So there I was in a local grocery store sportin' my coca-cola uniform and doing my thing building a sweet ass display of VAULT when the all too familiar feeling of the dreaded beer shits hit me.
You know that feeling when you think you're about to give birth to a 40 pound kid and it has to be done right away? I had that feeling. I had to poo.
I went to the bathroom that's located right behind the cash registers, and even though this is no small grocery store there's only ONE stall. Two urinals and one stall. (This is the second biggest coca-cola account in our territory which is a good chunk of western new york).
Anyhow, I luck out - the stall is empty. I proceed to do "The move" that was mentioned in a past thread, you know that one where you pull the pants down and spin and sit all at once and er... "let go" at the exact moment that you make contact with the toilet seat? I'm a pro at that. I really nailed the landing, too.
So I'm holding onto the toilet seat doing my thing and trying not to blast off like a rocket when I hear the bathroom door open. It's either someone who's going to see the stall is occupied and leave or someone whos going to take a quick piss and leave so I decide to try and hold off for a minute for his sake.
He tries the stall door and notices it's locked. I giggle to myself, sucks to be him.
Then he says "You're going to have to wait a minute."
And his little DAUGHTER answers "I have to go nowwwww"
He says "We'll wait here he'll be out in a minute."
OK WHAT THE FUCK. I'm about to scar a 3 year old girl for life with this shit (pun defintiely intended) because they're literally standing RIGHT outside of the stall door waiting for me.
I was regretting trying to hold off for this guy because I felt like a fucking balloon right about then. I didn't last long enough to try to think of something to say to him.
Let's just say I didn't have time to warn him and things happened. Bad things happened. I didn't feel bad, though. Who the fuck stands right outside of the stall door and waits for someone to drop a deuce?
I hope his daughter has nightmares about the events that unfolded in that bathroom!
I took about 5 minutes to finish up with everything, and they stood right outside the stall for the entire time.
When I opened the door I just gave him a smile and told him "All yours!" He looked disgusted, like it was my fault his daughter was subjected to that.
I'm such an ass.
Public Bathrooms Revisited!
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Public Bathrooms Revisited!
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That's the most disgusting thing I can think of....standing outside the stall waiting....what did he expect to hear?
edit:
You also could have tried the ever useful "poo proclamation" to warn any inhabitants of the restroom: BRACE YOURSELF!
edit:
You also could have tried the ever useful "poo proclamation" to warn any inhabitants of the restroom: BRACE YOURSELF!
Last edited by Kluden on May 15, 2006, 10:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Bubba Grizz
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Doubt it was a trans-gender bathroom, but a dad with a 3-year old girl is probably smart not to send her into the women's bathroom alone. But sheesh... with a girl, he should have at least waited outside. Three is old enough for a girl not to spend longer than necessary anywhere near a urinal.
And actually, from the female perspective... generally, females just wait outside the stalls when they are full. But we usually have more than one stall, so if someone is having a gastric explosion, we generally don't have to wait around for it to finish.
On another note... can't really say that I've ever had to hear one either, in all the time I've spent waiting in bathroom lines. Sure have smelled them though... Peeeeuuuuu!
And actually, from the female perspective... generally, females just wait outside the stalls when they are full. But we usually have more than one stall, so if someone is having a gastric explosion, we generally don't have to wait around for it to finish.
On another note... can't really say that I've ever had to hear one either, in all the time I've spent waiting in bathroom lines. Sure have smelled them though... Peeeeuuuuu!
