Hey I need a woman's advice!

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 15, 2006, 11:16 am

Try Splashy Splashy! But don't swim too fast!

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » December 15, 2006, 12:21 pm

Dammit, Xyun, that just aboat brought me to tears. 20 J! Goo gorry!

Truant · Post by **Truant** » December 15, 2006, 1:25 pm

Arborealus wrote:Try Splashy Splashy! But don't swim too fast!

swimmy swimmy

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » December 15, 2006, 1:33 pm

throw her in a hole in your basement and blast her with a hose a lot until stockholm syndrome starts to work it's sweet, sweet magic.

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » December 15, 2006, 1:38 pm

kyoukan wrote:throw her in a hole in your basement and blast her with a hose a lot until stockholm syndrome starts to work it's sweet, sweet magic.

Ok that is the hardest I have laughed in along while...

Drolgin Steingrinder · December 16, 2006, 2:11 am

Xyun wrote:hers was Elvis Costello but I personally can't stand that shit

Sorry snookums, you just failed. And you killed your entire point by dissing Mr. Costello.

My advice is rather simple:

Give her something you think will make her think of you. I don't mean a 8'x12' naked poster or a sculpture of your cock, but...is there anything specific you've shared? A book, a movie, a song, a dance? If she's a reader and there's something you've shared, a nice hardback edition of a book by the same author (or a similar one) with a good dedication by you should work. It's a personal, thoughful gift that adresses her intellect rather than just her femininity. Might not be romantic enough for what you're thinking but *shrug* - I've always found perfume or toiletries/creams/bathstuffs rather impersonal.

Gemily · Post by **Gemily** » December 16, 2006, 8:52 pm

If you still want to hint at her you want something closer than just being a friend, get her anything from Victoria's Secret. Anything at all, the label alone carries your message pretty loud and clear

Drolgin Steingrinder · December 16, 2006, 8:55 pm

Wow, did I write that? I can't even remember...damn christmas parties and their schnapps and beer.

Kwonryu DragonFist · December 16, 2006, 10:43 pm

OP

It's evident that you want it to be more than friends while she wants to keep it on a friendly basis.

Don't hope for anything to happen someday in the future, stop thinking and wasting time and energy on this "friend" you hope to be more, and get a new love-interest.

Get a new girl to put time and energy on, and if the first one ever was interested, you will notice, since you're spending time with the new one and not the old one anymore.

If she don't pay any attention, then who cares, you got a new one to waste time and energy and expensive gifts on.

But don't waste money on something that may never happen.

If you feel you must give her something, give her something cheap.

If she ain't interested , who cares if yer tryin' to impress her.

If she gets impressed by an expensive gift, she was prolly only a golddigger anyways.

You're what's important, not her, let her know that and make that be known!

The way you're acting right now, what we call in Sweden as a "toffel", she won't become attracted to.

She'll just wanna keep you as a friend that gives her expensive gifts but she never have to put out with and she prolly takes you for granted as well.

Show her what's what, if she ain't interested, move on.

Don't waste time and precious energy with crap.

Useless.

Move on to the next. Sounds like your stuck in the friend-trap and judging by your post, you are not content with just being friends, or are you?

Hoping that someday "it will be us", is crap.

You don't have time to wait, if she wants you, she wants you right now.

Apparently she does not feel any animal attraction so you try to persuade her mind with expensive gifts.

That's crap.

Move on bro, will save OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of headaches in the future.

If you just want her as a friend, then who cares about advice about gifts?
You don't want to impress a friend like that anyways.

A friend is a friend that appreciates a pet rock.

Sounds like you ain't takin' the charge with this chick, but following her lead like a puppy giving her what she wants.

That's crap.

I wouldn't waste 10$ on someone who wasn't interested in the slightest.

This whole thread makes me irritated.

You're stuck in a frickin' trap bro, get out.

Be in control, take command and move on to the next.

Neziroth · Post by **Neziroth** » December 17, 2006, 2:07 pm

Regardless of whether or not I was trying to take things further, I'd still get her a gift in the same price range.

