My friends and I were talking today and something sparked a memory of Ducru's couch-humping story.
I felt that a rehash of that thread was in order, in case any new people have stories to share or if any of us old hands remembered any we didn't tell before.
5 million VV's to the winner - if there are any suitable runners up, they will be compensated. Feel free to add to the pot to encourage people - given the bank balance we could probably field a fairly large sum, despite inflation (I have 400 million or something, lol). I'd throw down plenty more for a good story.
Embarrassment Thread Strikes Back: 5 million VV's
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Arundel Pajo
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Oh man, I have a ton of horrible stories.
I think one of the better ones is the time that I got force-fed by Barney the dinosaur.
I was...oh...20, I think. I was up from college, visiting my parents for the weekend. My mother, for whatever reason (I don't understand it) loves to eat at Luby's Cafeteria. She calls it "comfort food" or somesuch. My father and I just think it's nasty - but we humor her from time to time.
It should also be said that she likes to "beat the rush" at the cafeteria. As many of you probably know, the average age of diners at a cafeteria is around 70, and old people like to eat really, really early. The "rush," then, hits at about 5:00 PM. So we are there before this. Having dinner at about 4:30. Yay.
As we file into the cafeteria, a colorful sign catches my eye. Luby's, it seems, in a vain attempt to attract a more youthful clientele, has hit on the idea to make one night a week into a "family night." Luckily for us, it happens to be the night we are dining there, though it is not scheduled to start until much later - at around 7:00, when the normal people eat. I look at the itenerary...one week, they had a baloon-animal tying clown...one week, they had Winnie the Pooh...and this week, they have Barney. Yay.
We proceed through the line at rocket-speed, being the only ones in it, and I get my square fish and my macaroni and cheese...the only two things that are even vaguely edible. We then proceed to the dining area.
The dining area is already decorated for tonights festivities. Balloons are tied to the backs of chairs, there are streamers strung, and there is some confetti here and there. Several tables are full of geriatrics enjoying their food, one with an oxygen mask, some with wheelchairs. This scene alone was strikingly surreal.
So we sit down begin "enjoying" our food, having a quiet giggle at the thought of Barney and all these old people. Pity he won't come out until 7:00.
Then we see it...a huge purple shape making its way from table to table at the other side of the dining room. Barney is out for an early appearance. He's jovially going around, waving at the seniors, bobbing balloons here and there. I look down and resume eating.
"He's headed this way," my dad says. I look up, and sure enough, he is indeed making his way in our general direction. At about this point in time he sees me.
It should be noted at this point in the story, that I am the youngest thing in the restaurant by a good 25 years (my parents are next - after that, it's geezers), and the closest thing resembling a child, even though I'm 20 at the time.
Barney throws out his arms and gallops toward me. Not a run, not a little jog, but a gallop. Seriously. Silverware is shaking on tables. My water looks like the famous coffee cup in "Jurassic Park." My parents are seized with paroxysms of laughter. I, on the other hand, am frozen in shock...watching my impending humiliation approach.
Barney reaches me and throws his purple carpeted arms around me in an embrace. He smells like mothballs and urine. Nasty. He puts his head on top of mine and makes an exaggerated slurping noise that I can only imagine is supposed to represent a kiss. I become acutely aware that all eyes in the room are on me. Still - for some reason - I am frozen. I am a statue. The only thought running through my head is, "don't look at him. Look straight ahead. Keep still. Ignore him and he will leave. The sooner he leaves, the better. Ignore him." And so, I am totally rigid in my seat, frozen and unwilling to even make eye contact with my purple attacker.
Faced with my stony response, Barney backs up, puts his fists to his eyes, and acts like he's crying. From somewhere in the peanut gallery, I hear an "aaaawwwwww...." Damn geezers should mind their business.
Barney makes a second pass. He bobs my balloon, does a little jig, and goes in for a second mothball-smelling hug and kiss. Still, I am unwavering. My parents have lost control at this point. They are laughing too hard to help me.
