Hard breakups

MooZilla · Post by **MooZilla** » October 13, 2004, 3:49 pm

Going through a really really bad one right now. After about 3 years she decided to change her mind all within about 2 days and wont even treat me like a friend.

Any advice you dating veterans got on getting over hard breakups?

Neost · Post by **Neost** » October 13, 2004, 4:03 pm

get drunk, get laid.

rinse and repeat as needed.

When you look up and wonder why the fuck you've been drunk so long, problem solved.

Just kidding. Hard to say what will help you get over it other than time. What you need is something to take your mind off the relationship until whatever amount of time it takes you to feel better about it.

Develop a new hobby, take a trip that you've always wanted to take or anything other than sit around and mope about it.

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » October 13, 2004, 4:11 pm

Everyone always says that it takes time to get over a serious relationship, and I think it's true. You are not just taking the time to get over the person, but you are taking the time to redevelop your own habits. Once the person isn't around anymore, you will start to notice things that you do which really only made sense with the other person around. Start taking note of those things and find something else to do instead. It can start with how you set up rooms. Maybe you only had the bed in a certain place or made a certain way because of them...change it!

Avryce · Post by **Avryce** » October 13, 2004, 4:17 pm

Get with her mom or sister. Maybe both.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 13, 2004, 4:27 pm

Put on an iPod that's set to repeat Korn's 'Here to Stay'.

Work out.

Convince yourself that she's a psycho, you're better off without her, that you were the perfect boyfriend and you did nothing wrong.

In four weeks, leave your house for something other than work or groceries, and you'll be in better shape and not give a fuck about her anymore.

Good luck!

MooZilla · Post by **MooZilla** » October 13, 2004, 4:41 pm

noel wrote:Put on an iPod that's set to repeat Korn's 'Here to Stay'.

Work out.

Convince yourself that she's a psycho, you're better off without her, that you were the perfect boyfriend and you did nothing wrong.

In four weeks, leave your house for something other than work or groceries, and you'll be in better shape and not give a fuck about her anymore.

Good luck!

Dunno about the Korn...Anti-Flag and Bad Religion work fine for me.

She was sorta psycho...and i think i am better off without her. She always did say i was the perfect boyfriend. I didnt do anything wrong...

It's working already

noel · Post by **noel** » October 13, 2004, 4:45 pm

It's not the music, it's the lyrics.

Seebs · Post by **Seebs** » October 13, 2004, 5:07 pm

My advice ... Do not contact her. Do not write her. Do not let her see you greive.

Basically, make her think you are better off, and besides, you may be better off depending on the next woman you have feelings for. Lord knows I upgraded until the end of my dating days to acheive my status of Stephie's husband.
I waited until I was 35 to marry ... worth the wait.

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » October 13, 2004, 5:10 pm

get a 3rd nipple surgically implanted and then show it to her

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » October 13, 2004, 5:27 pm

Are you currently in college? Jeez, if so, you're good to go. Enjoy yourself. Your priorities may change over time depending on your age. I waited until 32 to settle down and marry. Besides, if she hightailed out the door so abruptly, there's something wonky going on, I wouldn't worry about it.

In addition, there's something to be said for having a little time to yourself. You appreciate whatever little you can get the older you get.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 13, 2004, 5:31 pm

The best advice I've ever gotten after a hard breakup that happened to me when I was about 25 came from a good friend who told me:

Well, now you can devote all of your time to yourself and get out and enjoy yourself.

Not to say that I didn't get time to myself during the relationship, but after the breakup, I was able to focus on myself. It's a good feeling if you realize how that can empower you.

Raistin · Post by **Raistin** » October 13, 2004, 5:40 pm

Go beat the hell out of the friend of yours who is doing her behind your back. 99% reason why she dumped you and no reason for it, nor even be friends with you now.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » October 13, 2004, 6:02 pm

You're single again...GAME ON!

Tenuvil · Post by **Tenuvil** » October 13, 2004, 6:06 pm

Go hang with friends, flirt and hook up with fun and exciting girls, try not to dwell on it, move on. If she's being an asshole, say fuck you and never have anything to do with her again -- but do not bad mouth her, just move on with no anger.

Tough things to do when you are just going through the breakup and it hurts like a bitch.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » October 13, 2004, 6:46 pm

If you need any porn just let me know.

