The Island Crafts Shop. or

[Sparty]

Sorry for disapearing. About 3 months ago, I realized that I was not funny any more. So, since then, I have been on a journey to find the funniness that I had lost. Of course, I could not make this trip without my good friend Little Rico. So, on August 3rd 2003, me and Little Rico set out to find my funniness. I’ve kept a journal since we left so I could document my travels. Its been tough for me to read the journal ever since my good friend died, but I figured you guys may find some entertainment from it.

Aug. 7 2003: Well, me and Little Rico have been walking for 4 days now. We've finally made it to Orlando which is about 50 miles from our starting point of Daytona Beach. We would have just hitchhiked, but our thumbs hurt from the wild "going away" party that we had before we left. We heard there was going to be a biker gathering tonight in Orlando, so we may check that out and see if anyone has seen my funniness.

Aug. 10 2003: The last few days are very hazy for me and Little Rico. On Aug. 7, me and LR went to a biker rally and met a great fella by the name of Bobby. Now, the best way to describe bobby is that he looked like a gothic Santa clause. Bobby said he knew were my funniness was and offered to give me and LR a ride on his brand new blue huffy 2k. I sat on the handle bar and LR sat in Bobby's lap. Bobby said that he couldn’t say where my funniness was but he promised he was taking us there. On the night of the 8th, we stopped at a gas station and got some pop. I saw bobby put something in our drinks but since I didn’t know what it was I drank it. From that point on, me and LR don’t remember much. The only clue that was left when me and LR woke up this morning is that we both have tattoo’s on our backs. Mine says Coupl and LR's says Eoffags. I think its actually a clue to were to find my funniness, but me and LR cant figure out what it might mean. We tried standing next to each other but Eoffags + Coupl, doesn’t mean anything =( Ahwell, maybe we'll figure it out. We just found out where we are. We're in Cleveland Tennessee. Also known as the Bible Belt. We plan on catching a
church service before we leave tomorrow. I'll keep you updated.

Aug. 23 2003: Well, I just got out of the hospital. Its a long story, but I’ll try to explain what happened. On Aug. 11th, me and LR went to a church service. Everything was going great until some dude stood up and started spitting out a bunch of weird words. I think they call it speaking in tongue's. They say you speak like that when you connect to god. It sounded more like he was a guy with cerebral palsy who just skinned his knee. Anyways, I started laughing at the guy and got kicked out of the church. They wouldn’t let LR leave the church, so I was worried about him and had to find a way to get back in. I figured my best bet was to find some sort of disguise. I walked around a bit until I saw this cool outfit on a clothing hanger. I think it was some sort of red pepper suit with a big fork. It must not have been a ripe red pepper because it had two horns on the top of it. Anyways, I snuck back into the church with my red pepper suit, fork in hand. It was weird, but I didn’t seem to fool anyone. As soon as I got inside the place started going crazy. One lady started screaming out "satin". I politely told her that my outfit was not made of satin, but she didn’t seem to believe me. The crowd continued to yell at me. I tried to run away, but they tackled me a proceeded to tie me to some big letter t that was made out of wood. I’m not sure why the t was there, im guessing they were trying to spell something but hadn’t gotten around to finishing the other letters. Anyway, they tied me to the letter t and lit me on fire. At this time, I was a little worried because im actually alergic to fire. Luckily, Little Rico managed to fight off the crowd and get me down. but not after I was burnt pretty badly. So, ive been in the Hospital until today. As soon as we left the hospital today, we quickly got the hell out of Cleveland Tennessee. I’m not really sure where we're heading to next. We don’t have any leads as to were my funniness may be.

Aug. 24 2003: Little Rico stayed up all night last night thinking of clues of where my funniness might be. He’s so friggin smart. He was thinking about our tattoo’s and scrambled the words around a bit. He came up with the name Coop Sugaffel. Coop is an old friend of ours that lives Las Vegas. So, we're off to Las Vegas to find our old buddy Coop Sugaffel!


Aug. 29 2003: We've finally made it to Las Vegas. My arms hurt from flying. lmao. We're gonna start searching for Coop tomorrow, but tonight me and LR are gonna make a few bets. We are in Las Vegas after all.