Barney backs up and cries again. This time, from several points, I hear jeers. "BOOOO!!!!!" I can't believe it, these old people are booing me.
Now Barney gets brave. He picks up my fork (I'm still frozen), scoops up a forkful of now congealed macaroni and cheese, and attempts to feed it to me. Like "open the hangar and let in the airplane" style. I, on the other hand, have no intention of being fed by Barney. Have you seen "Aliens"? You know the scene where Sigourney Weaver is in that yellow robot suit, and the creature is trying to hit her with its little "shoot out really fast and kill you" set of teeth, and she's turning her head from side to side, as the creature's teeth keep shooting at her? It was like that, but with Barney instead of the alien. And cold macaroni instead of teeth. Still, I resisted - and Barney put the fork back on my plate.
Barney, sensing the weight of the crowd behind him from before, turns around to face them and does a little "raise the roof" type gesture. The jeering intensifies, and some crusty old fart actually throws his napkin at me. The Geritol posse must be having a field day watching the young whippersnapper getting tortured. This is apparently more fun than bingo night for them.
Barney then grabs the fork again and makes another pass. This time, I realize that I am defeated. Barney, apparently, will not leave me alone no matter how much I try to pretend he's not there and this isn't happening. I have to submit. Only then will he leave.
So I eat the macaroni and cheese he offers me. Off the fork. Held in his smelly purple mitt. It's cold and slimy and tastes of humility and defeat, but I choke it down. The peanut gallery cheers. Barney gives me a hug and kiss and galumphs off somewhere else.
I don't remember much after that, honestly. That was so traumatizing that everything immediately after is sort of a blur. I think we just finished our meal and left.
I was mortified. My parents and about 20 old people enjoyed it immensely.
I think one of the better ones is the time that I got force-fed by Barney the dinosaur.
I was...oh...20, I think. I was up from college, visiting my parents for the weekend. My mother, for whatever reason (I don't understand it) loves to eat at Luby's Cafeteria. She calls it "comfort food" or somesuch. My father and I just think it's nasty - but we humor her from time to time.
It should also be said that she likes to "beat the rush" at the cafeteria. As many of you probably know, the average age of diners at a cafeteria is around 70, and old people like to eat really, really early. The "rush," then, hits at about 5:00 PM. So we are there before this. Having dinner at about 4:30. Yay.
As we file into the cafeteria, a colorful sign catches my eye. Luby's, it seems, in a vain attempt to attract a more youthful clientele, has hit on the idea to make one night a week into a "family night." Luckily for us, it happens to be the night we are dining there, though it is not scheduled to start until much later - at around 7:00, when the normal people eat. I look at the itenerary...one week, they had a baloon-animal tying clown...one week, they had Winnie the Pooh...and this week, they have Barney. Yay.
We proceed through the line at rocket-speed, being the only ones in it, and I get my square fish and my macaroni and cheese...the only two things that are even vaguely edible. We then proceed to the dining area.
The dining area is already decorated for tonights festivities. Balloons are tied to the backs of chairs, there are streamers strung, and there is some confetti here and there. Several tables are full of geriatrics enjoying their food, one with an oxygen mask, some with wheelchairs. This scene alone was strikingly surreal.
So we sit down begin "enjoying" our food, having a quiet giggle at the thought of Barney and all these old people. Pity he won't come out until 7:00.
Then we see it...a huge purple shape making its way from table to table at the other side of the dining room. Barney is out for an early appearance. He's jovially going around, waving at the seniors, bobbing balloons here and there. I look down and resume eating.
"He's headed this way," my dad says. I look up, and sure enough, he is indeed making his way in our general direction. At about this point in time he sees me.
It should be noted at this point in the story, that I am the youngest thing in the restaurant by a good 25 years (my parents are next - after that, it's geezers), and the closest thing resembling a child, even though I'm 20 at the time.
