Movie to Avoid

noel · Post by **noel** » September 21, 2002, 1:24 pm

Last night I went with a friend to see Ballistic: Ekks vs. Sevver.

The movie obviously didn't look like Oscar material, but I thought it might be fun in a campy/comic booky kind of way.

Instead, it was a huge piece of shit that lacked anything resemling a story, or good acting. I highly recommend you all avoid it like the plague.

Peace.

Skunki · Post by **Skunki** » September 21, 2002, 1:33 pm

even if they were flinging poo at each other it would be worth seeing! lucy liu is wowowowowowoowowowowow!

noel · Post by **noel** » September 21, 2002, 1:48 pm

I thought that too.

PhyscoBloodspiller · September 21, 2002, 2:29 pm

Heh, last night I saw it and it rocked, because canadian guards of that guy (gat?) died!

PhyscoBloodspiller · September 21, 2002, 2:29 pm

AVOID STEALING HARVARD

noel · Post by **noel** » September 21, 2002, 5:49 pm

ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER. DO YOU SPEAK IT?

Katria · Post by **Katria** » September 23, 2002, 1:28 pm

No movie in existance can be any worse than Brotherhood of the Suck. I mean, Brotherhood of the Wolf. If it were a woman, you'd never make it to work because it sucks so much.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » September 23, 2002, 1:29 pm

One Hour Photo was pretty damn good

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » September 23, 2002, 1:30 pm

Wasn't brotherhood of the wolf a french movie set in late 1790's? Subtitled and all that? I remember wanting to see that but never got around to it.

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 23, 2002, 1:33 pm

Katria wrote:No movie in existance can be any worse than Brotherhood of the Suck. I mean, Brotherhood of the Wolf. If it were a woman, you'd never make it to work because it sucks so much.

Any Woody Allen movie sucks worse. I had an english teacher in college that threatened to flunk me because I told her Woody sucked. It's not highbrow humor. It sucks.

Bring it on Woody lovers!

Post by **Xouqoa** » September 23, 2002, 1:38 pm

Brotherhood of the Wolf wasn't terrible, I didn't think. Not great, but it was entertaining. And yes, it was subtitled... spoken language was French.

I went and saw The Four Feathers on Friday (Do I get bonus points for using alliteration?) and it wasn't bad either.. I thought it looked pretty lame, but it was decent.

Cotto · Post by **Cotto** » September 23, 2002, 1:51 pm

The Bourne Identity was good. Went to see it on Saturday. It's not the type of film I like, but I'm sure as hell glad I saw it. Thinking of buying the book too cause I'm sure theres stuff the film skipped over.

Brotherhood of the Wang should not have been allowed to conceive in the mind of any being that did not come from the world of eternal hell and Carry On films

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » September 23, 2002, 2:06 pm

I got some DVDs in the mail on Saturday. Snatch and Panic Room. Snatch, I have seen and loed it , that's why I bought it. But Panic Room was kind of a chance. I got it because Fincher is fucking awsome (Seven, The Game, Fight Club).

I'll post a review after I watch it.

Btw, thanks for the heads up. That's one I probably woulda gone to see with your exact expectations.

Bourne Identity was too fucking long and it didn't have enough action to break it up. What action it did have was good though.

Brotherhood of the Wolf. I remember wanting to see that.

noel · Post by **noel** » September 23, 2002, 2:16 pm

I liked The Bourne Identity. It seemed to focus more on story than on action, which was a nice change. I did notice the lack of action, but the action that was there was quite well done.

Post by **Xouqoa** » September 23, 2002, 2:17 pm

Panic Room is cool, too.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » September 23, 2002, 2:25 pm

I like the Bourne Identity though I remember thinking when it ended that it really didn't explain his part in the grand sceme of things too well. I mean, I understood it but I think they could have elaborated on it a bit more and a bit more early in the film.

Now, The Tuxedo is coming out soon. While I am a big Jackie Chan fan and will drool as much if not more over JLH, I am not sure I want to see this film.

Same thing with that new movie with Owens and Eddie Murphy. I like them both but think this film will be a flop.

Knockaround Guys looks awesome imho. I am eager for that to come out.

Fallanthas · Post by **Fallanthas** » September 23, 2002, 2:25 pm

Skip reading the Bourne Identity or any other Ludlum book, for that matter.

When the man learns that mashing the ! key a couple times at the end of each sentence does not equal suspense, he might become a decent writer.

As he is, it's like chatting with someone who puts 'LOL' or 'hehe' at the end of every sentence. Annoying as hell.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 23, 2002, 2:28 pm

Three Words,

Fuck Mr. Deeds!

That movie was the collection of all that should NOT be in an Adam Sandler movie, the only thing missing were the fucking accents in his other two shit filled romps through tinseltown. (Lil'Nicky and Waterboy, yes thats right Waterboy).

noel · Post by **noel** » September 23, 2002, 2:29 pm

Jennifer Love-Hewitt = Love

OMG!! It's Franky fuckin' Four Fingers! You know, Franky 'I have a problem with gambling' Four fingers. He makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he loses, they give him the chop. And I ain't talking about his foreskin either!

