Women...jus a bit of language contained here
Moderator: TheMachine
- Adelrune Argenti
- Almost 1337
- Posts: 831
- Joined: July 9, 2002, 4:22 pm
- Location: San Diego, CA
[quote="Sunserae
OMFG somebody give this man a GOLD STAR!![/quote]
Well thank you. I learned all this through OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of arguments and from someone who was willing to work through all these types of issues. Although she is not a poster on this board, Estheria does read it infrequently when I send her links to things. She said that I am gonna get my "gold star" later tonight.
Woot
~
OMFG somebody give this man a GOLD STAR!![/quote]
Well thank you. I learned all this through OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of arguments and from someone who was willing to work through all these types of issues. Although she is not a poster on this board, Estheria does read it infrequently when I send her links to things. She said that I am gonna get my "gold star" later tonight.
Woot
~
Adelrune Argenti
- Drasta
- Way too much time!
- Posts: 1122
- Joined: July 4, 2002, 11:53 pm
- Location: A Wonderful Placed Called Marlyland
this is what i have learned about women ...
if there is a problem they won't tell you they will play the ...its nothing game and actually its something and u need to pick up on those subtile hints ... most women arn't the "hey you fucking retard im pissed at you because u didn't/did ____" thats just not them. they talk to their friends about it and get advice from them. listening to women is good don't interrupt them 500 times with what u think you should do until they say its ok
don't be insentive and uncaring because ...they will get pissed at you let em cry on your shoulder and tell them nice things they wanna hear remember women are emotional there gonna cry.
well thats just what i have seen since i hang out with a buncha girls and they tell me stuff considering my life style =-p oh and one more thing ... don't lie to them because they WILL find out.
oh yea voro !!!! i think im a little young for you sorry =-p
if there is a problem they won't tell you they will play the ...its nothing game and actually its something and u need to pick up on those subtile hints ... most women arn't the "hey you fucking retard im pissed at you because u didn't/did ____" thats just not them. they talk to their friends about it and get advice from them. listening to women is good don't interrupt them 500 times with what u think you should do until they say its ok
don't be insentive and uncaring because ...they will get pissed at you let em cry on your shoulder and tell them nice things they wanna hear remember women are emotional there gonna cry.
well thats just what i have seen since i hang out with a buncha girls and they tell me stuff considering my life style =-p oh and one more thing ... don't lie to them because they WILL find out.
oh yea voro !!!! i think im a little young for you sorry =-p
Punctuation is your friend.Drasta wrote:this is what i have learned about women ...
if there is a problem they won't tell you they will play the ...its nothing game and actually its something and u need to pick up on those subtile hints ... most women arn't the "hey you fucking retard im pissed at you because u didn't/did ____" thats just not them. they talk to their friends about it and get advice from them. listening to women is good don't interrupt them 500 times with what u think you should do until they say its ok
don't be insentive and uncaring because ...they will get pissed at you let em cry on your shoulder and tell them nice things they wanna hear remember women are emotional there gonna cry.
well thats just what i have seen since i hang out with a buncha girls and they tell me stuff considering my life style =-p oh and one more thing ... don't lie to them because they WILL find out.
oh yea voro !!!! i think im a little young for you sorry =-p
Most of what I could make from this post I found pretty offensive. Saying that one gender is more emotional than another is bullshit. Gender generalizations in general are bullshit. Not all females cry at the drop of a pin or play the "nothing's wrong" game. Some of us scream and hollar and and yell and let you know exactly what is wrong.
And I hate people who use tears as a means to get what they want. Simpering whiney females like that give the rest of us a bad rep - as evidenced particular by the above poster, but also be the general attitudes depicted in this thread.
Edit - One more thing. The statement about lying - I really think that should be universal, rather than gender specific.
Last edited by Sirensa on November 20, 2002, 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
If you are requiring the minimum age of a female to be "worth your trouble" to around 24-27... I can only surmise that the bulk of male would need to be a bit older than that to be worth the female's trouble
Of course I think it's fairly silly to try to come up with a specific age at which someone becomes relationship ready - it really depends both on experience and maturity level - as well as a variety of other individual factors.