She's a close friend, probably in my top 3 as far as that goes, and I get my friends nice things for Christmas and their birthdays, so it's not about trying to impress her.

Kwon, the whole situation isn't as severe as you think it is. If I didn't get her an expensive gift, she'd still be my friend. I was asking for ideas on what I could get that might tell her that I want to go further with "us."

Thanks for trying to help with your advice man, but you're just a little off.

She's not a gold digger, I'm not blindly following her begging her to be with me, it's not like that at all.

Oh, and whoever asked, I'm not a fat ugly troll

Clatis · Post by **Clatis** » December 17, 2006, 7:25 pm

get her slippers and a dildo, if she says she doesn't like the slippers tell her to go f herself ~

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » December 17, 2006, 7:44 pm

ROFL, something tells me Kwon has been burned by a girl "friend" That's the longest post he's ever made AND it didn't contain references to body building or fight scenes!

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » December 17, 2006, 7:49 pm

This thread reminds me of a Beulah song about a guy who's in love with a girl "friend" (she doesn't reciprocate) and how he reacts to her new boyfriend. Its pretty cute/funny.

Popular Mechanics for Lovers

I know he knocks you off your feet
You’re so bitter; you think he’s sweet
Well he’s wrong for you, I swear

Did you forget to read the script?
There was never a role for him
It was always you and me, just me

Popular mechanics for broken hearts could help me now

I know you never felt romance
And we always lack suspense
I can edit those parts out

I never made you feel complete
I would fall beneath your feet
I would never bring you down, so down

Popular mechanics for broken hearts could help me now

Just because he loves you too
He would never take a bullet for you
Don’t believe a word he says
He would never cut his heart out for you

I heard he wrote you a song
But so what
Some guy wrote 69
And one just ain’t enough

And there’s so sense in trying
I know cuz I’ve been
Trying all the time to find something that would make you mine
But all I ever find my love
Are clichés that don’t rhyme

Popular mechanics for broken hearts could help me now

Just because he loves you too
He would never take a bullet for you
Don’t believe a word he says
He would never cut his heart out for you

Knarlz · Post by **Knarlz** » December 18, 2006, 2:29 pm

I wouldn't rule out the glove idea.

..............................

The Gift

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's
birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful
consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right
note : romantic, but not too personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstorm
and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of
panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the
items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the
panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the
package and sent it to his sweetheart with this note :

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of
wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for
your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but
she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate
shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had
been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled.
I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was
there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands
will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you
again.

When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them
away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think
how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you
will wear them for me on Friday night. All my Love

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur
showing."

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » December 18, 2006, 4:07 pm

You could always give her a dick in a box.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/12/18/i ... -in-a-box/

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » December 18, 2006, 4:54 pm

I prefer giving her a cock in a box

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3vF6vD9l3Ks

edit: Bah, its what you posted.

Post by **Sylvus** » December 18, 2006, 5:01 pm

Dregor Thule wrote:You could always give her a dick in a box.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/12/18/i ... -in-a-box/

That was pretty funny. I love how they looked all Color Me Badd.

noel · Post by **noel** » December 18, 2006, 5:13 pm

Sylvus wrote:
Dregor Thule wrote:You could always give her a dick in a box.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/12/18/i ... -in-a-box/
That was pretty funny. I love how they looked all Color Me Badd.

It reminded me a lot of this:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2TkQzxdwe5w

I don't think a lot of you guys are familiar with Jack in the Box, but they're a fast food chain in California and the surrounding areas that you could argue is more well known for their advertising than their food.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » December 18, 2006, 5:20 pm

noel wrote:
Sylvus wrote:
Dregor Thule wrote:You could always give her a dick in a box.

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/12/18/i ... -in-a-box/
That was pretty funny. I love how they looked all Color Me Badd.
It reminded me a lot of this:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2TkQzxdwe5w

I don't think a lot of you guys are familiar with Jack in the Box, but they're a fast food chain in California and the surrounding areas that you could argue is more well known for their advertising than their food.

