Uwe Boll must be stopped

[Sionistic]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_Boll

http://imdb.com/name/nm0093051/

Uwe Boll is the director of "Alone in the Dark" and "House of the Dead", (both of which are on IMDB's Bottom 100 at 2.2 out of 10) and has nearly completed making "Bloodrayne."

Let me put it this way, Uwe Boll is raping the video game industry. He has pulled his cock out, and is stabbing it into the hopes and dreams of all video game fans. The forementioned movies are unquestionably the WORST video game movies EVER made, and are contenders for worst movies of all time. (Yes im even counting Mario Brothers) NO reputable site has given a single good review for any of his movies.

This was one of the top user comments from IMDB on "Alone in the Dark"

I was honestly surprised by Alone in the Dark. It was so bad, I could hardly believe what I was seeing. There are no characters, just a few stereotypes wandering around and getting killed. The extent of the character development was giving each character a name and an occupation, and that's about it. There was no real plot, and none of the characters seemed to have any motivation. In fact, many action scenes just began on their own, coming from nowhere with a pounding techno track. While I was watching this movie I kept asking "Where is this happening? What's going on?" The acting was high school drama quality, with stiff wooden delivery, as though the actors were reading from cue cards without comprehending their lines. Their trouble delivering lines was made even more obvious by horrible sound design. ADR sounded like it was recorded in an open room. The actors were constantly taking obvious care to hit their marks, looking almost robotic in their movements. So, these listless automatons are whisked through a series of implausible and confusing scenarios, often without even the benefit of transition scenes. They were here, now they're there. This was happening, now that's happening. Random scenes with little rhyme or reason. I had a lot of fun watching it. Definitely not worth nine bucks though.

This guy was being nice with his review in order to make valid remarks. Unlike this other review for "House of the Dead"

IT SUCKS! I don't mean that it's so bad it's good, I mean it IS the ultimate low. This is as bad as "Ax 'Em"! My friend unwittingly bought this piece of garbage (not a compliment this time) and we stumbled into watching one of the most excruciating wastes of celluloid EVER! When hearing that Dave "Dead Hate the Living!" Parker was to write this, I figured he would provide the fulfillment to go with the ever-so-slight promise I believed I saw in him earlier on. Maybe it was or wasn't his screw-up, but this is just unbelievable. How horrid can a movie get? A dumbass with a video camera (sign of the artist!) makes self-referential quips about Romero films to let you know it's supposed to be a real, bona fide throwback. When various characters die, it's made to look as if they've lost a video game. See actual video game footage spliced into action scenes that make Ed Wood, Jr. look superior! And, no, it's not funny because IT IS THAT DAMN BAD. Everything about it, everything! What a shambles! And don't make the mistake of thinking getting high will help you enjoy it... we WASTED our high on this piece of slimy maggot excrement! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER ICON YOU PUT IN FRONT OF YOU OR THE LACK THEREOF, DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE! It WILL be a waste of your time and money. That is, unless you're even more into stubbing out hot ashes on your soul than I am! PLEASE! NO! BEWARE! AVOID AT ALL COSTS! IT'S JUST THAT BAD! IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME AND MY FRIEND, BUT NOT FOR YOU! NOOOOOOO......

Thats right, he used actual game footage (which consisted of zombies falling down from being shot in their pixelated glory) in the movie. Not out of nostalga and only once or twice, but I must have counted 15 clips in the period of 2 minutes. (How I managed to count while being exposed to this mind fucking I will never comprehend)

Hatred for this man has spawned many other anti-Boll sites.
http://www.uwebollsucks.com/
http://www.uwebollisantichrist.com/
And also many articles
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2649&p=
http://doafeatures.blogspot.com/2005/08 ... ector.html

Many ask "how does this guy get his money to continue making movies?" Well apparantly theres a loophole in german tax law he was exploiting. Which allowed for even complete utter failures which could hardly be called movies to still make a tax profit for investors. (The loophole will be closed in 2006) Unfortunatly, he has already bought the movie rights to Far Cry, Dungeon Siege, and Hunter: The Reckoning. He is currently in a bidding war for rights to Half Life and Metal Gear Solid.

This man must be stopped. I urge you all, to never, to hand over a single penny that he would profit from.