Barney throws out his arms and gallops toward me. Not a run, not a little jog, but a gallop. Seriously. Silverware is shaking on tables. My water looks like the famous coffee cup in "Jurassic Park." My parents are seized with paroxysms of laughter. I, on the other hand, am frozen in shock...watching my impending humiliation approach.
Barney reaches me and throws his purple carpeted arms around me in an embrace. He smells like mothballs and urine. Nasty. He puts his head on top of mine and makes an exaggerated slurping noise that I can only imagine is supposed to represent a kiss. I become acutely aware that all eyes in the room are on me. Still - for some reason - I am frozen. I am a statue. The only thought running through my head is, "don't look at him. Look straight ahead. Keep still. Ignore him and he will leave. The sooner he leaves, the better. Ignore him." And so, I am totally rigid in my seat, frozen and unwilling to even make eye contact with my purple attacker.
Faced with my stony response, Barney backs up, puts his fists to his eyes, and acts like he's crying. From somewhere in the peanut gallery, I hear an "aaaawwwwww...." Damn geezers should mind their business.
Barney makes a second pass. He bobs my balloon, does a little jig, and goes in for a second mothball-smelling hug and kiss. Still, I am unwavering. My parents have lost control at this point. They are laughing too hard to help me.
Barney backs up and cries again. This time, from several points, I hear jeers. "BOOOO!!!!!" I can't believe it, these old people are booing me.
Now Barney gets brave. He picks up my fork (I'm still frozen), scoops up a forkful of now congealed macaroni and cheese, and attempts to feed it to me. Like "open the hangar and let in the airplane" style. I, on the other hand, have no intention of being fed by Barney. Have you seen "Aliens"? You know the scene where Sigourney Weaver is in that yellow robot suit, and the creature is trying to hit her with its little "shoot out really fast and kill you" set of teeth, and she's turning her head from side to side, as the creature's teeth keep shooting at her? It was like that, but with Barney instead of the alien. And cold macaroni instead of teeth. Still, I resisted - and Barney put the fork back on my plate.
Barney, sensing the weight of the crowd behind him from before, turns around to face them and does a little "raise the roof" type gesture. The jeering intensifies, and some crusty old fart actually throws his napkin at me. The Geritol posse must be having a field day watching the young whippersnapper getting tortured. This is apparently more fun than bingo night for them.
Barney then grabs the fork again and makes another pass. This time, I realize that I am defeated. Barney, apparently, will not leave me alone no matter how much I try to pretend he's not there and this isn't happening. I have to submit. Only then will he leave.
So I eat the macaroni and cheese he offers me. Off the fork. Held in his smelly purple mitt. It's cold and slimy and tastes of humility and defeat, but I choke it down. The peanut gallery cheers. Barney gives me a hug and kiss and galumphs off somewhere else.
I don't remember much after that, honestly. That was so traumatizing that everything immediately after is sort of a blur. I think we just finished our meal and left.
I was mortified. My parents and about 20 old people enjoyed it immensely.
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Arundel Pajo
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Another incident also springs immediately to mind, though this one is not as long and elaborate.
I was driving home from work one day, when I felt the sensation of something crawling on the back of my right thigh, in my pants. Up high and kinda on the inside.
Alarmed, my first instict was to swat at the feeling, and this was exactly what I did. My squashing gesture was met by a rather sickening crunch, and the unmistakable realization that there was now an ex-insect of some considerable mass just inside the leg of my boxers.
I shuddered, my hair stood on end, and I made it home as quickly as possible. On the way, I was now noticing a rather painful sensation right around that area. I reached down between my leg and the seat and felt around. There was a lump that I could feel through my jeans that was painful to touch.
I got home, ran to my room, shut the door, and dropped trou. The remains of a garden spider were there in my pants (whew, not poisonous!), and I tried to find the lump.
So there I am...standing in the middle of my room, naked from the waist down, with my pants around the ankles, hands prodding at my inner thigh, and sight firmly fixed on that general "area."
