Ode to the nice guys

Dregor Thule · Post by **Dregor Thule** » June 25, 2004, 2:31 pm

I know, ironic that I'm posting this! Thought it was pretty dead on.

Ode to the Nice Guys
By: Lindsay Nash
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Akaran_D · Post by **Akaran_D** » June 25, 2004, 2:59 pm

Warm fuzzy for the day bud, thanks.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » June 25, 2004, 3:03 pm

Nice is ok but you can be nice and also have the presence to not let yourself get walked on. Also, "nice" in the bedroom = boring so leave your nice at the door and pick it back up on the way out!

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » June 25, 2004, 3:05 pm

Very well said.

murr · Post by **murr** » June 25, 2004, 5:12 pm

Right Winnow. Some of the stuff the author mentioned doesn't necessitate being 'walked on' but some is just 'ouch.'

Still, cool to read.

Kaldaur · Post by **Kaldaur** » June 25, 2004, 6:23 pm

Hats off to that post, Dregor. Something to toss a nod to.

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » June 25, 2004, 7:20 pm

This needs to be a beer commercial...

Here's to the Nice Guys...
Sung: (Mr. Never gonna get laid)
etc etc...

Sargeras · Post by **Sargeras** » June 25, 2004, 8:08 pm

A-fucking-men Dregor.

Keverian FireCry · Post by **Keverian FireCry** » June 25, 2004, 8:42 pm

Also, "nice" in the bedroom = boring so leave your nice at the door and pick it back up on the way out!

I disagree. There are times for nice in the bed aswell as aggresive. When it comes to orally stimulating a woman, I find the light touch and tickle approach to work far better than burying my face in their crotch and smothering their clit with my mouth...

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » June 25, 2004, 9:49 pm

10 bucks says that was written by a guy.

Arborealus · Post by **Arborealus** » June 25, 2004, 9:57 pm

kyoukan wrote:10 bucks says that was written by a guy.

Nah girl in a Dear John letter to a nice guy...

Jice Virago · Post by **Jice Virago** » June 25, 2004, 11:13 pm

A tribute to emotional tampons around the world.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » June 25, 2004, 11:30 pm

Keverian FireCry wrote:
Also, "nice" in the bedroom = boring so leave your nice at the door and pick it back up on the way out!
I disagree. There are times for nice in the bed aswell as aggresive. When it comes to orally stimulating a woman, I find the light touch and tickle approach to work far better than burying my face in their crotch and smothering their clit with my mouth...

??? That's not what I meant!

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » June 26, 2004, 6:51 pm

Arborealus wrote:Nah girl in a Dear John letter to a nice guy...

sounds like just a guy. some guys like to rationalize the reason they don't get laid is because girls think they are too nice. I do know women that only seem to date assholes and jerks for unexplainable reasons, but in the main most women will very much so date a guy merely on the fact that he is a nice guy, providing that he isn't physically repulsive or stupid.

a lot of guys who think they are too nice and that's why they don't get dates are actually physically repulsive or stupid.

if a woman says she won't date you becuase you are too good of a friend and she doesn't want to ruin that is just being nice to you.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » June 26, 2004, 8:41 pm

kyoukan wrote:
Arborealus wrote:Nah girl in a Dear John letter to a nice guy...
sounds like just a guy. some guys like to rationalize the reason they don't get laid is because girls think they are too nice. I do know women that only seem to date assholes and jerks for unexplainable reasons, but in the main most women will very much so date a guy merely on the fact that he is a nice guy, providing that he isn't physically repulsive or stupid.

a lot of guys who think they are too nice and that's why they don't get dates are actually physically repulsive or stupid.

if a woman says she won't date you becuase you are too good of a friend and she doesn't want to ruin that is just being nice to you.

One of kyoukan's better posts.

Boogahz · Post by **Boogahz** » June 26, 2004, 10:02 pm

Winnow wrote:
kyoukan wrote:
Arborealus wrote:Nah girl in a Dear John letter to a nice guy...
sounds like just a guy. some guys like to rationalize the reason they don't get laid is because girls think they are too nice. I do know women that only seem to date assholes and jerks for unexplainable reasons, but in the main most women will very much so date a guy merely on the fact that he is a nice guy, providing that he isn't physically repulsive or stupid.

a lot of guys who think they are too nice and that's why they don't get dates are actually physically repulsive or stupid.

if a woman says she won't date you becuase you are too good of a friend and she doesn't want to ruin that is just being nice to you.
One of kyoukan's better posts.

yeah, since it was just a rationalizing a rationalization

nobody · Post by **nobody** » June 27, 2004, 12:59 am

nice guys don't finish last, they're running a different race.