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » September 23, 2002, 2:46 pm

On the plus side, Flesh Hunter 3 was a visual masterpiece. There are some excellent perfomances throughout this uplifting film from Evil Angel and directer Jules Jordon. I'll review Trained Teens once I get the DVD. I have feeling it will be an excellent movie as well! Possibly enough to top the greatness of Ass Worship II? Only time will tell...

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » September 23, 2002, 2:53 pm

Hey Mickey! Why would I wanna buy a caravan if it aint got no fuckin wheels?!

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » September 23, 2002, 4:52 pm

Sweet avatar Zamtuk.

More Snatch avatars!

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 23, 2002, 4:56 pm

Benecio was cooler in Fear and Loathing...

Keverian FireCry · September 23, 2002, 11:11 pm

That ballistic movie was directed by 'Kaos'...sooo 13 yearold AOL hackers are directing movies now? wow fucking brilliant

Keverian FireCry · September 23, 2002, 11:12 pm

oh and http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/Ballist ... r-1116131/

amazing rating it has

Searyx · Post by **Searyx** » September 24, 2002, 2:00 am

Annie Hall, Manhattan, Husbands & Wives, Deconstructing Harry, Mighty Aphrodite?

Woody Allen > All

Winnow · Post by **Winnow** » September 24, 2002, 2:26 am

Searyx wrote:Annie Hall, Manhattan, Husbands & Wives, Deconstructing Harry, Mighty Aphrodite?

Woody Allen > All

You're probably a Michael Bolton Fan as well.

Cotto · Post by **Cotto** » September 24, 2002, 6:38 am

Well go on...before Ze Germanz get Ere

Searyx · Post by **Searyx** » September 24, 2002, 12:26 pm

Actually, Michael Bolton sucks big dick.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » September 24, 2002, 12:29 pm

I don't care formost of Woody Allen stuff. An Ex of mine used to love that shit so I would watch the movies with her. I did enjoy Purple Rose of Cairo however

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » September 24, 2002, 12:48 pm

I liked Sleeper.

Vorph · Post by **Vorph** » September 25, 2002, 1:17 am

Katria wrote:No movie in existance can be any worse than Brotherhood of the Suck. I mean, Brotherhood of the Wolf. If it were a woman, you'd never make it to work because it sucks so much.

You people have been spammed by Searyx for too long and lost your minds, Brotherhood of the Wolf is by far the best movie I've seen this year. The story, the action, and the cinematography are simply incredible... usually subtitles start to bug me after about an hour, let alone 2.5 hours, but I didn't even notice 'em at all here.

Sadly the US version out next Tues isn't the same as the good French version released last year... it's just a plain 1 disc with few special features.

Maybe if it had gotten the promotion that piece of shit CTHD did, they would have been able to release the real DVD translated to English.

--V.

Aruman · Post by **Aruman** » September 25, 2002, 2:35 am

Brotherhood of the Wolf was a great movie.

Not going to knock people for not liking it though.

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 25, 2002, 3:34 am

Searyx wrote:Actually, Michael Bolton sucks big dick.

So... you are a fan?

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » September 25, 2002, 3:57 pm

None of these looked to be all that great...at least not good enough of a movie to buy. I think the only movie that was not a letdown to see that had any hype at all in the last few years was LOTR. Most of the rest of the crap was not even worth wading through the shallow end of the gene pool that generally frequents movie theaters to see. Of the last 10 movies I have seen in a theater, only LOTR, The Rookie, and Southpark left me feeling like I didn't just get anally raped with a George Lucas bobblehead doll.

Next movie I think I will even bother with in the theater would be LOTR 2....and this one promises to be much better than the first if possible. This new crap only forces me to Media Play in search of the real classics....when the fuck is Sixteen Candles going to hit DVD anyway?

Searyx · Post by **Searyx** » September 25, 2002, 10:32 pm

anally raped with a George Lucas bobblehead doll

I don't remember that option in the owners manual...

Overcreativity can be a curse.

Aslanna · Post by **Aslanna** » November 15, 2002, 10:42 am

Just watched Brotherhood of the Wolf the other day and remembered this thread. I didn't think it sucked. I think they tried a little too hard to stylize things with the slow-mo breaks but towards the second half and beyond they seemed to not show up as much.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » November 15, 2002, 12:30 pm

The suck movie of the last 2 months had to be Windtalkers. this could have been a very solid movie if anyone with half a damn clue had made it. This guy should be banned from ever making another war movie ever again. The special effects were absolutely TERRIBLE. And the score was incredibly mismatched. You don't play happy upbeat music when there is an ugly battle going on and everyone in your platoon is dying. Jesus.

On the upnote, We Were Soldiers may be one of the best war movies produced in the last 10 years. It makes Platoon look cheesy. Only Full Metal Jacket can compare to it in my book. (Apologies to Apocolypse Now and The Big Red One)

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » November 15, 2002, 12:33 pm

The suck movie of the last 2 months had to be Windtalkers. this could have been a very solid movie if anyone with half a damn clue had made it. This guy should be banned from ever making another war movie ever again. The special effects were absolutely TERRIBLE. And the score was incredibly mismatched. You don't play happy upbeat music when there is an ugly battle going on and everyone in your platoon is dying. Jesus.