Perfect time for my housemate to open the door and barge in without so much as a knock. Of course.
So, with a shocked look on his face, and me shouting "SHUT THE DOOR, FOR FUCK'S SAKE SHUT THE DOOR," the door is shut, and I am left alone to pull my pants up.
Now, being thoroughly humiliated, I decide the best course of action is just to act normal and blow this off. Don't address it, pretend it was just "one of those things."
About a year later, a few friends (housemate included) and I are having a drink at the bar, and we get to telling crawly insect stories. I relate mine, and my housemate pipes in that he thought he had caught me "roughing up the suspect," if you know what I mean.
*sigh* Can't a man inspect his groinal area for painful insect bites in peace? It was bad enough that I practically had to sit on a donut for a week after that.
I was driving home from work one day, when I felt the sensation of something crawling on the back of my right thigh, in my pants. Up high and kinda on the inside.
Alarmed, my first instict was to swat at the feeling, and this was exactly what I did. My squashing gesture was met by a rather sickening crunch, and the unmistakable realization that there was now an ex-insect of some considerable mass just inside the leg of my boxers.
I shuddered, my hair stood on end, and I made it home as quickly as possible. On the way, I was now noticing a rather painful sensation right around that area. I reached down between my leg and the seat and felt around. There was a lump that I could feel through my jeans that was painful to touch.
I got home, ran to my room, shut the door, and dropped trou. The remains of a garden spider were there in my pants (whew, not poisonous!), and I tried to find the lump.
So there I am...standing in the middle of my room, naked from the waist down, with my pants around the ankles, hands prodding at my inner thigh, and sight firmly fixed on that general "area."
Perfect time for my housemate to open the door and barge in without so much as a knock. Of course.
So, with a shocked look on his face, and me shouting "SHUT THE DOOR, FOR FUCK'S SAKE SHUT THE DOOR," the door is shut, and I am left alone to pull my pants up.
Now, being thoroughly humiliated, I decide the best course of action is just to act normal and blow this off. Don't address it, pretend it was just "one of those things."
About a year later, a few friends (housemate included) and I are having a drink at the bar, and we get to telling crawly insect stories. I relate mine, and my housemate pipes in that he thought he had caught me "roughing up the suspect," if you know what I mean.
*sigh* Can't a man inspect his groinal area for painful insect bites in peace? It was bad enough that I practically had to sit on a donut for a week after that.
Hawking - 80 Necromancer, AOC Mannannan server, TELoE
Also currently enjoying Left 4 Dead on XBL.
Also currently enjoying Left 4 Dead on XBL.
Does it have to be something embarrasing that happened to me? I don't have many other than the standard me getting tossing drunk and puking all over my friend/mom/pet/limo driver stories. Though I have some corkers that happened to other people when I was around.
There was one time, when a very good friend of mine first started dating this guy. Anyway this guy had a roomate and I was single at the time so all three of us were out one night and this guy was talking up his roomate to us about what a great guy he is and how cool he was and everything, trying to get me interested. So anyway he was like 'hey he is probably home right now let's go back to our apartment and we can all do something.'
So we head off to this guy's apartment in Gastown. Were going down the hall to his apartment and this guy is still going on "oh you're going to love him he is the coolest guy I know yadda yadda" and he unlocks his door and swings it open.
There is his roomate, fast asleep on the sofa, bare chest, pants around his ankles and a porn magazine in his hand. The guy has whacked off, ejaculated all over his chest and stomach and fallen asleep. He was still holding his now flaccid cock in his other hand. He opens his eyes and the first thing he sees are three people gawking at him in what I can only imagine were horrified expressions. He smiles, then it dawns him exactly what condition he is in. He jumped up off the sofa so fast he just about hit the ceiling. I started laughing; I couldn't help it. The poor bastard.
I never saw either of those two guys again.
