Oh how I love UPS

[Drolgin Steingrinder]

Status: In Transit
Shipped to: COPENHAGEN, DK
Shipped or Billed on: Oct 21, 2002

Tracking Number: ###########
Service Type: EXPRESS
Weight: 1.20 Lbs




PACKAGE PROGRESS
Date Time Location Activity
Oct 23, 2002 7:23 A.M. KOELN (COLOGNE), DE HUB SCAN
Oct 22, 2002 11:12 P.M. GLOSTRUP, COPENHAGEN, DK IMPORT SCAN
5:12 P.M. KOELN (COLOGNE), DE HUB SCAN
5:04 P.M. KOELN (COLOGNE), DE HUB SCAN
1:43 P.M. GLOSTRUP, COPENHAGEN, DK VALID TAX NUMBER REQUIRED FOR CLEARANCE;SHIPMENT SUBMITTED TO CUSTOMS
8:07 A.M. GLOSTRUP, COPENHAGEN, DK VALID TAX NUMBER REQUIRED FOR CLEARANCE
8:07 A.M. GLOSTRUP, COPENHAGEN, DK VALID TAX NUMBER REQUIRED FOR CLEARANCE
1:39 A.M. LOUISVILLE, KY, US HUB SCAN
12:27 A.M. LOUISVILLE, KY, US ARRIVAL SCAN
Oct 21, 2002 9:57 P.M. OMAHA, NE, US DEPARTURE SCAN
8:24 P.M. US BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
7:00 P.M. OMAHA, NE, US ARRIVAL SCAN
7:00 P.M. OMAHA, NE, US NOT YET RELEASED BY CUSTOMS
6:40 P.M. OMAHA, NE, US DEPARTURE SCAN
6:29 P.M. OMAHA, NE, US ORIGIN SCAN


Tracking results provided by UPS: Oct 23, 2002 4:37 P.M. Eastern Time (USA)

If this is too confusing, let me explain it in a different fashion.

Package departs from Omaha, Nebraska, US.
Package arrives in Louisville, Kentucky, US.
Package then flies 4390 miles northeast (heading approx. 38.6 degrees) and arrives in Glostrup, a suburb of Copenhagen.
Here package sits for a few while they try to find out what to do with it. Package is then tossed on a plane and sent the 400 miles Southwest to Cologne in Germany, known for its many traditional makers of perfumes (hence the term Cologne; originally Kölnerwasser or Water from Cologne).
A smart person at the UPS Germany hub then realizes, "Hey, this isn't supposed to be here - this guy lives in Copenhagen, that's in Denmark! We should ship this box back up there so he stays a happy person and doesn't turn into a bitter old fart."
Package is sent back to Glostrup (which is in Copenhagen, as we already established).
A stupid person at the UPS Denmark hub says to himself, "We don't want this package here! Let's send it back to Germany!"
Package is shipped to Cologne again.

End result? Drolgin is in much agony

[Bryian]

ah crap drolgin thats too funny... did you pay for next day shiping? well it can be delievered to the gus over there bet you could get 100bucks for it!

[Revs]

You live in the same country as Leyor, yet he has his copy. Buddy Christ is laughing at you

[Elidain]

Well I work for Fed Ex and I'm a courier and have seen some weird things happen to pkgs. Strange though why it went to germany.

[Ulvian]

Let me tell you this...never...ever...EVER send anything fragile via UPS.

I started out as a "proper" worker, handling the packages with care...that lasted for about a week (Working night shift 11pm - 4 am) My supervisor came up to me on the fourth day and gave a "demonstration" of "properly" unloading the packages. It involved pulling down a whole 1-2 walls of them, all at the same time (average truck is about 10-12 feet from floor to ceiling).
His only comment on the MASSIVE amount of breaking/shattering which came from the action was "I hope that was insured".

Ups Quotes:
- Ooo...it says Fragile...lets break it.
- Ooo...that was glass...definitelly glass by the sound it just made when it hit the floor
- Why is this 80lb box on top of a "fragile" marked box? Aaw, who gives a shit.
- Yea...they ship it, we break it.
- If you have a bad day...kick a package...it will make you feel better.
- Holy SHIT that mirror just got under the wheel of a tractor trailer...lets open it and count the pieces.