Bren · Post by **Bren** » October 13, 2004, 6:50 pm

i moved to a new state. its a little extreme, but i was with my last bf for 3 years as well...I couldnt stand being in the same town as him,granted i grew up there EVERYTHING reminded me of him and that shithole town.

So I left.

Toall · Post by **Toall** » October 13, 2004, 8:02 pm

Try and remember that girl that may have hung out with you all that liked to flirt with you. Call her.. Even if it’s her best friend.

Tenuvil was right, don’t trash talk her. In other girls eyes it may not look so good.. Act the mature one and shrug it off when asked what happened (as hard as it may be).
Go to a Bar or if not old enough to a party and become the Life of it, if she happen to show up there you will be busy.

your back in the Game bro... HAVE a blast .. do all the things she didn’t want ya to do .... make her wish she had never left.

i went through a couple long term relationships in the past few years.. It hurts now but feels so much better down the road when your Ex girlfriends are calling wanting you back and you have a booty call on your call waiting

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » October 13, 2004, 8:33 pm

Toall wrote:Try and remember that girl that may have hung out with you all that liked to flirt with you. Call her.. Even if it’s her best friend.

Not to bring a downer to this pep rally but that girl would probably only have been interested in him because he had a girlfriend. Now that he's been dumped, she won't want him. Women are mean like that!

Carry on with the positives now!

noel · Post by **noel** » October 13, 2004, 8:36 pm

Toall wrote:your back in the Game bro... HAVE a blast .. do all the things she didn’t want ya to do .... make her wish she had never left.

Better yet, don't worry about what she thinks because she left you and that proves she's a fucking psycho that's not worth your time.

MooZilla · Post by **MooZilla** » October 13, 2004, 9:04 pm

Sounds like you guys all had some memories come back there, eh?

I sent her a letter in the mail saying just saying that its offically over. forever. i told her

good luck with your new boyfriend. maybe he will kiss you the way i did. or sing you that song that i did. or he might even like tacos like we do. and if your lucky he'll talk to you the same way i did. if he dosent, well, too bad. youre not getting this one back.

I might sleep with her friend. She does sorta like me.

Yeah i'll like having lots of time for me, and just playing the field.

Thanks for the advice!

Lohrno · Post by **Lohrno** » October 13, 2004, 9:10 pm

The single most obvious advice:

Like someone said, take your mind of of it.

Now, what's an activity that consumes a lot of time?

Hmm...

A tough one here.

An activity that requires your attention for hours on hours on end...

-=Lohrno

Pherr the Dorf · Post by **Pherr the Dorf** » October 13, 2004, 9:55 pm

stop looking for anything, just have fun, you might never know what will end up falling in your lap... trust me, it happened to me about 6 weeks ago

Tenuvil · Post by **Tenuvil** » October 13, 2004, 11:04 pm

There was a short film on the Internet a while ago that started off with a chick dumping a guy and telling him she was hooking up with his boss. In response he says to her "I'm gonna fuck your Mom." The rest of the movie shows him slowly seducing his ex's mom while his ex falls to utter pieces.

It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen, especially the part where he looks up at his ex and starts fisting the mailbox with this unholy leer on his face.

Maybe someone can post a link, or use leet google skills

Asheran Mojomaster · October 13, 2004, 11:12 pm

Lohrno wrote:The single most obvious advice:

Like someone said, take your mind of of it.

Now, what's an activity that consumes a lot of time?

Hmm...

A tough one here.

An activity that requires your attention for hours on hours on end...

-=Lohrno

Moke Reef.

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » October 14, 2004, 12:12 am

noel wrote:
Toall wrote:your back in the Game bro... HAVE a blast .. do all the things she didn’t want ya to do .... make her wish she had never left.
Better yet, don't worry about what she thinks because she left you and that proves she's a fucking psycho that's not worth your time.

Holy crap, bitter much?

and the replaying a song over in your head, jesus.. grow up

Drasta · Post by **Drasta** » October 14, 2004, 12:12 am

im back togather with my biggest heart break that i had 3 years ago

noel · Post by **noel** » October 14, 2004, 12:16 am

Chidoro wrote:Holy crap, bitter much?

and the replaying a song over in your head, jesus.. grow up

I'm happier than I've ever been with the girl I've been dating for nearly a year. I was giving him advice for getting over a breakup, not for maintaining a relationship. I'm glad you posted though. I'd like to take this opportunity to cordially invite you to go fuck yourself.

