New Official Language for EU

Kwonryu DragonFist · February 2, 2006, 11:55 am

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 12:20 pm

I hope those spelling changes were a joke, matter of fact I hope the whole post was. Lessening letters used coming from the people who spell color incorrectly as "colour"?

miir · Post by **miir** » February 2, 2006, 12:34 pm

Funkmasterr wrote:I hope those spelling changes were a joke, matter of fact I hope the whole post was.

Your first clue should have been who posted this.
Your second clue should have been that you're a fucking moron.

Lessening letters used coming from the people who spell color incorrectly as "colour"?

More proof that you're a fucking moron.
The American languange is derived from the English langunage which originated in England. People who use proper English spell words like colour and cheque the original (correct) way.

Did you know that American dictionaries actually list 'nook-u-ler' as a correct and acceptable pronunciation of nuclear?

noel · Post by **noel** » February 2, 2006, 12:41 pm

miir wrote: Did you know that American dictionaries actually list 'nook-u-ler' as a correct and acceptable pronunciation of nuclear?

Your first clue should be that he's a fucking moron.

Your second clue should be your first clue.

I'm on ignore, so he'll never see this and have to reply to it!

Morgrym · Post by **Morgrym** » February 2, 2006, 12:57 pm

noel wrote:
miir wrote: Did you know that American dictionaries actually list 'nook-u-ler' as a correct and acceptable pronunciation of nuclear?
Your first clue should be that he's a fucking moron.

Your second clue should be your first clue.

I'm on ignore, so he'll never see this and have to reply to it!

Quoted for his viewing pleasure. Good drama is too hard to pass up.

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » February 2, 2006, 1:14 pm

Something like this coming from the EU? Honsetly wouldn't surprise me that much.

The article is a rip off of something Samuel Clemens wrote in the 1860s (IIRC)

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 1:21 pm

Well, since I was unfortunate enough to have to read the quote, I'll reply.

The spelling of nuclear thing miir is stupid, I'll agree.. Ive never once heard anyone pronounce the word that way though.

I don't care how the words were spelled originally, or why. When I say color out loud, in now way can I see why a U would be in the word, so in my opinion, the word was refined by the version of english we speak to get rid of a letter that was not necessary.

It's so flattering how Noel goes out of his way to tell me how much of a moron I am in every post, when it's really not the case.

By the way Noel, hows your sand nigger friend doing ?

Ogbar · Post by **Ogbar** » February 2, 2006, 1:33 pm

Funny stuff, Kwon.

I dont know, Funk: colour, glamour, pour, four ... all sound the same to me. Should we modify pour and four to be por and for, respectively?

miir · Post by **miir** » February 2, 2006, 1:34 pm

Funkmasterr wrote:The spelling of nuclear thing miir is stupid, I'll agree.. Ive never once heard anyone pronounce the word that way though.

Your current and a few past presidents pronounce it that way.

I don't care how the words were spelled originally, or why. When I say color out loud, in now way can I see why a U would be in the word, so in my opinion, the word was refined by the version of english we speak to get rid of a letter that was not necessary.

Actually, if you spelled colour phoeneticaly (or is that foenetickly) it would be kuller or maybe kullur. Shouldn't 'color' be pronounced like 'colon'? The 'U' in colour defines the correct pronunciation of the word.

In addition to that, the majority of people use the original spelling of colour. Use of the shortened version is pretty much limited to the United States.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 1:42 pm

miir wrote:
Funkmasterr wrote:The spelling of nuclear thing miir is stupid, I'll agree.. Ive never once heard anyone pronounce the word that way though.
Your current and a few past presidents pronounce it that way.

I don't care how the words were spelled originally, or why. When I say color out loud, in now way can I see why a U would be in the word, so in my opinion, the word was refined by the version of english we speak to get rid of a letter that was not necessary.
Actually, if you spelled colour phoeneticaly (or is that foenetickly) it would be kuller or maybe kullur. Shouldn't 'color' be pronounced like 'colon'? The 'U' in colour defines the correct pronunciation of the word.

In addition to that, the majority of people use the original spelling of colour. Use of the shortened version is pretty much limited to the United States.

On the bold subject up top, thats interesting. I guess I just never payed that close attention, but now that you say it I guess Bush does.. Did Clinton?

I see where you are coming from on the rest of your post, I guess its just the differences that I see between the two regularily that I think are silly, I never really thought into it as far as what you were saying in respect to phoenetics.

miir · Post by **miir** » February 2, 2006, 1:48 pm

On the bold subject up top, thats interesting. I guess I just never payed that close attention, but now that you say it I guess Bush does.. Did Clinton?

