Sooooo wrong . . . .

ooloof · Post by **ooloof** » April 7, 2005, 7:12 pm

Stolen here

but interesting and hilarious

-- Discuss

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

Ebumar · Post by **Ebumar** » April 7, 2005, 7:23 pm

omfg ooloof how you doing dude?

ooloof · Post by **ooloof** » April 7, 2005, 7:32 pm

Heya Ebu

- stuck at work atm still

, other than that - all good

Ebumar · Post by **Ebumar** » April 7, 2005, 7:41 pm

come to IRC, its where all us leet people "work" at...

ooloof · Post by **ooloof** » April 7, 2005, 7:46 pm

Where at?

Ebumar · Post by **Ebumar** » April 7, 2005, 7:51 pm

irc.veeshanvault.org

#vv

Sionistic · Post by **Sionistic** » April 7, 2005, 10:34 pm

Im about 5'9, so I think i could take 10

Lohrno · Post by **Lohrno** » April 7, 2005, 10:39 pm

I think 4....

5 year olds obviously are weaker, but I wouldn't underestimate them...

Lynks · Post by **Lynks** » April 8, 2005, 8:07 am

I dont know. If I could get a hold of a skinny kid and use him as a club to beat other ones, I think I could take on 20.

One would alos have to unleash the beast inside and go apeshit on those little fuckers.

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » April 8, 2005, 5:32 pm

800392
JUDOCHOP

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » April 8, 2005, 11:35 pm

At the start, you'd think every punch/kick you throw would drop a child. I'd say a good 20 would be doable just while standing. I mean, there comes a point where even if there were 50 of them, only so many would be able to be on you at the same time. From there, it's going to the ground and concentrating on one child at a time, slowly choking them out while trying the best to protect yourself. I'd probably use whomever I was choking out as a shield as much as I could. Even on the ground, a fast elbow here or there would inflict major dmg on a 5 yr old. Children have such small hands, they could not effectively grip any part of a man to hold back punches or kicks.

I think 35-40 would be a good figure, but I honestly think stamina would be the only thing to do me in.

Rivera Bladestrike · Post by **Rivera Bladestrike** » April 8, 2005, 11:53 pm

You have to consider biting... 5 children biting you could do some damage. Then again a spinning kick to their faces would surely hurt... The idea would be to try to keep the children a few feet away and use as many spinning moves as possible. Possibly grab one of the smaller ones and hurl him at a crowd of them...

Being a 6'2 200 guy with martial arts training, I could probably take 40 of them... But I would imagine I would be heavily bitten and my balls would take a beating, since they are on eye level with a 5 year old.

I would imagine I'd kill a few of them... if I was really trying i could break one of their necks and use their lifeless body as a shield and a weapon at the same time... maybe wrap a body around my crotch like a diaper to not expose the junk... too bad we don't have 40 5 year olds that no one cared about to test this...

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » April 9, 2005, 12:02 am

You are issued a cup for the fight, no need to drape children over your crotch Mr. Jackson!

Nilaman · Post by **Nilaman** » April 9, 2005, 12:02 am

Says you can use a cup!

Rivera Bladestrike · Post by **Rivera Bladestrike** » April 9, 2005, 12:10 am

My bad, the cup is adds my count up at least 10-15

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » April 9, 2005, 1:29 am

Considering this is fucked in the head, so I changed it to zombies of 5 year olds who are flesh eating, and have the smae strengths and vulnerabilities of a 5 year old american child.

I could handle 200+ but eventually sheer exhaustion would overcome anyone.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » April 9, 2005, 3:49 am

I think the key would be to grab one leg of two different kids, one in each hand to keep your balance and then swing them around like a whirling dervish. You'd have to have enough strength to plow through them like a weed-eater with the two kids knocking the other kids coming at you out of the basketball court.

Tinkin Tankem · Post by **Tinkin Tankem** » April 9, 2005, 9:17 am

I have 4 younger brothers... I'm pretty sure you'd run out of five year olds first!