One thing I know for certain, you won't learn about relationships by reading about them on a message board. Some things just require hands-on experience.

Of course I think it's fairly silly to try to come up with a specific age at which someone becomes relationship ready - it really depends both on experience and maturity level - as well as a variety of other individual factors.
One thing I know for certain, you won't learn about relationships by reading about them on a message board. Some things just require hands-on experience.
- Drasta
- Way too much time!
- Posts: 1122
- Joined: July 4, 2002, 11:53 pm
- Location: A Wonderful Placed Called Marlyland
heh thats how all the girls i know act sirensa =-p
i never said that girls cry at the drop of a pin either and yes they are more emotional then guys. yes some girls also are the dude im pissed at you because _____ i know more of the kind that don't confront the other person about the problem though until later and girls and tears don't work on me because well they have nothing i want so its useless im talkin about when there sad about somethin and crying about it because there upset not the if i cry im gonna get this stuff.
i never said that girls cry at the drop of a pin either and yes they are more emotional then guys. yes some girls also are the dude im pissed at you because _____ i know more of the kind that don't confront the other person about the problem though until later and girls and tears don't work on me because well they have nothing i want so its useless im talkin about when there sad about somethin and crying about it because there upset not the if i cry im gonna get this stuff.
Giving a specific age is not the best thing to do. It's a generalization for sure. Individuals can be worthwhile hence the "probably" in the quoted text.
It's not a slam. It's an observation on how relatationships progress while males and females try to sort out their focus or purpose in life after high school and through the college (or gas pumping) years.
I think Sk8r Boi song was written about this: (actually it only semi relates but I felt like posting some lyrics : )
Sk8tr Boi- Avril Lavigne
He was a boi, she was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk, she did ballet
What more can I say?
He wanted her, she'd never tell
Secretly she wanted him as well
All of her friends stuck up their nose
They had a problem with his baggy clothes
He was a sk8tr boi
She said see ya later boi
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face
But her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth
Five years from now
She sits at home
Feeding the baby she's all alone
She turns on TV
Guess who she sees?
Sk8tr boi rockin' up MTV
She calls up her friends
They already know
And they all got tickets to see his show
She tags along
Stands in the crowd
Looks up at the man she turned down
He was a sk8tr boi
She said see ya later boi
He wasn't good enought for her
Now he's a superstar
Slammin' on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?
Sorry girl, you missed out
Tough luck, that boi's mine now
We are more than good friends
This is how the story ends
Too bad you couldn't see
See the man that boi could be
There is more than meets the eye
I see the soul that is inside
He's just a boi
And I'm just a girl
Can I make it more obvious?
We are in love
Havn't you heard?
How we rock each other's world!
I'm with the sk8tr boi
I said see ya later boi
I'll be backstage after the show
I'll be out in the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About the girl you used to know
It's not a slam. It's an observation on how relatationships progress while males and females try to sort out their focus or purpose in life after high school and through the college (or gas pumping) years.
I think Sk8r Boi song was written about this: (actually it only semi relates but I felt like posting some lyrics : )
Sk8tr Boi- Avril Lavigne
He was a boi, she was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk, she did ballet
What more can I say?
He wanted her, she'd never tell
Secretly she wanted him as well
All of her friends stuck up their nose
They had a problem with his baggy clothes
He was a sk8tr boi
She said see ya later boi
He wasn't good enough for her
She had a pretty face
But her head was up in space
She needed to come back down to earth
Five years from now
She sits at home
Feeding the baby she's all alone
She turns on TV
Guess who she sees?
Sk8tr boi rockin' up MTV
She calls up her friends
They already know
And they all got tickets to see his show
She tags along
Stands in the crowd
Looks up at the man she turned down
He was a sk8tr boi
She said see ya later boi
He wasn't good enought for her
Now he's a superstar
Slammin' on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?
Sorry girl, you missed out
Tough luck, that boi's mine now
We are more than good friends
This is how the story ends
Too bad you couldn't see
See the man that boi could be
There is more than meets the eye
I see the soul that is inside
He's just a boi
And I'm just a girl
Can I make it more obvious?
We are in love
Havn't you heard?
How we rock each other's world!