There was one time, when a very good friend of mine first started dating this guy. Anyway this guy had a roomate and I was single at the time so all three of us were out one night and this guy was talking up his roomate to us about what a great guy he is and how cool he was and everything, trying to get me interested. So anyway he was like 'hey he is probably home right now let's go back to our apartment and we can all do something.'
So we head off to this guy's apartment in Gastown. Were going down the hall to his apartment and this guy is still going on "oh you're going to love him he is the coolest guy I know yadda yadda" and he unlocks his door and swings it open.
There is his roomate, fast asleep on the sofa, bare chest, pants around his ankles and a porn magazine in his hand. The guy has whacked off, ejaculated all over his chest and stomach and fallen asleep. He was still holding his now flaccid cock in his other hand. He opens his eyes and the first thing he sees are three people gawking at him in what I can only imagine were horrified expressions. He smiles, then it dawns him exactly what condition he is in. He jumped up off the sofa so fast he just about hit the ceiling. I started laughing; I couldn't help it. The poor bastard.
I never saw either of those two guys again.
Why? was there a picture of you involved Shaerra? If So there would be no guard rail high enough!Shaerra wrote:Is the guy still alive, or did he throw himself off a bridge after this incident?The guy has whacked off, ejaculated all over his chest and stomach and fallen asleep. He was still holding his now flaccid cock in his other hand.
This probably wont have the same effect as the other stories, seeing that you guys dont know me well and im kind of a noob to VV.
Anyway. Me and my dad went canoe camping at Lake Ozette, Washington if any of you know where it is. Good father and son bonding time...Just letting loose and having fun. So we decide to go for a hike one day in the backwoods, out to the ocean. The hike is about 8 miles, but i think thats irrelevant to my story here.
We finally get out to the ocean, and start throwing the frisbee and running around like a bunch of tards that just got released from the mental hostpital. Dad decides we should eat, seeing that we're pretty damn hungry. After lunch we start walking down the beach and i think "Damn, i really gotta take a shit..." No outhouses in sight, and just beach for miles. I'm thinking "Hell, what are the chances of another person seeing me? So i walk up to the top near where the woods start, hop on a log, drop my pants and begin to excrete the fecal matter from my body. Shortly after i begin my relaxing little poo session with the Pacific Ocean in front of me, I see a whole group of people come around a point about 500 yards to the right of me. Then im like "Oh shit..." So they keep getting closer, not noticing me. I start to panic. Theyre about 200 feet away. My dumbass dad forgot to pack toilet paper, so i pull my pants, and in the process get shit all over my hands and its smeared all over the shorts im wearing. They see me, about 50 feet away. I start to run, obviously embarassed. One problem: I forgot to button my shorts. I trip on a rock, fall, and break my arm. The worst part: my shorts fell down too..
So here I am lying face down on a beach, with my pants down, shit all over my shirt, hands, and ass, yelling about my broken arm. The whole group of about 30 is laughing their asses off. They can hardly walk becaues they're laughing so hard...One of them was a doctor, and made a little makeshift cast for me and after that was done i went to go clean myself up in the ocean. In the meantime, my dad made friends with a few people in the group. Not only does he have more hippy tree-hugger friends, they know about this and will be able to remind him of it.
About 3 months later, i find the story published in a local newspaper that he sent to me, in the funny stories section. In my rage, I nearly broke my dads arm because of the nelson i put him in...
Damn, i better get those VV's now. My girlfriend dosent even know this story.
Anyway. Me and my dad went canoe camping at Lake Ozette, Washington if any of you know where it is. Good father and son bonding time...Just letting loose and having fun. So we decide to go for a hike one day in the backwoods, out to the ocean. The hike is about 8 miles, but i think thats irrelevant to my story here.
