Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs. . .

Drisanna · Post by **Drisanna** » October 5, 2002, 1:02 pm

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

..............

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

..............

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

..............

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

..............

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

..............

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (that is beautiful)

..............

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

..............

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

..............

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

...............

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

...............

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

................

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

................

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

................

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » October 5, 2002, 2:09 pm

Reporters asked Mike Tyson what he was going to do after loosing his latest fight against Lennex Lewis.

mike: "I don't know, I guess I'll just fade into bolivian."

Ulvian · Post by **Ulvian** » October 5, 2002, 2:40 pm

Ah yes, pro athletes.
Nothing makes you loose faith in the American School System like they do.

Saddest part is that most of them got into the pro's after going to college on a sport's schollarship and playing their chosen sport there.

Pubin · Post by **Pubin** » October 5, 2002, 6:46 pm

Ulvian wrote:Ah yes, pro athletes.
Nothing makes you loose faith in the American School System like they do.

Saddest part is that most of them got into the pro's after going to college on a sport's schollarship and playing their chosen sport there.

The sad thing is when people make comments on education and proceed to spell "scholarship" wrong.

Keverian FireCry · Post by **Keverian FireCry** » October 5, 2002, 8:08 pm

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."

His name is Bum.....wtf

Ulvian · Post by **Ulvian** » October 5, 2002, 11:49 pm

Sadest part Pubin,is that I'm not inherently an english speaker.
So if I mis-spell something, you don't have to spend valuable 5 minutes of your time to point it out to me, thanks.

Denadeb · Post by **Denadeb** » October 6, 2002, 5:34 pm

I happen to like this one alittle more than the rest.

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

This one was a close second.

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » October 6, 2002, 8:16 pm

You know for a so called lowsy education system, we sure do get a lot of outside folk attending universities in the States.

Fact is the whole system is well funded and top notch. The weakness is in our culture. Our culture doesn't push our children to strive for educational excelence like some cultures.

A determined kid in the USA with a determined family can have access to some of the best education on earth if they work for it.

Look at the parents and students first before you blame the schools.

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » October 6, 2002, 10:18 pm

The fact is, our public schools are far from anything to cheer about, but our colleges are amoung the best in the world. Too bad we are forced to pay ungodly amounts of money for the best part of our American education. How... American.

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » October 7, 2002, 12:07 am

It's the popular thing nowadays to blame the schools for our own personal failings.

A determined person has tremendous opportunities here.

Pubin · Post by **Pubin** » October 7, 2002, 12:18 am

Ulvian, not a native english speaker?

Well then one of two situations applies here.

1) You do not live in the US and haven't had the experience to comment on the education system.

2) You live in the US and have even attended college and thus have adequate first hand knowledge and are qualified to comment as such. If this is the case, then you deserve to be called out on spelling a common word incorrectly.

I'm not defending or dissing the education system in the U.S., just requesting you don't talk out of your ass (this expression means don't speak on subjects you are ignorant about). TT

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » October 7, 2002, 11:34 am

I once had to babysit the Jacksonville Jaguars when they had their training camp up here in Wisconsin at Stevens Point. While they may be incredible atheletes and work hard at what they do, they are some of the most pampered, lazy, uncivilized bastards I have ever met. Instead of getting up and going to the bathroom they'd rather piss in a 2 liter bottle. Instead of walking the 20 yards to the cafeteria they have to be driven. They have to call a cab to take them to the bar that is just up the block. There are other horror stories I'd rather not relate.

vn_Tanc · Post by **vn_Tanc** » October 7, 2002, 11:42 am

Pls relate!

Nuggun · Post by **Nuggun** » October 7, 2002, 3:19 pm

You live in the US and have even attended college

-Pubin

The correct grammar for that retort would be something along the lines of:
You live in the US and (haven't, have not) even attended college.

On a side note Pubin, people do talk about their experiences in college to friends and family. You do not need to be in college to hear about how the educational carriculum is. I'm currently in college and on this subject I put my vote halfway, there are good teachers and bad teachers, good students and bad students. There are more factors to "stupid people" than just good and bad schools.

If you are going to put someone down for improper spelling please make sure yours is correct, otherwise it just seems to diminish the point of your post.

Cerran · Post by **Cerran** » October 7, 2002, 3:28 pm

carriculum? His grammar is correct in that statement. Reread it, and it will make sense to you.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » October 7, 2002, 3:30 pm

Oh Jeez. I thought we didn't rip on people for fucking up the spelling of words or how they are used. We have our own jargon here in the Vault.

Btw, welcome, Jackass.

