southern california

Gnomies · Post by **Gnomies** » February 19, 2006, 12:20 am

Hello all, I'am being stationed in southern california, at Edwards AFB, 1.5-2hours west of LA. I was just wondering what there is to do out there, attractions to go see and if anyone else I know lives out that way. I'am totally unfamiliar with the west coast, thank you in advance

Trek · Post by **Trek** » February 19, 2006, 1:10 am

Well I havent lived there in 20 years but some stuff to kill time:

Party in Tiawana (Mexico)
Disneyland
Universal Studios
Watch a drive by shooting
get a hooker
get VD from a hooker
goto the beach and step on an aids infected needle
Goto a Kings hockey game!
Goto a Dodger game in a SF Giants jersey (take lots of friends)
Goto San Diego (much nicer city)
Lots of places for music dependant on your taste
Goto Hollywood and stalk a star (my personal fav)

Prolly left out lots of stuff, but in a hurry

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » February 19, 2006, 1:52 am

you can always get a few of your buddies and go beat up krurk.

Sargeras · Post by **Sargeras** » February 19, 2006, 1:59 am

I start work at Edwards on Tuesday. Trust me dude, you're up here in the high desert (Antelope Valley), and there is jack shit to do here. Your best bet is to drive south for about 1 1/2 hours to LA to find something fun to do.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » February 19, 2006, 2:09 am

THINGS TO DO WHILE IN CALIFORNIA* IF YOU ARE IN THE ARMED FORCES

1. Queerbash
2. Hit your wife
3. Clean gun while loaded (please do this)
4. Kill your wife
5. Practice innocent look for post-Canadian friendly fire debriefing.
6. Secretly hate all visible minorities you work with
7. Tearfully salute flag while diverting half your income towards Saudi Arabia in the form of Premium Unleaded with Techroline™ in order to power SUV
8. Torture muslims in case assigned to abu gharib
9. Post random, quasi-racist neocon articles and blogs on interweb forums without leaving a comment, expressing nothing resembling thought or supporting opinion.
10. Disneyland!

* or anywhere

Tyek · Post by **Tyek** » February 19, 2006, 2:35 am

Yeah nothing up where you are gonna be. That is Bum fuck egypt. your going to have to go to LA to do anything exciting, sorry. On a positive note, they got a ton of hail up there today.

valryte · Post by **valryte** » February 19, 2006, 4:17 am

Sit in traffic and watch the sky turn brown.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » February 19, 2006, 5:03 am

Try to remain standing during the daily earthquakes and plan on alternate routes due to mudslides blocking the roads and forrest fires.

Gnomies · Post by **Gnomies** » February 19, 2006, 5:11 am

Sarg, I would ask to hang out with you, but you're a giant. And I, I'am very short. Then the jokes of "I shall call him, mini-me" would start comming in

Kwonryu DragonFist · February 19, 2006, 5:52 am

West Siiiiide!

Nilaman · Post by **Nilaman** » February 19, 2006, 5:58 am

Sparty wrote:<><><><><><>
Its friday night and im alone at my desk. I wish I had something to do.
Ide have something to do if I was a jew. If I was a jew, ide have
something to do. Maybe my friend Tango knows something to do.

Hello Tango, how are you?

Im fine thank you, but i know nothing to do. who? who? If i was a jew ide know what to do.

If i was a jew ide know what to do, ide sit on the toilet and take a bloody poo.
I would take that poo cause its something to do.
Hey tango,i think thomas is a jew, he'll know what to do. who? you? I do.

Hello thomas, are you a jew?

No im not a jew, but I know what to do. Pull down your pants and pee in your shoe.

I'll pull down my pants, and pee in my shoe. Cause thats something to do. Not thats
its what a jew would do, even if its something to do. you? who?

So i pull down my pants and begin to pee in my shoe, but up from my penis came a
crab who i quickly named boo.
Hello little boo, are you a jew?

No im not a jew, im just a crab, now shut your fucking face, i must get back to my lab.

I was upset and sad. I was no jew. I had nothin to do, so I called up a ho named Mary Sue.
Mary Sue was no jew, but she knew what to. She do, I do, who?

Howdy Mary Sue, how do you do?

Hello Sparty, im just fine.

Mary Sue, would you like to come over and do something to do?

Yes, i'll fuck and i'll suck, and do something to do. As a jew would do if his named
was lou.

