At will...

Xanupox · Post by **Xanupox** » September 16, 2002, 12:10 pm

Farting at will that is. Three questions...

1) Can YOU do it?

2) When is the most "ripe" time for it, if so?

3) Are you farting now?

I just thought of this topic as I read Thess' above "!" post, it lacked content so I just farted and smelled.. it was rather putrid. I waved my hand furiously in the air admist my face, to no avail. The vapors only swirled throughout my fingers as they soared into my nostrils.

I am gagging.

Xanupox · Post by **Xanupox** » September 16, 2002, 12:13 pm

come on.. 5 people have already viewed this.. release your inhibitions!

I know I know.. I'm a sick bastard.

Post by **Xouqoa** » September 16, 2002, 12:16 pm

I can burp on command, but it takes true talent to fart on command.

Cartalas · Post by **Cartalas** » September 16, 2002, 12:27 pm

Ah Hell I just tried now I have to go home What a mess

Kilmoll the Sexy · September 16, 2002, 12:30 pm

There have been people that can fart on command fort extended periods of time. One of them did it about 75 times ina 3 minute period. I can't imagine having that kind of untapped talent.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » September 16, 2002, 12:32 pm

One must be careful lest o-ring damage may happen.

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » September 16, 2002, 12:33 pm

BLAMMO!! ..damn

Ennia · Post by **Ennia** » September 16, 2002, 12:43 pm

gah this reminds me of a farting contest episode of Howard Stern show lol

disgusting even though they didn't show the poop that hit the floor once

Aabidano · Post by **Aabidano** » September 16, 2002, 12:51 pm

One could almost make a haiku on this subject.

noel · Post by **noel** » September 16, 2002, 1:27 pm

An ass of talent
Watch as it farts on command
Beware the wet ones

*bows*

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » September 16, 2002, 1:54 pm

My ass of fire bright
Lights me up on cloudy day
May I have more beans

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » September 16, 2002, 2:32 pm

Xanupox loves farts.
If only he could sell them
He could make more cash.

Xanupox · Post by **Xanupox** » September 16, 2002, 4:24 pm

Celestial Tomb Inactive Members - Kilmoll The Sexy

I played EQ for 3 years. Never once did I quit the guild-to only later rejoin. (numerous times you have done this) Never once did I goto casual player status. Never once did I go inactive. When my time came, I left and left with no option to return. That was my choice.

Unlike you, Kilmoll who have quit the guild more times than I can count, started more arguements than we care to remember and is known as the "unstable one", by Kyoukan... I think you have little room to talk when it comes to the "guild ethics" department.

There was never any other member of CT who played as hard as I did, to entertain the members of CT and equip them at the rate I did, for the duration that I sustained. Until the day comes where you can even look at the shoes I wore, then you can forget about ever wearing them. I never hid anything I did, it was always plain and open for all to see.

Ebay is something I now encourage, frankly because I am sick of the "I quit I quit", then return to the game 3 months later antics that the majority of the "retirees" players fall under. Ebay is in itself the final release. When the mass exodus of EQ'ers begins to occur, I will be here to see that all of you heritical anti-ebayers hand down all your gear to the "deserving"...

-Xanupox, the El'Ninjabayer

Gnomies · Post by **Gnomies** » September 16, 2002, 4:30 pm

Steps do farting on command..

1. Get on hands and knees.

2. Make your ass point straight to the ceiling.

3. Arch your back.

4. Suck in air, through ass.

5. Release.

6. Enjoy endless hours of airy farts.

Hammerstalker PE · Post by **Hammerstalker PE** » September 16, 2002, 4:33 pm

Celestial Tomb Inactive Members - Kilmoll The Sexy

I played EQ for 3 years. Never once did I quit the guild-to only later rejoin. (numerous times you have done this) Never once did I goto casual player status. Never once did I go inactive. When my time came, I left and left with no option to return. That was my choice.