Ceffin · Post by **Ceffin** » June 27, 2004, 1:54 am

i think OMGIAMRETARDEDCAUSEALOTISTWOWORDS of girls dont date nice guys becuase of their parents relationship - most of the girls ive noticed who have divorced parents and stuff go after the more..rebellious/bad guy type persona, because they grew up where the dad(most often but not always) was projected as the asshole and such, so thats what they kinda expect in a relationship and thinks its ok.

but i might just be rambling - im a nice guy, but i dont lament about me not getting laid or anything , i have fun and date around while respecting girls , i have a good time =]

Jice Virago · Post by **Jice Virago** » June 27, 2004, 2:34 am

So.... your not getting laid is what you are saying?

Squegy · Post by **Squegy** » June 27, 2004, 7:21 am

most women admit they rather date jerks because nice guys are boring!

jaeger · Post by **jaeger** » June 27, 2004, 11:56 pm

Its not entirely true.. Jice is an asshole, and still doesnt get laid.. i guess theres no hope for him.

nobody · Post by **nobody** » June 28, 2004, 12:46 am

hello everybody. my name is nobody, and i'm a recovering nice guy. i once spent 140 dollars on a first date just to see the smile on the girl's face when i bought her a coat she was eyeballing

. didn't even get laid for it. i'm still not an asshole but i put myself first now b/c i figured out that if i don't noone else will.

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » June 28, 2004, 5:56 am

a lot of guys who think they are too nice and that's why they don't get dates are actually physically repulsive or stupid

zing!

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » June 28, 2004, 11:20 am

kyoukan wrote:10 bucks says that was written by a guy.

a guy that does not get laid....

It can be absolutely proven....with looks being equal between 2 guys....that the woman will go for the asshole nearly every time. I could see it myself with different females through the years. The ones I treated like a queen ran like hell. The ones I treated like shit would be on my cock at the drop of a zipper. Sad really.

Vaemas · Post by **Vaemas** » June 28, 2004, 8:23 pm

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

Originally written by Jen Fu-Zu, a recent graduate of UPenn. Not a guy. And definitely not written by some "Lindsey Nash" whoever she is.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » June 29, 2004, 10:53 am

jaeger wrote:Its not entirely true.. Jice is an asshole, and still doesnt get laid.. i guess theres no hope for him.

Jice is an asshole yes but he is getting laid. (not by me you sickos) A real woman is making Jice happy.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » June 29, 2004, 10:54 am

Squegy wrote:most women admit they rather date jerks because nice guys are boring!

This months Maxim has a great article in it about woman dating and such and there is a question in there about why women date jerks.

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » June 29, 2004, 1:02 pm

This months Maxim has a great article in it about woman dating and such and there is a question in there about why women date jerks.

Trusting dating info from Maxium is like getting sex advice from a drunken frat boy. Good luck to anyone who actually listens to either

masteen · Post by **masteen** » June 29, 2004, 1:03 pm

If you're looking to score with the girls of Delta Delta Delta, Maxim and the drunk frat guy can totally help you.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » June 29, 2004, 9:30 pm

not many women date jerks exclusively. that is a rumor propagated by men who can't get dates.

if you're regularly not getting dates and you're actively trying, then there is something wrong with you.

Sassii · Post by **Sassii** » June 30, 2004, 9:54 am

Personally I don't like jerks but I want a man that has some balls and has his own opinions. I don't want someone I can walk all over because I'll never be able to respect him. I want a man that can treat me with respect and still be sexy and aggressive in bed. That's a combo that is sometimes hard to find.

Squegy · Post by **Squegy** » June 30, 2004, 10:09 am

in fairness its easy to confuse confidence with just being an asshole.

i know women use this nice guy excuse to get out of dating losers a lot but see above!

Post by **Sylvus** » June 30, 2004, 11:17 am

I want a girl with extensions in her hair
Bamboo earrings... at least two pair
A Fendi bag and a bad attitude
That's all I need to get me in a good mood
She can walk with a switch and talk with street slang
I love it when a woman ain't scared to do her thing
Standing at the bus stop sucking on a lollipop
Once she gets pumping its hard to make the hottie stop
She likes to dance to the rap jam
She sweet as brown sugar with the candied yams
Honey coated complexion using Camay
Lets hear it for the girl she's from around the way

masteen · Post by **masteen** » June 30, 2004, 11:40 am

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes

I want a girl with the right allocations
Who's fast and thorough
And sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelry
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility
And picking up slack

VeeshanVault

Ode to the nice guys

Ode to the nice guys

heh