So she came over and looked at me too. She said, hello little Sparty, now pull down your
pants and give me something to do, even though im not a jew and your not a jew, its
sometihng to do. who?

So I pulled down my pants, and Mary Sue said.

wow, you are a jew....

<><><><><><><>

redeemed · Post by **redeemed** » February 19, 2006, 7:21 am

"california~
knows how to party"

Phuggs · Post by **Phuggs** » February 19, 2006, 10:43 am

EDW was my place for 3+years. Like they said NOT a lot to do. If you dont have a 4x4 .. GET ONE. Some of the best wheeling in the country is ON the base. Take a lakebed tour you can get to a lot of the old wrecksites along the lakebed.
The other thing is PARTY .. all the dorms are smashed together and you can always count the ATC guys to be drinking heavily. When I was there the dorm was across from the chow hall. I can remember some nights (not most) being able to stumble back to my room and pass out on the 2nd floor of the 3rd floor , outside access building. I still have the steel grate marks on my face to proove it.
Take advantage the place you are in (highest technology inth e forces). Suck up as much knowledge as you can.

Phugg
EX upper air and airfield weather USAF
EDW Nov 89-May93

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » February 19, 2006, 10:57 am

Hmm that Canadian chick has anger management issues.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » February 19, 2006, 12:43 pm

kyoukan wrote:THINGS TO DO WHILE IN CALIFORNIA* IF YOU ARE IN THE ARMED FORCES

1. Queerbash
2. Hit your wife
3. Clean gun while loaded (please do this)
4. Kill your wife
5. Practice innocent look for post-Canadian friendly fire debriefing.
6. Secretly hate all visible minorities you work with
7. Tearfully salute flag while diverting half your income towards Saudi Arabia in the form of Premium Unleaded with Techroline™ in order to power SUV
8. Torture muslims in case assigned to abu gharib
9. Post random, quasi-racist neocon articles and blogs on interweb forums without leaving a comment, expressing nothing resembling thought or supporting opinion.
10. Disneyland!

* or anywhere

Wow.....it sounds fun to make generalised lists! Let me try one

Things to do if you are a short Canadian female:

1. Have self esteem issues and troll the internet.
2. Make snowshoes from carribou antlers and colons from past lovers.
3. Make sure everyone knows you hate the U.S.
4. Knit a sweater from the pit hair that collects in your shirt.
5. Think back to the great family life you used to .....nevermind
6. Think up some new conspiracy theories.
7. Put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger
8. Marry a black man solely so you can be more liberal.
9. Beat your sled dogs
10. See number 7

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » February 19, 2006, 2:15 pm

6. Secretly hate all visible minorities you work with

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » February 19, 2006, 3:12 pm

those aren't half as funny as mine

Clatis · Post by **Clatis** » February 19, 2006, 3:17 pm

so cal sucks

Jarori Bloodletter · February 19, 2006, 5:42 pm

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:
Wow.....it sounds fun to make generalised lists! Let me try one

Things to do if you are a short Canadian female:

1. Have self esteem issues and troll the internet.
2. Make snowshoes from carribou antlers and colons from past lovers.
3. Make sure everyone knows you hate the U.S.
4. Knit a sweater from the pit hair that collects in your shirt.
5. Think back to the great family life you used to .....nevermind
6. Think up some new conspiracy theories.
7. Put a gun in your mouth and pull the trigger
8. Marry a black man solely so you can be more liberal.
9. Beat your sled dogs
10. See number 7

LOL #2

Classic

Waran · Post by **Waran** » February 19, 2006, 6:56 pm

Used to live at Edwards AFB about 13 years ago. Palmdale and Lancaster were the only shopping places around town. I think you can go skiing in Big Bear. You can also enjoy possible space shuttle landing sonic booms if the Shuttle happens to land there too.

You're prolly going to have to drive down to LA/Anaheim to do anything worth a crap. Six Flags Magic Mountain is a drive as well.

Enjoy the Dry lake flooding in torrential rains. They close parts of the road in and out of the base because of flooding.

Hope you don't go crazy out in the Mojave, I'm glad I only spent a year there.

Sparty · Post by **Sparty** » February 19, 2006, 7:40 pm

Im with Nilaman on this one.

My name is Sparty

Sargeras · Post by **Sargeras** » February 19, 2006, 9:12 pm

Mini-me? Are you hungry? How about a Hot Pocket? an Eggo?

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » February 21, 2006, 5:26 pm

sargeras more like largerass