Izna Marcos · Post by **Izna Marcos** » October 14, 2004, 12:20 am

the best part of relationships?

Has to be the togetherness, being part of a WHOLE, that other half. At least imo..waking up next to that other person....

the best part of being single?

You can learn bout YOU. You don't answer to anyone, you don't have to worry bout making a complete ass outta yourself, and don't have anyone but YOU to deal with.

Best advice i can give is , go out, find things you did before her, that you loved. Most of them, i'll promise you, you gave up without even thinking bout it, cuz of her.

People change for relationships, it human nature...

Hell, go out and have a night out with the guys, get some ones, throw in a couple twenties for me...and head to some strip club. Get drunk off your ass. DONT however, go looking for something to replace that other half, it's gone...remember that.

Sparty · Post by **Sparty** » October 14, 2004, 12:52 am

Name your finger after your ex. Then Finger yourself and try and get a chunk out. Now look at your finger. Yup, shes a piece of shit.

My name is Sparty

Deneve · Post by **Deneve** » October 14, 2004, 1:16 am

While I do not reccomend this, it is logical and it did work for a friend of mine. A good relationship borders on obsession with the other person, instead of killing his obsession he just replaced it, started up on speed/meth for about 3 months, then dropped that for cigarettes, then took 6 more months to kill cigarettes

a_guide · Post by **a_guide** » October 14, 2004, 2:22 am

Deneve wrote:While I do not reccomend this, it is logical and it did work for a friend of mine. A good relationship borders on obsession with the other person, instead of killing his obsession he just replaced it, started up on speed/meth for about 3 months, then dropped that for cigarettes, then took 6 more months to kill cigarettes

Ummmm, yeah... I'm going to have to voice my strenous opposition to picking meth/speed. However I must concur with the people suggesting either time to re-explore life with only your wants and needs to consider or a new hobby.

Ransure · Post by **Ransure** » October 14, 2004, 2:48 am

Deneve wrote:While I do not reccomend this, it is logical and it did work for a friend of mine. A good relationship borders on obsession with the other person, instead of killing his obsession he just replaced it, started up on speed/meth for about 3 months, then dropped that for cigarettes, then took 6 more months to kill cigarettes

Yes... thats the first thing I thought of when I read that... logical....

Why not just get a job in a Meth lab.. that way your not thinking about the person you broke up with... your high as a fucking kite.... and your making substancially less than minimum wage while killing yourself and hating your job....

Or maybe you wont hate the job..

Trias · Post by **Trias** » October 14, 2004, 11:57 am

flaming bag of crap on her porch!

Vaemas · Post by **Vaemas** » October 14, 2004, 12:08 pm

Tenuvil wrote:There was a short film on the Internet a while ago that started off with a chick dumping a guy and telling him she was hooking up with his boss. In response he says to her "I'm gonna fuck your Mom." The rest of the movie shows him slowly seducing his ex's mom while his ex falls to utter pieces.

It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen, especially the part where he looks up at his ex and starts fisting the mailbox with this unholy leer on his face.

Maybe someone can post a link, or use leet google skills

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2410176

Taly · Post by **Taly** » October 14, 2004, 12:13 pm

Have fun! Find yourself! Don't let her see you upset and don't even bother trying to speak to her, just not worth it and will keep hurting you til you heal if ya do!

Never know whats around the corner for you so just have fun! I did and got married this last saturday so it will happen for you too when you are ready

Drustwyn · Post by **Drustwyn** » October 14, 2004, 12:22 pm

I'm gonna have to agree with teh Sparty.

Tenuvil · Post by **Tenuvil** » October 14, 2004, 12:29 pm

Taly wrote:Never know whats around the corner for you so just have fun! I did and got married this last saturday so it will happen for you too when you are ready

Congrats Taly!

Chidoro · Post by **Chidoro** » October 14, 2004, 12:38 pm

noel wrote:I'm happier than I've ever been with the girl I've been dating for nearly a year. I was giving him advice for getting over a breakup, not for maintaining a relationship. I'm glad you posted though. I'd like to take this opportunity to cordially invite you to go fuck yourself.

you still can't flame yourself out of a wet paper bag. you'd think after a billion posts, you'd pick up on something

Chin up!

miir · Post by **miir** » October 14, 2004, 12:44 pm

This thread clearly requires the wisdom of Pilsbury.

