what's still needed.

Notes is sucky. Thx F5 = logout. The Notes UI has to be the most unintuitive UI I've had the misfortune of using on a daily basis.

Hehe, ill have to agree with you on the UI, it sucks. No standard look, shortcuts, or anything else

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 29, 2007, 11:32 pm

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:We have people here that make $100k and up a year that cannot do something as simple as plug in a keyboard, mouse, or LAN cable. Not a day goes by that we don't have to go and plug something in for someone because they don't know how. It makes me wonder how the hell they get the power plugged in at home for their TV's and phone chargers etc. It is not like this is some high tech training.....most of it is even fucking color coded.

Just goes to prove.....if you make something idiot proof, they will just build a better idiot.

Or you could consider yourself lucky that people like us pay money for people like you to do things that are beneath us while at work. I'm not crawling under my desk among all the dust bunnies and condom wrappers to stick in a keyboard. That's why you exist.

Someone who makes 100k a year has more important things to do than your fourteen dollar an hour job. Would you rather work at a car wash? Because that is the next step down for you from your "IT" job.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » January 30, 2007, 12:14 pm

I forgot that you know exactly what my job entails and how much I make. Pretty much the same way you form all of your fun arguments though.....making things up off the top of your head. I guess that is why you have to make your money being bent over by sweaty old guys that can braid their back hair.

So why don't tell us why you are so bitter and nasty? Or do you save the details of whatever sick bastard that raped or molested you for your therapist?

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 30, 2007, 1:40 pm

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:Pretty much the same way you form all of your fun arguments though.....making things up off the top of your head.

So why don't tell us why you are so bitter and nasty? Or do you save the details of whatever sick bastard that raped or molested you for your therapist?

gr8 comeback dude

lolz u were raped oh i am so hilariouse

the reason I am bitter is because some cruel fate forces people like me to have to share a planet with people like you. but I guess we all need people to plug our keyboards in and get our coffee.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » January 30, 2007, 1:59 pm

kyoukan wrote:
Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:We have people here that make $100k and up a year that cannot do something as simple as plug in a keyboard, mouse, or LAN cable. Not a day goes by that we don't have to go and plug something in for someone because they don't know how. It makes me wonder how the hell they get the power plugged in at home for their TV's and phone chargers etc. It is not like this is some high tech training.....most of it is even fucking color coded.

Just goes to prove.....if you make something idiot proof, they will just build a better idiot.
Or you could consider yourself lucky that people like us pay money for people like you to do things that are beneath us while at work. I'm not crawling under my desk among all the dust bunnies and condom wrappers to stick in a keyboard. That's why you exist.

Someone who makes 100k a year has more important things to do than your fourteen dollar an hour job. Would you rather work at a car wash? Because that is the next step down for you from your "IT" job.

Sometimes you out do yourself on a daily basis, I just can't figure out how you haven't exploded into a million tiny pieces of bitchy confetti.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » January 30, 2007, 3:16 pm

kyoukan wrote:
Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:Pretty much the same way you form all of your fun arguments though.....making things up off the top of your head.

So why don't tell us why you are so bitter and nasty? Or do you save the details of whatever sick bastard that raped or molested you for your therapist?
gr8 comeback dude

lolz u were raped oh i am so hilariouse

the reason I am bitter is because some cruel fate forces people like me to have to share a planet with people like you. but I guess we all need people to plug our keyboards in and get our coffee.

so it is an inferiority complex....gotcha. Seems like most people that can't see over the toilet have that. Again...therapy will help, but you may want to try some lifts in those shoes and get a booster seat for your car.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 30, 2007, 10:44 pm

I thought it was because I was raped/molested/whatever new fetish fantasy you've come up for me today?

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » January 31, 2007, 12:51 am

if i can explain to my father-in-law the concept that the flash memory in his digital camera is not the PERMANENT ARCHIVE for his photographs and he doestn have to go to Target and buy a new one every time he takes 300 pictures, i will claim victory.

for fucks sake though, i just got all the family i support to convert to Windows XP this past year.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » January 31, 2007, 3:12 am

Now you have Vista! g/l

Kryshade · Post by **Kryshade** » January 31, 2007, 10:35 am

kyoukan wrote: the reason I am bitter is because some cruel fate forces people like me to have to share a planet with people like you. but I guess we all need people to plug our keyboards in and get our coffee.

Well since about 99.9% of your posts come across as completely bitchy and have no real content what so ever, it must mean that you consider everyone here to be like said people above. So you purposefully surround yourself with people you can't stand and then bitch about everything that is said. Let me help you out... the door is that way. ---------------------->

Leave and make the world a better place for you and for everyone here!

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » January 31, 2007, 1:30 pm

Shouldn't you be fighting crime by stealing their stuff?

Kryshade · Post by **Kryshade** » January 31, 2007, 9:07 pm

kyoukan wrote:Shouldn't you be fighting crime by stealing their stuff?

That was actually rather a funny comeback. I never knew you had a sense of humor.

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » February 1, 2007, 11:09 pm

kyoukan wrote:Shouldn't you be fighting crime by stealing their stuff?

Like this? http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dl ... /612210338

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » February 2, 2007, 1:12 am

A lot of police departments are doing that with vehicles they aquire now. The RCMP in parts of BC use high performance sports cars as cruisers on the really long and straight highways (try to catch a guy in a vette or a tuned out mitsu while you're in a crown victoria). A lot of them have stickers on the back that say "Donated by a local drug dealer"

masteen · Post by **masteen** » February 2, 2007, 2:41 am

You would not believe some of the fucking cars that the Miami-Dade PD gets hold of. It's not like the 80's, but a lot of drugs and money still flow through that place.