We finally get out to the ocean, and start throwing the frisbee and running around like a bunch of tards that just got released from the mental hostpital. Dad decides we should eat, seeing that we're pretty damn hungry. After lunch we start walking down the beach and i think "Damn, i really gotta take a shit..." No outhouses in sight, and just beach for miles. I'm thinking "Hell, what are the chances of another person seeing me? So i walk up to the top near where the woods start, hop on a log, drop my pants and begin to excrete the fecal matter from my body. Shortly after i begin my relaxing little poo session with the Pacific Ocean in front of me, I see a whole group of people come around a point about 500 yards to the right of me. Then im like "Oh shit..." So they keep getting closer, not noticing me. I start to panic. Theyre about 200 feet away. My dumbass dad forgot to pack toilet paper, so i pull my pants, and in the process get shit all over my hands and its smeared all over the shorts im wearing. They see me, about 50 feet away. I start to run, obviously embarassed. One problem: I forgot to button my shorts. I trip on a rock, fall, and break my arm. The worst part: my shorts fell down too..
So here I am lying face down on a beach, with my pants down, shit all over my shirt, hands, and ass, yelling about my broken arm. The whole group of about 30 is laughing their asses off. They can hardly walk becaues they're laughing so hard...One of them was a doctor, and made a little makeshift cast for me and after that was done i went to go clean myself up in the ocean. In the meantime, my dad made friends with a few people in the group. Not only does he have more hippy tree-hugger friends, they know about this and will be able to remind him of it.
About 3 months later, i find the story published in a local newspaper that he sent to me, in the funny stories section. In my rage, I nearly broke my dads arm because of the nelson i put him in...
Damn, i better get those VV's now. My girlfriend dosent even know this story.
i am a liberal.
Well, this isn't an award-winning embarrassment by any means...
But I have this... friend...who got really drunk at my house this weekend and puked all over my carpet (after I'd gone to bed). Then he snuck off in the morning before I was awake to discover the incriminating pile of chunky puke.
I'd be pretty embarrassed to be that guy!
And yes... he frequents these boards.
And is in big BIG trouble.
But I have this... friend...who got really drunk at my house this weekend and puked all over my carpet (after I'd gone to bed). Then he snuck off in the morning before I was awake to discover the incriminating pile of chunky puke.
I'd be pretty embarrassed to be that guy!
And yes... he frequents these boards.
And is in big BIG trouble.
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Dregor Thule
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Dregor Thule
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Technically he never said you weren't! Just that you were asleep when the puker left the premises.Sirensa wrote:Uhh no I was awake and standing next to you when you discovered it...Sylvos wrote:Nope not Sylvos, Sylvos managed to step in it and discover the vomit on the floor not SIX FEET FROM THE BATHROOM.
Fortunately for the phantom puker, he left our house without cleaning it up before Sirensa awoke.
Oh right.. yeah.Dregor Thule wrote:Technically he never said you weren't! Just that you were asleep when the puker left the premises.Sirensa wrote:Uhh no I was awake and standing next to you when you discovered it...Sylvos wrote:Nope not Sylvos, Sylvos managed to step in it and discover the vomit on the floor not SIX FEET FROM THE BATHROOM.
Fortunately for the phantom puker, he left our house without cleaning it up before Sirensa awoke.
I misread that remembering that he fake lied to my brother to get him to clean it up that he better do it before I wake up and kick his ass...
Either way, some severe ass kicking is due I believe. Mmhmm yup!
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Sylvos
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Not only did i tell steven you didn't know, I also made him clean up the beer spilled on our coffee table left overnight, re-arrange the couch cushions, take the garbage out, and clean the puke up cause i'll be god damned if im gonna clean up that shit when one of the two partners in crime are still in bed^^.
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Arundel Pajo
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Thank you kindly! Glad you sought humour in my humiliation!Ceredwin wrote:Whether you win or not, the Barney story deserved a donation. Enjoy, Arundel.
Moozilla, I am speechless.
Thankfully, it's been long enough since that incident that I can look back on it and laugh about it, too...