Their tacos are evil-good. For a mere 99 cents you can have 9267 calories and 612 grams of fat stuffed into 2 yummy greasy tacos.

noel · Post by **noel** » December 18, 2006, 5:21 pm

Lol. I've never had their tacos. Back when I used to care less what I ate, I used to go there often and get: A Grilled Sourdough Jack, 5 piece egg rolls, chili cheese fries and a super quencher of Coke... I don't even wanna know the calories and fat in that. ><

I was also reminded of this SNL parody of 'New Kids on the Block'. Unfortunately I couldn't find the video of it, but I think the lyrics will give you the concept:

Girl
Performed by Dana Carvey, Jason Priestly, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, and Mike Myers on 15 Feb 1992 (Jason Priestly)

Arsenio (Chris Rock): Now don't leave us hanging with just that.

JP: Yeah, I hear that, Arsenio.
Yo guys, lets kick it!

(Music starts playing)
Yo now, before we start singing,
You also want to know in addition to writing our own songs,
we also do our own choreography.

JP: Girl, I can't stop thinking of you girl,
Y-O-U, spells girl.
Woke up this morning, put on my own clothes,
cause the ladys' not here, to help us no more.
Went down to the store, I got myself some juice,
its tasted good and fresh and I love you.

All: Girl, you are wicked awesome.
DC: I buttoned up my own shirt, whew!

All: Because, you girl...
RS: Whenever I make my own plane reservations...

All: I think of you girl, cause girl you are wicked awesome!

AS: My name is Donny, and I'm here to say
They call me Donny, cause that's my name.
Banana's are good in every way,
An apple a day, keeps the doctor away,
Purina Cat Chow -
All: Chow, chow, chow.
AS: If my friends could only see me now,
I'm walking, I'm talking, McCauly Caukin,
Roger Clemmons was called for walking.
Word, Sister!

All: 1, 2, Dosey dow, dosey dow.

All: You are... wicked awesome!

AS: Peace.

Post by **Sylvus** » December 18, 2006, 5:47 pm

To this day, anytime "Home Alone" is on, or anything with Macauly or one of his brothers for that matter, I cannot help but saying "I'm walking, I'm talking, I'm McCauly Caulkin."

That was a funny skit.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » December 18, 2006, 5:54 pm

Lalanae wrote:Their tacos are evil-good. For a mere 99 cents you can have 9267 calories and 612 grams of fat stuffed into 2 yummy greasy tacos.

320 cal 16g fat for 2.

But they're soooooooo good.

Xou and i want to start a letter writing campaign to Jack to allow an option to substitute 2 tacos for an order of fries in a combo meal. (incidentally, the fries' menu price is higher than the 2 tacos!)

noel · Post by **noel** » December 18, 2006, 5:59 pm

I will sign that petition!

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » December 18, 2006, 6:00 pm

Sylvus wrote:To this day, anytime "Home Alone" is on, or anything with Macauly or one of his brothers for that matter, I cannot help but saying "I'm walking, I'm talking, I'm McCauly Caulkin."

lol @ "anytime 'Home Alone' is on," like you don't own it and watch it regularly

Post by **Sylvus** » December 18, 2006, 6:57 pm

What can I say, I admire the work of the Wet Bandits. If only that damned Kevin McCallister hadn't ruined their crime spree.

I'm planning a string of copycat crimes for this Christmas Eve.

Karli · Post by **Karli** » December 22, 2006, 12:10 am

I'll try and help......

You say she wears necklaces all the time, so I assume you know her taste/style. She may love getting one for a gift, particularly if it's one she really likes.

Does she work out? How about an exercise ball, mat, and gloves. I'd love a set like that from Santa.

A gift certificate for a massage and a bottle of wine. Mmmmmmm

If you're in a cold climate get her a remote control car starter and install it yourself. They're about 50 bucks. I got one for a gift and it's one of my all time favorites.

Music

Movies

Candles

Candies

Snow shoes/rollerblades, depending on where you live. Get yourself a pair too and ask her on a date.

Good luck.