Circus Peanuts... WTF?!?!?

Claritin-CT · Post by **Claritin-CT** » November 18, 2002, 6:00 pm

Anyways I went to the little shop downstairs to grab a snack... looked around a bit longer than usual... and there they were.

The little orange monstrosities that are shaped and referred to ironically as "peanuts" yet taste nothing like peanuts... and are not made from a by-product of the peanut.. nor are they peanut color.

Ingredents : Sugar, Corn Syrup, Gelatin, Pectin, Artifical Flavor (ass flavor.. very rare to find in nature so we had to make it ourselves), color added (includes Red #3, yellow #6, Yellow #5).

I have yet to meet someone that actually eats these god-forsaken-pieces-of-ass-flavored-delight.... yet they continue to exist... and not only do they exist... they are shipped all over the USA by complex mass-distribution methods.

There are several distributors of the "peanuts"... it's not all the same guys selling the crap.

So the question is... if no one eats it.. several people sell it and take great means to place it all over this planet... there has to be SOME PURPOSE for it to be occuring.

So the question is... what were they created to do?

My theory is this :

Circus peanuts are toxic. In small doses your fine... but if eaten in bulk (AKA more than one if you can stomach it) you will probably die. Therefore explaining why I have never run into any people that eat these things... and explaining thier creation as a device for population control. They are distributed by the government under names of many false distributors... the fact that the profit margins are low doesn't matter because profit is not the goal... population reduction is.

I am open to suggestions... anyone else have a theory?

Corona · Post by **Corona** » November 18, 2002, 6:18 pm

I think Charlton Heston discovered these before, only they went under a different name back then...

Soylent Green

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » November 18, 2002, 6:24 pm

Soon they'll be breeding us like cattle! You've got to warn everyone and tell them! Soylent green is made of people! You've got to tell them! Soylent green is people!

Sirensa · Post by **Sirensa** » November 18, 2002, 6:25 pm

Some packing peanuts are made out of rice. And are probably more edible than the peanuts you described above.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » November 18, 2002, 6:31 pm

Are you talking about those spongy things? They look like they've were made with caulk and have waffle marks in them to emulate a peanut shell?

If not, have no clue what you're talking about. Maybe post a pic from somewhere?

Claritin-CT · Post by **Claritin-CT** » November 18, 2002, 6:50 pm

Yes Lalanae those caulk looking things.

and I completely agree with Sirensa the peanuts used as packing material that are made from corn or rice starch and puffed up probably taste better... as does the cardboard box used to pack it all up also... and hopefully it it is electronic equipment they will cover the whole object that was mailed to you inside the box that you ate buffered by the rice starch peanuts you ate in a plastic bag to protect against rain. You can use that plastic bag to suffocate yourself if anyone tries to force you to eat a circus peanut.

Lalanae · Post by **Lalanae** » November 18, 2002, 6:54 pm

Yeah, those things are ass. Reminds me of those marshmallow bunnies you see at Easter. You know, the ones you throw over your shoulder while digging through your easter basket looking for chocolate?

Then there's stuff like Ribbon candy. Anyone see the Simpsons where Bart does some odd jobs for some old bat and she offers him ribbon candy and its all glued together in the candy dish? That was sooo my grandma...

There are some nasty candies out there. Who the hell eats em?

Claritin-CT · Post by **Claritin-CT** » November 18, 2002, 6:56 pm

The peanuts in the picture above are from "Family sweets"... my peanuts I have at my desk are from "Bloomer Candy Co." (I have purchased them so I can later taunt a fellow employee who hates them even more than me... I will stash them around his desk when he leaves here later so the putrid oder can assult him in the morning.)

Anyways... Ironically these peanuts are made in Zanesville Ohio.... which is pretty damn close to my nephew Pottamina's house. (yeah out in BFE... he hates it there)

Now there is a real foul odor near his house... they claim it is the manufacturing plant called "smurf-it stone" which sounds like a really pissed off handy smurf after bashing the F outta his hand with his gay little hammer.... but I have to think that the odor is now coming from this circus peanut factory like 30-60 mins away.....

Adelrune Argenti · Post by **Adelrune Argenti** » November 18, 2002, 6:58 pm

Hey, Marshmallow Peeps rule. Those little chickie things for Easter. I cant eat more than 2 of them or I go into a serious sugar overdose but they are tasty.

~

Claritin-CT · Post by **Claritin-CT** » November 18, 2002, 7:07 pm

!!!!You could not possibly be talking of the marshmellow peeps!!!!

Marshmellow peeps rule... they have like the highest sugar content of anything out there besides cotton candy and pixie sticks! They come in almost every color imaginable.

Anyways... for halloween my wife bought like a 5 lb bag of what they call "peanut butter kisses"... they are the terrible candy that is like chewy peanut butter that comes in the black and orange wax papers that is the consistancy and flavor of road tar.... she loves them... I picked reese's cups and sweetarts... she didn't answer the door.. and I felt guilt so I gave away all the reese's cup and sweetarts and I am stuck with 5 lbs of this peanut-tar.

Bit-O-Honey ranks on this list also.

Sylvos · Post by **Sylvos** » November 18, 2002, 7:17 pm

Circus Peanuts make me not wear pants.

VeeshanVault

Circus Peanuts... WTF?!?!?

Circus Peanuts... WTF?!?!?

Yes

Forgot to mention....

Marshmellow bunnies.