I'm with the sk8tr boi
I said see ya later boi
I'll be backstage after the show
I'll be out in the studio
Singing the song we wrote
About the girl you used to know
- Lalanae
- Way too much time!
- Posts: 3309
- Joined: September 25, 2002, 11:21 pm
- Location: Texas
- Contact:
In case you missed that Drasta....Sirensa wrote: Punctuation is your friend.
(and /applaud Sirensa for the rest of your post!

Lalanae
Burundi High Chancellor for Tourism, Sodomy and Pie
Unofficial Canadian, Forbidden Lover of Pie, Jesus-Hatin'' Sodomite, President of KFC (Kyoukan Fan Club), hawt, perververted, intellectual submissive with E.S.P (Extra Sexual Persuasion)
Burundi High Chancellor for Tourism, Sodomy and Pie
Unofficial Canadian, Forbidden Lover of Pie, Jesus-Hatin'' Sodomite, President of KFC (Kyoukan Fan Club), hawt, perververted, intellectual submissive with E.S.P (Extra Sexual Persuasion)
Bok! It's not that bad : ) Give me a song from another teeny bopper artist with better lyrics and we'll compare. I used the lyrics from someone that's in the age range I was referring to as an example.
The song may not be great but it contains the wishy washy, peer pressured, influenced young indecision making that was being discussed.

The song may not be great but it contains the wishy washy, peer pressured, influenced young indecision making that was being discussed.

Yes the lyrics are relevant...you did well there. I still hate the song though. And I generally hate 'teeny bopper artists' as well. Granted, they all have to start somewhere...and I give them a shot...but I'm always disappointed.
You have to be mature enough to take care of yourself before you can even think of handling a relationship. And that's not as simple of a task as it may sound.
the wishy washy-peer pressuered-influence driven mess is what I'm referring to. That's nothing but trouble.
But, i'm not the world's foremost expert on the matter, obviously.
You have to be mature enough to take care of yourself before you can even think of handling a relationship. And that's not as simple of a task as it may sound.
the wishy washy-peer pressuered-influence driven mess is what I'm referring to. That's nothing but trouble.
But, i'm not the world's foremost expert on the matter, obviously.
grats attention whore!
iirc Fumita is around 15, so I suspect the magnitude of the argument was something on the order of it being his turn to ride on the handlebars, and he refused.
That being said, IMHO, you have far too much time yet to go before becoming so dramatic about your issues, but congratulations on the attention anyway!
In closing, go have a cookie, and chill out...power rangers will be coming on soon.
That being said, IMHO, you have far too much time yet to go before becoming so dramatic about your issues, but congratulations on the attention anyway!
In closing, go have a cookie, and chill out...power rangers will be coming on soon.
~Venti
ahh problem solved, yes I did talk to many different close friends women and men alike, my closest friends are 20-23 the oldest bein a man like a bro to me. Venti ur a couple years off but keep tryin man, u know I never did hear anything positive from u. As for the argument it was prolly a pointless argument that 2 people who haven't slept much lately would have. It hit so many different subjects that all opinions flew. Prolly wasn't too great that each of us interrupted the other every 2 sec before a thought could be expressed. THe post wasn't meant to offend women its just no matter what you can never understand women b/c they do change constantly no matter what. Normally I don't get worked up about things but lifes been stressful lately and venting was takin out between my g/f and I and my friends heh. things will be fine, altho the "I feel" thing she never did pull, all she kept saying was she was happy. anyways ty for all the comments. Just needed a non rl source to vent to as well heh..to clear it up it was nothing to do w/ anything sexually , so throw all ur dirty minds back into the gutter
and its oversimplified b/c I don't feel the need to explain all the specifics, like some1 said goto close rl friends for that correct?

Last edited by Fumita on November 20, 2002, 9:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Master Fumita Fyreblaze
65th Prestidigitator of Fiends
65th Prestidigitator of Fiends
Why I'd be happy to translate!Aranuil wrote:Someone wanna translate that?
He and his GF got into a fight that drudged up just about every nasty vile thing it could.
He doesn't want to share the details with us - except to say it wasn't about sex.
Veeshanvaulters all have their minds in the gutters.
- noel
- Super Poster!