Unlike you, Kilmoll who have quit the guild more times than I can count, started more arguements than we care to remember and is known as the "unstable one", by Kyoukan... I think you have little room to talk when it comes to the "guild ethics" department.

There was never any other member of CT who played as hard as I did, to entertain the members of CT and equip them at the rate I did, for the duration that I sustained. Until the day comes where you can even look at the shoes I wore, then you can forget about ever wearing them. I never hid anything I did, it was always plain and open for all to see.

Ebay is something I now encourage, frankly because I am sick of the "I quit I quit", then return to the game 3 months later antics that the majority of the "retirees" players fall under. Ebay is in itself the final release. When the mass exodus of EQ'ers begins to occur, I will be here to see that all of you heritical anti-ebayers hand down all your gear to the "deserving"...

-Xanupox, the El'Ninjabayer

WOW he can fart on Command!

Adex_Xeda · Post by **Adex_Xeda** » September 16, 2002, 4:46 pm

I feel it coming
quietly I let it go
wonder if they heard?

noel · Post by **noel** » September 16, 2002, 4:49 pm

Xanupox wrote:Celestial Tomb Inactive Members - Kilmoll The Sexy

I played EQ for 3 years. Never once did I quit the guild-to only later rejoin. (numerous times you have done this) Never once did I goto casual player status. Never once did I go inactive. When my time came, I left and left with no option to return. That was my choice.

Unlike you, Kilmoll who have quit the guild more times than I can count, started more arguements than we care to remember and is known as the "unstable one", by Kyoukan... I think you have little room to talk when it comes to the "guild ethics" department.

There was never any other member of CT who played as hard as I did, to entertain the members of CT and equip them at the rate I did, for the duration that I sustained. Until the day comes where you can even look at the shoes I wore, then you can forget about ever wearing them. I never hid anything I did, it was always plain and open for all to see.

Ebay is something I now encourage, frankly because I am sick of the "I quit I quit", then return to the game 3 months later antics that the majority of the "retirees" players fall under. Ebay is in itself the final release. When the mass exodus of EQ'ers begins to occur, I will be here to see that all of you heritical anti-ebayers hand down all your gear to the "deserving"...

-Xanupox, the El'Ninjabayer

Hey, FUCK YOU, Xan! You wanna bitch about Kilmoll start your own god damn thread! This thread is about fart haiku now!

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » September 16, 2002, 5:34 pm

Oh my...where do I even begin. First with a haiku:

What is that bad smell?
Horrible stench rising fast.
That smell is you, Xan.

"I played EQ for 3 years. Never once did I quit the guild-to only later rejoin. (numerous times you have done this) Never once did I goto casual player status. Never once did I go inactive. When my time came, I left and left with no option to return. That was my choice. "

These hold some truth, just like everything you said for 3 years. You are correct in that I have left the guild numerous times. Twice to be exact. The first time was due to you being a complete moron and inciting a steamroll. The second was about a week ago...and no I have not rejoined.

Yes, you did leave with no option to rejoin. When you ran out of loot to sell.

"Unlike you, Kilmoll who have quit the guild more times than I can count, started more arguements than we care to remember and is known as the "unstable one", by Kyoukan... I think you have little room to talk when it comes to the "guild ethics" department."

Again, somewhat true. I really doubt that you can count past two. I did start many many arguments. Most of which centered around us about to steamroll someone and myself and some others arguing feverishly against it. Jesus, I am a truly unethical person. With the exception of my great friends at CoE, I doubt you can find one single guild on this server that feels threatened if I were to lead someone near a mob they wanted to attempt. And you DON'T even want to talk about stability Tom. I don't claim to be 100% stable, but even I have not posted anyone's phone number on the vault and threated to bring friends from the armed forces to their house. You and Agdarr could form some nutjob mercenary team.