Nuggun · Post by **Nuggun** » October 7, 2002, 3:40 pm

"have even", if that is the correct terminology, would then mean that Pubin meant that Ulvian did indeed attend college and would make his whole statement pointless. It should have been "haven't" or "have not" even attended college.

And yes bubba I agree with you but I was aggravated that Pubin was being a dick to non-native english speaking people for no reason. And thx for the jackas lol.

Don't suppose anyone remembers slabanese?

Edit: LOL...edited for some spelling.

Cerran · Post by **Cerran** » October 7, 2002, 3:56 pm

Umm, I really don't care much about someone's spelling or grammar. I would like to point out that Pubin stated an either/or scenario. Either the poster does not live in the U.S. and didn't experience our education system, OR the poster does AND might have attended college. I reiterate the correctness of his statement and will no longer waste my precious time on such a silly argument. A post about the funny things athletes say to reinforce our stereotypes shouldn't evoke such lessons...

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » October 7, 2002, 4:00 pm

heheh Potato or Potato?

damn, it sounds much better than it writes.

Truant · Post by **Truant** » October 7, 2002, 4:09 pm

fuck's sake man it's written quite plainly!!!

Pubin said (paraphrased)

you do not live in the us and you did not go to US colleges.

OR

you do live in the us and you did go to college

IT IS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD!!!!

J:KLWEGHWE"FJEQJTEQITHJ4

Xyphir · Post by **Xyphir** » October 7, 2002, 5:24 pm

Who else but professional athletes can get away with talking about themselves in the third person? ... not including Bob Dole.

Pubin · Post by **Pubin** » October 7, 2002, 5:39 pm

Nuggun wrote:
You live in the US and have even attended college
-Pubin

The correct grammar for that retort would be something along the lines of:
You live in the US and (haven't, have not) even attended college.

On a side note Pubin, people do talk about their experiences in college to friends and family. You do not need to be in college to hear about how the educational carriculum is. I'm currently in college and on this subject I put my vote halfway, there are good teachers and bad teachers, good students and bad students. There are more factors to "stupid people" than just good and bad schools.

If you are going to put someone down for improper spelling please make sure yours is correct, otherwise it just seems to diminish the point of your post.

Hahah, my grammer isn't incorrect in any way.Hey!! Neither is my spelling you ingrown anuspube. Curriculum is the word you're trying to spell I think...please share which college you currently attend so I can further educate myself on which schools cater to retards.

Anyway yes professional athletes aren't the smartest bunch, but they make more money than I. That's all that matters right? Case in point.
http://download.consumptionjunction.com ... _12920.wmv

Hammerstalker PE · Post by **Hammerstalker PE** » October 7, 2002, 5:49 pm

This thread is GHEY after Pubin had his 2 farts worth...

Joramile · Post by **Joramile** » October 7, 2002, 6:26 pm

I are product of Emerica sko0l! Kiss mE!

I live in california, where we have a decent school. It isn't the schools or teachers who determine how stupid we are, its the students.

Yep those little fucktards who drive 53 in a 30 and blame the teacher for their bad grade, even though they earned it. The only people who will commit a wrongful act and blatantly lie about it!

No seriously! In high school, you get as much out of it as you put into it? Make sense? Put some fucking effort in and stop finding excuses you lazy fuck-ups?

in 1 class, there is 3 people that bother me. All 3 of them talk to each other the whole period, and when they're not talking, they're sleeping. And they wonder why the have a D...fucking idiots!

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » October 7, 2002, 6:27 pm

Hell, I think Tyson could be a poster on our boards.

*~*stragi*~* · Post by ***~*stragi*~*** » October 8, 2002, 3:19 pm

Nuggun wrote:
You live in the US and have even attended college
-Pubin

The correct grammar for that retort would be something along the lines of:
You live in the US and (haven't, have not) even attended college.

On a side note Pubin, people do talk about their experiences in college to friends and family. You do not need to be in college to hear about how the educational carriculum is. I'm currently in college and on this subject I put my vote halfway, there are good teachers and bad teachers, good students and bad students. There are more factors to "stupid people" than just good and bad schools.

If you are going to put someone down for improper spelling please make sure yours is correct, otherwise it just seems to diminish the point of your post.

It would seem his retort went way, way over your head. You're in college? Glad to see you're getting your money's worth.

Zygar_ Cthulhukin · Post by **Zygar_ Cthulhukin** » October 8, 2002, 3:28 pm

I just like saying retort. Retort, retort, retort. Ahhhhhhhhh.....

Please resume flaming, kthx.