- Posts: 10003
- Joined: August 22, 2002, 1:34 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Calabasas, CA
First of all, THAT'S NOT SHORTHAND.Fumita wrote:I type quicker in shorthand. Complete paragraphs and full words takes time. time = money
Second, you are too young to have a concept of the kind of money that is equal to time.
Third, you're just fucking lazy. If you want any respect in a written forum, learn not to be.
Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
- Arborealus
- Way too much time!
- Posts: 3417
- Joined: September 21, 2002, 5:36 am
- Contact:
Fumita whines:
1) Looking for attention/pity on internet game message boards.
2) Seek approval, or positive stroking on internet game message boards.
3) Look to me as your guiding light of inspiration.
After examination of the above guideline I offer, please re-examine my lack of interest in patting you on the back or offering you a life-saver.
While this breaks my heart to hear, I submit the following for your perusal. Those seeking positive reinforcement should probably refrain from the following:Venti ur a couple years off but keep tryin man, u know I never did hear anything positive from u.
1) Looking for attention/pity on internet game message boards.
2) Seek approval, or positive stroking on internet game message boards.
3) Look to me as your guiding light of inspiration.
After examination of the above guideline I offer, please re-examine my lack of interest in patting you on the back or offering you a life-saver.
~Venti
1. Attention, I never thought this would get this many hits. Was it a mistake probably but then its done now
2. I seek no approval.
3. I need not comment on that. You were once a brother, but since we last spoke you definately are not the man you once were. Now we can argue all day and night but there is no need.
Flame what you want, most likely this should not have been posted, but then again it does give you all something to talk about, gets ideas popping around. A solution has been reached. Nothing needs to be worried about.
2. I seek no approval.
3. I need not comment on that. You were once a brother, but since we last spoke you definately are not the man you once were. Now we can argue all day and night but there is no need.
Flame what you want, most likely this should not have been posted, but then again it does give you all something to talk about, gets ideas popping around. A solution has been reached. Nothing needs to be worried about.
Master Fumita Fyreblaze
65th Prestidigitator of Fiends
65th Prestidigitator of Fiends
- noel
- Super Poster!
- Posts: 10003
- Joined: August 22, 2002, 1:34 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Calabasas, CA
Wow, you listened.Fumita wrote:1. Attention, I never thought this would get this many hits. Was it a mistake probably but then its done now
2. I seek no approval.
3. I need not comment on that. You were once a brother, but since we last spoke you definately are not the man you once were. Now we can argue all day and night but there is no need.
Flame what you want, most likely this should not have been posted, but then again it does give you all something to talk about, gets ideas popping around. A solution has been reached. Nothing needs to be worried about.

If you always post like that, you'll have no issue from me.


Last edited by noel on November 20, 2002, 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
- Adelrune Argenti
- Almost 1337
- Posts: 831
- Joined: July 9, 2002, 4:22 pm
- Location: San Diego, CA
Fumita,
I am, in fact the same, mostly insensitive and brutally up front person Ive always been. You didnt see it much while you were guilded with me, as you didnt raid / play at the same time I did.
The only difference from the time we were in THF together to now, is that it would have been frowned upon by the majority of your peers if I called you out directly on being an asstasticly whining, only show up to raids that benefit you, mediocre type player that you were.
Other than that small difference, Im about the same. Congratulations on the most improved sentence structure of the thread though!
I am, in fact the same, mostly insensitive and brutally up front person Ive always been. You didnt see it much while you were guilded with me, as you didnt raid / play at the same time I did.
The only difference from the time we were in THF together to now, is that it would have been frowned upon by the majority of your peers if I called you out directly on being an asstasticly whining, only show up to raids that benefit you, mediocre type player that you were.
Other than that small difference, Im about the same. Congratulations on the most improved sentence structure of the thread though!
~Venti
Tanc..
Havent gotten any What men need to know, or what women need to know emails..But..I got this guide that may come of use to whoever posted his flame about women...
Its long..and honestly I got bored so i didnt finish reading it.
Anyhow..here!~
Consumer's Guide to Girlfriends
Well it's been almost 20 years since Consumer's Reports reviewed girlfriends
(CR, Aug 1972). Since then, styles have changed, new features have been
introduced, and the market for girlfriends has changed substantially. So
we here at CU decided another report was needed.
