Plot Summary for Constantine (2004)
Based on the DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer and written by Kevin Brodbin, Mark Bomback and Frank Capello, Constantine tells the story of irreverent supernatural detective John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), who has literally been to hell and back. When Constantine teams up with skeptical policewoman Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) to solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister (also played by Weisz), their investigation takes them through the world of demons and angels that exists just beneath the landscape of contemporary Los Angeles. Caught in a catastrophic series of otherworldy events, the two become inextricably involved and seek to find their own peace at whatever cost.
What the FUCK are they smoking? The single coolest, most nihilistic, most British, most kick-you-in-the-bollocks-while-laughing-at-you, BASTARD...and they cast Keanu Reeves?
No, wait, let me go over this again: John Constantine, Hellblazer, is a 40+ mid-english asshole with a drinking problem who smokes 2 packs of Silk Cut every day. He routinely fucks over his friends as he needs, lives his life on an extremely ragged edge - not the kind of man you want as your friend. In fact, not the sort of man you want to even know of, but if you must, make sure he's on your side and that he doesn't come within half a mile of anyone you care about. And the powers that be in Tinseltown are going to turn him into a good, clean american boy who doesn't smoke or drink...but who knows Kung Fu and goes "woah" every 8 minutes of the movie.
KEANU REEVES?????? ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!
Why not Gary Oldman? Guy Pearce? Jude Law (a la Road to Perdition) ? Robert Carlysle? Hell, I loathe Sean Bean but even he would be better suited, at least he's fucking british.
I imagine Alan Moore - who created the character for SWAMP THING - and Jamie Delano - who perfected him in his run on HELLBLAZER - are both crying themselves to sleep these days. Poor bastards. Hope they get paid well...
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