Both of the Bushes and (I think) Reagan pronounced it nook-you-lurr.
Clinton used the more conventional pronunciation.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 1:54 pm

miir wrote:
On the bold subject up top, thats interesting. I guess I just never payed that close attention, but now that you say it I guess Bush does.. Did Clinton?
Both of the Bushes and (I think) Reagan pronounced it nook-you-lurr.
Clinton used the more conventional pronunciation.

Interesting, I'm going to have to pay closer attention the next time I hear Bush speak.. I think my chances of him saying nuclear in any given speach are pretty damn good

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » February 2, 2006, 1:59 pm

miir · Post by **miir** » February 2, 2006, 2:04 pm

Upon further investigation, Clinton used both.
Eisenhower was apparently the fist president to use nook-you-ler.

Vaemas · Post by **Vaemas** » February 2, 2006, 2:41 pm

I seem to remember this post almost verbatim talking about Arnold and him changing the way English was spoken in California.

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library ... nguage.htm

About 2+ years ago.

Clatis · Post by **Clatis** » February 2, 2006, 2:52 pm

You say tomato, I say fuck you.

noel · Post by **noel** » February 2, 2006, 3:20 pm

I feel so special. Apparently Miir is no longer on ignore, but I still am! HAHAHA MIIR!!!!11

Everytime Funk uses a racial slur... I'm not surprised.

Have fun at the Klan meeting Funk.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 3:28 pm

noel wrote:I feel so special. Apparently Miir is no longer on ignore, but I still am! HAHAHA MIIR!!!!11

Everytime Funk uses a racial slur... I'm not surprised.

Have fun at the Klan meeting Funk.

No, I made a comment about something he said so I only found it fair to read his response. I just did the same with you, don't worry- you're still firmly planted on my ignore list. Wouldnt want disapoint you.

Atokal · Post by **Atokal** » February 2, 2006, 3:44 pm

Hey, whats happening in this thread?

Not to agree with Funk who I see as a misguided racist shitheal.

But Noel are seriously laughing at Funk for putting you on ignore?

Ha!!!!

Considering you are the only person who has me on ignore. Grow some stones. Putting anyone on ignore is a clear indication that you cannot take the heat. Bragging that you have someone on ignore or making the inevitable /welcome to ignore comment is so stupid it is laughable.

Funk you are a dick but I don't have you on ignore.

miir · Post by **miir** » February 2, 2006, 3:52 pm

I think I'm still on his ignore list but I'm not really concerned about it.

If he needs to put me on ignore to be less tempted to respond to my trolls, I understand, but I think he knows that I'm also capable of having a normal conversation with him (when he's not being a buffoon).

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » February 2, 2006, 5:02 pm

Post your "ignored by" lists!

masteen · Post by **masteen** » February 2, 2006, 5:02 pm

I'm not sure what's funnier, zee seekrit German agenda, or the cockjousting afterwards...

Leonaerd · Post by **Leonaerd** » February 2, 2006, 5:14 pm

The original post was pretty funny. I also laughed when Funkmasterr got all racist up in this place.

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » February 2, 2006, 5:45 pm

Winnow wrote:Post your "ignored by" lists!

I wonder how many people are being ignored by Nobody?

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 6:12 pm

miir wrote:I think I'm still on his ignore list but I'm not really concerned about it.

If he needs to put me on ignore to be less tempted to respond to my trolls, I understand, but I think he knows that I'm also capable of having a normal conversation with him (when he's not being a buffoon).

I have cleared my ignore list. I went on a retreat to the happy place in the back of my mind over the past few days and have come to terms with the fact that as much as it bothers me to do so, I just have to brush off 75% of what you say !

miir · Post by **miir** » February 2, 2006, 6:42 pm

Funkmasterr wrote:
miir wrote:I think I'm still on his ignore list but I'm not really concerned about it.

If he needs to put me on ignore to be less tempted to respond to my trolls, I understand, but I think he knows that I'm also capable of having a normal conversation with him (when he's not being a buffoon).
I have cleared my ignore list. I went on a retreat to the happy place in the back of my mind over the past few days and have come to terms with the fact that as much as it bothers me to do so, I just have to brush off 75% of what you say !

Give this man a prize!

Truant · Post by **Truant** » February 2, 2006, 7:15 pm

what the fuck is a shitheal?

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 7:30 pm

Truant wrote:what the fuck is a shitheal?

Its an ancient african ritual in which you smear guanno all over your body. It is said to heal most ailnesses.

noel · Post by **noel** » February 2, 2006, 8:16 pm

Funkmasterr wrote:
Truant wrote:what the fuck is a shitheal?
Its an ancient african ritual in which you smear guanno all over your body. It is said to heal most ailnesses.