As in a car or a computer, you should ask yourself what you need a girlfriend
for before obtaining one. This will, in large part, dictate the final
product which you should consider. Do you want an intellectual companion?
A baby factory? A hiking partner? Or just lots of good, old-fashioned whoopee?
Identifying your needs is the first, and most important, step in selecting
a girl- friend.
The second question which needs to be addressed is, of course, how much you
are able to spend. This is largely determined by your physical and personal
characteristics--if you are good looking, have a commanding personality and
a good sense of humor, you will have the resources to obtain a fancy,
high-end model. On the other hand, if you are ugly, smell bad, and wear
polyester clothes, your choices are more limited. Keep your purchasing power
in mind when considering your selection. Although the salesman will tell you
that a girlfriend can be financed, CU does not reccommend this practice;
due to inflating expectations, the required monetary outlay will actually
*increase* with time.
Used vs. New?
--- -------------
A question many girlfriend seekers have to address is whether to get a new or
a used girlfriend. The answer to this question will, roughly speaking, be
determined by your age, as shown in the following table:
Your age Used or New
-- -------- --- -----------
1-12 years (see note A)
13-16 years New
17-21 years Used, but not used up
22-35 years Used heavily
35-60 years New (see note B)
60+ (see note A)
Notes:
A: Seek psychiatric help
B: Only "new" if income $100,000/year. Otherwise, "divorced".
New girlfriends have the advantage that they have no previous bad experiences
to project on you, but the disadvantage that they will rarely be old enough
to open their own checking account. Used girlfriends, on the other hand, may
be steady, reliable performers, with the initial problems worked out, but CU
advises that you avoid models which have much more than average mileage
(2.1 SO's/yr). Much greater than the average may be an indication that the
girlfriend was a professional.
Accessories
-- ----- -----------
Often the potential girlfriends you see on the lot or in a tavern will be
loaded with accessories, as the dealer gets a high markup on such items as
large bosom, long legs, green eyes, etc. Other accessories will only appeal
to fringe markets, such as models which come pre-equipped with children, or
the ability to run 10 miles while chanting sanskrit. In such cases you should
make a list of accessories desired, tolerated, and disliked. Note that some
accessories (such as children) can be added later, while others (such as a
large bosom) must be factory installed.
The Test Ride
-- ----- -------------
When evaluating a girlfriend, a test ride is essential. The test ride ritual
begins with the so-called "pickup line", which can range from the simple if
dull ("Can I buy you a drink?") to the aggressively hip ("dance with me or
I'll kill you") (I think Wells has used this one) the arcane ("You're my
Camus comrade, and I want to leap you, Faith!"). CU rates as Not Acceptable
"Smile, you'll look better." Once on the test bed, evaluate handling,
stability, and acceleration. The two questions you want to answer are: how
fast, and how far? Examine the detailing. Does the bosom sag? Does the
heater warm adequately, or does she remain cool?
Ordering vs. On-The-Lot
---- -----------------------
Finding the right girlfriend can be a frustrating experience, and many
potential customers find it hard to get the exact model and accessories
wanted. In such cases ordering from the factory is an option. Delivery time,
however, is from 14 to 16 years (depending on the state you live in), and CU
questions the usefulness of such a practice: if you have access to the baby
factory, you should reconsider your need for a girlfriend anyway.
Methodology
--- -----------
Girlfriends were evaluated by a dedicated group of 10 test engineers, selected
to typify the average seeking population. All tests were performed at CU's
specially constructed test facility, which included a bedroom, kitchen, and
living room, and at a number of bars and taverns surrounding the facility.
A series of seven tests were run, evaluating each product according to the
following criterion:
intelligence, wit, humor, empathy, initiative, looks, and performance.
Results
- -------
Girlfriends are grouped together in catagories by similarity.
Within each catagory, variation is not statistically significant.
Goddess: This is the woman of your dreams. She comes equipped with
all the options you want and none of the ones you don't. She
can argue subtle points of philosophy, give you a stiff game
of raquetball, understand what you mean even if you don't
say it, and break a bed. No mental or physical hangups.