Drolgin Steingrinder · October 14, 2004, 12:49 pm

I second that, paging Pilsburry to thread #11760 STAT.

Drolgin Steingrinder · October 14, 2004, 12:51 pm

Just because I asked a friend about her, just because I spoke her name somewhere,
Just because I dialled her number by mistake today, she thinks I still care.

Just because I haunt the same old places, where the memory of her lingers everywhere,
Just because I'm not the happy guy I used to be, she thinks I still care.

Oh if she's happy thinkin' I still need her, then let that silly notion bring her cheer,
Oh how could she ever be so foolish, and where would she get such an idea?

Just because I asked a friend about her, just because I spoke her name somewhere,
Just because I saw her, then went all to pieces, she thinks I still care.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » October 14, 2004, 2:01 pm

We got just one shot of life, let’s take it while we’re still not afraid.
Because life is so brief and time is a thief when you’re undecided.
And like a fistful of sand, it can slip right through your hands.

Forget her. Don't waste your time moping.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 14, 2004, 2:08 pm

Chidoro wrote:you still can't flame yourself out of a wet paper bag. you'd think after a billion posts, you'd pick up on something

Chin up!

Hi-I-wasn't-trying-because-I-have-far-better-things-to-do-than-waste-my-time-trying-to-explain-things-or-criticize-someone-who-is-convinced-they-know-everything.

My advice stands. It wasn't for you, and it was for 'getting over a hard breakup'. It wasn't intended to cure cancer, bring about world peace, or find the threshhold of your arrogance. You are of course free to have any opinion you like about my posts, but I neither need nor want your commentary.

Atokal · Post by **Atokal** » October 14, 2004, 3:08 pm

noel wrote:
Chidoro wrote:you still can't flame yourself out of a wet paper bag. you'd think after a billion posts, you'd pick up on something

Chin up!
Hi-I-wasn't-trying-because-I-have-far-better-things-to-do-than-waste-my-time-trying-to-explain-things-or-criticize-someone-who-is-convinced-they-know-everything.

My advice stands. It wasn't for you, and it was for 'getting over a hard breakup'. It wasn't intended to cure cancer, bring about world peace, or find the threshhold of your arrogance. You are of course free to have any opinion you like about my posts, but I neither need nor want your commentary.

HAR your advice is about as juvenile as your need to feel superior.
Convince yourself that she is psycho. Well that must have been a good one for you because what I do know of you is that girls bail on you on a regular basis. THEY ALL MUST BE PSYCHO. HAR HAR.

Grow the fuck up kid.

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » October 14, 2004, 3:25 pm

Atokal knows a lot about breakups

He's got about 50 every day they get off the school bus!

miir · Post by **miir** » October 14, 2004, 3:30 pm

Hoy stragi, sup doot.

noel · Post by **noel** » October 14, 2004, 3:39 pm

Atokal wrote:Noel I am quite thankful that what I know about you I could fit into a thimble.

I have quite good relationships with all of my ex-girlfriends, but thanks for your concern.

As more of a reply to the thread in general regarding my initial advice:

Having watched both my girl and guy friends go through some nasty breakups, and also with my own personal experience, I've come to the following conclusions. The reason that breakups are so hard is because of the difficulty during the initial period after the breakup to think clearly, and the transition from dependence/companionship to independence/being single. I think it's safe to say that we all seek companionship on one level or another, and when we're suddenly deprived of that, it hurts pretty bad. Therefore, if during the initial period you convince yourself that A) the grapes are sour (by whatever means necessary) and B) all the other fish in the sea are better fish, you will get over the breakup faster.

I fully understand that this behavior is somewhat irrational. I'm certainly not advocating this for the long-term; just for that initial period of A) wanting the other person back and B) getting yourself back to a state where you can be independent and think clearly again. In reality, the person might have been perfect, and YOU might have been the problem, but... we're not trying to get the other person over you, we're trying to get YOU over them.

I'm not going to defend my logic anymore on this thread, so if you don't like it, I don't care.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » October 14, 2004, 4:05 pm

Stragi wrote:Atokal knows a lot about breakups

They don't breakup....they grow up.

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » October 14, 2004, 5:27 pm

masteen · Post by **masteen** » October 14, 2004, 5:53 pm

Stragi's right hand is divorcing him. I'm sorry bro!