Aug. 30 2003: Last night was pretty uneventful. This morning we set out to find Coop. The first place we checked was all of the strip clubs. Coop enjoys strip clubs and we figured that was a good place to start. At the last strip club we checked, a stripper told us she knows Coop. It was the last strip club we checked but it could also be called the first strip club we checked. We only checked one strip club. It was the last club we checked because we found what we needed to find and we didn’t need to check any other strip clubs. Therefore it was the first and last strip club. Kinda like jumping jacks. Anyway, the strippers name was Sherly. Sherly was a bigger lady who had a big butt. Or, as the kids like to call em, a ghetto booty. Not everyone in the ghetto has a booty like this, but like 9 of 10 ho's do. I'm not really a big fan of the ghetto booty, but Sherly did have one feature that I love. She had some fat ass shoulder blades. There’s nothing better then pushing the fat on the shoulder blades together and blade fucking them. Sherly told us that Coop Sugaffel was a regular at the club and would be in in a few hours. So, me and LR chilled at the club and took in some scenery. About 7 hours went by and we still hadn’t seen Coop. So, I found sherly and asked her were Coop was. She pointed at some fella at the bar but it wasn’t Coop. It looked just like Coop, but the coop we use to know wore glasses. It was a weird coincidence that he was also named Coop Sugaffel, but since it wasn’t the Coop we knew, me and LR left and headed back to the hotel.

Sep. 2 2003: The last couple of days have been crazy. It all started last night while I was still searching for my old friend Coop. I met this lady named Judy at a Casino. Judy was in Vegas for an Anger Management seminar. Apparently, Judy cant manage her anger. I told her that im good with paper work and could help her manage her anger. Then she hit me. I was like, "what the fuck dude?" and then she hit me again. Things calmed down after that and we went back to her place. We started making out and then she hand cuffed me to the bed. I’ve been hand cuffed before, so i was like "trruuuuue". Well, she left for a few minutes and came back in all leather. Again, ive been there seen that. Im down with the leather shit. She then tied my legs up making a V. This was new to me, but im like "whatever, I'll do want I want". She left the room one more time and finally came back. She took a few steps back from the bed, smiled, and then she started throwing baseballs at my sack. I realized at that point that things had taken a turn for the worst. After the 33rd baseball, I passed out. This morning I woke up in an alley way with two dollars, papers stating that me and Judy had gotten married, and a half bitten off ear. I was a little upset, but I had to keep my head up and keep searching for my funniness. The hardest part was that any time my sack touched anything, I cried.

Sep. 3 2003: After being stumped most of the day. I remembered something Judy said. She said, "you looking for some funniness? well how do you like these apples". Then she hit me. I think it was a clue to where my funniness was. I happen to know for a fact that Asians grow Apples in Vancouver Canada. So, me and LR bought some of those shoes that have the little pop out skates and skated our way to Vancouver.

Sep. 7 2003: We finally made it to Vancouver. Now, this is our first time In Canada, so me and LR were a little surprised to see that Vancouver was a pretty big city. I always thought Canadians lived in Igloo's and hunted sea lions to get by. They actually live in huts and hunt seals. Me and LR headed over to China Town, and started asking all the Asians if they'd seen my funniness. We met a great guy by the name of Longtime Lucy. Lucy told us he knew were my funniness was, but we must be very quite and sneaky. So, Longtime Lucy helped us jump around on top of all the buildings and we finally got to some tree's. I was very excited to see the tree's because they had apples on them! So, we jumped around on the tree's until Lucy yelled out, "stop!" Lucy jumped down to the ground and knocked on the ground. Suddenly, the ground begin to shake and this huge object starting rising out of the ground. At first, I thought it was a small planet, but it ended up being Jerry Lewis. It was hard looking at Jerry's fat ass head without laughing. Jerry wasn’t my funniness, but he left me with a small riddle that is suppose to help me. (My head if fat, I have a cat, shit I love my kids)

Sep. 8 2003: Little Rico's done it once again. He has figured out the riddle. The first word of the riddle is my. If you substitute the m in my with an N, then it makes NY. Now you get it, New York! We're running low on money, so we're gonna head to the dog pound, grab a couple dogs and then ride them to New York.

More to come later in a few days? The suspense builds!

My name is Sparty

Miss you guys )

[Chidoro]

She took a few steps back from the bed, smiled, and then she started throwing baseballs at my sack. I realized at that point that things had taken a turn for the worst

[Morgrym]

lmfao

WB SPARTY

[Voronwë]

hi sparty!

[Xouqoa]

SATIN! SATIN!

[Tegellan]

Welcome back Sparty

Enojy NY and don't forget to tell us all about it!

[masteen]

I'm not really a big fan of the ghetto booty, but Sherly did have one feature that I love. She had some fat ass shoulder blades. There’s nothing better then pushing the fat on the shoulder blades together and blade fucking them.

So hawt!!!

[Canelek]

Miss ya Sparty!

[Drolgin Steingrinder]

It sounded more like he was a guy with cerebral palsy who just skinned his knee.