The drawback is that this model is not actually available.
Goddess-in-law: This model is similar to the goddess,
but comes with contractual retainers, such as a psychotic ex-husband,
a spiteful mother, an alchololic father, and a bratty kid.
This model tends to generate grey hairs.
Ms. Right: The best all-around choice for most girlfriend situations.
Has most of the characteristics of the Goddess except
possibly in the wrong size or hair color. Other than that,
an excellent long-term investment. Availability is extremely
limited but can occasionally be found with luck.
The Babe: This is the flashy, fully-loaded variety with all the
options. Unfortunately this model lacks cognitive powers
and empathy. Showy, and suitable for a parade or for
impressing your friends, but not for your long-term
girlfriend needs.
The Friend: The model with the most empathy. Caring and kind but
you wouldn't be caught dead in it. Availibility is poor to fair,
depending on quality.
The Ford Escort of girlfriends: Widely available, but useful as
a girlfriend only in a pinch, if no others are available.
Tends to be spiteful or unreliable, or have a dull finish.
Its long..and honestly I got bored so i didnt finish reading it.
Anyhow..here!~
Consumer's Guide to Girlfriends
Well it's been almost 20 years since Consumer's Reports reviewed girlfriends
(CR, Aug 1972). Since then, styles have changed, new features have been
introduced, and the market for girlfriends has changed substantially. So
we here at CU decided another report was needed.
As in a car or a computer, you should ask yourself what you need a girlfriend
for before obtaining one. This will, in large part, dictate the final
product which you should consider. Do you want an intellectual companion?
A baby factory? A hiking partner? Or just lots of good, old-fashioned whoopee?
Identifying your needs is the first, and most important, step in selecting
a girl- friend.
The second question which needs to be addressed is, of course, how much you
are able to spend. This is largely determined by your physical and personal
characteristics--if you are good looking, have a commanding personality and
a good sense of humor, you will have the resources to obtain a fancy,
high-end model. On the other hand, if you are ugly, smell bad, and wear
polyester clothes, your choices are more limited. Keep your purchasing power
in mind when considering your selection. Although the salesman will tell you
that a girlfriend can be financed, CU does not reccommend this practice;
due to inflating expectations, the required monetary outlay will actually
*increase* with time.
Used vs. New?
--- -------------
A question many girlfriend seekers have to address is whether to get a new or
a used girlfriend. The answer to this question will, roughly speaking, be
determined by your age, as shown in the following table:
Your age Used or New
-- -------- --- -----------
1-12 years (see note A)
13-16 years New
17-21 years Used, but not used up
22-35 years Used heavily
35-60 years New (see note B)
60+ (see note A)
Notes:
A: Seek psychiatric help
B: Only "new" if income $100,000/year. Otherwise, "divorced".
New girlfriends have the advantage that they have no previous bad experiences
to project on you, but the disadvantage that they will rarely be old enough
to open their own checking account. Used girlfriends, on the other hand, may
be steady, reliable performers, with the initial problems worked out, but CU
advises that you avoid models which have much more than average mileage
(2.1 SO's/yr). Much greater than the average may be an indication that the
girlfriend was a professional.
Accessories
-- ----- -----------
Often the potential girlfriends you see on the lot or in a tavern will be
loaded with accessories, as the dealer gets a high markup on such items as
large bosom, long legs, green eyes, etc. Other accessories will only appeal
to fringe markets, such as models which come pre-equipped with children, or
the ability to run 10 miles while chanting sanskrit. In such cases you should
make a list of accessories desired, tolerated, and disliked. Note that some
accessories (such as children) can be added later, while others (such as a
large bosom) must be factory installed.
The Test Ride
-- ----- -------------
When evaluating a girlfriend, a test ride is essential. The test ride ritual
begins with the so-called "pickup line", which can range from the simple if
dull ("Can I buy you a drink?") to the aggressively hip ("dance with me or
I'll kill you") (I think Wells has used this one) the arcane ("You're my
Camus comrade, and I want to leap you, Faith!"). CU rates as Not Acceptable
"Smile, you'll look better." Once on the test bed, evaluate handling,
stability, and acceleration. The two questions you want to answer are: how
fast, and how far? Examine the detailing. Does the bosom sag? Does the
heater warm adequately, or does she remain cool?
