What's Happening in Burundi...

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 20, 2006, 6:59 pm

The Republic of Burundi is pleased to announce the appointment of the following to the Presidential Cabinet:

Nick - High Chancellor of Burundi for Drunken Debauchery, Poetry and All Manner of Evil Shennanigans

Lalanae - High Chancellor for Tourism, Sodomy and Pie

LittleRico - High Chancellor for Pipe Hitting Tutsis with Blowtorches and Pliers

Drolgin - Chief Ideologist and Minister for Mind Control

Truant - Chancellor of the Exchequer for Bribery, Money Laundering and Procurer of Things Otherwise Unprocurable

Canelek - High Chancellor for Killing Lions on the Football Pitches, Papal Warcrimes and Gnu Chili

Laneela - Minister for Injustice, Shoes and That Little Clicking Noise the Pygmies Keep Making and Chief of the SFP (Secret Fashion Police)

Vaemas - High Chancellor of Burundi for Single Malt Scotches, Accounting Stuffs and Biffin Greeting

Dregor - High Chancellor of Burundi for Science Fiction Film, 3D Breast Animation and Girls Gone Wild: Burundi Special

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » December 20, 2006, 8:03 pm

I'm now accepting bribes.

PM me for my paypal info.

Thanks.

masteen · Post by **masteen** » December 20, 2006, 8:17 pm

Very nice! How much?

Truant · Post by **Truant** » December 20, 2006, 8:31 pm

hott.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » December 20, 2006, 9:00 pm

Free drinks for all who come visit!

Drolgin Steingrinder · December 20, 2006, 9:09 pm

omfg, where's my appointment as Chief Ideologist and Minister for mind control?

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 20, 2006, 9:41 pm

By the way...all applicants for cabinet positions should have lion taming experience or be very fast runners. We have a veritable plethora of lions here in Burundi...

Animalor · Post by **Animalor** » December 20, 2006, 10:05 pm

Burundi, FUCK YEAH!

Repressing the natives, with our motherfucking ~~taaaaanks~~ LIONS!!

Nick · Post by **Nick** » December 20, 2006, 10:23 pm

laneela · Post by **laneela** » December 21, 2006, 12:46 am

Arborealus wrote:By the way...all applicants for cabinet positions should have lion taming experience or be very fast runners. We have a veritable plethora of lions here in Burundi...

Someone very wise told me something once: "You don't have to run faster than [it], you just have to run faster than [the other people]."

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » December 21, 2006, 12:50 am

I don't see why Lalanae gets to be Chancellor of ~~Sodomy~~ Tourism.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » December 21, 2006, 1:04 am

I need to sell like 30,500 units of Uranium. Where to go? I also understand hockey....and papal warcrimes....etc.

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 21, 2006, 3:56 am

kyoukan wrote:I don't see why Lalanae gets to be Chancellor of ~~Sodomy~~ Tourism.

Because sodomy and tourism go hand in hand!

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » December 21, 2006, 4:28 am

As is culinary sanction...

If you need a culinary artiste....

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » December 21, 2006, 7:07 am

Arborealus wrote:
kyoukan wrote:I don't see why Lalanae gets to be Chancellor of ~~Sodomy~~ Tourism.
Because sodomy and tourism go hand in hand!

Hand in. . .somewhere.

Knarlz · Post by **Knarlz** » December 21, 2006, 11:10 am

In case Lalanae missed this.

http://www.burundiansingles.com/start.php?homepage=true

There is no need to be lonely on your next trip to Burundi.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » December 21, 2006, 1:51 pm

Lalanae wrote:I'm now accepting bribes.

PM me for my paypal info.

Thanks.

Please note that all bribes must now first go through Truant, Chancellor of the Exchequer for Bribery, Money Laundering and Procurer of Things Otherwise Unprocurable

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » December 21, 2006, 1:58 pm

But what if I bribe you with pies?

Knarlz · Post by **Knarlz** » December 21, 2006, 2:53 pm

Search for more flights with Ethiopian Airlines. More Info

from $2963 Roundtrip

10:30 pm Depart New York (JFK)
Arrive Bujumbura (BJM) 1:10 pm +2 days Tue 2-Jan
Duration: 31hr 40mn

Truant · Post by **Truant** » December 21, 2006, 3:10 pm

Lalanae wrote:
Lalanae wrote:I'm now accepting bribes.