Hawking - 80 Necromancer, AOC Mannannan server, TELoE
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Also currently enjoying Left 4 Dead on XBL.
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Arundel Pajo
- Almost 1337
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One more for your amusement, too:
The old house I used to live in (with the above mentioned housemate) while finishing up my degree was a pit. Totally unfit for living, but we had some really great parties there.
Anyway, our parties tended to end up with lots of drunken naked people - guys and gals alike.
One summer, we were having a 4th of July grill-out and party. We had a ton of explosives, food, lots of booze, watermelons to blow up, a dance floor since all parties devolved into dance parties...
About halfway into the party, many people were already in an advanced state of inebriation and nudity. People are dancing topless in the living room, and my three of my friends - two male and one female - are out front, stark naked, chasing pickup trucks down the street.
So I'm sitting in my room, chatting up this girl, when my housemate knocks on the door and asks to borrow my digital camera to shoot some pictures. "Sure," I said, and handed him the camera, not thinking anything of it.
About 10 minutes later, just as my conversation starts to get interesting, the door to my room slams open. In barge my two naked male friends from out front, with my housemate right behind them clicking pictures with my camera like a madman.
These two sweaty naked guys grab me and wrestle me onto my bed, all the while with me struggling and fighting to get up...and my housemate clicking pictures.
I'm pretty sure the pics are still up on the internet. They're actually really funny. You can see me struggling with two naked grown men grabbing my legs and forcing me down...and two girls in the room laughing hysterically.
Damn, I wanted to kill them. I wanted to kill them all......
The old house I used to live in (with the above mentioned housemate) while finishing up my degree was a pit. Totally unfit for living, but we had some really great parties there.
Anyway, our parties tended to end up with lots of drunken naked people - guys and gals alike.
One summer, we were having a 4th of July grill-out and party. We had a ton of explosives, food, lots of booze, watermelons to blow up, a dance floor since all parties devolved into dance parties...
About halfway into the party, many people were already in an advanced state of inebriation and nudity. People are dancing topless in the living room, and my three of my friends - two male and one female - are out front, stark naked, chasing pickup trucks down the street.
So I'm sitting in my room, chatting up this girl, when my housemate knocks on the door and asks to borrow my digital camera to shoot some pictures. "Sure," I said, and handed him the camera, not thinking anything of it.
About 10 minutes later, just as my conversation starts to get interesting, the door to my room slams open. In barge my two naked male friends from out front, with my housemate right behind them clicking pictures with my camera like a madman.
These two sweaty naked guys grab me and wrestle me onto my bed, all the while with me struggling and fighting to get up...and my housemate clicking pictures.
I'm pretty sure the pics are still up on the internet. They're actually really funny. You can see me struggling with two naked grown men grabbing my legs and forcing me down...and two girls in the room laughing hysterically.
Damn, I wanted to kill them. I wanted to kill them all......
Hawking - 80 Necromancer, AOC Mannannan server, TELoE
Also currently enjoying Left 4 Dead on XBL.
Also currently enjoying Left 4 Dead on XBL.
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*~*stragi*~*
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kyoukan wrote:Does it have to be something embarrasing that happened to me? I don't have many other than the standard me getting tossing drunk and puking all over my friend/mom/pet/limo driver stories. Though I have some corkers that happened to other people when I was around.
There was one time, when a very good friend of mine first started dating this guy. Anyway this guy had a roomate and I was single at the time so all three of us were out one night and this guy was talking up his roomate to us about what a great guy he is and how cool he was and everything, trying to get me interested. So anyway he was like 'hey he is probably home right now let's go back to our apartment and we can all do something.'
So we head off to this guy's apartment in Gastown. Were going down the hall to his apartment and this guy is still going on "oh you're going to love him he is the coolest guy I know yadda yadda" and he unlocks his door and swings it open.