Ordering vs. On-The-Lot
---- -----------------------
Finding the right girlfriend can be a frustrating experience, and many
potential customers find it hard to get the exact model and accessories
wanted. In such cases ordering from the factory is an option. Delivery time,
however, is from 14 to 16 years (depending on the state you live in), and CU
questions the usefulness of such a practice: if you have access to the baby
factory, you should reconsider your need for a girlfriend anyway.
Methodology
--- -----------
Girlfriends were evaluated by a dedicated group of 10 test engineers, selected
to typify the average seeking population. All tests were performed at CU's
specially constructed test facility, which included a bedroom, kitchen, and
living room, and at a number of bars and taverns surrounding the facility.
A series of seven tests were run, evaluating each product according to the
following criterion:
intelligence, wit, humor, empathy, initiative, looks, and performance.
Results
- -------
Girlfriends are grouped together in catagories by similarity.
Within each catagory, variation is not statistically significant.
Goddess: This is the woman of your dreams. She comes equipped with
all the options you want and none of the ones you don't. She
can argue subtle points of philosophy, give you a stiff game
of raquetball, understand what you mean even if you don't
say it, and break a bed. No mental or physical hangups.
The drawback is that this model is not actually available.
Goddess-in-law: This model is similar to the goddess,
but comes with contractual retainers, such as a psychotic ex-husband,
a spiteful mother, an alchololic father, and a bratty kid.
This model tends to generate grey hairs.
Ms. Right: The best all-around choice for most girlfriend situations.
Has most of the characteristics of the Goddess except
possibly in the wrong size or hair color. Other than that,
an excellent long-term investment. Availability is extremely
limited but can occasionally be found with luck.
The Babe: This is the flashy, fully-loaded variety with all the
options. Unfortunately this model lacks cognitive powers
and empathy. Showy, and suitable for a parade or for
impressing your friends, but not for your long-term
girlfriend needs.
The Friend: The model with the most empathy. Caring and kind but
you wouldn't be caught dead in it. Availibility is poor to fair,
depending on quality.
The Ford Escort of girlfriends: Widely available, but useful as
a girlfriend only in a pinch, if no others are available.
Tends to be spiteful or unreliable, or have a dull finish.
Writing is about communicating with your readers. It's about getting a point through to them as clearly and effectively as possible. If you're not succeeding (and trust me, you're not), then why bother writing at all?Fumita wrote:I type quicker in shorthand. Complete paragraphs and full words takes time. time = money
If time truly is money for you, you shouldn't be wasting ANY time posting here. After all, no one's going to bother reading what you write.
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- No Stars!
- Posts: 48
- Joined: July 7, 2002, 3:30 am
- Location: San Jose, CA
- Drolgin Steingrinder
- Way too much time!
- Posts: 3510
- Joined: July 3, 2002, 5:28 pm
- Gender: Male
- PSN ID: Drolgin
- Location: Århus, Denmark
- Aireanna Wyndcather
- Gets Around
- Posts: 58
- Joined: October 2, 2002, 2:18 pm
- Location: Columbus, Ohio
- Contact:
I had a boyfriend that was a real asshole. Keep in mind, we just broke up 2 months ago because I couldnt handle it anymore. I learned never to cry in front of him because all he would do was belittle me and emotionally abuse me. I hid my emotions and never ever told him I was mad at him. So from that relationship, I think maybe some of the problem is not just women. Maybe its also the mens fault for relationships turning bad. Some men can just me complete dicks and dont show any emotion towards anything. That leads to problems. Oh and for the range of ages you guys gave for knowing what a woman wanted, Im 19 and I sure as hell know what I want from someone of the male species. 

- noel
- Super Poster!
- Posts: 10003
- Joined: August 22, 2002, 1:34 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Calabasas, CA
Oh obviously. That's why your last relationship lasted long enough for him to do all of those things.Aireanna Wyndcather wrote:Oh and for the range of ages you guys gave for knowing what a woman wanted, Im 19 and I sure as hell know what I want from someone of the male species.