On the upnote, We Were Soldiers may be one of the best war movies produced in the last 10 years. It makes Platoon look cheesy. Only Full Metal Jacket can compare to it in my book. (Apologies to Apocolypse Now and The Big Red One)

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » November 15, 2002, 12:35 pm

BotW is a french movie, if you're used to american action type movies you will be dissappionted with action in BotW. It's just different.

I watched it with subtitles, then dubbed, then I watched deleted scenes.
While I, being european, understand the directors arguments for leaving those scenes out, I think an average american movie goer would much more enjoyed it with those scenes included.

For some reason I enjoyed more the original version with subtitles, than with voice overs. The lead female is a young girl and her english voice sounded sometimes like a 40 year old woman. Just didn't fit well, same for lead male role.

Also it helps if you know and like watching the mentality of people in those times. It all makes sense if you consider how little information people had, there was no radio/TV, rumors started and lingered for years without a way to clear them up, how big influence church had, the witches and witch hunts, mysterious gypsies with their thieving ways. People were basically in the dark.

I enjoyed the story very much. This movie is way up there for me right beside The Name of the Rose, the Joan of Ark movies, Crucible and so on.

Whew, sorry for rambling so much, hope I didn't spoil anything for those who haven't seen it.

Post by **Sylvus** » November 15, 2002, 12:36 pm

I think the shittiest post lately has to be the sequel to Kilmoll's first post. It was derivative and too similar to the original. I have to give it thumbs down.

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » November 15, 2002, 2:27 pm

Kilmoll the Sexy wrote:On the upnote, We Were Soldiers may be one of the best war movies produced in the last 10 years. It makes Platoon look cheesy. Only Full Metal Jacket can compare to it in my book. (Apologies to Apocolypse Now and The Big Red One)

You are 100 percent correct. We Were Soldiers (or any Mel Gibson war movie for that matter) was another solid war movie with excellent sount to match it. It may have came out in a time when cheesy war movies were all the rave (READ: Windtalkers, Behind Enemy Lines, et al) but I believe it stood out from the rest.

Post by **Xouqoa** » November 15, 2002, 2:55 pm

Behind Enemy Lines wasn't really intended to be a war movie I don't think. It's much more of an action movie. Windtalkers was pretty bad.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » November 15, 2002, 3:17 pm

We recently rented both Windtalkers and We Were Soldiers on the same night. Luckily we watched We Were Soldiers first. That movie was very well done and was an impressive piece of work. Then I put in Windtalkers and thought, "WTF". Cage never was one of my favorite actors but I gave him another chance when he did movies like, The Rock, Face Off, and Con Air. All his other stuff was pretty crappy imho.

Windtalkers makes Cage look like he is some kind of super soldier that can't be killed. Slater was pretty cool in the movie though. I think if Cage would have been replaced with say, George Cloony, then the film might have made it. I was surprised that John Woo would make this a crappy film.

Other war movies of note: Any big movie like Tora Tora Tora or Midway really rock. Hamburger Hill wasn't bad. Thin Red Line sucked hardcore. The sub movie U581? was really good.

Fairweather Pure · Post by **Fairweather Pure** » November 15, 2002, 3:26 pm

Das Boot is another good war movie.

Behind Enemy Lines was more like Top Gun. ie: entertainment

Blackhawk down was very good, and who could ever forget Saving Private Ryan or The Deer Hunter?

On the subject of We Were Soldiers, Columbia House sent me that because I did't send in my little card on time, and I kept it. I haven't watched it yet, but all your opinions are making me look forward to it. I'm happy I kept it now.

Btw, The Thin Red Line was fantastic IMO. It was great in a very indirect way, taking the subtleties and undercurrents from great modern cinema war movies like Apocolypse Now and Platoon, and bringing them to the fore. I think most people were dissappointed that it wasn't like Saving Private Ryan. To me, that difference is what made it so good. Both movies had a large impact on me even though they were very different.

Bubba Grizz · Post by **Bubba Grizz** » November 15, 2002, 4:08 pm

The thing I didn't like about Thin Red Line was that it felt like they had to throw in as many big name actors as they could. The storyline was hard to follow and things were too chaotic to understand. The odd thing is, I enjoyed the black and white version.

Drolgin Steingrinder · November 15, 2002, 5:27 pm

Das Boot is one of the best warmovies ever. Make sure to watch the full length one - you can't go wrong with 4+ hours of wet, scared Germans.

Oh and you yanks: make sure to watch it with subtitles, Jürgen Prochnow dubbed to some semi-southern drawl is bad, k?

"ALAAAAAAAAAAARM! ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARM! TIEFWASSERBOMBE!

Ahh, april april Männer, Übung ist das halbe Leben"

Zamtuk · Post by **Zamtuk** » November 15, 2002, 5:46 pm

Braveheart is still the best war movie period.

Black Hawk Down was a great movie however it was terribly inaccurate, and for something portraying an incident that is a shade under a decade, accuracy is key. Still a good movie none the less.