"There was never any other member of CT who played as hard as I did, to entertain the members of CT and equip them at the rate I did, for the duration that I sustained. Until the day comes where you can even look at the shoes I wore, then you can forget about ever wearing them. I never hid anything I did, it was always plain and open for all to see."

You were doing really good here right up until you said you had nothing to hide. How long were you ebaying Tom? It sure as fuck was not after you quit playing. When exactly did you solo Nagafen anyway? I am curious about how you came across 3 cloaks of flame and those incarnadine BPs? You forget that another officer with access to your boards happens to be in the same apartment as me.....do you think we are both complete idiots and have no memories? You had been selling shit for months that did not belong to you. You can sell your own gimp ass anytime you want.....but I will call you on it when you steal from the rest.

I will leave you with another Haiku:

You led many raids.
You helped gear all the people.
Then you turned to shit.

Edit: And before I forget, the only reason I even rejoined the first time was because you begged me to come back and would not let it go. I still have the screenshots on CD.

noel · Post by **noel** » September 16, 2002, 5:42 pm

Heh. I think we have a winner.

Kilmoll, that might be one of the largest cases of pwnage I have ever seen on the vault. Starting and ending it with a haiku was a nice touch too.

Veeshan's glad your gone.
How do you like them apples?
Cocksucking shithead.

Xanupox · Post by **Xanupox** » September 16, 2002, 6:28 pm

The final signs of a complete breakdown on Kilmoll's part.
1) Resort to "cannot count any higher than" remarks.

2) Using other peoples "real life" names on a message board as if it gives you some "mysterious power", (yes my name is, Tom)

3) The "quoting cut/paste" dissection of another post. Just say what you will without trying to be the expert in grammar/guildrelations/and poetry.

The claims of Ebaying, are yet again and as usual.. wrong. I did not ebay a single item before I decided to quit. Unlike you and your reactions, some intelligence was used with my ebaying "antics".

Sell the small stuff for plat, buy highly demanded items with PLAT in game, for LARGER profit outside the game, Ie, Cloak of Flame x3, Cobalt BP x2, but not all of that was from my savy self.

Several items were personal items, believe it or not.. playing EQ for three years, a person CAN accumulate some of thier OWN funds. The ONLY item from the GUILD that I sold was Tormax Boots, compare that to what others have walked away with... and well... I yawn.

=)

kyoukan · Post by **kyoukan** » September 16, 2002, 7:38 pm

Aranuil wrote:Hey, FUCK YOU, Xan! You wanna bitch about Kilmoll start your own god damn thread! This thread is about fart haiku now!

Flatulence, CT guild issues; I fail to see much of a difference.

Minfetter · Post by **Minfetter** » September 16, 2002, 8:11 pm

Ermm... Just to state the obvious. :P Haiku poems have a nice 5/7/5 ring to the verses. :) Not 5/5/5 or 4/6/5

And yes I know that's not what this thread is for. And for the person saying Xan start your own thread (think it was the pink wonderboy).... This is Xan's thread you're responding to hehe

noel · Post by **noel** » September 16, 2002, 8:23 pm

Minfetter wrote:Ermm... Just to state the obvious. Haiku poems have a nice 5/7/5 ring to the verses. Not 5/5/5 or 4/6/5

And yes I know that's not what this thread is for. And for the person saying Xan start your own thread (think it was the pink wonderboy).... This is Xan's thread you're responding to hehe

In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary, 'Come again?'

When I want your opinion on anything, I'll ask for it.

Hammerstalker PE · Post by **Hammerstalker PE** » September 16, 2002, 9:18 pm

Minfetter has a small penis
He likes to try to find it
and he has no balls

Hrmm like that???

noel · Post by **noel** » September 16, 2002, 9:44 pm

Minfetter is gay
His posts and flames are the suck
He really loves the cock

No hammer, like that.