Sorry, I disagree. What you think you want now, at 19, will have changed at least 7 times by the time you're 24. Take that to the bank.
Edit: Seriously though, props to you for leaving him. Please keep all of us apprised of your next relationship every step of the way, kthx.

Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
- Arborealus
- Way too much time!
- Posts: 3417
- Joined: September 21, 2002, 5:36 am
- Contact:
Hrmmmm ya know I think as we grow older we just become more sure of what we don't want...not necessarily more sure of what we do want...Aranuil wrote:Oh obviously. That's why your last relationship lasted long enough for him to do all of those things.Aireanna Wyndcather wrote:Oh and for the range of ages you guys gave for knowing what a woman wanted, Im 19 and I sure as hell know what I want from someone of the male species.
Sorry, I disagree. What you think you want now, at 19, will have changed at least 7 times by the time you're 24. Take that to the bank.
Edit: Seriously though, props to you for leaving him. Please keep all of us apprised of your next relationship every step of the way, kthx.

- Aireanna Wyndcather
- Gets Around
- Posts: 58
- Joined: October 2, 2002, 2:18 pm
- Location: Columbus, Ohio
- Contact:
Aranuil. No need to be a complete dick. I was just stating that maybe its not always women who are the problem. And the reason I did stay with him is none of your fucking business because its my life and not yours. And I am damn sure I know what I dont want. Anything that even remotely represents the aspects of you. Go fuck yourself kplzthnx.
- noel
- Super Poster!
- Posts: 10003
- Joined: August 22, 2002, 1:34 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Calabasas, CA
Do you like apples?Aireanna Wyndcather wrote:Aranuil. No need to be a complete dick. I was just stating that maybe its not always women who are the problem. And the reason I did stay with him is none of your fucking business because its my life and not yours. And I am damn sure I know what I dont want. Anything that even remotely represents the aspects of you. Go fuck yourself kplzthnx.
I give you a lot of credit for attempting to form a complete thought. The fact that you failed shouldn't deter you as I'm sure you'll have ample opportunity to make a fool of yourself in the future before you finally master the written word.
I don't recall anyone on this thread saying, 'it's always the womans fault' or anything even remotely similar. Frankly, I think your average guy is a fucking asshole who is far too complacent, and unattentive to even be in a relationship. To post a bunch of personal shit that none of us give a shit about anyway, and then to say that the reason you stayed is 'none of my business' is some rich, rich comedy. Keep the laughs coming.
You don't want me? You couldn't have me. I date all kinds of girls, but stupid bitches who allow themselves to be walked all over need not apply. That leaves you out. Take a picture it will last longer.
Going to go jerk off now... just for you. How do you like THOSE apples?
Last edited by noel on November 21, 2002, 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
- noel
- Super Poster!
- Posts: 10003
- Joined: August 22, 2002, 1:34 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Calabasas, CA
Mess with the bull...Toshira wrote:No reason to belittle her. Ever remember eating at the "little kids" table when you were the oldest one at it at the family gathering?
Don't force advice or life's tautologies on people who aren't asking. Some things people just need to live through. Let them.
Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
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- No Stars!
- Posts: 1
- Joined: November 21, 2002, 8:46 pm
- noel
- Super Poster!
- Posts: 10003
- Joined: August 22, 2002, 1:34 am
- Gender: Male
- Location: Calabasas, CA
Jackass?
Edit: For the record, not only am I not mean, I'm a perfect gentleman whenever I'm with a woman... Full time.
I treat women like equals, not like second class citizens. I listen, am attentive to their problems/concerns, and I like a woman with an opinion. I don't abuse women, verbally or otherwise, and I despise those that do.
Edit: For the record, not only am I not mean, I'm a perfect gentleman whenever I'm with a woman... Full time.
I treat women like equals, not like second class citizens. I listen, am attentive to their problems/concerns, and I like a woman with an opinion. I don't abuse women, verbally or otherwise, and I despise those that do.
Last edited by noel on November 21, 2002, 9:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, my God; I care so little, I almost passed out.
- Aireanna Wyndcather
- Gets Around
- Posts: 58
- Joined: October 2, 2002, 2:18 pm
- Location: Columbus, Ohio
- Contact: