Paging Mr. Darwin.....Please Pick Up a White Courtesy Phone

[Burke]

Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture
by Elroy Willis

ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after
leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best
described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted
from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was apparently
convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people
floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road
who she believed was Jesus.

"She started screaming `He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through
the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams,
husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the
scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams
said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus
was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force,"
said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the
man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a
toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck
came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium,
which then floated up into the sky.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his
friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into
the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car
passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people
up into heaven as they drove by him.

"I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower said
when asked why his wife would do such a thing. When asked for comments
about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied, "This is all just too weird
for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."

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Dammit I love people who take all that stuff literally.

[Kylere]

Hoax http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blrapture.htm

[Drolgin Steingrinder]

Fun story. A joke, but a fun story: http://web2.iadfw.net/~elo/news/rapturetalk.html

[Burke]

Haha, I guess I am the one who took it literally.

edit: spelling

[Jaxomer]

For future reference, most theologians are rather firmly convinced that when Jesus finally does return he's not likely to be driving a pickup truck.

[Llaffer]

I think I heard that about 3 years ago -- funny to read it again

[Drasta]

guess she wasn't worthy to be lifted ...