5/7/5, which is not actual haiku, it's renku or renga. Real haiku is 3/5/3.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 17, 2002, 10:02 am

minfetter
is what we call a
fucking gimp

how's that?

noel · Post by **noel** » September 17, 2002, 10:09 am

That's some real fucking haiku, Voronwe.

6AM. time to go ride my bike. See you all at 8AMish! Keep the haiku/renku rolling in!

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » September 17, 2002, 10:37 am

Hug Iksar today
Careful not to get too chaffed
Anyone want to ride tail?

>8)~

Aarinu · Post by **Aarinu** » September 17, 2002, 11:00 am

Honest to god... When my wife farts, the room clears..... She has the nastiest farts I have ever had to smell. Seriously, mine after a night of Tequila is bad, but hers are 10 times worse...

Katria · Post by **Katria** » September 17, 2002, 11:37 am

I don't know if she can fart on command, but my dog makes sure to fart at the most inopportune times and I guarantee a worse smelling fart you've never experienced. Usually she'll try to act innocent by farting while sleeping.. sometimes she'll wake herself up and look back towards her butt to see if the noise came from her own ass.. Sometimes she'll even get up and walk away if it's really bad.. that's when you know it's time to go outside for fresh air.

Dog farts make me mad
Nothing in the world even compares
They stink so very bad

Pyronius Flamebringer · September 17, 2002, 12:20 pm

2) Using other peoples "real life" names on a message board as if it gives you some "mysterious power", (yes my name is, Tom) -Xan

You mean like when you would call Furor Alex on every post you made to him?

noel · Post by **noel** » September 17, 2002, 12:27 pm

Pyronius Flamebringer wrote:2) Using other peoples "real life" names on a message board as if it gives you some "mysterious power", (yes my name is, Tom) -Xan

You mean like when you would call Furor Alex on every post you made to him?

LMAO! That's some rich humor!

BTW, welcome JACKASS!

Obligatory Snatch quote: "You can call me Susan if it makes you happy" - "Bullet Tooth" Tony.

Voronwë · Post by **Voronwë** » September 17, 2002, 12:33 pm

Pyronius Flamebringer wrote:2) Using other peoples "real life" names on a message board as if it gives you some "mysterious power", (yes my name is, Tom) -Xan

You mean like when you would call Furor Alex on every post you made to him?

yah the retarded irony of that statement wasn't lost on me either. LOL

Xanupox · Post by **Xanupox** » September 17, 2002, 2:22 pm

-Hair is on an ass
-Concentrated fart explodes when ignited by flame
-Pyro lacks hair on head

Does this mean Pyronious likes to stick his head in ass, near open flame?

I solved the mystery! To think everyone else just thought it was male pattern baldness at the age of 18! Or are you just trying to look like your idol, ass buddy, Kilmoll?

LOL, im done.

Pyronius Flamebringer · September 17, 2002, 4:20 pm

The final signs of breakdown on Xanupox's part.

1) Resorts to "LOL, Im out" meaning "Ive been throughly owned and cannot form any real retort.

2) Using other peoples "real life" attirbutes to insult them like it makes grants him superiority over them.

And Xan yet again you contradict yourself....wernt you the one who scolded Tarrus for calling me a bald headed freak on the message boards?

noel · Post by **noel** » September 17, 2002, 4:28 pm

Pyronius is my new favourite poster.

Post by **Xouqoa** » September 17, 2002, 4:30 pm

It appears that Xanupox's hypocrisy knows no bounds!

Hammerstalker PE · Post by **Hammerstalker PE** » September 17, 2002, 4:32 pm

Xanupox
is out of the game
and hated

hrmm...

noel · Post by **noel** » September 17, 2002, 4:34 pm

Add the word 'is' to the beggining of line 2 and you have your first valid haiku of the day.

Hammerstalker PE · Post by **Hammerstalker PE** » September 17, 2002, 5:57 pm

Aranuil
is the god of most
Haiku

Canelek · Post by **Canelek** » September 17, 2002, 6:07 pm

There is a certain threshold where Haiku attempts just turn into garbled, broken sentences.