PM me for my paypal info.

Thanks.
Please note that all bribes must now first go through Truant, Chancellor of the Exchequer for Bribery, Money Laundering and Procurer of Things Otherwise Unprocurable

Of course, any bribes earmarked for any particular official will see their way to that official. My offices are highly organized and honest, despite our dishonest field. Honor amoung thieves and all that.

Vaemas · Post by **Vaemas** » December 21, 2006, 5:04 pm

No no no. Bribery is a common and expected practice in many parts of the civilized world. It's a normal part of doing business in several countries. In fact, the non-U.S. bribe or kickback is tax deductible as long as it doesn't violate the U.S. Foreign Corrupt Practices Act of 1977.

Carry on.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » December 21, 2006, 10:28 pm

Sometimes a cash offering can help expedite things like paperwork and shit--may not necessarily be a bribe. Of course, you should always practice due dilligance when dealing with foreign officials. Please consult you IS&P rep, supervisor and/or Fraud Dept. before sending any cashmonies$$$.

Stan O'Neal, CEO, Merrill Lynch & Co

Sajko · Post by **Sajko** » December 22, 2006, 1:45 am

less amerifags more swedes

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » December 22, 2006, 1:53 am

Sajko wrote:less amerifags more swedes

æde en pik!

Xorian · Post by **Xorian** » December 22, 2006, 6:20 am

So who is in charge of the world tour of the Royal Drummers of Burundi (tm) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Drummers_of_Burundi ?

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » December 22, 2006, 12:43 pm

Sajko wrote:less amerifags more swedes

Burundi needs a Swedish ambassador, but my vote would go to wonko

<3<3

Sajko · Post by **Sajko** » December 22, 2006, 10:59 pm

I don't even like you!

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » December 22, 2006, 11:42 pm

he doesn't even like you!

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » December 22, 2006, 11:50 pm

lies

LIES!!

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 23, 2006, 1:07 am

Sajko wrote:less amerifags more swedes

Bah amerifags we are all Burundian, Sir!

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 31, 2006, 4:55 am

*nudge nudge*

New Cabinet Posting!

Nick · Post by **Nick** » December 31, 2006, 5:04 am

Drolgin Steingrinder · December 31, 2006, 8:38 am

Sir! I most emphatically request that my esteemed colleague Mr. Vaemas' portfolio be reworded so as to reflect the true nature of the expertises and responsibilities involved.

I have here a suggestion that I humbly put forward:

Vaemas - High Chancellor of Burundi for Providing Single Malt Scotches to the Chief Ideologist, Accounting Stuffs and Biffin Greeting

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 31, 2006, 6:16 pm

Drolgin Steingrinder wrote:Sir! I most emphatically request that my esteemed colleague Mr. Vaemas' portfolio be reworded so as to reflect the true nature of the expertises and responsibilities involved.

I have here a suggestion that I humbly put forward:

Vaemas - High Chancellor of Burundi for Providing Single Malt Scotches to the Chief Ideologist, Accounting Stuffs and Biffin Greeting

But you have to ask yourself..."Who would provide the President with Single Malts?" And that is ultimately what is really important!

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » December 31, 2006, 7:40 pm

Let it be known that the glorious nation of Burundi is currently searching for girls who wish to go wild. Interviews will begin immediatement. All prospective applicants should bring a resume, portfolio of their work, a mickey of vodka and a complete lack of inhibitions. Undergarments are discouraged, although creativity may be rewarded.

Nick · Post by **Nick** » December 31, 2006, 7:58 pm

Arb wrote:"Who would provide the President with Single Malts?"

Me baby...me

Tuddi2 · Post by **Tuddi2** » January 1, 2007, 4:36 am

Sajko wrote:I don't even like you!

i bet monyah didn't like you, but we know what she did for ya !

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » January 1, 2007, 6:05 pm

I don't know!

Knarlz · Post by **Knarlz** » January 12, 2007, 3:07 pm

Hollywood dosen't neglect Burundi!

http://www.pugbus.net/artman/publish/01 ... crum.shtml