[kyoukan]

there is a tax loophole in germany. an investor that invests in a german film that loses money can write it off for some massive benefit. I heard the numbers once but they kind of went over my head. the point was to re-vitalize the german film industry by injecting a crapload of venture capitalist cash into it.

unfortunately for the german film industry, according to the government a german film is anything produced by a german production company. uwe boll owns his own production company, but mainly uses hollywood cast and crew, and often expensive filming locations. he also pays an incredible amount for a liscense, and he offers mainstream actors way over their hollywood worth to appear in his bombs. christian slater got paid something like 5 million to do AitD but he'd be lucky to get a quarter of a million these days (even though I love him as an actor).

the movies he makes are shit, don't even recover 10% of their cost, and investors are lined up around the corner to throw more money at him to make another turd. he's got something like 10 film projects lined up to come out in the next three years. uwe boll isnt the only german making over inflated stinkers either. pretty soon the third reich is going to have to take a back seat to their film industry as germany's largest antagonizer.

I'm not sure if Herr Boll is part of the scam or if he is an Ed Wood type character who thinks he is a misunderstood filmmaking genius. the way he talks and carries himself makes me think he is the latter. either way, it wont carry on for too much longer once zee germans realize how much tax revenue they are losing on this scam with little to negative cultural impact.

edit: okay so I didnt read your last paragraph before replying.

[Drasta]

is house of the dead the arcade video game where you shoot zombies? that game was fucking fun back in the day ...

[Leonaerd]

Unfortunatly, he has already bought the movie rights to Far Cry, Dungeon Siege, and Hunter: The Reckoning.

NOOOOOOOOOO! I don't care too much about Dungeon Seige or Hunter, but FAR CRY?! FUCK Ewe Boll!

is house of the dead the arcade video game where you shoot zombies? that game was fucking fun back in the day ...

Yes. It's very highly regarded.

[Aslanna]

Looks like Far Cry is next on his list and will start shooting soon. Look forward to the horror to be released sometime in 2008 probably (accordign to imdb).

Fango just got some details on the notorious Uwe Boll’s latest video-game-to-film translation, FAR CRY, based on the popular first-person-shooter game from Ubisoft. A coproduction of Boll KG and Brightlight Pictures, the movie toplines German star Til (KING ARTHUR) Schweiger (pictured) as Jack Carver, a boat captain who transports a pair of rival reporters to a Pacific Northwest island to check out reports of strange occurrences. Once there, they are nearly captured by a team of mercenaries, and one of the journos is killed in the melee. Jack wants to escape the island while Valerie, the surviving scribe, intends to continue her investigation, and they both wind up encountering deadly creatures before being captured by the beasts’ creator, Dr. Krieger. He wants Valerie to reveal his work to the world, and she and Jack are soon fighting to overcome the mad scientist, his creations and the merc to get off the island alive.

“I’m happy to be shooting a movie with Germany’s biggest star, Til Schweiger,” Boll says. “Til has three movies in Germany’s top 50 all-time box-office hit list, and is the only German actor who automatically opens a movie with a wide release.” Scripted by Michael Roesch and Peter Scheerer from Boll’s ALONE IN THE DARK, FAR CRY rolls in late June on Vancouver-area locations. —Michael Gingold

[Drinsic Darkwood]

A sad fate for Far Cry. I can only hope a crazed fan murders "Oovah" if he actually secures rights to the Metal Gear Solid saga.

[Kwonryu DragonFist]

I was honestly surprised by Alone in the Dark. It was so bad, I could hardly believe what I was seeing.

There are no characters, just a few stereotypes wandering around and getting killed. The extent of the character development was giving each character a name and an occupation, and that's about it.

There was no real plot, and none of the characters seemed to have any motivation. In fact, many action scenes just began on their own, coming from nowhere with a pounding techno track.

Is that really this game?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alone_in_t ... eo_game%29

I liked Alone in the Dark.

[Hesten]

You have gotta be kidding, you talking Far Cry, but totally missed his current masterpiece?
Uwe Boll are making Postal (yeah, dont ask me why, i dont seem to recall much plot in Postal, and nothing to make a movie off, but it looks like he managed to screw it up anyway):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KvR0Wkb ... ed&search=(trailer 1)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaNoQCok ... ed&search= (trailer 2)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnB6FEGO ... ed&search= (trailer 3)

If anyone can remind me where in Postal they had Bush, Bin Laden, terrorists, and stuff like that, im looking forward to the info

And its really sad that the developers actually sell the idiot the rights. I couldnt care less if Uwe Boll just made really bad C-movies from his money in that taxhole in germany, but its making really bad movies and then more or less trying to find a game title to slap on it that pisses me off.
Ill be happy the day he chokes on a brakwurst.