Here is Aranuil again.

Xanupox · Post by **Xanupox** » September 17, 2002, 7:22 pm

Yeah Pyro,

You are correct, I shouldnt have brought up your baldness... I am an asshole though, nearing 30 I find losing a few hairs myself to be the trend. You really never were anything other than kind to me, so I appologize for any ill will you felt concerning my above comments.

Kilmoll, you never backdown from your side, right or wrong. I will leave it at that, nothing really worth even arguing about here anyway. We both played EQ, we both found ourselves in a guild that shared the same name. Though we hardly ever grouped or saw each other outside the raids, we had our mutual agreements with things, I guess we can say we tolerated each other for the benefits of both.

I grow weary of these arguements, I had enough of them when I played the game.. now that I no longer play there is no point to this non-sense, well, other than providing some entertainment to those at work browsing this board.

Until the next thread...

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » September 17, 2002, 8:31 pm

Glad Xan said something, I was about to get all malacious about him losing some hair his damnself

I am fat
But I have hair
I can lose weight
Your scalp still bare

I hate Haiku but a abab rhyme scheme can be fun, don't make me break out the iambic pentameter

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 17, 2002, 10:31 pm

I dare you - all of you - to write a sestina about the subjects presented in this thread.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » September 18, 2002, 9:26 am

In the absence of hair,
some find strong drink and pills good
attempts to cure life’s
many ills. Less is more!
Life’s far too brief
desire relief, denounce the farted.

Time’s often farted;
people as well. Without hair,
on hate we too often dwell. Our conflicts, while brief,
leave us wounded and good;
fueled by a society gone mad. More
successes less excesses life’s

not supposed to feel this bad! Life’s
to be enjoyed, not mindlessly farted,
like fine wine mellowed, then tasted. More
gain less pain that’s hair.
Abolish hate leave the good
for lives too brief

death’s subsequent grief this brief
should not apply to life’s
victory cry. Never weak, nor good,
but armor clad not to be farted
on students of hate, but hair
and her followers who seek much more,

let their voices soar, if our future’s to prove more
of anything than brief.
Champion relief. Our hair
must grow if life’s
to surge, not slow, turn bad…nor be farted
with obsessions of good.

So, what can we do to quell this good?
To conquer the mad drink the wine assure more
flavor is tasted decry the farted?
Eliminate grief or hold it brief.
Reject the societal embrace of life’s
dark side and simply hair.

Resolve to make your good moments brief.
Resolve to embrace more of life’s
beauty. Resolve that to be hateful is to be farted. Resolve to hair.

'nuff said BEOTCH

noel · Post by **noel** » September 18, 2002, 10:01 am

/applaud Kylere.

Very impressive sir.

Drolgin, you say what?

Drolgin Steingrinder · September 18, 2002, 10:49 am

I'm ... man, never thought I'd say this ... I'm impressed, good work.

Sestinas are a bitch to write. Having them make sense is almost impossible.

I will have to say, though, that the hair seems slightly out of place; I don't quite see where you are going with it.

Kylere · Post by **Kylere** » September 18, 2002, 11:56 am

Well Drolgin, it depends on how vital you find hair, one of the best examples of a hair worshipper in popular culture was Fonzi on the old Happy Days show, if you think about the importance of being hair, versus just plain old being there, I think you will catch my drift

EDIT: Not to mention for example the play Hair, and the whole hippy versus straight subcultures, and lack of hair versus having hair, let us face reality, every bald dude is not Patrick Stewart.

Kilmoll the Sexy · Post by **Kilmoll the Sexy** » September 18, 2002, 5:14 pm

I am sexiness without hair. You could slap Whitesnake hair on me and I would still look better with it all shaved down to the scalp.

VeeshanVault

At will...

At will...

..

and to prove my point

And?

Yeah well

Drolgin