There is his roomate, fast asleep on the sofa, bare chest, pants around his ankles and a porn magazine in his hand. The guy has whacked off, ejaculated all over his chest and stomach and fallen asleep. He was still holding his now flaccid cock in his other hand. He opens his eyes and the first thing he sees are three people gawking at him in what I can only imagine were horrified expressions. He smiles, then it dawns him exactly what condition he is in. He jumped up off the sofa so fast he just about hit the ceiling. I started laughing; I couldn't help it. The poor bastard.
I never saw either of those two guys again.
was he big?
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Sylvus
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The shame is that you're so judgmental, kyou!
I mean, who hasn't passed out, in full view of whoever will walk into the house, right after jerking off all over themself? That doesn't make him a bad guy. If I had a nickel...
I mean, who hasn't passed out, in full view of whoever will walk into the house, right after jerking off all over themself? That doesn't make him a bad guy. If I had a nickel...
"It's like these guys take pride in being ignorant." - Barack Obama
Go Blue!
Go Blue!
Off-topic and sorta irrelevant...But i think it kinda fits in with the whole theme of this thread.
http://www.freewebs.com/reverendbeastly/guts.htm - NWS. (Contains sexual stuff)
Stupid kids
http://www.freewebs.com/reverendbeastly/guts.htm - NWS. (Contains sexual stuff)
Stupid kids
i am a liberal.
Two years ago me and a GF went to my familys place in spain for 2 weeks. It was around 5pm (siesta time over there) so we decided to go down to the beach, and engage in a romantic activity in a small section of the beach behind a cliff. A good 2 minutes later a man and his two kids (no older then 6-10ish) stumbled apon my bare ass as i got her from behind. The expression on all 5 of our faces was rediculous. We quickly stood up, and walked away as fast as we could, butt ass naked in the opposite direction, actually now that i look back at it, it was pretty damn funny...kind 
-xzionis human mage on mannoroth
-zeltharath tauren shaman on wildhammer
-zeltharath tauren shaman on wildhammer
LMAO, for some reason that story is fucking pricelesskyoukan wrote:Does it have to be something embarrasing that happened to me? I don't have many other than the standard me getting tossing drunk and puking all over my friend/mom/pet/limo driver stories. Though I have some corkers that happened to other people when I was around.
There was one time, when a very good friend of mine first started dating this guy. Anyway this guy had a roomate and I was single at the time so all three of us were out one night and this guy was talking up his roomate to us about what a great guy he is and how cool he was and everything, trying to get me interested. So anyway he was like 'hey he is probably home right now let's go back to our apartment and we can all do something.'
So we head off to this guy's apartment in Gastown. Were going down the hall to his apartment and this guy is still going on "oh you're going to love him he is the coolest guy I know yadda yadda" and he unlocks his door and swings it open.
There is his roomate, fast asleep on the sofa, bare chest, pants around his ankles and a porn magazine in his hand. The guy has whacked off, ejaculated all over his chest and stomach and fallen asleep. He was still holding his now flaccid cock in his other hand. He opens his eyes and the first thing he sees are three people gawking at him in what I can only imagine were horrified expressions. He smiles, then it dawns him exactly what condition he is in. He jumped up off the sofa so fast he just about hit the ceiling. I started laughing; I couldn't help it. The poor bastard.
I never saw either of those two guys again.
-xzionis human mage on mannoroth
-zeltharath tauren shaman on wildhammer
-zeltharath tauren shaman on wildhammer
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Canelek
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So you know, I was not the last to leave the house....
Ok, here is the rundown:
I left around 5:30a
I never passed out, nor puked, nor did anything else strange...
However, there was still one person left....
It was not the necro either. Don't blame that shit on me, I may fall down stairs but I do not fuck carpet up!
Ok, here is the rundown:
I left around 5:30a
I never passed out, nor puked, nor did anything else strange...
However, there was still one person left....
It was not the necro either.
Don't blame that shit on me, I may fall down stairs but I do not fuck carpet up! en kærlighed småkager
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*~*stragi*~*
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