You first.

Are you saying Africans wallow in shit?

Racist.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 8:19 pm

noel wrote:
Funkmasterr wrote:
Truant wrote:what the fuck is a shitheal?
Its an ancient african ritual in which you smear guanno all over your body. It is said to heal most ailnesses.
You first.

Are you saying Africans wallow in shit?

Racist.

Absolutely not, I was just elaborating on the question presented.

noel · Post by **noel** » February 2, 2006, 8:21 pm

I'm just teasing you. Lets kiss and make up. Actually lets not kiss.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 2, 2006, 8:22 pm

noel wrote:I'm just teasing you. Lets kiss and make up. Actually lets not kiss.

Sounds good ! Besides the kissing part..

Traz-KOE · Post by **Traz-KOE** » February 2, 2006, 8:31 pm

Atokal wrote:fucking children

Noysyrump · Post by **Noysyrump** » February 3, 2006, 12:56 am

I originally saw this post about 10 years ago, was funny then, is funny now. people need to understand the krauts must have it their way!~

Thanks kwon its been a while since i saw that

Kwonryu DragonFist · Post by **Kwonryu DragonFist** » February 3, 2006, 9:29 am

Noysyrump wrote:I originally saw this post about 10 years ago, was funny then, is funny now. people need to understand the krauts must have it their way!~

Thanks kwon its been a while since i saw that

Hehe Welcome!

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » February 3, 2006, 9:54 am

Truant wrote:what the fuck is a shitheal?

Don't know, good word though

Almost as good as asswipe.

Knarlz · Post by **Knarlz** » February 3, 2006, 11:37 am

shitheal had 447 hits on Google.

seems to mean lowlife basicly.

It is used in the movie Analize This (1999) " My father was a nickel and dime shitheal" Which implies it may be a very old school slang term.

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » February 3, 2006, 11:44 am

That would be "shitheel" ... FFS.

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 3, 2006, 11:48 am

Zaelath wrote:That would be "shitheel" ... FFS.

I was wondering how long it would be before someone would point out the spelling error.

Tinkin Tankem · Post by **Tinkin Tankem** » February 4, 2006, 5:45 pm

I was wondering how long it would be before someone would point out the spelling error.

You're worried about words being spelled correctly?

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 4, 2006, 6:05 pm

Tinkin Tankem wrote:
I was wondering how long it would be before someone would point out the spelling error.
You're worried about words being spelled correctly?

No but if you actually read the thread and payed attention to whats going on, thats the reason why someone initally asked what a shitheal is, and why zaelath made his post above, I was the third person at least to say something about it, but you just wanted to join the "try and irritate funk" bandwagon.

laneela · Post by **laneela** » February 4, 2006, 6:29 pm

Funkmasterr wrote:
Tinkin Tankem wrote:
I was wondering how long it would be before someone would point out the spelling error.
You're worried about words being spelled correctly?
No but if you actually read the thread and payed attention to whats going on, thats the reason why someone initally asked what a shitheal is, and why zaelath made his post above, I was the third person at least to say something about it, but you just wanted to join the "try and irritate funk" bandwagon.

You don't seriously believe that anyone cares enough about you to create a bandwagon dedicated to you, do you?

Funkmasterr · Post by **Funkmasterr** » February 4, 2006, 7:15 pm

laneela wrote:
Funkmasterr wrote:
Tinkin Tankem wrote:
I was wondering how long it would be before someone would point out the spelling error.
You're worried about words being spelled correctly?
No but if you actually read the thread and payed attention to whats going on, thats the reason why someone initally asked what a shitheal is, and why zaelath made his post above, I was the third person at least to say something about it, but you just wanted to join the "try and irritate funk" bandwagon.
You don't seriously believe that anyone cares enough about you to create a bandwagon dedicated to you, do you?

Yawn.

Zaelath · Post by **Zaelath** » February 4, 2006, 8:43 pm

laneela wrote: You don't seriously believe that anyone cares enough about you to create a bandwagon dedicated to you, do you?

I wanna bandwagon! With groupies, and blackjack. Meh, forget the blackjack.

Tinkin Tankem · Post by **Tinkin Tankem** » February 6, 2006, 5:56 am

I was referring to the definition of heel vs. heal. I would assume that the word would be spelled shit-heel. Similar to the word shit-head.

After reading through the whole thread I found multiple blatantly misspelled and misused words. I found it humorous that when I came to your post that you would be the one that was lurking waiting for someone to point out the difference. If I wanted to jump on the band wagon of Funk hating... I'm sure I could have hopped aboard long ago.