Ups sightings:
- A guy who took a motorcycle frame and started beating smaller boxes with it while cursing profusely
-A guy who got pissed at his truck being filled with Amazon.com boxes, and promptly started tossing them all into at the time moving gears

And many...many more.

My condolences to the wife and children, and any immediate familly members of your package Drolgin

[Elidain]

I hate to say Ulvian is right. But working for these companies we all do it. Humm Fragile... must be Italian. Just don't piss of the driver ever that picks up your pkg.

[Fallanthas]

Forget fragile.


I shipped a 2x2x72" piece of osage orange (bois d'arc) wood packed inside a scedule 40 pvc pipe through UPS once.

They managed to break open the end of the tube, roll about 18" of the stave out and break it off.

Now, osage orange is about the fifth densest woods on the planet, and arguably the most durable anywhere. I could have hung 800-900 pounds from that stave without breaking it.

Ever since then, I have this unreasonable urge to reach for an ice pick every time I see one of those brown trucks.

[Cotto]

Solution to problem:
Send a paintbomb

Result:
Parcel breaking fuckers will A)No longer break anyones parcels when the box explodes covering them in blue paint, B)No longer able to see.

Final Result:
Happy people!

[Tegellan]

One word for you Drolgin...Betafon.
I should have mine today or tomorrow, cheaper too

[Dups.]

FOR FUCK SAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I ordered through UPS. It came up to like 46ish dollars off the http://www.everquest.com website. (canadian dollars)

I was just informed that I will be charged an extra 35 fucking dollars for insert "i_dont_give_a_fuck_tax_89" here.


80 dollars for a fucking EXPANSION that I STILL DONT FUCKING HAVE!!!

[Kguku]

Oh, that's too bad

It's 29.95 at EB here in Winnipeg.

I bought 2 expansions for less than the price of your one!

Har har!

[Animalor]

Gezus.. Take that shit and return it bud.

I'm in Canada(Ottawa) and I paid 29.95 for it at EB.

[Ulvian]

Nice plan Cotto but.

Personally if someone did that, Id make sure that all packages from there on not only get unloaded "the UPS way" but also that they end up in 10-14 pieces minimum.

Its not really the worker's fault you see, just the way their managers want them to unload/load the shit.
Its known as:
"Do it fast and don't give a shit"

UPS's required unloading speed is 1000 pieces per hour, or one 40' truck, thats daytime though.

Night shift though is heavily under staffed (always, everywhere) and the total truck volume you have to process is about 3 times that of daytime.
Last time I worked there I was doing anywhere between 3500-5000 pieces per hour (Average older worker does about 1500-2000) which roughly is 3-4 of those trucks in an hour. When I finally got tired of busting my ass for $ 8.50 an hour and dared to go down to "only" 2000 packages per hour, I got multiple "talkings to", got pissed off at my union for not doing shit seeing as I was still popping out twice the "required" amount of packages (Fuck you Teamsters) and left the job

If you send your stuff, and it gets processed during day shifts you won't have a problem, one time that I worked a day-time saturday shift they asked me if I smoked crack before getting into work, bc I was putting away the trucks about 4 times as fast as anyone else there, and I made numerous male sorters cry/shit their pants/put out a hit on me.

[Elidain]

I'm a driver so I don't unload trucks. But I do pick ups on the road and stuff gets crushed at times but mostly not on purpose. I usally fill my truck by nights end and boxs usally fall on top of others and wreck them.

[Drolgin Steingrinder]

Chapter 2:

First attempt at delivery doesn't work out; the driver only has the streetname but not the number I live at.

Second attempt at delivery fails because the driver goes to the wrong adress and finds noone home.

After checking over the phone that they actually have it there, I then drive the 30 miles in rushhour traffic to pick up my copy at the UPS hub outside Copenhagen. A very nice and friendly man lets me know that they "can't find it".

Then I pull out my machinegun and kill everyone I see.